Honor Thyself (35 page)

“Great. A little tired, but I would be anyway, with jet lag. How are you, Mike?”

“Busy. I hate this time of year.” He made social chitchat for a few minutes, and then got to the reason for his call. “What are you doing next September?”

“Going to college. Why?” she teased him.

“You are?” He was surprised.

“No. How do I know what I'll be doing in September? I'm just happy to be here now. I damn near wasn't.” They both knew how true that was.

“Don't tell me. I know,” he said. She was still touched by his trip to Paris to see her. No one else would have done that but him, on an overnight flight from L.A. “Well, kid, I've got a part for you. A great one. If you don't do this picture, I quit.” He told her who was doing it, and who the stars were. She had a starring role with two major actors and a respected younger actress, and she was getting lead billing. It was a fabulous movie, with a big budget, and a director she'd worked with before and loved. She couldn't believe her ears.

“Are you serious?”

“Damn right I am. The director is starting another picture in Europe in February. He'll be there till July. And he can't start this one till September. He has to wrap up postproduction on the other one in August. So you'd have time off till then to write your book, if you're still doing that.”

“I am. I'm already working on it.” She was thrilled by what he had said.

“There'll be some location shooting in Europe. In London and Paris. They'll shoot the rest in L.A. How does that sound to you?”

“Tailor-made.” She hadn't told him about Matthieu yet. But what he had just said fit perfectly with her current plans, to spend time with Matthieu in Paris, and in L.A. London was the icing on the cake, and she could spend time there with Chloe.

“I'll send you the script. They want an answer by next week. They've got two other actresses lined up behind you, who would kill to do this. I'll messenger the script over to you tomorrow. I read it last night and it's great.” She trusted him. He always told her the truth, and they had similar taste in scripts. They usually liked the same ones.

“I'll read it right away,” Carole promised.

“How are you feeling, seriously? Do you think you'll be up to it by then?” He still sounded worried.

“I do. I'm feeling better every day. And the doctor here gave me a clean bill of health.”

“Don't push,” he reminded her, as Matthieu had. They both knew her too well. She always pushed, it was just her way. She drove herself hard, and had since the beginning of her career, although she had slowed down in recent years. But she could feel her engines revving up again. She'd taken a long enough break. “You'll regret it later,” he warned.

“I know. I'm not that stupid.” She was well aware of what she'd been through and how taxing it had been. She still needed time to convalesce. But she had no major plans for a while. She and Matthieu could take it easy too. And she was going to write the book at her own pace. She had eight months now before she had to go back to work.

“Well, kid. You're going to be back in business on this one.” He was thrilled for her.

“Sounds like it. I can't wait to read the script.”

“You'll go nuts,” he promised. “I'll eat my shoes if you don't.” It was a tall order. He was a big man and wore a size fourteen.

“I'll call you the day after Christmas.” The next day was Christmas Eve, and Jason and Anthony were flying in from New York.

“Merry Christmas, Carole,” Mike said, sounding choked up. He couldn't even imagine it if she were no longer here, if they'd all been mourning her. It didn't bear thinking, and would have been a tragedy to him, and so many others.

“Merry Christmas to you too, Mike,” she said, and hung up.

She told Chloe about the script over dinner, and saw a shadow come over her face. It was the first time she had realized how much her daughter really resented her career.

“We'll be on location in London, if I do it. That would be great, I could spend that time with you. And you can hop over to Paris while we're there.” Chloe's face lightened at the words, she knew how hard her mother was trying, and it meant a lot to her. Whatever her sins of the past were, in Chloe's mind, she was atoning for them now.

“Thanks, Mom. That would be fun.”

They had dinner alone that night. They ordered Chinese takeout, and the nurse went to pick it up. Carole didn't want to waste a minute with her daughter. Chloe slept in her bed that night, and they giggled like two little kids. And the next day Chloe and her mother went to pick Jason and Anthony up at LAX. Mercifully, Stevie was off. It was Christmas Eve, and she'd earned it. She wasn't coming back to work till the day after Christmas.

The script Mike had told her about had arrived that afternoon. She had glanced at it, and it looked great so far, as good as he had promised. She was going to try to read it on Christmas night, after everyone went to bed. But she was already fairly sure she would like it. Mike was right. And the part they wanted her for was fantastic. She had told Matthieu about it on the phone. He was excited for her. He knew she wanted to go back to work. And this sounded like a perfect part for her.

Anthony and Jason were among the first off the plane. Chloe drove them home, and they all talked at the same time on the way back. There was giggling and laughing, and embarrassing stories from Christmases past. They talked about the year Anthony had accidentally knocked over the tree when he was five, trying to trap Santa as he slid down their chimney in New York. There were dozens of stories like that that touched Carole's heart and amused the others. She remembered almost all the stories now.

They ordered pizza when they got to the house, and after the kids went to their rooms, Jason wandered into the kitchen for something to drink and found Carole there.

“How are you feeling, really?” he asked her seriously. She looked better than when he had last seen her, but still pale. She'd done a lot since she got home. Probably too much, knowing her, he thought.

“Good, actually,” she said, looking surprised herself.

“You sure gave us a hell of a scare,” he said, referring to the bombing and its aftermath. He had been wonderful to her then, and she was still touched by all he had said.

“I gave myself a hell of a scare too. It was shit luck, but it turned out okay in the end.”

“Yes, it did,” he said, smiling at her. They talked for a little while, and then he went to bed, and Carole stopped in her office for a few minutes before she went to her room. She liked that time of night, when everything was quiet. She always had, especially when the kids were young. It was private time for her. She needed that.

She glanced at her watch and saw that it was just after midnight. It was nine o'clock in the morning in France. She could have called Matthieu, and she wanted to at some point, to wish him a Merry Christmas. But right now, she didn't. They had time now, lots of it, and he would be in L.A. with her soon enough. She was happy to have him back in her life. He was an unexpected gift. She sat down at her desk, glanced at her computer, and saw the last entries she'd made on her book. She had it sorted out in her head now, and knew what she wanted to write.

She looked out into the garden, with the fountain all lit up, and the pond. Her children were at home, in their rooms. Jason was there, like the loving friend and brother he had become. Their transition from past to present had been smooth. She had a movie to do. Stevie was getting married in a week. She had survived a terrorist bombing, and she had her memory back. Carole closed her eyes and silently thanked God for the blessings she had, and then opened them again and smiled. She had everything she had ever wanted and more. And best of all, she had herself. She hadn't compromised herself in the process or in the course of her life. She hadn't given up her ideals or her values, or the things that mattered to her. She had been true to herself and those she loved. She glanced at the bracelet Matthieu had given her, and read the inscription again. “Honor Thyself.” To the best of her knowledge, she had. She hadn't told her family about Matthieu yet. But when the time was right she would. She knew Anthony would probably object at first, but hopefully he would calm down with time. He had a right to his opinions and concerns for her. And she had a right to her own life, and to make the choices that seemed best for her.

“What are you doing?” a voice behind her asked. It was Chloe, standing in her nightgown in the doorway. She wanted to sleep in her mother's bed again, and it was fine with Carole. It reminded her of when Chloe was a little girl. She had loved sleeping with her mother then too.

“I'm just thinking,” Carole said, turning to smile at her.

“About what?”

“About how much I have to be thankful for this year.”

“Me too,” Chloe said softly, and then came to give her mother a hug. “I'm so glad you're here.” And then she scampered into the hall on her long graceful legs. “Come on, Mom, let's go to bed.”

“Okay, boss,” Carole said, as she turned out the lights in her office, and followed her daughter down the hall to her own room. “Thank you,” Carole whispered, glancing skyward with a grateful smile. It was indeed a merry Christmas that year, for them all.

About the Author

DANIELLE STEEL has been hailed as one of the world's most popular authors, with over 580 million copies of her novels sold. Her many international best sellers include
A Good Woman, Rogue, Honor Thyself, Amazing Grace, Bungalow 2, Sisters
, and other highly acclaimed novels. She is also the author of
His Bright Light
, the story of her son Nick Traina's life and death.

Visit the Danielle Steel Web Site at
www.daniellesteel.com.

a cognizant original v5 release october 16 2010

HONOR THYSELF
A Dell Book

Published by
Bantam Dell
A Division of Random House, Inc.
New York, New York

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved
Copyright © 2008 by Danielle Steel

Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 2007013851

Dell is a registered trademark of Random House, Inc., and the colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc.

eISBN: 978-0-307-56651-5

www.bantamdell.com

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