Hour of Mischief (19 page)

“I couldn’t follow through with Meroquio,” I said. “I backed out. The last time I hesitated, that girl died.”

“Your friends aren’t in a burning building, little human.” Itazura sighed. “We still have time. Sure, there’s a clock ticking, but not quite as quickly. There’s no need to panic.” He smiled.

It was one of those rare, genuine smiles without a mocking, sarcastic, or mischievous edge. I could almost call it sympathetic.

“I promised you I would set your friends free if you help me. I’m going to keep that promise. They aren’t going to end up like that girl. All right?”

I looked away, back down at my hand.

“Hey, little human, a god is asking you a question.” Itazura poked me in the forehead again.

“Will you quit that?” I snapped, batting his hand away again.

“I will when you answer me.” Itazura crossed his arms.

“Okay!” I threw my hands up in the air. “My friends are going to be fine. Happy?”

Itazura winked. “That’s the spirit, little human.”

“Gods, you’re obnoxious,” I muttered, stuffing my hands in my pockets and stalking past him. “So, are we going back to Laetatia’s place or what? I need a strong drink. Now.”

“You’re going to drink yourself to death by the time you’re thirty,” Itazura said.

“No I won’t. I’m on Laetatia’s good side. Her blessing will keep me alive and well and tipsy until I’m eighty.”

Itazura laughed and I smiled.

I didn’t know why, but Itazura had started to grow on me. I mean
yes,
he was still the most annoying being in the entire clockwork world, but somehow, it didn’t seem to bother me as much anymore.

Maybe he really did care about humans and who we were. Spending so much time around humans, maybe he got a little attached.

Maybe that’s why I had started not minding his presence so much.

Just a little bit though.

“So, who’s the most logical choice?” I asked after we arrived back in Laetatia’s favorite tavern. “Who should I try to sway to our side?”

“Hmm.” Laetatia leaned back against the wall, holding a fresh drink in her hand. Unfortunately, my glass already sat empty since I had downed it the moment Itazura had placed it in my hand. “Well I can tell you the
least
logical.”

“Somehow I don’t think that will do anything but lower my self-esteem,” I said. “But fine. Shoot.”

“Well, we know the superior four won’t listen to a word a human says,” Itazura said. “So they’re ruled out.”

“Who are the superior four?” I asked.

“The four of the twelve gods who are most uninvolved with humans,” Laetatia said. “Generally speaking, the twelve gods can be split into three groups. The four who are uninvolved, the four who are very involved–”

“And the four who involve themselves depending on their mood,” Itazura said. “The superior four are Amontillado, Celine and Aelius and Cheveyo. Because . . . what was it you said about them, Laetatia? You always put it best.”

“Because Amontillado is cold as the metal he values, the night and day sisters are too busy arguing with each other and Cheveyo would rather chase a tail than a skirt,” Laetatia said. “So yes, they’re out.”

“What about the four most involved?” I asked. “You and Itazura are involved and I imagine Meroquio is one of those four. Who does that leave?”

“Artifex,” Laetatia said.

“As I told you earlier, he’s very fond of humans.” Itazura nodded. “In fact, of all the gods I’d almost call him the most human. He’s a hard worker and he’s humble.”

“Yeah,
that
trait seems to run low in the godly family,” I said.

“Oh, you flatter us, little thief.” Itazura gave a mock bow.

“Artifex
would
be the next logical choice,” Laetatia said. “The one problem is he’s not around.”

“What do you mean, not around?” I asked.

“He retreated to the Realm of the Gods the day Mother and Father made the decision not to tell the humans about the elder gods,” Itazura said. “He said he couldn’t stand to be around humans if he had to lie to them. Which it’s
not
lying, it’s omission. But Artifex sees it as the same thing.”

“He was quite torn up about it.” Laetatia nodded. “But too respectful of Mother and Father to protest. If you went to him now, he would agree to help you immediately. But he’s unreachable, especially considering we can’t take humans to the Realm of the Gods.”

“Right, because I’ll burn up if you do,” I said.

Laetatia and Itazura cast each other a glance, covering up snickers with their hands.

“What?” I demanded.

“That’s just a silly rumor the humans made up.” Itazura said, trying and failing to keep a straight face.

“Mother and Father really only put that law in place because they were tired of Meroquio bringing up so many humans.” Laetatia drew in a deep breath, trying to stop giggling.

My face fell. “Seriously?”

“Yes, but it’s still a rule,” Itazura said. “Especially now, given our situation. The others would suspect something if I suddenly brought a human to the realm of the gods.”

“Fine.” I plopped down on the couch. “Forgive me for not knowing all the rules of the gods.”

“Oh relax, Janet,” Laetatia said. “We just find human rumors incredibly amusing. It’s not just you.”

“Sure,” I said. “So, if Artifex is out, who are the four other gods? The ones who are occasionally involved with humans.”

“Well first off there’s Kova,” Laetatia said. “But she’s . . . um . . . how do I put this. . . .”

“Temperamental and war hungry,” Itazura said. “To her, a large, human death count might not be such a bad thing. She does like conflict after all. And she was one of the ones who helped come up with our whole ‘hide in the Realm of the Gods and let the Elder Gods run through their store of power before we crush them’ plan.”

“Okay, so not Kova,” I said.

“Then there’s Axira,” Laetatia said. “And given the fact she may or may not want to kill you–”

“Not a great idea.” I nodded. “Others?”

“The other two are Kalite, and the wisdom twins, Viden and Kaval,” Itazura said. “Kalite’s probably the most uninvolved of that group, but she has a really nice temperament. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her angry.”

“Oh I have,” Laetatia said. “You remember that time when Meroquio–”

“Oh,” Itazura chuckled. “Yes. But still, one incident in a couple thousand years? I’d say that’s a pretty good track record.”

“Wait, what happened with Meroquio?” I asked.

“Long story.” Laetatia brushed my question away, though honestly I
really
did want to hear this story. Anything that involved someone getting mad at Meroquio sounded awesome. “Kalite is probably your best bet.”

“Why not the wisdom twins?” I asked.

“Well, since they know everything,” Itazura reasoned, “it’s hard to get on their good side. They see through every act. You can’t win their respect with a drinking competition or your flirtation–”

“I can’t win
anyone
with my flirtation,” I pointed out.

“Well Meroquio made you an offer,” Laetatia said. “You just rejected it. I highly respect that by the way.”

“Thanks,” I said, though I hadn’t stopped beating myself up about the whole incident.

“Anyway,” Itazura said. “The point is the only way you win favor with the wisdom twins is through your intellect. And you mentioned you never received an education. We might run into a road block with that one.”

“Of course, on the other hand, if you managed to get the wisdom twins on our side we’d have a huge advantage,” Laetatia mused.

“She’s not going to get them on her side,” Itazura said.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I said sourly.

Itazura sighed and looked at me. “It’s nothing against you, little human. It’s just that if we take a gamble with the wisdom twins, it could end up damning this whole plan up. If they disagree with what I’m doing, they would tell Mother and Father immediately.”

“Good point. Probably too much of a risk.” Laetatia nodded at Itazura. “If I could sniff you out, they’d discover your entire plan the moment the human opens her mouth.”

“Or before,” Itazura added.

“I’m not a bad liar,” I said.

‘Oh you’re a fine liar,” Laetatia said. “Viden and Kaval are just the masters of all the knowledge and wisdom in the universe.”

I exhaled and my head dipped. “Okay, fine. I’ll take my chances with Kalite.”

“That way, at least if you fail, we can probably convince Kalite to keep the lid on our plan,” Itazura said lightly.

“You know, for someone who expressed so much confidence in me earlier, you sure are being negative now,” I said.

“Just keeping you on your toes.” Itazura winked.

“You could call it that,” Laetatia said, going over to the window and brushing the red curtains aside. “Or you could call it ‘being your annoying self.’”

“That’s what I call it,” I said.

“Oh, you like me, little human. Don’t try to hide it,” Itazura said, leaning above me over the arm of the couch.

“Yeah, right.” I turned my head into the cushions, partially because I was tired, and partially because his close proximity made me uncomfortable.

“Shit,” Laetatia muttered. And not the kind of “Oh no, I spilled my drink,” shit. This was the “we’re in a deep Abyss of trouble” kind of shit.

“What?” Itazura and I asked in unison.

Laetatia looked back at Itazura, “It’s our favorite hellion.”

Itazura paled. “Damn.”

“Wait who’s the helli-” But before the words could fully leave my mouth, Itazura scooped me up off the couch and rushed me over to the cabinets under the private bar. Before I knew what was happening he had shoved me inside and closed the doors on me.

“Hey, Itazura!” I snapped, banging on the door. It wouldn’t give. The stupid god was holding the door closed. “What in the great Abyss are you doing?”

“Stay under there if you want to live, little human,” Itazura said. “Kova is paying us a visit.”

I couldn’t help it: my jaw dropped. “K-Kova?”

“Just stay in there and keep quiet.” Itazura peered at me through the crack in the cabinet. “Oh, and try to stay calm. If you’re too anxious, she’ll be able to smell your blood more easily.”

“Sorry, what?” I asked.

“Itazura, get over here,” Laetatia hissed.

“Right,” Itazura said. “It’ll be fine, Janet.”

Then he left. I squirmed and wriggled to adjust myself, getting as comfortable as I could. Easier said than done, especially when I was trying to be quiet so the Goddess
of War
didn’t hear me moving.

Or . . . smell my blood, since apparently she can do that.

“There you are,” said a raspy voice that seemed to balance just between masculine and feminine. “Where in the Abyss have you been? I’ve been looking everywhere for both of you.”

“Well, you probably should have started with the bars.” Itazura pointed out. “Seeing as you were looking for Laetatia.”

“Or the bedrooms if you wanted Meroquio. I’m sure he’s somewhere around here,” Laetatia said.

“I don’t need Meroquio. I need useful gods.” The raspy-voiced goddess said.

I leaned forward to peer through the tiny gap between the cabinet doors. Itazura and Laetatia stood side by side, looking rather nervous in the presence of their sister. The war goddess herself stood before them.

I’d seen paintings of Kova before, but images really didn’t do her justice. Sure, they captured her likeness reasonably well–her blood-red hair, golden-brown skin, and her fitted silver armor and gold cape billowing all the way to her spiked boots–but none of the paintings really captured her presence. She absolutely filled the room with her entire being. Her sharp gaze, her frightening scowl, and her commanding voice seemed to demand worship. It was impossible to take Itazura seriously. I respected Laetatia but it never occurred to me to worship her because she was so friendly with humans.

But with Kova? If I made a snide comment to her, she would cut me down where I stood with that very large broad sword she had balanced over one shoulder.

“What’s with the weapon?” Laetatia said. “And why are you even down here?”

Kova gave a long sigh. “You know, for gods who are so obsessed with humans, you don’t pay much attention to their plights do you?” She flicked her blood-red hair from her eyes. “I know you two are too busy drinking and fooling with humans to notice when something important happens but we
are
on the verge of a crisis right now. You could stand to pay better attention.”

“What are you talking about?” Itazura asked. “Someone steal one of your weapons?”

“No,” Kova said. “Wendigoes. That’s what I’m talking about.”

Itazura and Laetatia fell silent as if the news had completely stolen the clever retorts from their mouths. An astounding feat, considering Itazura’s propensity for smart remarks. What kind of creatures were wendigoes and why did their presence prompt this reaction from two gods?

“That’s what I thought.,” Kova said.

“How many?” Laetatia asked. “Two? Three?”

Kova pointed one steel-gloved finger to the sky, “Higher. Much higher.”

“How much is ‘much higher’?” Itazura asked. “We’ve never had an outbreak larger than five since we’ve sealed them.”