How He Really Feels (He Feels Trilogy) (16 page)

“It was an amazing night. And, by the way, you never did tell me about your New Year’s Eve.”

“I was out with my buddies and they were at
West, that bar down the street from Mahogany. I tried all night to convince them to go to Mahogany, but they kept buying rounds of drinks and shots, and it’s sort of man code when I go out with my buddies that we all split a cab home. Since you were at a different bar, and my buddy John was interested in a girl at West, I couldn’t figure out how to get my group to Mahogany. So I excused myself to the restroom a little before midnight, headed over to find you, kissed you, and headed back. I couldn’t risk Lucy, Jake, and Holly seeing me with you, but something just pulled me like a magnet to you. I knew you were at Mahogany and I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I couldn’t stop picturing your lips. I couldn’t let another day pass without kissing you, and I knew everyone else would be locked up in their own New Year’s kisses.”

“Good plan.
Except I wanted to kiss you all night.”

“Believe me, I wanted that, too. But I couldn’t risk the people we work with seeing us.”

“Good call. I wouldn’t want either one of us to get fired because of some stupid paper you signed when you first started working for McMillan.”

“Me either. But it’s getting harder and harder to stay away from you at work.”

“Oh good. It’s not just me, then.”

He shook his head. “It’s me, too. I can’t keep my hands off of you,” he said, placing his hand on my knee, “and I don’t want to.”

“I don’t want you to,” I said. He took my hand in his and pulled it to his lips, and I sighed in pleasure.

“So your worst experience with drugs or alcohol?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Worst would be all hangovers I’ve ever had when I said I’d never drink again. I’ve never done drugs except I tried pot once. I was really paranoid the whole time and realized it wasn’t a hobby I wanted to take up.”

“Smart girl.
I used to smoke pot in college. I was stupid back then.”

I nodded.

“I wised up. Okay, new question. Last one.”

“43. When were you last in a fight? What caused it and who won?”

“You go first.”

“Um… I got in a fight with my sister at Christmas. It wasn’t anything major, but she’s older and I’m the baby, and I tend to get teased a lot because I’m the youngest. Well she took it too far and it pissed me off.”

“What did she say?”

“Just that I am a spoiled princess.
So I told her she was a bratty bitch, and we didn’t talk for an hour. Then my nephew came up and gave me a hug because he could tell I was in a bad mood, and he asked me what was wrong, and then my sister came over and apologized. So technically I won because I didn’t apologize first, but I was about to.”

He laughed.

“What’s yours?”

He sighed. “I’m currently in a fight with my mother.”

“About what?”

“She made my brother and me go to California for Christmas. It’s a long story, but let’s just
say that we aren’t currently speaking, and no one has won the fight yet.”

“What do you mean that she ‘made’ you go visit her?”

“She makes us come to her every year. She doesn’t offer to cover any expenses, but she turns on the waterworks and gives us guilt trips when we tell her we would rather stay in Arizona. She refuses to let us stay in her house, so we have to get a hotel room when we visit her. She has enough money to buy the state of Texas, but she can’t be bothered with her children.”

I covered his hand on my knee with my own hand. “I’m so sorry, Nick. That sounds awful.”

“It is. But I'm used to it. I can handle it because I’m the older brother, but I get protective when she starts badgering Josh about shit. ‘Why aren’t you married? Why don’t you make more money? Why don’t you get a better job?’”

“She says that stuff?”

He nodded.

“God, that’s horrible.”

“That’s not even the half of it. The guy she’s married to is verbally abusive to Josh and me, and she does nothing to stop it. Before we left, I told her that this was the last Christmas we would be spending in California. She didn’t take it well, and we haven’t spoken since.”

“It sounds like you needed to stand up to her.”

“I know I did. But it was hard.”

I squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry.”

He smiled at me. “Thanks, baby.”

“More questions?”

“I think I’m good. Let’s save some for the ride home.”

“Sounds good.”
I placed the book back in the glove compartment.

Nick turned on the radio, and we chatted and sang songs, the mood much lighter for the rest of the trip. We pulled into the driveway of my parents’ cabin just after 10:30. There was snow on the ground, and the air was a cool twenty-four degrees. It was too dark to show the cabin’s outer beauty to Nick until the next morning. I fumbled in the dark with the key, and I opened the front door. The house was freezing. I found the light switch and flicked it on, and the beautiful cabin came to life. I shivered, my teeth chattering as I made my way to the thermostat, which was set at fifty-five degrees. I kicked it up to seventy-two, and Nick came in behind me carrying our bags.

“Wow,” he said, taking in the beauty of the cabin. To his right was the family room area featuring a large, comfortable sectional couch pointed at brick fireplace and stone mantle. To the left was a reading area, complete with bookcases and two leather recliners. The first floor had no televisions. The entire first floor had hardwood floors, and across from the family room was an office complete with Wi-Fi (a convenience put in by my parents after we had stopped using the cabin as a family when we were younger; they did it for potential renters). Across from the reading area was the huge kitchen with granite countertops, a full gourmet cooking range, and a large eating area with a huge, round pine table that seated eight comfortably (ten squeezed in, I remembered from some of our family trips).

I took Nick on the upstairs tour, too, and he hauled the bags up the stairs and around with us. There was a loft area with satellite television and four bedrooms, each with its own bathroom, walk-in closet, and television. The master bedroom, where we finally ended the tour, was something to behold. It was a huge room with a king-sized bed and dark wood furniture, and the bathroom featured ceramic tile countertops and a ceramic tiled shower.

Nick was impressed. “This is much nicer than I pictured when you said your parents had a cabin,” he said, setting our bags down on the dresser.

“Wait until you see it in the daylight. It’s amazing.”

He pulled me into his arms. “You’re amazing. Do you know that?”

I blushed. And then I nodded. “So I’ve been told,” I said, noticing again the exact hazel shade of his eyes.

He chuckled. “Well let me tell you again.” He gazed into my eyes. “You’re beautiful, smart, funny, caring, and so incredibly sexy.” He brushed his lips against mine just once, and then he pulled back and looked at me in wonder. “You’re the first person I’ve ever talked to about my mother.”

My heart broke for him. I wished he had as good a relationship with his mother as I had with mine. “I feel honored that you feel comfortable enough with me to share that part of your life,” I said.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this comfortable with anyone else before.” His voice was low and sexy.

I knew what he meant. I kissed him once, and he pulled me close against him so that I could feel his heart beating against my cheek. It felt perfect there in his arms. We stood in silence for awhile, both lost in thought as we held one another.

“I have a question,” he started, breaking the silence as he pulled back from me. He took a deep breath, anxiety written in his eyes. He still held my body against his, and I was starting to feel the familiar pull to him, the need to have him, to feel his skin against mine.

“What is it?”

“Are you, um… Are you seeing anyone else?”

I shook my head.

He kissed the tip of my nose. “I’m not seeing anybody else, either.”

“So we’re exclusive?” I asked, knowing my tone was more hopeful than it should have been.

Nick nodded, and then he smiled. My heart fluttered in my chest; my hands were sweating, my knees shaking once again. He wrapped his arms more tightly around me and pulled me close against him, and we were lost to the rest of the world as our kiss turned fierce, his mouth covering mine as his tongue entered my mouth for the familiar erotic dance.

I felt his hands moving up and down my back and into my hair, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, my hands finding the back of his head and my fingers twining gently in his hair. His tongue moved slowly, sensually against mine, and I knew I was in for a fantastic weekend.

He took his time with me, building the anticipation between us as he gently moved his hands down my body, grazing against all of my most sensitive areas. I would never, ever get tired of feeling his fingers on my body or feeling his lips against mine. I felt tingles racing up my spine and a tightening deep in my belly as I anticipated what was coming next.

Nick backed me slowly to the bed, and then we both fell onto it, our lips never breaking our carnal connection. His hands started their arousing journey under my shirt to my breasts, which he grasped in his hands over my bra. I reached under his shirt, too, and felt his perfectly cut muscles under my hands, that tightening feeling down low intensifying with every passing second in his arms.

He lifted my shirt over my head and then took care of his own, and he kissed his way across my belly and up my sternum to my chest, up to my neck, and then his lips found mine again. I moaned into him, lost in the pleasure that only he could give me.

I kicked off my shoes as we kissed, and I heard his drop to the floor a second later. And then he reached for the button on my jeans, and he unzipped them. He hovered over me and grasped the top of my jeans, slowly pulling them down and throwing them onto the floor. I lay in just my panties, a deep purple silky pair I chose specifically for Nick.

He gazed at me lying there, and then his eyes met mine and he grinned wickedly. He kissed his way back down my body to my panties, and he grasped the hem between his teeth. “I like these,” he growled.

Fuck, he was sexy. And when he did things and said things like that, I could hardly handle the lust I felt for him.

He crawled his way back up to me, hovering over me as he kissed me with his deep, aggressive intensity. Just when I thought I couldn’t take any more, he reached down to remove his jeans and boxers, and then he motioned for me to lose my panties as he pulled on a condom. A moment later he hovered over me, and I felt him as he settled between my legs. His lips covered mine and then he rammed into me, and I felt complete having him inside of me. I arched up into him, and he groaned in satisfaction as my fingernails trailed down his back. It was just us; nothing else existed outside of our space together. My world was perfect when I was locked in Nick’s embrace, when our bodies became one.

He slid in and out of me as his lips assaulted mine, his heavenly tongue mixing with the sensation of him moving inside of me as his left arm supported his weight next to me and his right hand moved up the length of my naked body. It all became too much for me as he found that magical spot inside of me that sent my body quivering into a loud and intense orgasm, and he pressed up hard into me three times more as he found his own thunderous release.

The next morning, I was up first, the thought of the Cabrillo account on my mind. I wanted to finish the work and have it out of the way so that we could enjoy the rest of the weekend without any obligations hanging over us.

I put on the coffee and wandered around the first floor of the cabin, reminiscing about all of the fun times I had had at that very place; some with family, some with friends, and even a few with old boyfriends. I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat at the kitchen table, staring out the window at the Ponderosa Pine trees Payson was famous for. A thick blanket of snow covered the ground, and the ice coating the trees glinted in the morning sun. The beautiful view reminded me of so much from my past.

I recalled the time Travis and I had come up to this very place when we were in college. One of our “Friends with Benefits” weekends, in fact, took place right in this cabin. Since at the time I was too young to feel comfortable sleeping in the master bedroom, we took up residence in one of the guest rooms. It was strange to me that Travis would pop into my mind at that time, but he was familiar. He was friendship; he was home. All this with Nick was so brand new, and I was feeling a mass of emotions that were also brand new to me. I had been in love in the past, but never like this. And I knew for sure that it was love. The way I felt when he held me in his arms, when he kissed me, when he made love to me… it was stronger and more powerful than any connection I had ever had before. It felt like he was my other half, like I wasn’t whole until he was there, too. He was my soul mate; the one person put on this earth specifically for me to find. And now that he was part of my life, even the thought of being without him cut me to the core and brought tears to my eyes. I was in deep, and knowing that he felt the same way made my heart feel safe with him.