How I Became Lotus Raine...the Porn Star (17 page)

He crouched down in front of me. “You should have told me that.”

“I was thinking that I might like it if you were involved,” I admitted as I stood back up.

He laughed in an amused way. Not a way that made me feel stupid about what I had said. In fact, as of then, none of his reactions had made me feel stupid. All the self-doubt or weariness I felt was simply a self-induced battle that Brent unknowingly was slowly helping me claim victory to.

He did his cute thumbnail biting thing that I’d noticed he did quite often and then grabbed my hand with his free one. I didn’t protest as I let him walk us around. We didn’t go straight back to the apartment. He made sure I still worked out my legs even if we weren’t running them off. It was nice though. I couldn’t recall a time I had actually taken the time to explore the town I was living in.

The town was vibrant and alive and I felt ashamed that I never allowed myself to see it all. But I think it was something else Brent was responsible for. He was all about taking life in and seeing everything for what it truly was—whether it was good/bad or beautiful/ugly. He appreciated it all, and I was slowly understanding why. You can’t have one without the other. Everything has it’s polar opposite in life. Without one or the other, there’s no way to really appreciate anything.

Brent was my polar opposite when we first met. He didn’t push or pull me. He did both. He pushed the person I had worked to become to the sidelines and pulled out the person I had tried to keep hidden, front and center. Since he wasn’t forceful with either, I was more acceptable to allowing the evolution of Lotus Raine to take place. Something that was unplanned on both of our parts.

Brent unlocked the door and pushed it open, allowing me to step in the cool apartment first—all gentlemen like.

“I’m gonna jump in the shower,” he said suggestively as he shut the door. “Wanna join me?” He then waggled his eyes and I laughed at his playfulness.

My phone rang and I walked to the bar in the kitchen to see who it was. It was Reggie.

“I’ll be in there in a bit.” I seductively licked my lip before breaking out into a full grin.

“Better fuckin’ hurry,” he yelled as he walked backwards to his room. If strutting backwards was possible, then that’s what I’d call what he was doing.

“Hello?” I heard on the other end and looked down forgetting I had pushed answer.

“Hey, Reg.” I cleared my throat while watching Brent as he tortured me by undressing the whole way to his bedroom.

“Umm, did I catch you at a bad time?” I could hear the accusation in her voice.

“Nope. Just got back from a run.” She laughed. Hard. “What’s so funny?” I tried to sound tough and pissed but I ended up laughing to.

“Like I need to explain.” I could picture her sitting at her make up counter at work, holding her hand out as she inspected her manicure. “Anyways, are you going to be at class tonight?”

I had forgotten all about our class. Not like I would have went if I had remembered since I was on assignment and all. And since I’d most likely be out of commission in Brent’s bed for the remainder of the day. I was conflicted at the thought. I liked the idea of being trapped and wrapped up with him that whole week, but even though I was closer to finding out who I was, more than I had ever been, there were still things I didn’t want to lose about myself along the way. Such as my best friend and the few hobbies I did have.

“I’m not going to be able to make it until this weeks over.”

Reggie let out a huff, “I figured. Just thought I’d ask.”

“How ‘bout you come over later? I’ll text you the address.”

After Reggie agreed to stop by later that night, I pulled my tank off and started heading for Brent’s room. I groaned when the doorbell rang and contemplated not answering it. I really debated not answering and just pretending I hadn’t heard it, but before I could even do that, the damn door slowly opened and a female voice erupted through the silent apartment.

“Cruise? It’s Roxy. You here?” Her eyes found mine as she swept the building from left to right. I was stuck in place unable to run to his room or greet the intruder who had welcomed themselves into our sex dynasty.

“Who are you?” she asked with a slight snarl as she fully made her way in, shutting the door behind her.

I hated confrontation, mainly with the female species. Not that I didn’t have a mind or a quick tongue to spitefully say the things my mind whipped together, I just didn’t want to stir the pot so to speak. But working with Rebecca long enough had also shown me that I really didn’t have to put up with catty bullshit. I was about to get snooty back with her. Or at least reply what my name was without sounding like a timid little girl.

“Lucy, I thought you were going to join me…” I heard from behind and turned to see a dripping wet Brent. In that moment I was so thankful he had a towel tightly wrapped around his waist. I’m sure this woman had already seen the goods, and in five more days, they’d be back out for the world to see, but I just wanted them to be for my eyes, mouth, and body until then.

Roxy let out a light gasp and I knew it couldn’t be because she was surprised a porn star was about to have sex. We were both staring at him, and how damn good he looked wet and half-naked. It was then that I really got it—any sort of liquid covering a guy makes him look ten times sexier.

“Ahh, hey Roxy,” Brent stammered momentarily after the shock of our unexpected guest wore off.

“Look at you,” she cooed. “I’ve missed you, Cruise.” She walked up and her heels clanked against the hardwood floor with each step.

“Cruise?” I murmured and he quickly glanced at me, giving me a slight smile.

“It’s been awhile, Roxy,” Brent said, playing it cool.

“Yeah, it has. I think about a year since our last taping.”

Her words made me vomit in my throat. I leaned over and picked up my tank, feeling slightly self-conscious around the slinky dressed woman with bigger than Dallas tits who was standing in front of us. I knew she was going to close the distance and hug him, and squeeze her fakeness all into his wet, clean chest. I think I hated her more for that then I did the fact that she’d had sex with him.

“Well, I’m gonna go for a run and let the two of you catch up,” I gritted through a smile that was as fake as her chest.

Brent eyed me knowing that I was lying, but not saying anything. I’m sure he felt as equally awkward as I had. Or maybe he didn’t. It was his profession and all. For all I knew they were going to be catching up in more ways than one. That thought made me double vomit in my throat.

“Lacy, was it?” the woman said smoothly knowing it was the wrong name.

“Lucy,” I said as I propped a hand on my hip and practically glared at her. She had the upper hand in the situation and she knew it.

“Close enough.” She waved off with a smile and it made me want to knock her veneers out. “How is it that you and Cruise know each other?”

I wanted to tell her that I didn’t know anyone named Cruise, but I didn’t.

I slapped Brent’s damp shoulder, hoping it stung. “I’ll just let Cruise here explain.”

“Lucy’s here working,” Brent admitted and the fake smile I was wearing slid off revealing my true state. He didn’t lie. Not one word of that was a lie. But for some reason it felt like a lie. Or maybe I’d been lying to myself the whole time thinking I could partake in what we were doing and not let feelings get involved.

“Oh, that’s nice.” The bitch smirked at me.

“Gotta go,” was all I managed to get out as I quickly grabbed my phone and started walking towards the door.

“Lucy,” I heard Brent call out but I ignored him.

“Have fun on that run of yours,” I heard the humor in her voice. “I’m so lucky I was born with such a trim body that requires little work to upkeep.”

“Yeah, the money you put into that upkeep is evident,” I said as I whipped the door open and let it slam behind me. I heard her let out an angry sounding gasp and it made me smile. I may not be as self-confident—more like conceited—as she was about her body, but it didn’t mean I was going to let her inconspicuously talk smack about mine.

“YOU LEFT HIM alone with one of his ex-co-stars?” Shepard asks damn near jumping out of his seat with disbelief.

I laugh at his incredulousness. “I’m not his mom, Shepard.”

“I know. I know. But still, were you not worried that they’d hook up for old time’s sake while you were gone?”

“The thought had crossed my mind. But the truth was, if he was going to have sex with her, it would have happened whether I was there or not. And I just didn’t want to stick around with her there.”

“What’d you end up doing? I know you didn’t actually go for a run,” he says with humor in his voice.

LEAVING IN SUCH a hurry, I didn’t think it through that I barely had any clothing on. Sure, some people wear close to nothing all the time. And my outfit was totally work out appropriate. But I didn’t have the intentions of doing any type of working out. The only thing I left with was my phone. So I was pretty much screwed because I was really wanting a nice extra-large coffee.

I had a weird thought to run back up and grab my wallet and even my keys. Maybe even change while I was at it. But I didn’t want to be that girl. The one you read about that makes excuses to drop back in to scope out the situation. I wouldn’t have been spying on them, not fully, but the fact that it could’ve been a conclusion on their end led me to stay away for a while.

“I’m sure they’re just talking about porn stuff,” I said to Reggie as I walked down the sidewalk. An older lady sitting at the small café’ gave me the stink eye at hearing me say porn.

And I thought I was a prude.

“Ahh, Lucy. Most porn stars don’t talk about porn. They show it.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Don’t remind me.” I sighed heavily as I sat down on the steps that led to the library. “She called him Cruise.”

“And he answered to it?”

“Yeah.” I glanced around, making sure I didn’t have too many prude ears nearby before putting Reggie on speakerphone.

“Well, I’m sure most porn stars don’t use their real name. Just like movie stars.”

I pulled up a Google search and typed in Cruise porn star and Cruz Storm pulled up along with a shit load of naked pics. I damn near fainted with his cock taking up my screen, forgetting that my safe search wasn’t on. It wasn’t like I was in the business of looking up nakedness on my phone.

I couldn’t stop. I kept scrolling through all the pictures knowing that I was blushing and rubbing my legs together as I sat there. I’m sure to some I might have looked like I needed to pee. But if they had only known. I even forgot I was on the phone with Reggie until she started yelling at me with her very un-prude-like words.

I quickly turned my speaker off. “Found him.” Was all I could say as I put the phone back to my ear.

“And fondled yourself while you were at it?” she questioned with such a knowing tone.

“Fondled just sounds all sort of wrong when referring to a woman touching herself.”

“It’s all the same, Lucy. I know it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours since we last talked, but have you guys added any more notches?”

“It’s a list, not a bedpost,” I insisted. “And no. Freaking Ruby, Rosey, Roxy…whatever her name is, showed up and ruined our shower time.”

“Oh, bummer. And you left, allowing them to rehearse scenes in private. How kind of you.” Reggie’s statement had me kicking myself for leaving. But I didn’t want her to know. And I didn’t want her to know that the possibility they could’ve been doing just that, bothered me. Because for it to bother me, means I would have to like Brent…or something.

“We’re not together. We are nothing. And we can fuck whomever we want. It’s not like I had to sign a contract or something.”

“Too bad,” Reggie purred, “Anyways, what did the internet have to say about Mr. Cruz? Did it happen to have a biography that lists his age, height, weight, penis size, and hobbies?”

“I highly doubt porn stars are listed on Wikipedia,” I snickered. Then pulled my phone away and began typing in his full name just to see if there was some sort of stat sheet. I didn’t dare hit my speaker button that time. Reggie’s voice carried plenty well on its own.