Hope for Him (Hope Series Book #2) (3 page)

Not wanting him to give me any more reasons or time to escape, I turned around, reached under his t-shirt and pushed it over his head. I pushed him on his back and straddled him, eyeing his bare chest. I leaned over to kiss his lips as I ran my hands down his abs. The man was beautiful.

I wasn't aware he had removed my shirt until the air hit my bare skin and I shivered. He sat us upright and he wrapped his arms around me tight and found my lips. He undid my bra as his kiss became softer. He moved his hands over my breasts and caressed them. I pulled back and watched his mouth as his breath grew heavy. I felt him harden under me.

"I want to see you," I said.

He kissed me again and then lay back down. His hands gripped my thighs as I undid his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. His boxer briefs sat low and they did little to hide what was underneath the fabric. I touched him; my fingers grazed him through the fabric.

"Oh, that fells so good."

I bit my lip to stifle a laugh. I reached in his underwear and wrapped my hand around him. His moan vibrated up my arm and in my chest.

I leaned over and kissed him with more passion than I remember having with anyone. I wanted to show him how much I appreciated him, how much I wanted him. And I had no doubt, he wanted me.

He took in a deep breath as I squeezed harder.

"Is that okay?" I asked.

"Oh, so okay." He blew out a deep breath and sat up. "I want to see you, too."

I let go of him and stood up at the end of the bed and took off my shorts and panties. I stood in front of him as his eyes roamed over my body. He removed his pants and underwear and sat on the end of the bed.

"Come here." He reached out for me. A lump formed in the back of my throat.

Dammit, this is not the time to get emotional.

I cleared my throat. "You have a condom."

He reached down for his jeans and pulled one out of his wallet.

I leaned over to kiss him as he put it on. He pulled me onto his lap, and he felt so good against me as he ran his hands down my back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed into him.

I adjusted my hips, and he entered me.

I closed my eyes and all the heavy thoughts and feelings evaporated. I concentrated on the way he moved inside of me. The way his rough hands caressed my soft skin, the way his lips felt against mine. I didn't want to think about anything else, including what would happen tomorrow.

Then I opened my eyes and stared into his. Big mistake.

Who am I kidding?

No way around it, I loved Jackson Mitchell, and of course, it mattered. It meant everything, but neither of us was ready to admit it ... yet.

J
ackson Latre Mitchell

I lifted my head and waited for my eyes to adjust to the dark room. I smiled as Carrington mumbled in her sleep. Her ramblings had woken me up. Her ass pressed up against me felt amazing. I ran my hand down her side, careful not to wake her up.

Last night, we had incredible sex. Beyond what I imagined, and I have a pretty active imagination in regards to Carrington. I should be on top of the world.

I leaned down and kissed her ear and whispered, "Carrington."

"Um, what?"

"Hey, it’s five. We need to get up. My flight leaves in an hour and a half."

"No, take a later flight."

"I can't. I have an exam at two pm."

She groaned and pressed into me further as she stretched.

She reached behind her and grabbed me. "Hello," she said as she wrapped her hand around me and squeezed. I groaned and tried to remember what time the later flight left. I would do anything she asked as long as she continued to touch me.

"We still have time." She let go of me and reached over to my wallet on the nightstand, fishing out another condom, and handed it to me.

I rolled the condom on and slid into her from behind. She must have had sexy dreams. She was so ready for me. I moaned as I slid further into her.

"Oh, Jackson."

I bit her neck trying to clear my mind. I wanted to hear her scream my name again. I wanted to make her feel good. Hearing her moan my name brought chills down my back. I squeezed her breast, and she moaned and grabbed my hand. She moved against me and we finished way sooner than I wanted to.

I sighed, reached up to turn her face to me and kissed her until my phone beeped. I groaned in disappointment as I rolled away and headed into the bathroom for a quick shower. I never seemed to get what I wanted when it came to this woman.

We rode to the airport in silence. She drove and I stared out the window and dreaded another goodbye. We'd done it so much in the last year, we were good at it. When I saw the airport entrance, I took her hand, kissed it, and placed it in my lap. I wanted to say something cool and profound. Something that would push every doubt, insecurity, and mixed-up feeling I had out of my fucking head.

Man, I sound like a pussy.

I didn't want to get into anything heavy, I wanted clean and uncomplicated. We didn't need to rehash what happened last night, the way she felt about it, or whether it was special or not. I knew it was special, but did she, and how special?

Who am I kidding?

No way around it, this was complicated.

When we were together last night, it wasn't messy or weird or complicated. We fit together perfectly. I knew we both felt it. I saw it in her eyes, but we were both too chicken shit to admit it.

We passed through the airport gate and panic rose in my throat. My mind raced over things to say, but nothing came to mind because nothing had changed.

We lived so far apart. With her in Texas and me in Florida, we would never see each other, at least not during the season. After the season, I would graduate and then prepare for the NFL draft. After that, who knew where I'd end up?

I had run down the list a million times before. Bottom line, we couldn't be together. A year had passed since Josh and the attack, and we were better, but we weren't over it and we never talked about it.

It was better this way. I needed to keep my focus on campus. 

We pulled up to the curb at the airport.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah." She leaned over and kissed me, her fingers wrapped around my bicep and pulled me closer. I kissed her harder, tasted her tongue and conjured images of her last night and this morning, but the kissed ended and it felt so final.

"Thanks for last night," Carrington said.

"Thank you."

"It was pretty great, right?" she asked.

"Only slightly better than this morning."

She lowered her eyes and smiled. Why did she hide from me? I sighed and lifted her chin. I studied her face for any sign things had changed for her. I didn't see anything. It pissed me off. I sighed and rubbed her cheek with my thumb. Her soft skin made me smile. 

"Call me when you get in."

"I will." I leaned over and placed a quick kiss on her cheek and got out of the car.

"Jackson."

Oh shit.

This was it. This would be the moment where she would say what we were both afraid to say, and it would be on. Despite my list of excuses, I would throw it all away if she told me she wanted me.

She hesitated and I knelt back in the car. My hand snaked behind her neck, and I kissed her. She moaned as my tongue touched hers, and she deepened the kiss, grabbing a fist full of my t-shirt and pulling me closer. I landed three more quick kisses before I pulled back.

She lowered her head and kind of pushed me away.

She didn't say anything right away.

"Good luck on your exams."

"Thanks." I closed the door and stood on the curb for a minute to gather my thoughts. Before I could think of doing something, she pulled away from the curb. I watched her car until she turned out of the terminal.

I headed into the airport.

When I went through security, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dropped it in the tray. A missed call illuminated my phone.

I gathered it on the other end, read the caller ID, and groaned.

It's way too early for this.

True to form, she called right back.

"Hello."

"Jackson," Tiffany said.

"What's up?"

"I wanted to make sure you made your flight. You have an exam this afternoon, right? Did you get to study for it?" I pulled the phone away from my ear and cringed at the sound of her high-pitched singsong voice. 

"I'm at the airport."

I met Tiffany Chandler a couple of months ago and because I only slept with her, she was under the distinct impression she was my girlfriend. I just never bothered to correct that assumption.

Before I left, Tiffany had picked fights with me all week, asking questions and making comments about Carrington and Jack. She didn't understand our relationship. I never fully explained it to her. I blew up at her and ignored her calls and texts for two days. Perhaps, now she understood some things were off-limits. Sometimes she wasn't too bright.

"You're not still mad at me?"

"No." I felt nothing for her. I was mad at myself.

"How's Carrington ...and little Jackson?"

"Tiff, my flight’s boarding. I'll talk to you when I get home."

"Oh, okay," she said, her voice low and throaty.

"I'll call you when I get back to campus."

I shut the phone off and headed to my gate.

I know. I'm a dick. 

The empty gate added to my irritation. It gave me the opportunity to think, and I didn't want to think. I took a seat facing the window and watched as the plane pulled up. I enjoyed flying, but this flight made me nauseous.

I didn't want to get on the plane. I wanted to run out of the terminal, jump in a cab, find Carrington, and take her back to bed. I wanted to rewind our lives. Back before Josh and the attack. I wanted another chance to ask her out the day we met in the library.

I wanted Carrington.

I stood up when the attendant called for the passengers to board. I hesitated for a minute, looking for any excuse not to get on the plane, but nothing came to me. I willed myself to take one step, and then another, until I made it down the walkway and onto the plane. I found my seat and settled in. I turned my phone back on; maybe Carrington left me a message. When my phone beeped, my heart rate increased. I unlocked the phone and stifled a groan of disappointment. Tiffany had sent me a naked photo of the side of her ass. It paled in comparison to Carrington's epic ass. I deleted it.

I needed to break up with this girl.

#

I
saw her yellow VW bug parked in my space as soon as I turned the corner on my street. When I had returned to school after summer break, I had moved out of the fraternity house into my own apartment. I didn't feel right at the house. I avoided the place as much as I could. The brothers understood—they knew what Josh meant to me. They ended up turning Josh's old room into a gym.

"Fuck." I didn't want to deal with this. I had an exam in three hours and needed to catch up on some sleep. I felt bad about last night. I never claimed Tiffany as my girlfriend, but I knew her assumptions were based on my behavior. 

I sat in my car for a minute, but I caught her peeking through the window near the door, and it was too late for me to run away.

I had to go in. The longer I stayed in the car, the more hassle I had to endure. I suddenly regretted giving her a key. 

I had made it as far as the porch before I had to stop and take a breath. I counted to three, exhaled ... inhaled and exhaled again. I lowered my head and walked in the door.

My eyes trailed up her body. No, let me correct myself, my eyes traveled up her naked body.

Tiffany sat on the stairs inside my apartment—legs spread, turning a football over in her hands. She cocked her head and smiled as if posing for a photo shoot for
Playboy
, the babes of college edition. As she passed the football back and forth between her hands, I caught glimpses of her creamy white skin, her beautiful tits, and other parts of her I wanted to get close to. She had an amazing body, classic features. The girl was hot.

I hated myself, but I couldn't help it. I wanted her.

She sat up straight with confidence, so sure of herself. She tossed me the ball, and I caught it and dropped it and the rest of my stuff, attacking her on the stairs.

She tried to speak, but I shut her up with my lips.

If she spoke, if she said one thing wrong, it would turn me off, and I needed to screw away some stress. Relieve the tension.

I finished quicker than expected, but from the satisfied look on her face, she got off, too.

I pushed myself off of her and ignored the rug burns on my knee. I pulled up my pants, grabbed my discarded shirt and the rest of my stuff, and walked over her to get to the second floor of my apartment.

She followed me into my bedroom.

"How was your flight?" she asked as she pulled one of my t-shirts out of my drawer and put it on. I wanted to tell her not to wear my clothes, but it would have hurt her feelings, and I had just used her for meaningless sex in the stairwell. I could sacrifice a t-shirt.

"It was fine." I put my stuff away. I placed my computer on my desk and turned it on, hoping she would get the hint.  I needed to study. I also needed a shower. I smelled like the lilac perfume she doused herself in.

"Did little Jack like his present?"

"Yeah." I smiled. Jack adored his singing Seminole Indian.

Tiffany walked up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. I wished I had put my shirt back on. I felt her tits beneath the thin shirt rub up against me and lusty thoughts flooded my head again.

"I missed you."

"Me, too."

I relented and hugged her. Rubbed my hands down her back and squeezed her ass.

She giggled like a little girl.

"Tiff, I really need to study."

"Okay." She rested her chin on my shoulder, wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me.

Tiffany stood six foot tall. Her height was the first thing I noticed about her.

She transferred to FSU from Tennessee at the beginning of spring semester. We met at a party, and she pursued me. We slept together the first night, and I figured that was it, but a week later, we had dinner and sex. A few days later, we ran into each other in the Student Union and had lunch. By April, we spent most nights together.