Honored Vow (29 page)

“What?”

“I knew it wouldn’t last.”

I studied his profile in the darkness.

“Jin?”

“Domin wanted Koren for a long time.”

“And my guess is that it was mutual.”

“But?”

“But this is Koren we’re talking about.”

I thought about that.

“What?”

“I was so happy when Koren finally stood up for Domin, when he took a stand and said that Domin was the one he loved.”

“He never said that,” Mikhail corrected me. “He showed the man affection in front of the rest of us, but there were never any words. You told Logan’s father that if Koren became Domin’s mate it would be cause for celebration, but Koren never chimed in that that was what he wanted. Think back, it wasn’t.”

And he was right, but I didn’t want him to be. I still wanted to think of Koren as wanting Domin at least at one time.

“Koren’s always been like that, Jin. He’s different from Logan and Russ and Delphine; he’s never had any backbone at all. They all look alike, even her, but that’s as far as it goes.”

“You don’t like him.”

“No, I never did, but I didn’t start hating him until he was dicking Domin around, because while he was doing that, he was killing Yuri too.”

I stared at Mikhail and realized that we never talked, just him and me. I had really been missing out.

“But this time, Koren made it permanent. He finally cut deep enough to sever the bond between him and Domin.”

And I had felt that too.

“Domin’s finally over it. He grew his spine back, and for once I’m glad.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you see him that last night with Logan before we came here?”

I had, I just didn’t think anyone else did. “He seemed like he wasn’t bleeding over Koren anymore,” I whispered back.

He nodded.

“So maybe he can finally see Yuri.”

“God, I hope so,” Mikhail sighed softly. “I want it for him so fuckin’ bad.”

“You want what?”

“I want Yuri to get what he deserves.”

We were silent and heard the rustling, the movement, as two bodies that had been involved in something that resisted cold were finally at a stopping place and so were assaulted by the frigid air.

I held my breath, and so did Mikhail.

When it was quiet again, both of us lifted up because, shit, we had to look. We had to see.

Domin was on his side and Yuri was spooned around him, his face nuzzled into Domin’s hair, his bicep under the smaller man’s head. I watched Yuri’s nostrils flare, Domin’s scent causing him to sigh contently.

I sat back down at the same time Mikhail did.

“You know, you worrying about Yuri’s happiness—that’s kind of great.”

“It’s what you do for your friends.”

And when he turned and smiled at me, I fell in love with him just a little.

Chapter Fifteen

T
HE
trial of blood was vicious. Everything I thought it would be was wrong. I had pictured a sheseru in the center of the pit standing still using only his pheromones and willpower to basically calm the raging panthers that came at him one after another. From the texts, from everything I had ever read, that was my understanding.

What I sat and witnessed was simply an attack. The sheseru was put into the pit and eight panthers were released, and he used brute force to either wrestle them into submission, render them unconscious, or kill them. When I realized that all it was, was a brawl, I was thankful that Yuri had worked so hard, day and night, building up his stamina, his muscles, and his agility. It did not make it easier to watch.

The khatyu were all from the tribe of Rahotep, and I was thankful at least that these were men loyal to Ammon and not members of the tribe of Khertet. I didn’t like the idea of the host tribe losing members because of my household even if it was a trial. Normally any cats participating in a challenge where they attacked another were paid menat, or tribute, and this was passed to their families. So if Ammon’s men were killed, their families would be compensated. I hated the practice that seemed, in my opinion, a way for the semel in charge of the challenges to feel better about the fact that even if men were dying, their families would be cared for. And while I liked that, liked knowing that the tribe itself would care for its own and take responsibility, I understood that trials themselves were antiquated and, as Logan’s little brother was fond of saying, barbaric.

Watching Yuri fight for his life amidst snapping jaws and shredding claws, feeling the bloodlust that filled the pit, was brutal. I held my breath knowing that one slip, one wrong turn, a second of hesitation, indecision, would allow my sheseru to be slaughtered. I was nauseous watching it, but to look away, even for a second, would shame Yuri. My regard was as important as his defense of Logan and the display of his power so that others could see that the tribe of Mafdet had a fearsome sheseru.

When it was finally done, Yuri Kosa still stood, washed in blood, his and others’, but the important part was that he was on his feet. The second the priest called his challenge done, they released Logan into the pit with him. This was the final stage, to see if the shifted semel in his werepanther form would tear his bloody, bruised sheseru to shreds.

Logan flew over to Yuri, who slowly went to his knees, and when he was there, staring up at Logan Church, he simply waited for whatever came.

My mate slid a clawed hand down his sheseru’s throat, leaned in, inhaled the scent of blood and sweat, nuzzled the wet hair, and then turned away, looking for me. When he saw me, he called out, and the long painful roar was hard to listen to after the carnage I had just been forced to witness.

I wanted Yuri the hell out of there, I wanted Logan out of there, and I wanted us all on a plane flying home. When the priest proclaimed the trial concluded and Yuri victorious, I ran from the edge so I could throw up without anyone seeing.

It was Yuri’s trial first, and then the sheseru of the tribe of Nebthet, and then the sheseru of the tribe of Reshep. It would take all day.

A
S
IT
turned out, I was not the only one who was sick. People fled at different intervals, and some didn’t make it out in time.

The spectacle was ghastly, and no one was unaffected. When I was finally able to return to my quarters, dragging in after dark, numb and exhausted, still shaking, I found everyone there but Yuri and Domin.

“Where are they?” I asked Mikhail.

“Yuri had to shift and eat and drink, so Domin went with him once he had gorged on meat and drank more water than I even thought was possible.”

“You saw him, though? You sat with him?”

“I fed him,” he said, smiling at me. “And he’s sore and he needs to sleep and—”

“He’ll probably have nightmares for weeks,” I said, flopping down beside the stove. I was tired of being cold too. I just wanted to go home.

“Why would he have nightmares?” Mikhail seemed surprised.

“Because he was attacked by panthers,” I said like it was obvious.

“It was a trial, Jin, and Yuri can separate that in his head. He did what he did for Logan, for our tribe… for you. It’s over, and if he dreams about it at all, it won’t be the horror part, only the victory part.”

“You’re so sure.”

“Very. I’m very sure.”

I was silent for a few minutes. “So he went to shift?”

He looked at me. “That’s what he told everyone.”

“But they needed to be alone.”

“They took bedrolls, so the chances of you seeing your sheseru and your maahes before the morning are very slight,” Mikhail said with a chuckle. “Yuri is gonna do his damndest to make the man his before we go home. I’m sure he wishes this trip would never end.”

“And all I want it to be is over.”

“Agreed.” Mikhail sniffled, glancing around the room. “We’re all wrung out and ready to turn on each other.”

“Who wants hot chocolate?” Crane asked as he walked over to us, beaming, eyes glinting china blue in the low light.

“Most of us,” I said to Mikhail even as I smiled up at my best friend, accepting the steaming mug as my sylvan got dibs on the next one.

Andrian and Taj and Danny could not have been more appreciative of Crane Adams making it feel a little less like a nightmare we were living through and a lot more like home.

“I got my portable DVD player fired up to watch
The Hangover
, figured we could all use the laugh, ya know?”

So I sat there in a heap with the others, and they were all laughing as I used Crane’s thigh for a pillow and he stroked my hair as I passed out. It was the only good part of the whole shitty day.

C
HULUUN
had come looking for Yuri, and when Crane told him that he was not there, he smiled knowingly and trudged back the way he had come, toward the rock-carved home of his semel.

“Mikhail talked to me.”

I rolled my head on the pillow to look at Danny.

“You were right.”

“I didn’t need to be.”

“I know.”

“Hero worship is okay, and I get thinking Mikhail is amazing, because he is.”

He nodded. “I’ve just been so scared, Jin, and I’m grasping at everyone, Mikhail, Yuri, even Logan, to try and make me safe.”

“Well, that actually is your semel’s job, you know, to keep you safe.”

“But I’ve been so frantic to find a mate and thinking that if it couldn’t be Mikhail, then it should be Yuri, because he actually is gay—”

“Bi,” I corrected. “But since we both have eyes, you know as well as I do that the only thing Yuri really is, is into Domin.”

He grinned at me. “Yeah.”

“So what’s your plan now?”

“I have a lot of things I wanna do, and I think that I should do them before I think about finding a mate.”

“Like what?”

“Going to school, for one,” he said, smiling at me, “but I’m gonna need to talk to you and Logan about a loan so I can start.”

“College is a good plan,” I assured him. “And we can make that happen.”

“Thank you, Jin.”

“Of course. My father took so much time grooming you to be a sylvan that he forgot to let you live at all.”

He didn’t argue.

T
HE
following morning Mikhail and I were summoned alone to the pit when it was still dark out. Dval Quach came with some of his khatyu to summon us, and they were careful and quiet, which I didn’t like. The fact that it was almost like we were sneaking out made me wary. Why was it a secret that we were leaving?

When we reached the pit, I found that each sylvan was there with only the mate of their semel. I understood when I was stripped, along with Teresa and Yusuke, and secured to a saltire cross, that Mikhail’s answers were more important to me than I had originally thought. The semels were shackled to the wall in front of the cross so that I could see Logan and he could see me, but only he could see Mikhail. My sylvan stood behind me. Apparently the semel was to be able to see the face of their mate when they took a lick of the lash. It would not have been as frightening if not for the stipulation that went along with every test: there was no shifting in the pit. We were not allowed to heal the damage until the trial of law was concluded.

It was more frightening than I thought it would be, being spread-eagled on the cross, wrists and ankles immovable, waiting, anticipating the feel of the whip on my skin.

Once the trial officially began, before the first question was asked, the gallery was allowed in.

There were rules for the spectators. If they made a noise, they were dismissed. If they spoke to one another, they were dismissed. If the name of the mate was yelled out, or the sylvan, or the semel, they were dismissed. There was to be silence so that the questions could be heard, the person who answered quickly identified, and the crack of the whip audible.

What went through my mind was that it was like
Jeopardy
if it had been played back in Roman times with gladiators. Basically, the priest asked a question, and the mate of the semel of whichever sylvan answered first and correctly avoided the sting of the lash. The other two were flogged for their sylvans not being the one who answered. If the sylvan took a chance and answered wrong, the mate got two strikes instead of just one. I took a deep breath as I realized how long the day was going to be.

The sylvan had to yell out the name of their semel to be called on, and that, too, was designed to drive their leader right out of their mind. The mate took a lash, or didn’t, right after their semel’s name was called. I could only imagine the therapy we were all going to need once the sepat concluded.

The sylvan was allowed to speak to the mate of their leader before the trial began. When Mikhail walked around in front of me, I realized how pained he looked.

“Listen,” I told him. “There’s no way to avoid me getting hit. Even if you know all the answers, someone will get picked before you, and I’m gonna get hit. Remember that I can heal whatever damage I take, I’ve come back from more than this, Mikhail, you know I have. This trial is just like Yuri’s: it’s not about winning, it’s just about enduring. We just have to make it through until it concludes. That’s all.”