Honor Student (3 page)

“No!” I cried as I wiped harder. I was
officially breaking down. I grabbed the book and threw it across
the room. It collided with a picture hanging on the far wall
causing it to fall and shatter on impact. “Fuck!” I yelled as I
stumbled over to the mess to clean it. My vision was blurred and as
I grabbed a piece of the jagged glass, it cut me deeply across the
palm of my hand and up my wrist. Blood ran freely down my fingers
and dripped onto the old picture of my Aunt and Mother. I collapsed
onto the floor, sobbing as I hugged the picture tightly.

Chapter Six

“Emma! Dear god! Emma! Call the police!” My
Aunt screamed as she shook me. I blinked several times but could
not open my eyes fully in the light. The shaking had turned my
stomach and I lurched forward, vomiting all over the living room
floor.

“Emma! Why would you try to kill yourself?”
She shouted through tears as a man in the background talked in a
panic on the phone.

“I didn’t…” I whispered but my throat was raw
and sore from crying the night before.

“Hush now.” She replied, soothingly as she
pulled me into her chest and hugged me tightly. “Grab her some
water!” she yelled off to the man in the other room. He quickly
appeared with a glass of water. He held the glass up to my mouth
and began pouring it down my throat. I coughed and gagged as my
Aunt smacked the man hard on the arm. “You’re going to drown her!”
she shouted.

“I’m sorry!” he yelled back with irritation
but I could tell that he was full of panic.

“I’m fine.” I assured them. “This isn’t what
it looks like.” I said with a nervous laugh. My head was finally
starting to clear and as I glanced around at the mess I had left, I
understood why they were so upset. I bottle of vodka lay open on
its side, its contents spilled on the floor. A picture of my
deceased mother lay broken around me and I was covered in my own
blood. “I was just sad.” I explained as my eyes landed on the
crumpled picture of my mother. Tears welled up in my eyes and I
swallowed hard, trying to hold them back.

“Here” my Aunt said as she pushed the water
back to my mouth. A loud banging came from the front door and my
Aunt’s companion hurried to answer it.

“I’m okay, really.” I said after swallowing a
sip of water. I pushed to my feet to stand and nearly lost my
balance. My Aunt jumped up beside me and grabbed my arm. Two police
officers rounded the corner into the living room followed by a
three medics.

“What happened?” the tall huskier officer
asked but he was looking at my Aunt.

“I don’t know. I found her lying on the floor
with her Mother’s picture.” She explained but her words became
muffled under her sobbing. “She tried to kill herself!” she
sputtered as the medics surrounded me and began checking my vitals
and the wound on my hand.

“No! No! I didn’t try to kill myself!” I
shouted over their conversation but no one paid any attention to my
protests. My tears gave way as I began to panic. “Please! I just
want to go home!” I sobbed. The older female medic looked at me
sadly. I hated that look. The look of pity I received from everyone
after my parents had died. Anger bubbled up inside of me and I
began to fight against them. One medic was holding my injured hand
and another was taking my blood pressure from the other arm. I felt
claustrophobic, struggling desperately to free myself from their
hold. The police officer who was talking with my Aunt took notice
and began to shout at me to calm down. His partner, a younger
female put her hand on her weapon as her eyes darted back and forth
between us. The third medic had disappeared and returned quickly
with a gurney. The harder I fought the tighter they held me. Within
seconds, I was lying on my back strapped to the device. My Aunt’s
cries faded into the background as the wheeled me down the hall and
out of the front door. The sunlight was blinding and the surge of
heat made my stomach turn. The medics slid me into the back of
their ambulance and closed the door behind us. The sudden darkness
made it impossible for me to see and carsickness took over where
the warmth had left off. “Please…” I cried as the older nurse wiped
my hair from my forehead.

I took long calming breathes and finally
managed to stop crying as the ambulance pulled into the hospital.
They pulled me out and pushed me into the emergency room where
doctors and nurses where waiting for us. The nurse left my side and
talked quietly to a doctor in the far corner of the room. I could
not make out anything they were saying but the doctor’s eyes never
left my face and I felt utterly humiliated. I let my headrest back
on the gurney and stared up at the white ceiling tiles. After a few
moments, the doctor was by my side, adjusting his latex gloves.

“How are you feeling today Ms. Townsend?” he
asked as he pulled up my eyelids to inspect my pupils.

“Like an idiot.” I replied with
irritation.

“Well, there isn’t much I can do for that,
but I can fix up that nasty gash on your hand.” he said with a
slight smile and I relaxed a little. “You think we can take off
these restraints?” he asked and I nodded my head.

“I wasn’t trying to kill myself.” I replied.
He began undoing the leather belt like devices and looking over my
hand.

“Well, I am inclined to believe you.” He said
and nodded to the police outside of the door. They walked away from
the opening and he set back to fixing my hand. “I’ve never seen
someone try to kill themselves by cutting their hand.” He continued
as he pulled a small piece of glass from the wound. I reflexively
tried to pull my hand back from him but he held onto it tightly.
“This is going to hurt a little.” He warned and I nodded, biting my
lip. He cleaned the cut and by the time he was done, I had four
stitches and a pink gauze bandage wrapped around my hand and up my
wrist. I explained what had happened while he worked and I felt
surprisingly better when the process was finished. “Life doesn’t
get any easier. You have been through a lot. It’s okay to ask for
help.” He said kindly and I assured him that I would talk to
someone next time I was feeling sad.

“How are you feeling?” my Aunt called from
the doorway. I did not know how long she had been standing
there.

“I’m fine.” I answered as I slid off the
bed.

“You have no idea…” she began but her words
trailed off and I did not encourage her to finish.

Chapter Seven

The ride home seemed to last for hours as I
explained to my Aunt what had really happened last night. I was
sad, but I never intended to hurt myself. She lectured me for
drinking too much and I did not argue. I did not intend to ever
touch another drop of alcohol again. All of her sadness was
replaced with anger and I preferred it that way. I could not stand
to see one more person look at me with pity.

We pulled into the garage and I could not
wait to take a shower and go back to sleep.

“Get ready. You still have a few more classes
today.” She called from behind me.

“You’re kidding right?” I asked.

“You think you deserve a day off after all
you put me through? I’ll be lucky if I ever see Dan again!” she
said angrily.

“Dan?” I asked, having no clue what she was
talking about.

“My date from last night. You nearly gave him
a heart attack!” she yelled down the hall. I rolled my eyes and
closed the bathroom door behind me.

I showered as quickly as I could with one
arm. It was harder than I had anticipated. Getting dressed was no
easier and by the time I was ready an hour had passed.

“Let’s go.” My Aunt called from outside of my
room.

“I can drive myself.” I replied. She pulled
my bedroom door open and glared at me. “Two hours ago you couldn’t
let go of me and now you’re treating me like you hate me.” I
mumbled as I gathered my books.

“I don’t hate you. If I did, I wouldn’t care
if you didn’t go to school or drank yourself into oblivion.” She
shot back. I realized she was right. All this time living with her,
I assumed I was a burden to her. It was nice to know how much she
cared, even if she showed it by punishing me.

“I’m ready.” I said as I shrugged on a hoodie
and pulled the sleeve down to try to hide my pink bandage.

“It’s too hot for that.” She said as I walked
by her and down the hall. I ignored her and continued out to her
car.

We did not speak on the trip to my school. I
kept the window down trying to keep myself cool but nothing seemed
to help.

When we arrived, I hoped out of the car and
headed towards the building. I heard a car door slam behind me and
I stopped and looked back. My aunt was hurrying to catch up with
me.

“What are you doing?” I asked, not bothering
to hide my irritation.

“I have to sign you in.” she responded and
continued to walk passed me. I reluctantly followed her.

“I’m an adult. This isn’t high school. I
don’t think I need you to sign me in.” I said but she kept walking.
When we reached the office, I hung out by the door as my Aunt spoke
to the secretary. Mr. Honor stepped into the office and placed some
papers onto the counter. The office assistant turned beat red as
she saw him and began nervously tugging at a loose dirty blonde
tendril that had fallen free from her bun. He smiled at her and I
realized that this was his date from the theater. After a moment,
he turned to leave and I tried my best to look anywhere but his
eyes, but I could not help myself.

“You missed my class. Come see me after you
are done here.” he said seriously. I bit my lip and nodded as he
walked away.

“All set. The counselor is going to make time
for you. I’ll be back to get you when school is over.” My Aunt
called from the counter.

“I can get a ride.” I replied. She waved her
hand to dismiss my comment. I left the office and walked slowly
down the empty hall to Mr. Honor’s class, tugging nervously at my
bandage.

I knocked at his door and waited for him to
answer.

“Come in.” he called and I opened the door
and walked inside. The classroom was empty and he was removing his
button up shirt. His undershirt was black and it matched his tattoo
that wrapped his arm and stopped just at his neck. He folded his
shirt and laid it over the back of his chair.

“What happened?” he asked as he glanced down
at my hand.

“I had an accident.” I replied nervously as I
bit my lip. His eyes tightened and his expression was
unreadable.

“I saw you at the theater yesterday day. That
was…,” he said as his eyes danced up and down my body.

“Awkward” I replied, finishing his sentence.
He laughed quietly.

“Unexpected” he corrected me. “Ms. Townsend,
do you remember what I said about being late to my class?” he asked
and I bit my lip again as I remembered our last encounter in his
classroom, alone. He sat down on the edge of his desk and waited
for my response. I did not know what to say and after a moment, he
motioned for me to come closer. I walked over towards him and sat
my books down on a desk in the front row.

“I’m really sorry. It has been a crazy
morning and…” I began to explain. He stood up quickly and in one
swift motion, he bent me over onto his desk. Before I could
protest, his hand can down hard across my bottom. I gasped loudly
at the sudden pain as he smacked me once again. His body bent down
over top of mine and his lips brushed against my ear.

“Shh…” he whispered as his hand rubbed my
stinging bottom. He stood upright again and smacked, this time
harder. I curled my fingertips over the edge of his desk as he
smacked again and again. I could not breathe and I pressed my lips
together to keep from moaning. I was overwhelmed with embarrassment
and pain. His hand rubbed gently over me where he had struck. His
fingers dipped between my thighs and the pain gave way to pure
wanting. As the stinging subsided, he hit again. As quickly as it
began, it was over. I lay bent over his desk gasping for air.

“Get to class.” He breathed heavily but it
took a moment before I could move. I lay there as he circled the
desk and began putting back on his shirt. After a moment, I
regained my composure and stood upright. He came back around and
grabbed my books, holding them out to me. I took them, unable to
look him in the eye and left the room as quickly as I could.

Chapter Eight

The rest of the day, I no longer thought
about the crazy morning at the hospital. All I could think about
was Mr. Honor. I did not know if I could ever go back into his
classroom again and at the same time that is all I wanted to
do.

I walked out to the curb in the front of the
building and sat down as I waited for my Aunt to pick me up. The
students came and went and soon the parking lot was all but empty.
The teachers began to file out and I opened one of my texts books
and read over the things I had missed. I spotted Mr. Honor walking
with the office assistant and my cheeks burned with jealousy. They
walked over to her car and talked for a few minutes before he
kissed her on the cheek and she got in and left. I went back to my
textbook and did not realize he had walked back towards me.

“No ride?” he asked.

“My Aunt is hit and miss when it comes to
responsibility.” I replied, irritated that she did not let me drive
myself.

“I never miss.” He replied and a shiver ran
down my spine. His eyes burned into me and for a moment, all I
could do was stare up at him helplessly. “Come on. I’ll take you
home.” He said and turned to walk away. He did not give me the
opportunity to protest. I jumped up from the curb and followed
behind him. He opened the passenger side of a sleek little black
sports car and took my books from my hands. I slid in and watched
him walk to the driver’s side as I bit my lip. His car smelled just
like him and I inhaled deeply, not able to get enough of his scent.
He threw my books into the back seat and got in next to me. He
looked angry and annoyed that he had to drive me and I suddenly
felt self-conscious.