Hot Dates 2: Living as a Shared Wife (20 page)

Jana stared at me and I could see she was trying to grasp everything I’d told her. I know it sounded impossible, especially coming from someone like me. She drained her Cosmo and set it back on the table.

I’d just told her everything. Well, not everything. I gave her the basic outline of what Dave and I had been doing for the past months—almost a year. I couldn’t believe it had been that long when I looked back. It had flown by. I had explained to her just what a hot wife was and I told her about some of my exploits—the first times we went out, some of the sad failed dates, and of course I told her about Zach. Zach was the man who changed the game. I did tell her about Carlos, but that was highly edited. The coke and the orgy were left out.

“I’m just not sure I understand what Dave gets out of this,” Jana said. “I get why it’s awesome for you, but why is he content for you to go out and screw whoever you please?”

“He’s not just content, he wants me to. I told you, this was all his idea. I reacted like you at first. It didn’t make sense to me.”

“And he likes you doing it? He gets off on it?”

“Yes. He loves watching me with other men.”

“This is really a thing? He didn’t make this up? I know there are voyeurs out there, but this is a little weird, right?”

“I can see where you would think that. It is a thing, but I don’t think it’s a common thing. You can look it up on the internet. Some guys don’t even watch. They just send their wives out to get laid and then get off on hearing about it and having sex with her when she comes back.”

Jana held up a hand. “Okay, that’s enough.” She signaled for the waitress to bring her another drink. I was still working on my first glass of wine. I didn’t want to get drunk on a Saturday afternoon. We were in a little bistro downtown, in a booth in a back corner for some privacy. Jana was meeting her mother-in-law to go to a show afterward, and I was going to do a little shopping and drive home.

“I guess I can see watching, if that’s really your thing, but I really don’t get a guy just sending his wife out.”

“I don’t really either, but hey, whatever floats your boat. I did a bunch of reading on the internet when we first started, but most of it was guided by Dave. I know there are other guys who want to be humiliated by it, they’re called cuckolds.”

“That sounds like those CEOs who go see BDSM mistresses.”

We fell into silence again. It was going better than I thought it would. There was no judgment coming from Jana—she didn’t even seem to be judging Dave. She was just trying to understand it.

“So Dave likes to watch you fuck,” Jana summarized.

“And I like doing it for him.”

She shot me a look. “Yeah, you’re going out to fuck some hot guy in his 20s just to make your husband happy. You poor, suffering girl!”

“Okay, it’s not just for him anymore. At first, it really was. I mean, sure, it was flattering to have guys hit on me, but I really didn’t feel any desire at all to be with other men. But then we started doing it, and it was fun, and some of the guys—like Zach—were really good. I’m not saying better than Dave…”

“Mmhm…”

“But it had been so long since I was with anyone else I’d forgotten how hot that first flush of seduction is.”

“I get it. I didn’t fuck AJ because I don’t love Neil. It’s just that AJ is just so…wow…that when he showed interest I couldn’t say no. Maybe I should introduce you, since you’re in the market for a good fuck.”

I shook my head. “We’re on a break, but thanks for offering to share.” I didn’t know if I’d be willing to share my Zach. Carlos maybe, because I know it would turn him on.

“Why is that? You weren’t so clear.”

It was hard to explain to Jana why we were on a break without telling her about the night I lost control with Carlos, but I still didn’t want to cop to it. “It was just getting a little too intense for both of us, so we thought it would be a good idea to step back for a while.”

“Dave finally started to get jealous, didn’t he? It had to happen.”

“Not really. We just ran into complications.”

“You started to get feelings for one of these guys!”

“No, I have not fallen for any of these guys. I mean, I like them, they’re fun to hang out with. Unless I do a one night stand, which is rare anyway, I need to like to spend time with a guy. It’s not like I just walk in the door and we strip and fuck.”

I would be happy to just strip for Carlos, wouldn’t I? I was careful with my words, because I didn’t want to lie. I hadn’t fallen for Carlos, but I couldn’t honestly say I didn’t have feelings. They were feelings of unbridled lust, though, not anything touchy-feely like I wanted him to be my boyfriend. I just wanted to be a good little slut for him, and that scared me, because I should only be feeling that for my husband.

“Okay, so how do you get past these complications?” Jana asked.

“I don’t know. I’m hoping things will cool off with this time off.”

“They could. What will you do if they don’t?”

“Then I guess we stop.”

Jana laughed. “You don’t sound too sure of that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m on your side. Dave opened Pandora’s Box. He can’t think it’s something you can just close again so easily.”

“I guess so. Honestly, Dave’s so into it that I haven’t seriously considered we would just stop it altogether.”

“So you don’t want to?”

“No,” I said, looking down. If Dave made me I would, and I’d find a way to be okay with it, but I was not ready to give it up. I felt like a terrible wife for admitting the truth. I wasn’t ready to give up the attention or the thrill of illicit sex.

“Hey, I’m still not judging. If I was in your position, I wouldn’t give up my boy toys either. I’d tell Neil he’s got to live with it now. I wish I could find a way to get into your position!”

It was my turn to laugh. “It’s not as easy as it sounds. I took a long time to work up my nerve in the beginning. And then you’ve got be ready to kiss a lot of frogs. It’s like real dating, that way.”

“I think I could adapt.”

“No way Neil would ever go for it?”

Jana shook her head. “I can’t really see it. He’s usually pretty mellow, but he can be jealous. He was pretty pissed that night when we were hanging out in the pool with Jay.”

“You gave him plenty of reason to be!”

“Speaking of Jay, you should definitely be fucking him.”

“No, too close to home. Who knows if he could keep his mouth shut?” I knew he was off limits, but the mention of him got me thinking about how much fun he would be.

“I think I could probably convince Neil to swap with another couple, if I could set things up. It would have to be in the moment, though. If it was preplanned and he had time to think about it he would back out.”

“Yeah, it’s easy to psych yourself out,” I agreed.

“Maybe if one of your pool parties got out of hand…”

“Jana! We’re not doing any of that stuff at home!”

“I’m just saying we both know Neil would love to fuck you…”

“But Dave doesn’t want to fuck you—no offense. He doesn’t want to fuck any other women.”

“That’s a shame. I would rock his world. Anyway, if Neil fucked you then he would have to give me the pass to go out, right?”

“You haven’t exactly waited for a pass before.”

“Don’t be mean.”

“Sorry,” I said.

“This way it would be in the open. Maybe he would get off sharing experiences.”

“Don’t start forming some plan,” I warned. This is a huge secret. Dave doesn’t know I’m confiding in you, and I don’t know if I’m going to tell him. He’s really freaked about anyone finding out.”

Jana smiled. “I like that he’s kinky. It makes him more interesting.”

“Hey! Hands off my husband.”

“It’s only fair he should get some.”

Jana had a point, but I didn’t see it happening. Dave swore he wasn’t interested in other women, and I’d seen firsthand that he didn’t take advantage when he had the chance. But I did wonder if he would resist if Jana really put on the pressure. I doubted I’d ever find out.

“I’m only kidding, hon,” Jana said. “I’m not going to embarrass the poor guy. If he wants this to be his dirty little secret I can respect that.”

“Thank you.”

“But you have to promise that you’ll share the gory details if you get back out there. I haven’t had a session with AJ in ages. I need to live vicariously through you.”

“I promise.”

Time got away from us, so we finished lunch and split the check. Jana had a nice walk to the theater and had to get a move on. We hugged outside the bistro and as we said goodbye I could tell something had changed between us. It wasn’t that Jana thought I was some awful person, rather I felt like she had a newfound respect for me, and I sensed a little jealousy there, too. I was sure she would keep my confidence in the neighborhood, but I was not as sure she wouldn’t try to find some way to turn all of this into some adventure for herself. I would have to be vigilant.

I wasn’t sure she had reason to be jealous. Yes, I’d had some great adventures, but things were all confused and twisted now. I needed to know where Dave and I stood, and I was not prepared to give him much more time. I’d been a very good girl during our break, but it was harder than I thought it would be. I did not recharge the burner phone, because I knew I’d be too tempted to turn it on if it was charged. And then I would see a flurry of messages from Carlos, and I was honestly afraid of what I might do in response. It was easier to be good when temptation was taken away.

I’d also gotten a few casual texts from Zach—he was still trying to stay in the game—but I blew those off too. Zach would be the perfect place to run if I wanted to be bad. He was all fun and comfortable. Closer to a boyfriend, if I would ever allow such a thing.

I’ve never been a superstitious person, but sometimes things just happen that make you question if something larger is at work. For example, can you summon something—or someone—just by thinking of it? Does the universe throw tests in your path to see how you’ll respond? My test was right around the corner.

“Hey, Dani,” he called as I turned the corner. I didn’t react at first. I was not expecting anyone to call out for Dani. “Dani, hey, wait up!”

I turned, and there was Zach, as if I’d summoned him. His hair was a little shorter than the last time I’d seen him, and I think it was the first time I’d ever seen him dressed fully like an adult. He wore baggy, distressed cargo pants and a loose, plaid shirt. It could have just been me, but he looked particularly handsome. I let him pull me into an embrace and failed the first test by letting him kiss my lips instead of offering the cheek.

“It’s been a while.” I was smiling. I was genuinely happy to see him.

“It’s been too long. You’re always so damned busy.”

I quickly slipped back into my Dani persona and replied, “Custody isn’t working out like it’s supposed to, so I don’t have a lot of free nights.”

“I thought maybe you were seeing someone else.”

“There’s been a date or two.” I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but I did always feel it was important to let him know where we stood.

He grinned. “It’s not like I’ve been home waiting by the phone.”

“Oh really?”

“Don’t worry, Dani. No one’s as sexy as you.”

I could just imagine the eager young things he was meeting at the bar. “Yeah, right.”

“You look hot, babe.” He stepped back to look me over and a blush crept into my cheeks.

I was not dressed for a date, but dressing sexier had just crept into my normal wardrobe, even when I was out for a casual afternoon, apparently. I wore a light jacket over a figure-hugging ribbed mock turtleneck and a short, pleated black kilt with patterned stockings and high boots. Suburban mom chic. They were thigh highs. I hadn’t worn pantyhose in months—a change that my husband heartily approved of.

“You’re just trying to get me back into bed,” I said.

“Is it working?”

“Maybe just a little,” I said, barely holding my fingers apart.

“I hope this helps.”

Zach kissed me, right there on the sidewalk, in the middle of the afternoon, in the middle of the city. It wasn’t likely anyone I knew would see us, but it wasn’t impossible. That thrill of danger raced through my veins and I reacted like any other addict getting a hit. I sighed and sagged into his broad chest. He held me tightly and I sensually pressed my curves to him while pressing my tongue to his.

I’d been starving for that attention more than I knew. Dave and I had been having sex at least a couple times a day, but it didn’t slow me down. I was still always horny. The message I sent Zach was loud and clear, and I only barely managed to pull away from him. I was breathless. He was all smiles.

“So what are you doing down here?” he asked.

“Shopping,” I said, wrestling back control of my tongue.

“You know, there’s a great lingerie shop just a couple blocks away.”

“What a coincidence,” I replied playfully. My conscience was screaming in the background:
Get out of here! Do
not
flirt with this boy!