Hope Chest (14 page)

“I miss Anna a lot.”

“Me, too.” Rachel felt sick at heart because she couldn’t visit her sister. How could she explain all this to Elizabeth when she couldn’t make sense of it herself? She knew if they went to Lancaster to see Anna without telling Dad and he found out about it, he’d be furious. Besides, that would be a sneaky thing to do, and there’d already been enough sneaking going on in their family lately, which she knew wasn’t right. And what if Elizabeth took a liking to the modern way Anna was living and decided to seek after worldly things herself? It might be better for everyone if they visited with Anna at their own place, not hers. Of course, Dad might have some things to say about Anna coming to visit them right now, too.

In all of Rachel’s eighteen years, she couldn’t remember ever seeing her father so angry and determined to make one of his children pay for a decision that went against his will.
Of course,
she reasoned,
Dad might be acting so perturbed because he’s upset that Anna’s leaving has put us all in a position where we have to shun our own flesh and blood.

“Your table is ready now,” a young Mennonite waitress said as they returned to the restaurant’s waiting area.

Rachel smiled, glad for the diversion. Maybe after they were seated, Elizabeth’s mind would be on filling her empty stomach and not on Anna. Might could be that the discussion would be dropped altogether, and they could eat a quiet, peaceful lunch.

Much to Rachel’s chagrin, no sooner had they taken a seat at the table and placed their orders, than the questions began again.

“Are Mom and Dad really mad at Anna?” Elizabeth blinked several times. “They never talk about her anymore.”

Rachel drew in a deep breath and offered up a silent prayer. She needed God’s wisdom just now, for sure as anything she didn’t want to make things worse by telling her sensitive, young sister something that might upset her even more.

“It’s like this,” she began, carefully choosing her words. “I’m sure the folks still love Anna very much, but they also love being Amish. They believe in the Ordnung and want to abide by the rules of our church.”

Elizabeth nodded soberly. “I’ve tried talking about Anna several times, but Dad always says it would be best if I’d forget I ever had her as an older sister. How can I do that, Rachel? Anna’s still my big sister, ain’t it so?”

Rachel was tempted to correct the girl’s English but decided it would be best not to make an issue of it right now. She reached across the table and gently touched Elizabeth’s hand. “Of course she’s still your sister, and nothing will ever change that. As I’ve told you before, Anna’s moved away now, and she wants to live like the English.”

Elizabeth’s lower lip trembled. “She really don’t want to be Amish no more?”

“I’m afraid not. But we can surely pray that someday she and Reuben will change their minds and be willing to reconcile with the church.” Hot tears stung the backs of Rachel’s eyes. Today had started off well enough, but after seeing Silas, talking about Anna with him, and now trying to make Elizabeth understand how things were, she felt all done in. She had no answers. Not for Silas, not for Elizabeth, and not for herself. As far as Rachel was concerned, her life would never be the same.

She lifted her water glass and took a sip. If only she could get Silas to take notice of her now that Anna was out of his life. She was here; Anna wasn’t. If only God would make Silas love her and not her older sister, who was now out of his reach.

As she set the glass back down, a little voice in Rachel’s head reminded her that God never forced a person to love anyone—not even Him. If Silas was ever going to get over losing Anna, it would have to be because
he
chose to do so, not because of anything Rachel might say or do.

I can still hope, though.
Rachel was reminded of what the Bible said in Psalm 71:14:
“But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more.”
She would definitely continue to hope.

CHAPTER 12

One evening, Rachel’s family went out the front porch to sit awhile because it was still too hot inside the house to go to bed. Mom was in her wheelchair, mending one of Joseph’s shirts. Dad sat beside her in the rocker, reading the Amish newspaper,
The Budget.
Joseph and Perry sat on the steps, playing a game, and Rachel shared the porch swing with Elizabeth. It was a quiet, peaceful night, in spite of the sweltering August heat.

Rachel mechanically pumped her legs as she gazed out at the fireflies rising from the grass like a host of twinkling lights. An owl hooted from a nearby tree, the gas lantern hanging nearby purred, and the sun dipped slowly below the horizon, transforming the sky into a hazy pink. If not for the fact that Rachel still missed Anna so much and had been forced to take her place in the greenhouse several hours a day, she would have felt a sense of contentment as she soaked up God’s handiwork.

Of course, I’ve lost Silas, too,
she reminded herself. Ever since Anna and Reuben had left, Rachel sensed that Silas was mourning his loss. She’d seen him at preaching services several times, and no matter how hard she tried to be friendly, he remained aloof. Maybe she should give up the hope of him ever seeing her as a woman he could love. “It’s just a silly dream,” she murmured.

“What’d you say?” Elizabeth nudged Rachel with her elbow.

Rachel’s face heated up. “Nothing. I was only thinking out loud.”

“Daydreaming is probably more like it,” Joseph said with a chuckle. “I’ve never known anyone who could stare off into space the way you do and see nothing at all. A daydreaming little tomboy, that’s what you are.”

Rachel grimaced. Was Joseph looking for an argument tonight? Maybe he’d had a rough day out in the fields. Could be that Perry had been goofing around and hadn’t helped enough. Or the hot weather might be all that was making her big brother a bit cross.

“If you ever plan on any man marrying you, then you’d better turn in your fishing pole for a broom.” Joseph shook his head. “A grown woman isn’t supposed to climb trees, splash around in the river like a fish, and stand around for hours gawking at dumb birds.”

Rachel folded her arms and squinted at Joseph. “I refuse to let you ruffle my feathers.”

He snickered. “Aw, I wasn’t trying to upset you. I was just funnin’ with you, that’s all. We need some fun around here, wouldn’t you say?”

Rachel shrugged. “I thought maybe you were
gridlich
because you’d had a rough day.”

“I think we’re all a bit cranky,” Dad spoke up. “A few more sweltering days like this, and everything in the garden will dry up, like as not.”

Mom nodded. “I’ve had to water things in the greenhouse a lot more than usual, too.”

“Everyone has their share of troubles,” Perry put in. “Did ya hear about Herman’s Katie breakin’ her arm?”

Rachel’s ears perked right up. “Silas’s mamm?”

Perry nodded. “Jah. Heard it from her son Sam this morning when we went fishin’ at the pond near Swartleys’ place.”

“When did this happen?” Mom questioned. “And how?” “Sometime yesterday. Sam said she fell down the cellar stairs.”

Mom clicked her tongue. “Ach, poor Katie. How’s she going to manage all her chores with only one good arm?”

“Guess her boys will have to chip in and help out more,” Dad commented. “It’s a downright shame she doesn’t have any girls.”

“I could give her a hand,” Rachel volunteered, trying to keep the excitement she felt over the idea out of her voice. She did feel bad about Katie’s arm, and she really did want to help, but the main reason she’d suggested it was because she thought if she went over there every day, it would give her a chance to see Silas.

“You helping Katie out is a nice thought,” Dad said, “but you’re needed here, especially in the greenhouse. August is a busy time, what with so many tourists coming by and all. I’m helping Joseph and Perry in the fields part of each day now, and we sure can’t expect your mamm to handle things in the greenhouse all by herself.”

“I used to manage pretty well when I was a young woman,” Mom said with a wistful sigh. “Guess those days are well behind me now, because I get all done in if I try to do too much on my own anymore.”

“How ’bout me?” Elizabeth chimed in. “I like flowers. Can’t I help in the greenhouse?”

Mom looked over at Elizabeth and smiled. “I appreciate the offer, but I need someone at the house to keep things running and get the noon meal fixed for the menfolk.”

Joseph turned to face his mother. “Say, I’ve got an idea.”

“What might that be?”

“Why don’t you ask Pauline Hostetler to help out with the greenhouse? I know for a fact that she loves flowers.”

“And how would you be knowin’ that?” Dad gave Joseph a quick wink.

His face turned beet red, and he started squirming a bit but gave no reply.

“Joseph’s sweet on Pauline.” Perry chuckled. “I saw him talkin’ to her at the last preaching service.”

Rachel couldn’t believe her bashful brother had finally taken the initiative with Pauline. She thought this bit of news might be beneficial to her, as well. She jumped off the swing and raced over to her mother’s wheelchair. “I really would like to help out at the Swartleys’. If Pauline agrees to work at the greenhouse, I’d even be willing to pay her with some of the money I’ve made this summer.”

Mom’s eyebrows drew together. “Now why would you do something like that? It’s your daed and I who should pay any hired help, not you, Rachel.”

Rachel shifted from one foot to the other. If she weren’t careful, she would end up giving away her plans to win Silas. “I—I just thought, since you’d have to pay someone to take my place, I’d be obliged to help with their wages.”

Mom smiled. “That’s very generous of you, Rachel, but it won’t be necessary.”

“I can help Katie Swartley then?”

“If it’s okay with your daed, then it’s fine by me,” Mom said with a nod.

“Won’t bother me none, as long as Pauline agrees to the terms.” Dad looked over at Joseph, who seemed to be studying the checkerboard hard. “Son, since this was your idea, I think you should drive over to the Hostetlers’ place tomorrow morning and ask Pauline if she’d like to work in the greenhouse for a few weeks.”

Joseph’s face turned a deep shade of red, but he nodded, and his lips turned up slightly. “Sure, I guess I can do that.”

Rachel smiled, too. If things went well, by tomorrow afternoon she might be on her way to winning Silas’s heart.

***

Anna released a sigh as she flipped off the air-conditioning unit in their apartment and took a seat on the sofa. It was too hot without it but too cold whenever it was left on for more than an hour. Oh, how she wished they had a big porch to sit on during the warm, humid days of summer, or even a few shade trees would help. But no, they were stuck in this dinky apartment with only a couple of windows, and nothing but the sidewalk and the street next to it to look at. She longed for a view of the river, like the one not far from her folks’ house. She missed the cows grazing in their pasture, the beautiful flowers growing in her mother’s garden, the fresh produce she could pick at will, and she missed her family most of all.

The sharp ringing of the telephone caused Anna to jump. She hurried across the room to the small table where it sat and picked up the receiver. “Hello.”

“Hi, Anna, it’s me. Just wanted you to know that I’ll be working later than I thought.”

She glanced at the small clock sitting beside the phone. It was already seven, and Reuben should have been home an hour ago. “How come you have to work longer?”

“My boss got the job of painting a couple of rooms at his dentist’s office. Dr. Carmen would like to have it done right away, but the only time we can work on the place is when he doesn’t have patients. So we’ll be starting it this evening and will work through the night if need be.”

Anna grimaced, and a trickle of sweat rolled down her forehead. How was she going to endure this long, hot night without Reuben? How could she tell him that it was okay if he worked late again without letting the disappointment in her voice show?

“You still there, Anna?”

She shifted the phone to her other ear. “I’m here.”

“Well, don’t wait up for me, because like I said before, I could be pretty late.”

“Okay. See you in the morning, then.”

Anna hung up the phone and shuffled over to the window, feeling as if she bore the weight of the world on her shoulders. During the time she and Reuben had been secretly courting, she’d felt such a sense of excitement and looked forward to the future with him. Now, every day seemed monotonous and dreary—especially those days when Reuben worked late or didn’t feel like visiting with her. All he seemed to care about when he came home from work was watching the television he’d recently purchased or sleeping in his lounge chair.

Oh, how she wished they could return to their old way of life, but whenever she mentioned the idea, Reuben got angry. She knew it would only drive a wedge between them if she continued to pressure him to go back home and join the Amish church. The best thing to do was quit pining for her old life and try to focus on her new life with Reuben in the English world.