Hotshot (18 page)

Shay didn’t need any more persuasion.

Hearing Vince say meeting her had changed his life for the better delivered an aphrodisiac stronger than anything she could imagine. His words soothed the old hurt inside her.

But thinking about that hurt, that night, made her wonder. “How can you say that when I slept with your best friend?”

“That event happened later, if you recall.”

She stared down at her dog, sleeping peacefully in the chair beside her. What a thoughtful gift from Vince. He’d seemed perfect to her back then. He still seemed amazing, but more real. “If I was so important to you, why did you turn me away?”

“Respect for your old man. Respect for you.”

Oh God, she needed air. She’d been so mired in insecurities then she’d missed out on a chance for so much. With her restraint already falling fast, this tipped her the rest of the way over the edge. “If I could go back to that time . . .”

“Well, I have to admit I wasn’t all that sure you really wanted me as much as you wanted to piss off your dad. That stung my pride more than a bit. Little did I know it would hurt a helluva lot worse when Tommy threw your panties at my chest.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, her fingers burying deeper in her dog’s fur. She’d wanted something like that to happen, having no clue how much she would regret it now from an adult perspective. “I’m so sorry.”

Silence hung heavy with her memories of driving over to see Tommy. Of intending to tell him she’d made a mistake sleeping with him. Instead, she’d found Tommy and Vince circling each other, knives drawn. The fight had sucked in more teens, until finally the police arrived.

A gun was drawn.

Bullets flew, and Tommy dropped.

A horrible possibility bloomed in her mind. Her eyes snapped open. “Were you two fighting about me?”

Vince stared back at her, his dark eyes totally somber for once. “He threw your underwear. I threw a punch. Things went downhill from there.”

As if she hadn’t already felt guilty enough about that night. The truth was even worse than she’d imagined. The stab of guilt went deep.

That night rolled back over her. How much she’d hated herself for giving away her virginity out of anger. The ache in her heart and between her thighs over how raw the rough, brief encounter had been in the arms of someone who didn’t really care about her.

Now to hear that Tommy had lorded it over Vince . . .

She sat up straighter. Tommy had arranged for her to meet him that night. Could he have planned the whole explosive event? As much as she wanted to hate him for that, she couldn’t scrounge anything more than a deep sadness. They’d all been so young, reckless, even outright stupid.

No one deserved to die because of the ignorance of youth.

Shay saw the same weight of guilt etched on Vince’s bold face. “How do we get past feeling responsible for what happened to him?”

His fists opened and closed on his knees. “I wish I had the answer.”

She couldn’t even hold his gaze and looked down at her dog again, her sweet little spoiled pet that Vince had gotten for her. Somehow he’d known how much she needed the comfort Buster would bring in the middle of this chaos.

An image of Vince from that night came back to haunt her. Vince wrapping himself around her to shield her after the cops came. That vision collided with memories of the drive-by shooting at the center when he’d covered her yet again. And here he was again, putting himself in harm’s way for her, protecting her, comforting her even.

Shay stood and walked to his chair. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He stiffened in her embrace, but she forged on, urging him to rest his head against her chest, hugging him close, offering comfort.

His hands slid up to palm her waist, then circled around. She wasn’t sure how long they held on to each other. Nobody cried or spoke, but the air thickened with something she couldn’t quite define.

But it was something she absolutely couldn’t miss.

He tugged, catching her off guard and off balance. She tumbled into his lap as he sealed his mouth to hers. Urgency pulsed from him into her. She blinked through her surprise to find her body already burning for more.

Her chest rose and fell with ragged breaths. Raw emotions from the past and from the present scoured through her, and she couldn’t resist the outlet his kiss, his body offered. She suspected much the same feelings stirred through him.

Twisting, she knelt to straddle him without breaking their kiss. The bold sweep of his tongue over hers sent a fresh jolt through her.

Her legs clamped against his as she wriggled to get closer, yet she was already as close as she could get without crawling inside him. He cupped her head, palmed her bottom, wrapping her in heat.

She stroked her fingers over his smoothly shaved scalp. So sleek. So sexy. She nipped the corner of his mouth. “Don’t you want to ask me fifty questions like, am I sure this is what I really want?”

He teased her earlobe between his teeth. “Or why the change of heart?”

“Or what are we going to do once tomorrow is over?” She arched her neck to give him better access.

“Or how about, when are you going to stop talking, because tomorrow is the very reason we need this?”

“I can’t argue with that.”

She stripped off his shirt, and wow, she’d shortchanged herself in not taking the time to look him over last night. The hard cut of muscles twitched under her gaze, the tattoos shifting with the roll of tendons as if coming to life. The phoenix tattoo draped over his shoulder, wings down his back, was familiar. “I remember this from when you used to strip off your shirt to work on your motorcycle. Did you know how we girls drooled over you?”

“God, I loved that rat bike.” His fingers rasped up her sides, his thumbs grazing her breasts.

“Rat bike?” She shivered at the wash of tingles.

“Rat nasty,” he explained between nipping his way down her neck, into the vee of her shirt, “held together with baling wire and a prayer.”

Shay kissed her way over his shoulder for a better look, and yes, she’d remembered correctly. The wings flowed down his back with the word Freedom interwoven in the feathers. An amazing piece of art, it must have taken a full day to create.

Shay skimmed her hands over his broad shoulders, thinking of that first night of his return when he’d walked in and nearly scared her to death with his intimidating size. Now her mind filled only with memorizing every inch of him. She crawled across his chest, Carpe Diem etched on his abs, another mark from his teen years, an earlier tat, this one not as expertly scrolled.

He peeled away her shirt and unhooked her bra in a smooth sweep and toss, teasing over her skin. She gripped his arms and found the roughened texture of another tattoo on his other biceps. Could she have forgotten? No. She remembered everything about him. She broke the kiss to look.

“Yeah, it’s a new one,” he growled, his hands rising to cup her breasts, plucking lightly on both until she beaded harder with pleasure.

Her lashes fluttered shut for an instant before she forced them open again, determined to look her fill this time. She found a dagger with Chinese lettering on the handle.

The blade gave her pause.

She forced herself to lean forward and press her lips to the tattoo, to own it as a part of him and not a part of her past. “Any other new inkings I should know about?”

“You’ll have to find out for yourself.” His callused hands rasped along her skin as he stroked from her breasts around to her back, fingers dipping below her waistband. He gently snapped her thong.

She would have to get naked soon, totally bared in the light. Her scars would be out there for him to see. She should tell him. She wanted to and didn’t at the same time.

Maybe he simply needed to rediscover the new and different her the same way she was relearning him.

SEVENTEEN

Who the hell needed sleep?

Vince had never felt more completely awake.

He wondered how the woman kissing him senseless could feel so intensely familiar and new at the same time. Not that he intended to waste even a second thinking right now.

He had a willing Shay in his arms and a bed a few steps away.

She clutched his shoulders, urgently wriggling against him. He scooped her up and carried her to the wide bed. Finally. He propped his knee on the edge and eased her onto the mattress, holding their kiss as he positioned himself over her.

He’d spent so many years avoiding thoughts of her, he’d missed out on the possibility that she’d changed, too. He’d focused on thinking about the negatives they brought out in each other, until he’d lost sight of her positives that had enticed him in the first place. The way she always listened, really listened to what he and other people had to say.

Her uninhibited laugh when she rode on the back of his bike.

Vince elbowed up to keep the bulk of his weight off her. The feel of her smooth hands on his body, exploring his tattoos, sent his pulse into overdrive. Not many women understood, just seeing them as a sign of danger, either a turn-on or turnoff. Shay seemed to understand how the markings were simply a part of him, past and present, with maybe more in his future.

She reached for the fastening on her jeans.

He placed his hands over hers. “I’ve got it.”

Smiling, she let her arms fall to rest above her head. With her shirt and bra already on the floor, she made for pinup material. Her pert breasts high and creamy white with pretty pink tips. Her tousled curls fluffed around her face in a halo belied just a little by her hint of a wicked smile.

She kicked off one shoe then the other, and they tumbled along the carpet.

He palmed both tempting mounds at once, and she arched into his touch with a gasp. Slowly, gently, he massaged her, enjoying the way her head dug back into the pillow. She kept her arms over her head as if pinned by invisible cords, her fingers flexing open and closed.

Trailing his hands until he stopped at the top of her jeans, he slid the button free, exposing another inch of tantalizing flesh. And, ah, what a time to notice her belly button ring, a simple gold rod offering a hint of the old rebellious Shay. No way could he resist leaning to press his mouth against her there, clicking the metal against his teeth with his tongue.

She rocked her hips. “You’re really good at that, you know.”

“I’m giving it my best effort.” He glanced up at her as he took her zipper between his teeth and pulled . . .

Down.

Down.

Down until her pants parted and his chin rested right against her sweetest curve of all. Her fingers stretched straight and open and taut. A flush swept her body. He would have liked to see her brown eyes open and locked on him, pupils widening with pleasure. Still, she appeared so intensely in the moment.

A total turn-on.

He tugged her jeans along her hips, nuzzling briefly against her soft curls. The scent of her threatened to send him over the edge, and he shifted his attention to peeling her pants off her legs. A tantalizingly long task as he worked his way down her killer gams.

She kicked her jeans and panties free, bowing up off the bed and kneeling to reach for his belt buckle.

Again he smiled. “Let me.”

She hesitated, then leaned back onto her elbows to watch. She eye stroked him with appreciation as firmly as if her hands roved his body. Words seemed scarce, but he was so busy taking in the nuances of seeing her, smelling her, feeling her, his brain lacked the capacity for much else.

Then his pants were gone, and he worked his way back up her body, nibbling her hip, down to her thigh. She’d mentioned enjoying hiking and camping, and the exercise showed in her long, defined muscles. He knew well the power of her legs locked around him.

He skimmed his mouth down to the back of her knee, nudging between her legs with his shoulders. After a second of hesitation, she parted for him. Caressing her calf, he crooked her leg to give him access to her pretty ankles, pink-tipped toes, and yes, spreading her wider for his journey back up. Nip after nip he retraced his path. He worked his way along creamy skin, past her knee to the inside of her thigh.

His mouth met slightly raised lines.

He opened his eyes and saw pale scars, thin striations faded by time until they were barely visible. But he didn’t question for a minute what they represented, what she’d done to herself.

She tensed against him. He buried his face harder against her in counterpressure to the pain that had led her to do this to herself. He stroked her carefully until she relaxed again.

God, it ripped him up inside thinking of how much she’d suffered, too. After the night Tommy died, they’d never spoken again. Shay had dropped out of Civil Air Patrol. They’d gone to different high schools for senior year. He’d never called.

And here they were seventeen years later, even hotter for each other.

He kissed her intimately, as close as he could be to her, letting her know how much he wanted her, past and present. Her sigh spurred him.

Her head flung back and her hips arched. He drew in her scent, wanted more and took it, stroking and laving. Her moans massaged him higher, harder, coaxing him on because he wouldn’t stop until she found her completion, even though holding back was just about killing him.

She gripped his shoulders, her fingernails digging in deeper, insistent. Her groans swelled, her hips writhing against the anchoring pressure of his hold. He teased his tongue and teeth against her until her whole body went taut, bowing upward with her uninhibited release. Moans built to cries, louder and louder until she flung her wrist across her mouth to muffle the sweet sounds.

He stayed with her, working every last ounce of pleasure for her, even though his body throbbed with a driving need to be inside her. With a final sigh, she sagged back, and he crawled up her body. Her deft hands slid a condom over him before he could even think to mention it, much less reach for the packet. He covered her, entered her.

And he didn’t want to leave.

Shay didn’t want to leave the hotel bed and face the uncertain world outside.

She kept her eyes off the clock and on a magnificently naked Vince. The alarm had been set. Egyptian cotton sheets tangled around their bare bodies, and Buster slept at their feet.

Perfection? Maybe.

Scary? Definitely.

Her head resting on Vince’s phoenix, she toyed with his dog tags.
Tink, tink, tink
. “I wish we could stay here for a week.”

“That can be arranged.” He trailed a rose from the vase up and down her spine.

Her stomach flat-out pitched. “First, I have to get my life back together.” She would much rather focus on Vince’s hard-muscled body and the pleasure they could bring each other. “I never realized how difficult it could be to replace everything in a wallet. I’m definitely going to have a plan B backup in the future.”

He teased the rose over her nose, the sweet perfume mingling with the musky scent of sex. A heady combination. “Are you planning on getting mugged on a regular basis?”

“You know where I work. It’s a possibility.”

He skimmed the rose between her breasts, back and forth. “I would offer you money, but I suspect you wouldn’t take it.”

“You’re correct.” Especially not now that they’d slept together and with the possibility of that week in bed together looming.

“Why not ask your parents for a loan?”

“I’d rather sleep in a tent.” She cringed at even the thought. Her brother was the one who asked for money in his constant quest for another degree. Not her. She had her own realm for disappointing them.

He set the rose aside on her pillow. “You really do resent your father that much?”

She rolled to her back, studying the crown molding bordering the ceiling. “We have our problems.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t end up in the air force, too. We may have only spent six months together in Civil Air Patrol, but you really were a first-rate flyer.”

She turned her head on the pillow and faked a smile. “I was only there for the boys.”

He grazed his knuckles along her jaw as if to soften his words. “Stupid me, I thought you were there to get your father’s attention.”

Her smile pinched as tight as her chest. “If that had been true, I would be flying right now, don’t you think?”

“You’re following in your old man’s footsteps, whether you realize it or not.”

“I’m a nurse, and he’s some spooky agent type.” Both helping teenagers. Duh. At least Vince wasn’t gloating.

His cobalt blue eyes deepened. “It’s dangerous for your father if you talk about those things.”

She traced the edges of his goatee. “And for you?”

“I’m just a plain old zipper-suited sky god.” He kissed the inside of her palm.

“Like my dad.” She tugged the magenta duvet to ward off a fresh wash of gooseflesh.

“I know your parents had a rough time, but military members have successful relationships. You have to realize that.”

Not according to what Smooth had told her.

“If so, they must be hiding from me.” And she was certainly smart enough to realize they weren’t just speaking in the hypothetical here. They were testing the scary waters for something that went beyond spending a week in bed together. “Maybe some people have a special connection that survives the stress.” Crushing stress. “Maybe sometimes even the kids make it through. But God, Vince, we live in a world where happily ever after is growing scarcer by each statistical poll. Your career heaps on circumstances that make the odds even slimmer. Why would I want to set myself up for that kind of failure?”

“Do you have so little faith in yourself?”

She flinched outside and in. “Don’t try to shrink me. I’ve already spent years in therapy.”

His searing blue eyes immobilized her. “Because of the suicide attempt?”

“You heard that back at the center, huh?” She twisted her watch around without thinking, then noticed his attention drawn to her wrist.

“Tough to miss.” He stroked the outside of her thigh, sliding gently inward over her faded scars.

Why hadn’t she told him from the start? This conversation hurt so much more with her emotions as tender as her well-loved body. “I don’t believe in making excuses for what I did. I spent too many years blaming other people for my unhappiness.”

“Why were you unhappy?”

“For the same reasons a lot of teenagers here are unhappy. My parents were splitting. My dad was messed up from too much war time. School sucked.” She’d thought she was in love with someone who didn’t love her back. “Things that happen to kids every day and thankfully most of them don’t cut themselves to ease the pain.”

“And some do.” His palm rested warm and steady over those faded scars. “What brought you back from the edge?”

“I went to counseling in college. It took a while, though. I wish I had some huge story of a lightning strike or some such, but finding peace snuck up on me in a subtler way.”

“Tell me.” He squeezed her leg. “I want to hear.”

Could she tell him what she hadn’t shared with anyone other than a grandmotherly therapist? Her only other option was running scared, hiding from relationships for another decade or so.

Time to talk. “I was having a bad day, a really bad day my senior year of college. The pressure had mounted, planning for real life on my own. I had decided to give up.”

Each breath grated on its way in and out, but she pushed past it. “But I wanted to make sure I had everything in order. I was going through my mail to be sure all my bills were paid, and I came across this brochure. It was for a hiking weekend that doubled as a treasure hunt.” The intensity of that moment, the soft voice inside urging her to live still overwhelmed her years later. “Suddenly I absolutely had to go on that trip.”

“Ah . . .” His intense, strong features softened with understanding. “That’s why you had all the hiking stuff in your trunk.”

She shrugged, smiling. “I’m a nature junkie. A weekend in the wild levels me out.”

“Like a road trip for me.”

Wow, she hadn’t expected it to be this easy. “You understand.”

He gathered her against his chest, her leg sliding between his thick thighs. “Sounds like we have hobbies that could blend, biking until our butts go numb, then pitching a tent where the impulse strikes us.”

Her breath hitched halfway down her throat. He painted a beautiful picture full of possibilities. She’d tackled rebuilding her life and conquered those hurdles alone. Totally alone and comfortable in that.

Being with Vince and the feelings he stirred were anything but comfortable.