Hot Sleep (17 page)

But if his time belongs to all of us, then it is not right for him to go into the forest, but he must work alongside us all, giving his time equally, even if he does more work during the time.

Which is right? I do not know. In my own mind, I think that a man's time is his own, for does not J give us all time alone, not telling us what to do? And I like best the things I do in those times. But the others say that such time is only a gift from J, and that J gave it equally, which is true.

I do not know which is right. I only know that I must do something to stop the others from being angry at Linkeree and at me. And yet it does not seem right to me that Linkeree should be stopped from what he is doing. If he would only tell us what it is he does in the forest.

Tomorrow all must work to build a good large fence and roof for the sheep for the winter, for there are many more sheep this year than last, and the old fence and roof are too small for them all. This will stop the argument for a day.

This is another important thing: My son Ciel has spoken a word today. He said, Sara, which is his mother's name. Sara was so happy that she sang all day, and Ciel said the word again tonight. Sara is happy because it means that maybe our child will be as clever as J's children which he brings from the Star
Tower
. I do not hope for this, for our children are weak and small. But I am happy because J's promise is going to be fulfilled: my children will speak, and then will read someday.

From now on Ciel and Mun I write to you, my son and daughter. And now I make an end of writing for this time.

Linkeree is a good man.

I write this because Linkeree is a good man and will not cause trouble anymore. I told him of yesterday's trouble with Hux and Wien. Linkeree was quiet for a little time, and then he said to me, Kapock, I will not cause trouble in Heaven
City
. I will work many hours like all the others, and will not go into the forest again at all during this time until the moon of the thaw. Maybe they will forget during the winter when there is deep snow.

This way we will not have the trouble, for Linkeree will no more take the ax.

Linkeree is lost.

I did not finish my writing of yesterday because there was a trouble after all. Linkeree went away during the night, and I stopped writing when Batta, one of the women who only a few months ago learned speech, came to me to tell me that Linkeree was not in his bed in the house with other unmarried people.

We called for him, but he did not answer. Batta said, We must look for him.

But I would not, because there is now snow on the ground, and if anyone got lost in the night he would die of cold before the morning.

Then in the morning before we could leave to search for Linkeree, he came to us of his own will.

I am ready to work, he said.

Everyone said, Where were you all night, and why are you not frozen in the snow.

But Linkeree would not say. He only said, I am ready to work. What more can you want from me?

And this is true. For J never commanded us to tell all things, but only to do all work in common. Our thoughts belong to ourselves: this J has always said. We can make no man or woman tell us their thoughts.

But Hux and Wien were very angry. I do not understand why Hux and Wien are always angry at Linkeree, for he does not make them hungry, and he does not make them cold; he hurts them in no way, but they do not like for him to do things they do not know about. They say it is not fair, but I do not think fairness is the question. I think that Linkeree makes them afraid.

Why are they afraid of Linkeree? Why does he make them angry doing this thing? I do not understand. For I, like Linkeree, look for time to be alone. I have found out that the hours I spend writing this are some of my happiest hours, like the hours I spent at the loom, making cloth, for no one takes my thoughts away from me during those times, except Sara, and when she talks my thoughts are not taken away, for I can tell my thoughts to her, and so I keep them.

And now, tonight, Linkeree is gone again, and the snow is falling. I am afraid that some danger will come to him. But at least now I know what he has done in the forest. All alone he has built a house. This must be so because there is no other way that he could have come to us warm and dry in the morning.

Why does he want a house that no one else knows? Why did he want no help in building it? Even strong Wien wanted help to build his house. Linkeree is the best wall maker, but even he cannot make the great logs fly into place like birds.

Is he not afraid to sleep alone in the darkness, far from the other people? My own house is on this side of the river from all the others, but here I am not truly alone, for Sara and my children and the sheep are here. I would not like to be alone where no one else breathed loudly in the night.

And there is something else: What will J think when he learns that one of the Ice People has gone away from Heaven
City
to build a place apart? I worry that I should make Linkeree live among us all, even at night. And yet I do not want to stop Linkeree until I understand and am sure that it is bad.

I do not like being Warden. But I would rather be Warden than have Hux or Wien as Warden, for they do not think before they decide, and now I know that this is bad, for they would have caused terrible anger in Heaven
City
by making Linkeree not do what it was Linkeree's right to do.

I make an end of writing at this time. I am angry and afraid, and I do not know what to do. What will J think of me?

A bad thing has happened.

Today the snow was deep and Linkeree did not come back from his house deep in the forest until the sun was at noon. He was cold and wet, and he said that it was hard walking through the deep drifts, and that twice he had been buried in the snow.

Wien was glad to see Linkeree, and I believe because of this that Wien has a real caring for Linkeree. But Hux was angry again. I think that Hux would rather be angry at Linkeree than not. Hux said that Linkeree had missed a whole morning of work, and that because of his house in the forest he had stolen many hours from all of the people.

The woman Batta, even though she is young, said, I do not care about the hours. I care that Linkeree has come back to us and he is safe.

He would not be in danger except that he steals time from us and built himself a house in the forest, Hux said. And then he said something that many people agree with: We only get houses when we marry. Why does Linkeree now have a house when he is not married? If we all did this we would spend all our time making houses.

Linkeree answered this with his face red with anger, saying, I did not ask any of you to help me build my house, and so it is mine. It cost you nothing. You did not work for it, and I did not do less work here in Heaven City than any of you. It is my house.

I do not know if this is a good argument or not. It is one thing to say My arm or my leg, for it is clearly mine. It is even right to say, My shirt or my shoes, for these would not fit any other person. And when one has eaten one can say, My dinner, for no one else can ever eat that food. But to say My house when it is a thing that any person could fit into and use does not seem right.

Sara is reading this and she says that in these very writings I have called this house My house. That is true. But when I call it My house I do not mean that I would close the door against any other man or woman. And yet this is what Linkeree means.

For Hux said to Linkeree. Ryanno and I are going to be married. We need a house.

And Linkeree said, Good. I will help you build one.

No one said anything, but we all knew that Hux was really saying I want to live in the house you built. And Linkeree was really saying, I will not let you live in it.

Then I spoke, for I had made a decision: Linkeree, until the snow is over, it is better if you do not sleep in your house in the forest except on nights when the sky is clear and it will not snow, for it is not right that you should spend hours going through the forest when you should be here working like the rest of us.

And Linkeree saw that this was fair, and he agreed. But then he said, If many people would go with me, we could walk the snow down until it is hard, and there would be a path through the woods that I could follow without fear, and it would not take me hours.

Hux shouted, No, for that is work that would only help you, and no one else, for no one else lives in your house.

Hux was right, and so I said, There is no more work that must be done today except the cooking of the food. So let all those who want to come with Linkeree, and we will walk down the snow until it is hard, if he will let us see his house and the way to it. And all those who do not want to do this can have hours to do with as they choose here in Heaven City.

Hux still tried to say this was not right, but the people saw that I was being fair, because this was not work that anyone had to do. Also, everyone wanted to see Linkeree's house, and so every single person, including Hux at the end, agreed to help walk down the snow.

We walked down the snow and it was a glad time with shouting and singing all the way.

Linkeree's house is made of smaller logs than our houses, and there are more of them. The cracks he has filled with mud and straw, and it lets in no wind. This is a good idea, and I have decided that in the springtime we will also fill in the cracks in logs with mud and straw. Also, Linkeree has made a hole in the other side of his house from the door. It starts at a man's waist and goes up to his head, and closes like a door with a frame made of sticks covered tightly with cloth and straw. Linkeree says that in the summer this will let the wind pass through his house and he will be cooler than those who live in other houses.

And as I looked at his house I thought, this is what did not look right about my house, and I knew that I would have to take down my back wall and make a small door for the wind as Linkeree has done.

When all had seen Linkeree's house we went back to Heaven City, even Linkeree, for it was time to eat.

Then the bad thing happened. During dinner, Hux went to Linkeree and said, Give me your bread.

This made everyone be quiet, because no man has the right to say Give me your bread.

Linkeree said nothing, but went on eating his potatoes.

Hux said, Today I worked for you. I did not work for all of us, but only for you. Therefore, you should give me something. I want your bread.

I said, You have enough to eat, Hux. You do not need bread.

Hux said, When I work for another man I get hungrier than when I work for myself. He must give me bread, because I gave to him, and only to him, the strength of my legs.

Then Hux spoke loudly to everyone gathered in the eating house: when I work for all of you, then all of you give me a part of your bread and potatoes and cream and every other thing. If I do not work, I get less. This is Jason's law.

This is true. But then Hux said: Today I worked for Linkeree, and so now Linkeree must give me food. When I work for all men, all men give me food. When I work for one man, one man must give me food.

This did not seem right to me, nor to many of us. But no one could think of an answer. Hux is very good at making his ideas seem true, even when they are not true.

Linkeree said, If you want more food, there is plenty of nightsoil.

This made many people laugh, but Hux did not laugh. Instead he took Linkeree's bread from his plate, and took a great bite out of it. Linkeree jumped up to take back the bread, but Hux threw it down on the ground and stepped on it so it could not be eaten.

Then Linkeree became very angry and with his fist he struck Hux in the stomach. He struck him so hard that Hux fell to the ground and vomited all he had eaten for dinner.

This made us all very afraid, for such a thing had never happened before. Wien was more angry than others because Hux is his friend more than any other man. Wien was about to strike Linkeree with his fist, also. But I went to Wien and put my hand on his arm, and he did not strike Linkeree.

I did not know what to do, for such a thing bad never happened before. This is what I said, and I fear it was not wise: Hux took that which he did not have a right to take — another man's bread. For this a good and just punishment is for him to lose his own dinner, which he has done. Therefore I will give no more punishment to Hux.

Then I said to Linkeree: You have built yourself a house, but this does not mean that you are not one of us, equal to all of us. When we have a problem we have always gone to the Warden or to J to have an answer. But this time you did not wait. You decided for yourself what the punishment should be, as if you were the Warden. You are not the Warden. You did not have the right to cause pain to Hux.

Linkeree could see that I was very angry, because he said, I am sorry you are angry, Kapock, and I am sorry that I struck Hux. I was angry, and I did not think first.

But this could not be enough. For if a man can make another man do his will by striking him hard, then Wien would soon be the Warden, for he is the strongest. And those who are not strong would soon be ruled not by justice, but by the desires of the strong. And did J not say, The strong man and the clever man and the kind man have equal gifts, and shall not rule over each other?

So I said that Linkeree must be punished, and his punishment must be like what he did to Hux. Therefore I said that Linkeree must stand while another man struck him as he had struck Hux.

Everyone thought that this was a just punishment, even Linkeree, though he looked afraid. But then, even though the punishment was just, no one was willing to strike Linkeree. Not even I, for it is too hard a thing to cause someone pain, even when they have caused it to someone else.

Then Sara said, I will do this, because the punishment must be carried out.

I forbade her.

But she said, I will do it because it must be done, but Linkeree must understand that I am not angry at him, but love him like everyone else here, or I will not do it.

I understand, Linkeree said.