Honor Thy Teacher (14 page)

“Please don’t go” Her voice was full of sadness. A lone tear slid down her pink cheek. I wiped it away, wishing it were that easy to get rid of all of her pain. She pushed forward, her mouth finding mine, hungrily. I
couldn’t
resist her. For a moment, I gave in. Her lips grew hungry and she slipped her tongue past mine. I pulled back, wishing I
hadn’t
ever acted on my feelings for her.

“Get washed up. You will feel better.” I turned off my emotions, not wanting to feel anything anymore. I left, closing the door behind me, hearing her muffled sobs in the back of my mind.

I had ruined her life in the short time I had known her. I lied to myself, telling myself I was helping her, protecting her. The only person she needed protected from was me. I
couldn’t
control myself when I was around her. My every waking thought
was clouded and consumed by her
.

I made my way into my bedroom. Sinking down on the edge of my
bed
I ran my hands through my hair. I needed to protect her from me. I needed to right all of the wrongs I have done. I grabbed my phone and called an old friend. One of the very few people I considered that.

“I need you to do me a favor.” I
didn’t
waste my time with pleasantries. If I was
calling
he knew it was serious.

“Jesus Christ, William. What did you get yourself into now?” Stephen asked, laughing to himself. Stephen and I were old college
buddies
. I helped him out of a few situations and he still owed me.

“I need you to do a little digging for me.” I explained the situation with the note
and Emma and all of the shit I had gotten her
into
. He sighed and the line hung silent for a few minutes.

“I’ll see what
I can find out about this Jeff
and get back to you. William, are you sure…” His voice quieted and he
didn’t
have to finish his sentence for me to know exactly who he was talking about.

“I’m
sure
” I said, not wanting to
even wanting to entertain the thought of her with someone else
.
The door let out a loud creak behind me. I spun around to see Emma, wearing nothing.
“Call me back if you hear anything. I have to go.”
I
couldn’t
help but stare at her.
She was absolute perfection.

“Emma” I sighed, hoping she would turn and run from me. I walked slowly towards her, stopping a few steps away.

“Are you mad at me?” She asked and a sadistic laugh escaped me.

“How could I ever be mad at you?” I knew I should have made myself stop. I should have blown her off for her own good, but I
was drawn
to her. I stepped forward, kissing her lightly on the forehead. “I’m mad at myself.” I deserved the pain I was putting myself though. “Get dressed. I’ll take you home.” I forced myself to step back from her. I turned to my dresser and pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of my jeans for her to wear.

“But…you said it wasn’t safe for me there.”
She took the clothing and held it over her body. I
wasn’t
strong enough to push her away.

“It’s not safe for you with me.” It hurt to say it but she needed to understand.
She took a step towards me and I had to put up a hand to stop her. If she came any closer, I would lose myself. I wanted to have her in every way possible, to possess her. She
didn’t
move and I
couldn’t help the disappointment
that crept over me. I ran my hands through my hair, frustrated.

“You can have the bed, I’ll take the couch.” I walked out of the room, forcing myself to leave her there alone. I pushed the thought of slamming her against the wall and fucking her the way she wanted me to. My cock throbbed at the idea. I went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. On the way back to the couch, I had to force myself not to go to her.

I
lay
awake for hours, thinking of her.
Thinking of her naked body wrapped in my sheets.
Thinking of my hands roaming over her soft skin.
Then I thought about
Jeff’s hands on her body at the club. Rage boiled inside of me.

I could hear her tossing and turning. I told myself I needed to make sure she was okay. I walked over to the door that sat ajar and peered inside. She tossed and turned, tangling herself in the sheets. Her face looked in pain but her body writhed
like
she was in the midst of passion. I grew hard. Her eyes flew open and locked onto mine as she bit down on her lip.

“It was just a nightmare.” She said, struggling to steady her breathing. If it was a nightmare, I knew it involved me. I walked out of the room without saying a word.

I walked to the kitchen and grabbed my phone. I sent Stephen a quick text to see if he found anything out. I poured a drink while I waited, staring at my bedroom door.
There was no sound I was certain she had drifted back off to sleep.
My phone lit up.

Nothing serious.
He did have a complaint filed against him last year.

Seems he got a little aggressive with a female but nothing ever came of it.

I swallowed hard trying to stop the bile that rose in my throat. I took another long drink and grabbed my keys. I did warn her that I would kill him if he touched her again.

As I made my way to
the
club
I scanned the parking lot to see who was still around. I recognized Jeff’s car from his online pictures. Amazing how much information we give away online. I checked my watch. The club was less than an hour from closing. I parked a few spaces away and made my way over to his vehicle. I wanted to wait for him. I wanted to look him in the eye when I hurt him for touching her. I
couldn’t
risk it. If anyone knew about us, she would never be able to escape it.
To escape me.

I
tried the driver side door.
Locked.
I moved back, looking around to make sure no one was around. I was alone. I pulled the handle and the door swung open. I smiled at how easy he made it. I reached up and unlocked the front door, sliding inside. I popped the hood and walked to the front of the car. One last look around before rea
ching in and loosening the brake
line.

I slipped back inside the house quietly
, hoping she
hadn’t
woke while I was gone.

Chapter Twenty-
One

I stood in the kitchen in my boxer briefs waiting for the coffee to brew. I was nervous to know if she awoke last night to find me gone. I forced myself not to turn on the news to see if Jeff had been involved in a horrible drunk driving accident. Tragic as that would be. I felt no pity for him.
If she had seen the look in his eyes when he touched her.
The same look mirrored in my eyes thousands of times before, I am sure.

I heard her stir a few minutes later and I busied myself, pouring the coffee. I turned to face her as I heard her draw
near
. I ran my hand through my hair trying to push the thought of how lovely she looked in my oversized shirt and nothing else. She looked to the ground and tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Coffee smells good.” She said, breaking the spell. I handed her a cup of coffee and quickly drank mine, pouring another cup.

“Didn’t sleep?” She asked, not accusingly.

“I had a lot on my mind.” My eyes danced over her.

“I’m sorry ab
out everything last night.” Sh
e looked sad and guilty. I wondered if I looked guilty.

“I hurt you and you apologize.” I laughed at the irony.
“Emma, I am no good for you. I knew what I was doing the first moment I saw you. I should have stopped it. I shouldn’t have let it go this far.”

“I wanted you just as badly as you wanted me.”
She said quietly. She
didn’t
get it. She
didn’t
understand how dangerous I was for her. For all I know, I killed someone last night because he had touched her. I slammed my hands down on the counter between us. She jumped at the loud noise.

“I scare you. Good. Maybe now you will stay away from me.”
The words burned my throat as I said them. I
couldn’t
imagine never touching her again.
Not being there to protect her.
But
who would protect her from me?

“You don’t mean that.” She stepped around the island, closing the distance between us.

“It’s for your own good Emma.” I wanted her, for once in her life,
to
think about her own safety. She stopped, not stepping any closer. Her eyes looked through me as she searched for any truth in my words. Without saying another
word
she turned and made her way to the bathroom.
Her steps faster than I would have liked.
She was sad. I wanted to run to her, to hold her. I
didn’t
.

Instead, I went to my room and got dressed. When I returned the air was thick with regret. When Emma exited the bathroom, she was wearing her clubbing clothes. I knew she had finally understood. I had finally been able to push her away.

We
didn’t
speak. I grabbed my keys and she followed behind me to my car. I opened the door and watched her slide inside. She winced as her bottom touched the seat and angled herself away from me.

“Emma” I sighed.

“Don’t” she cut me off. I
couldn’t
blame her. I
didn’t
try to talk to her again. It was sick of me
to constantly push
her away only to pull her back for my own selfish needs.

The trip to the grocery store where her car
was parked
seemed especially short. The instant I put the car in park she opened her door and slammed it behind her. I
didn’t
deserve anything more. I knew that.