How He Really Feels (He Feels Trilogy) (32 page)

“Sure. Who you calling?” he asked, handing me his phone.

“Trav. Is his number in here?” I asked.

“Should be,” he answered.

I found “Travis Miller” in his contact list and clicked the call button. It rang twice, and then Trav’s familiar voice answered, his tone both hurt and angry: “Are you calling to tell me about how you’ve won?”

“It’s Julianne.”

“Oh. Hi.”

“What do you mean that he’s won?” I asked.

He sighed. “Julianne, if I knew that this was you, I never would have answered.”

“How are you?”

“Shitty.”

“I can tell.”

“I thought about calling you,” he said. “But I didn’t.”

“My cell phone was wrecked in the accident I got into in your apartment complex lot yesterday,” I blurted out.

Silence greeted me.

“Travis?”

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice strained.

“I will be.
Broken wrist, concussion, nasty cuts on my head and arm. But I’ve got plenty of painkillers, so I’ll be okay.”

“I’m sorry, Julianne. Feel better,” he said weakly.

“Travis, I’m so sorry about what happened between us,” I started.

“I’m sorry about your accident. I can’t go beyond that with you right now.”

“Please listen to me. I have—”

He cut me off. “I can’t do this. I’ve got to go. Get well soon.”

Even though he had hung up the phone, I held it to my ear until I heard the call end. I slowly lowered it as tears formed in the corners of my eyes.

“He hates me,” I said to Nick, the tears spilling over onto my cheeks.

“He could never hate you. He’s just hurting,” Nick responded, taking my hand in his. He gently rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb.

“Is this hard for you?” I asked, sniffling.

“It’s hard for me that you’re in pain,” he responded, dodging the question I was really asking.

“I mean with me and Travis.”

“I know what you meant. It’s killing me that you want to talk to someone who you slept with when you and I were broken up. But I made my bed, and it’s my only option to lie in it. What you have with Travis, the friendship, I mean, is special, and I refuse to be the one who stands in the way of that. I know who you’re coming home to, and that’s all that matters to me. But I mean it when I say that it’s hard for me that you’re in pain. Physically or emotionally, I don’t want you to hurt. I want to do all I can to protect you.”

I nodded my head as the tears continued to freefall.

“It’s going to be okay, Julianne,” he tried to comfort me, placing his hand on my knee.

“I know,” I sniffled, looking out the window so that he couldn’t see the tears still falling.

When we arrived at Nick’s place, he carried me to his family room couch, where Eric and Josh were seated in the leather recliners. They both stood up when we entered the room. Nick gently placed me down on the couch as Josh made his way over to me. He knelt on the floor and gave me a hug. “Are you okay?” he asked, genuinely concerned.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Hey, Julianne,” Eric smiled. “You gave us a real scare.”

I smiled feebly. “Sorry.”

Nick carried my belongings to his bedroom while I sat with Eric and Josh. 

“What happened, Jules?” Eric asked.

“I’m not really sure,” I said. “I was turning out of a parking lot, and the next thing I remember, I was waking up in the hospital. Now I have no phone and no car.”

“That sucks, dude. Let us know what we can do to help,” Eric said.

“You’re really sweet. I think I’d just like to close my eyes. These painkillers are making me so tired,” I said.

“We’ll leave so you can get some rest,” Josh got up.

“No, no. I’ll go up to Nick’s room and lay down there,” I said, leaning forward to stand up and falling backward with dizziness from the pain meds.

“Oh no you don’t!”
Josh said sternly, running over to my side. “Don’t overdo it. Let me take you up,” he said, scooping me into his arms much the same way Nick had. I felt a similar thrill of excitement that I did when I was close to Nick. I loved having all of these hot guys fawning over me even though it was because I had been in a terrible accident.

Josh deposited me on Nick’s bed, and Nick sat with me for awhile. He drew a bubble bath for me, and then he helped me up to go to the bathroom. He sat with me while I soaked in the tub (which felt like heaven), and then he stood with me as I brushed my teeth and removed my
contact lenses. I was grateful that he was such a wonderful caretaker. Then I fell back into Nick’s bed and fell fast asleep.

At some point, Nick crept out of the room, because when I woke up a few hours later, it was dark in the room and I was alone. I slept away the majority of that day and the next, trying to gain my strength back. My parents came by to visit for awhile and sat downstairs while I was sleeping. When I woke up for a few minutes, I idly wondered how their conversation was going, how much my parents were embarrassing me without me even there to defend myself. I knew that Nick had made an incredible impression, and my parents were in love with him. They loved that he was taking care of me, that he was providing for me, and that he cared so much about what I wanted and what I needed. And they didn’t even seem concerned that I was moving in with him, or that I was sleeping in his bed with him. I was old enough to make my own decisions, but I was still their little girl.

I hated missing out on Nick and my parents getting to know each other, and I also hated missing out on work. I loved what I did for a living, most of the time, and Nick’s time at McMillan was almost up. In fact, through my haze of painkillers and sleep, I wondered if the day I spent sleeping was his last day at work. And not only was it possible that I missed out on that, but I couldn’t even give Davidson my two weeks until I returned to work.

I lay in bed awake for quite some time, when suddenly I really had to pee. I opened my eyes to look at the clock: it was 7:15 in the evening and it had just started getting dark outside. I sat up – too quickly, I think, because I felt really dizzy. I put my head back down against the soft pillows of Nick’s bed, wondering when I would ever feel normal again. Everyone warned me that I would need to take it slow, but I didn’t think that just sitting up in bed would take so much out of me. I tried again, slowly this time. I gingerly swung my legs over the side of the bed, and using the nightstand for
support, I stood up and shuffled my way slowly to the bathroom. I made it without keeling over, even though my head was swimming. I peed, brushed my teeth, and washed my face, and then I returned to the bed and lay back down. I couldn’t believe how much one short trip to the bathroom had taken out of me. I snuggled under the covers and closed my eyes, trying to fall back asleep, but I needed something. Nick gave me his house phone to call his cell phone if I needed anything, and suddenly I needed
him
.

I dialed his number, and he answered on the first ring, “Hey, baby. You okay?”

“Yeah. I just miss you.”

“I’ll be right up. Do you need anything?”

“Just you.”

He hung up and a minute later he was walking into my room, a glass of ice water in his hand. He looked sexy as hell in a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt.

“What are you guys doing down there?” I asked when he came in, flipping the blanket back so he could sit next to me. He closed the door behind him.

He set the glass down on the nightstand and sat on the side of the bed next to me. “We were just watching the news.”

“Anything interesting in the world?”

“Not really.”

“How’s it going with my parents?”

“Great. Your sister was released Monday morning from the hospital.”

“How’s she doing? And the baby?”

“Everybody’s fine. And I love your parents. They are wonderful people.”

“I know.”

“And they raised a wonderful daughter.”

I smiled.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“I’m okay. I got up to pee and felt dizzy. But I just needed you.”

“Oh yeah?” he asked, kicking off his shoes and getting under the covers next to me. He spooned me. “I need you, too,” he whispered into my hair.

I turned toward him, gently pressing my lips to his for a quick kiss. He pulled my body close to his, resting his hand on my hip. He brought his lips to mine and kissed me, gently at first, but becoming more intense very quickly.

His hand that was resting on my hip moved to my back as he pressed my body into his. His other hand tangled in my hair, and the kiss turned hot. He stopped suddenly. “Is this okay?” he whispered worriedly.

I was suddenly so hot for him that I couldn’t imagine not having sex with him at that moment. I nodded, pressing my lips to his again. I took my good hand and ran it along his back, inside the top of his jeans. My wrist in the cast rested gently on the pillow by my head. I lifted his shirt up with my good hand so that I could touch his sexy, chiseled abs. He pulled off his shirt and then turned me so that I was on my back, and he hovered over me, kissing me and touching me. He lifted my t-shirt over my head and kissed me between my breasts, and then he left a trail of kisses down my stomach while he touched me gently, as if I would break. He pulled my shorts and panties off of me in one smooth motion so that I was lying naked on his bed. I tugged on his waistband, and he took the hint that I wanted him out of his clothes, too. We kissed naked for awhile as my desire for him burned hotter and hotter. Just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, he slipped himself inside of me, and he made gentle love to me.

When we were both satisfied, he turned me so my back was to him. He held my
body close against his. “I love you, Julianne,” he whispered hoarsely.

“I love you, too.”

I turned and saw soft tears coming silently from his eyes. I brushed the tears away wordlessly. I kissed his cheek and hugged him as tightly as I could. We sat in silence for several moments, and then he spoke.

“I was worried when
you weren’t answering my calls, when you didn’t show up for work. A million thoughts went through my head. What if I never saw you again? What if… I couldn’t think that way. I was just relieved when you called.” He stopped for a moment, emotional. “It just made me realize how much I love you and how much I can’t live without you,” he whispered.

Tears stung my eyes at his emotion for me. I kissed him again, overcome at his words and the love I felt emanating from him. “Nick, you don’t have to live without me. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

He nodded. “You have become so important to me in my life in such a short period of time. I just want you to know that.”

“I know, baby,” I said, gently touching his face with my fingertips. “I feel the exact same way.”

He cupped my chin and kissed me, the kind of kiss that left me breathless and wanting more. And right then, my stomach killed the moment by growling super loudly. We both giggled. “Hungry?” he asked.

“Yeah, I guess I am,” I said.

“Do you want me to bring you food?”

“I think I’d like to get out of bed for awhile and stretch my legs.”

“Well you just had them stretched out in the air,” he teased.

I giggled and swatted his arm. “Shut up and carry me downstairs,” I mock commanded him. After putting his clothes back on, he helped me back into mine and carried me down the stairs.

“Hey, look who’s up,” my dad said as both my parents, Eric, and Josh turned their attention from the television to me.

“How are you feeling, honey?” my mom asked, and Eric muted the television.

I wanted to say that after the hot sex with Nick, I was feeling much better. Instead, I said, “A little better. Still kind of dizzy, though.”

“Well let’s get you some food. I’ve got some lasagna in the freezer; does that sound good to everyone?” Nick asked.

Everyone agreed that lasagna sounded fantastic, and he got busy on getting the food in the oven. He made me a snack of cheese and crackers while we waited for dinner, and an hour later, we were all seated at the kitchen table enjoying a gourmet selection of salad, breadsticks, and lasagna. Nick was quite the host, and everyone was sharing a bottle of wine (except me – no alcohol with the damn painkillers).

We laughed through the whole meal at Nick’s stories from when he waited tables at Chili’s, and then he served cookies for dessert. I observed my parents and how they acted around Nick and his roommates, and it was clear to me that they had grown close to Nick very quickly. They loved him, and that made me happy. I was just sad that I was missing out on the time they were spending together as I slept and worked toward recovery, but the bond that was growing between my boyfriend and my parents was worth it.

We played some poker after dinner and then the exhaustion hit me. I said goodbye to my parents; they left, and then Nick helped me up the stairs to bed, and I fell fast asleep. When I woke up the next morning, I felt loads better. Nick was sleeping quietly next to me, and a glance at the clock told me that it was 7:30. I got up and crept toward the bathroom, and the dizziness was mostly gone. Now my wrist just hurt.