Authors: Ana Layne
“Hilary, can we talk about this, please?”
She ignores me and pulls her phone out of her purse. She rolls her eyes at the message, and I can’t help but glance over to see who it’s from. Travis—I should have known.
“Take me home. I’m done with this date, Lance. After all, I have a dick made of gold waiting for me.” She spits my words back in my face in a harsh tone.
“Are you serious? He texted you, so you’re ditching me to go fuck him?”
“What I do is my business, Lance. I’m not in high school anymore, I’m an adult. This was a date, and I said I’m done, so please bring me home.”
“I really don’t get you. I could make you feel a million times better than he ever could, and you’d never have to worry about me running around behind your back. Just get to know me better.”
She turns her head to stare out the window. I take that as my cue to begin the drive back to her house.
“Maybe you could,” she says. “But now we’ll never know.”
The ride back to her house is quiet. Guilt washes over me. I’m infuriated with myself and my actions. I finally got the one thing I want, and I already let her slip away from me. She was able to forgive me once, but I don’t think she’ll be able to do it a second time. When we arrive, I start to unbuckle my seatbelt.
“Don’t, Lance. I can get out on my own. Uh, thanks…I guess. I’ll see you around.”
“Don’t go see him, Hilary. Please, just talk to me.”
“Bye, Lance.” She gets out, and hurries toward her car.
As I drive off, I see her speed away in the opposite direction.
Fuck this night. It can go to hell.
“Are you focused, Lance?” Howard asks me for the fifth time. I finally snap out of my thoughts and look up at him.
“Yeah, I am.”
“You’re up in a few. Did you even hear Blaize say your name?”
I’m not focused at all. I hear nothing going on around me, even though Garrett is in the ring right now fighting against Marcus Miller. Raegan and Whitney are ringside, cheering him on with every jab he throws. I’m stuck wondering whether or not Hilary was fucking with my head when she said she was got into her car. Did she go back to Travis? The crowd erupts into cheers as Garrett knocks Marcus to the ground. Marcus struggles to stay in the fight, but taps out, causing the crowd to cheer louder.
“You’re up. Get ready, and get your damn head out of your ass,” Howard yells as he throws my gloves to me.
I catch them and pull them on. Blaize’s voice fills the room as he booms, “What a hell of a match! I hope you’re ready for our next event, Lance Borel against Drake Newman.”
Again, the crowd erupts. Some chant my name, others chant Drake’s. I’ve never fought against him before, but I’ve seen him and when he’s on top of his game, he is a beast. Little does he know, I have so much pent-up aggression just begging to come out.
I think of how I tried to text Hilary at least half a dozen times, groveling like a lovesick puppy, but she never answered.
Drake makes his way to the ring, his confidence spilling over. His cheesy grin says it all. He’s badass and he knows it. He thinks he has this match in the bag.
When Blaize calls my name, I begin to bounce on the balls of my feet. This is it; I’ve got this. My grin is about as wide as Drake’s, and we lock eyes. He zeroes in on me and his grin becomes more malicious.
Bring it on, motherfucker.
We shake hands as Blaize rattles off the rules. I could quote those things on any given night, but tonight my brain is going nonstop and my thoughts have absolutely nothing to do with this match.
Drake swings first, catching me completely off guard. The sweet, metallic taste of blood fills my mouth and I shake my head, aggravated. He attempts another hit, but fortunately my brain reacts, telling my hands to do their damn job. Drake sees that I’m struggling internally with something, and he’s manipulating it to his advantage. I’m not myself tonight. I was geared up, ready for one hell of a match. Ready to take my aggression out. Something has changed.
My stare leaves Drake for a split second, scanning the crowd of people who are wondering the same thing I am. Where is the Lance who kicks ass? Sweat beads profusely along my forehead and begins to stream steadily down my face. The bright lights seem to be playing tricks on me. A mere few feet from the ring stands Hilary and that dickwad Travis. His cocky smirk pisses me off, and causes me to almost forget that I’m in the middle of a fight—a fight that I’m losing.
I turn back to Drake in time to block yet another blow, and something finally snaps in my head. No way in hell am I losing this fight. My feet shuffle beneath me as I prepare to throw a hook. About damn time that I catch him off guard, and the crowd goes wild. I wish I could see the smirk of satisfaction disappear from Travis’s face right now, but I have to finish this.
The odds begin to work in my favor as I feel myself come alive. My heart is pounding, the blood is steadily flowing through my veins, shooting straight adrenaline through me. Drake has his hands up, expecting another hook, but instead I sweep his legs from under him taking him down to the mat. The crowd continues to roar. They seem thrilled I finally came to my damn senses. Drake struggles to find a way back into this fight, but exhaustion is taking over him. When he taps out, relief washes over me. For a moment, I wasn’t sure I would be able to beat him.
Blaize jumps in the ring and throws my hand up as the crowd begins to chant my name. I’m exhausted, and the sweat continues to pour down my face but I can’t help but smirk.
You hear that, Hilary? They’re chanting my name.
Blaize drops my hand and I immediately turn to where I saw her moments before, but there are no signs of either of them. I’m sure he dragged her out not long after we made eye contact. Did she even like seeing me, or was it torture for her? All I know is seeing her was the most incredible blend of pleasure and pain. Pleasure because she’s all I think about, but pain because she may never speak to me again.
I make my exit from the ring, slapping hands with some fans. I love the interaction with them. I nearly live for that as much as I do the fighting. They are part of what pushes me to become better than I already am.
Howard looks disappointed. He knows I was struggling in a fight that should have been easy. I don’t want to hear him bitch though, because I won. That’s all that should matter.
He doesn’t say a word, but Whitney speaks up. “I was beginning to wonder what the hell was happening to you in there.”
“Hilary was here, wasn’t she?” Raegan asks. She popped up seemingly out of nowhere. I didn’t even think she was here tonight.
Howard’s eyes widen, and his stare has me wanting to cower in a corner. Raegan and her big mouth are going to get me in trouble.
“Not that I know of,” I tell her.
“I saw her and Travis here,” she says, ruining my cover. “He fucking glared at me like I’m supposed to be scared of him.”
“Well, I didn’t see her,” I lie. “I’m over that, anyway. She was nothing more than a distraction. Nothing that I want or need right now.” In reality, seeing her evoked emotions I’ve been trying to keep in check since last night. Emotions I may as well bury since I ruined everything.
“Oh,” Raegan says, a little disappointed. Either she’s actually believing me, or she’s decided not to push the subject.
“Where’s Garrett?” I ask.
“He went to get his truck and bring it closer for me. We had to park in the back.”
“Well, isn’t he a knight in shining armor?” I smirk. “Or is it tin foil?”
Raegan bursts into laughter. “You’re stupid, Lance.”
I cock my head to the side. “This is why ya’ll love me. Are you ready to go? I’ll walk you outside to meet Garrett.”
“Sure,” she says, turning to tell Whitney and Howard goodbye. Howard isn’t looking so pissed anymore, thanks to my lie. As Raegan and I make our way outside, she says, “You saw her, didn’t you?”
“Yes, Mommy. Am I still allowed to play when I get home since I’ve been a bad boy?”
“Go find your girls at Joe’s. I bet they’ll let you play.”
She knows me all too well, but I’m not going anywhere but home. The warm air hits me in the face, almost sucking the breath from my body. Garrett climbs out of his truck and just grins at me as he makes his way toward Raegan. “You almost choked tonight, man. You had me worried.”
“Yeah, you aren’t the only one,” I mutter.
He wraps his arm around Raegan’s waist as he pulls her in for a kiss. Love, who the fuck needs it? They do, but I don’t.
“You’re a damn joke in the ring.” I hear a gloating voice behind me. My vision turns red and I don’t have to even face him to know who it is.
“Shut the fuck up, Travis,” Garrett says, right after he gives Raegan a look telling her to get in the truck. With her being pregnant, her safety is top priority.
“I see you’re finally keeping your bitch in check, Johnson.”
Raegan’s head spins around and she glares at him. Garrett gives her a stern look and she huffs before climbing into the truck and slamming the door behind her.
“Don’t you have something better to do, Travis?” I ask, stepping closer to him. “Didn’t you learn your lesson the other day?”
He balls his fists up against his sides, and the vein in his neck expands. “I have a real problem with you, asshole. You don’t know how to stay away, do you? It just kills you to know she was screaming my name last night, doesn’t it?”
His smirk says it all. He’s pushing my buttons and he’s doing it well. He reaches over and shoves my chest. Just as I’m swinging my fist toward his face, Garrett grabs hold of my arm to stop me. But I don’t give a shit about anything anymore.
“He wants you pissed, Lance,” Garrett says. “Just walk away. Let it go, man.”
“Yeah, Lance,” Travis shouts. “Run along like the pussy you are.”
Fucking prick. I rip my arm away from Garrett and connect my fist with Travis’s jaw. He stumbles back and shakes his head as if he’s trying to decipher what just happened. He should know, because he asked for it. Garrett jumps between us, trying to keep us apart. If he wasn’t my best friend, I’d push him the hell out of the way. I want to finish this—right here, right now.
“What the hell is going on out here?” Howard’s voice booms behind me, and my stomach turns. “Dammit,” he shouts. “I can’t trust you idiots to do anything right, can I? Get the hell out of here, Travis, before I call Mike and tell him what’s going on.”
Travis glares at Howard, almost challenging him. This guy is seriously stupid. “Whatever, I’m done with this bullshit anyway,” he mumbles, turning. I scramble forward in a weak attempt to attack him again, but Howard grabs my arm, yanking me back to reality.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing? We just had this talk, Lance. It’s bad enough you got in a bar fight, but now you’re fighting outside
after
a fight? I know things are tough for you, but you have to get a handle on things. I’ve already warned you, and you didn’t keep your word.” He pauses, as if he isn’t certain he should continue. “I’m suspending you from the gym until I see an improvement.”
His words slice me wide open. “Suspended? You’re joking, right?”
“Do I look like I’m joking? Again, you put yourself and Garrett in a situation that could have ended badly for both of you. I’m not putting up with it.”
Garrett doesn’t say a word because he knows better. I don’t shut up, because I never know when to stop. Even as I speak, I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help myself. “You don’t need to suspend me, Howard, because I quit. I’m done with all of this. I don’t need you, and I don’t need the gym.”
“Have it your way. I really expected better of you, Lance, and you let me down.”
“Join the club. I give my all in that ring. I give my all to people who don’t give a shit about me.” Fury almost makes me tremble as I turn away, brushing past Garrett on my way to my truck. I slam the door closed and turn my key in the ignition. In my rearview mirror, I see Garrett talking to Howard. They both look disappointed. He turns to look at my truck, as if thinking I’ll climb out, maybe rethink things, but I throw it into drive and leave them behind.
The entire conversation plays over and over in my head. I just quit the one thing that really kept me going, the one thing that kept me sane. I drive past Joe’s on my way home and almost stop, but that is the last place I need to be right now. These past few days have been so screwed up, I just want to go home and try to sleep the memories away.
Dad’s truck is parked in the driveway, and I groan at the thought of having to explain all of this to him. I just know the minute he asks how my evening was, it’s all going to come spilling out. He’s been dealing with enough lately. As I turn the doorknob, I take in a deep breath. Walking inside the house still hasn’t gotten any easier. Dad is sitting in the living room flipping through the channels on the television. He turns when he hears my footsteps.
“Hey, son, how was your fight?” My dad has always cared about me and my career. When I first began fighting, he didn’t agree with it, but that never stopped him from showing genuine concern and respect for my choices.
I flop on the couch and let out a sigh. “It was my last fight.” The words sting and make my throat dry.
He sets the remote down on the coffee table and turns to face me. “What do you mean by that?”
I run my hands through my hair, closing my eyes. “I, uh…I quit. I’m tired of it. It’s not for me anymore.”
“Lance, I know you better than that. You’ve been attached to that gym since the day you found it. That’s your life.”
“Well, that part of my life is over, Dad. It’s time for me to move on.”
“Anything you want to talk about?” he asks. When Mom first got sick, Dad adopted a larger role than he was used to. He was forced to assume the role of the caring mother more than once. I can’t be irritated with him for that. He’s the only parent I have left.
“I screwed things up,” I admit, my voice low. “I let some asshole get to me, and I got into a fight with him twice in the past few days. He started running his mouth this evening after the fights, and I couldn’t hold myself back. Not even Garrett could hold me back. Howard came outside and saw it all. He suspended me. And then I quit.”
Dad’s eyes widen a little as he searches for the right words. “What was this guy’s issue?”
“I met this girl a while back and hadn’t seen her in forever, actually since high school. I ran into her a few days back, and apparently she’s with this guy. She left him, though, and I took her out on a date last night.” Dad’s curiosity has piqued, and he’s listening intently. He knows I don’t date. “I screwed it up,” I continue. “I couldn’t keep my damn mouth shut, and she left and went to meet
him.
They were at the fights tonight. I almost fucking lost because of them, but instead of losing the match, I lost it all.”