How Many Chances (9 page)

When she reached the apartment block where he lived.
She stood and looked up at the building all the way up to the top floor. She knew he would be anxious about her whereabouts. She had been gone almost two hours now. But she couldn’t face him just yet. Instead she turned and headed to the park across the street. She found a bench that was empty and she sat down. She pulled the remains of her sandwich from her bag and, pulling her legs up to her chest she began to pick at the sandwich.

She sat and watched a man with his son, Ally reckoned about three years old, playing b
all. She watch as the man taught the little boy to take penalty shots. She smiled when the little boy made a goal and he threw his hands up into the air and cheered with joy and wiggled his little body, no doubt like he had probably seen he football hero doing on the TV.

She thought of
Cole playing here in the park with Ben and her heart ached she wasn’t the one who had given him this. The gift of unconditional love. She remembered when she was a little girl and just how much she had adored her own father. How everything she did was for his approval. But it had never been enough. She never felt she was good enough.

She knew Cole would be so different to her father. She knew he would love Ben unconditionally in return and the thought made her smile.

She suddenly got the sense she was no longer alone. It made her smile at just how in tune her body was to Cole’s. How it came alive every time he was close to her.

“How long are you going to stand
back there?” she asked never taking her eyes off the little boy and his father.

“How did you know it was me?” He asked as he walked around the bench and sat down next to her.

“I just did,” she turned and smiled at him. “I always know it’s you.”

He reached for her hand and took it in his. He brought it to his mouth and kissed it softly.

“I am sorry things have become so crazy,” Cole breathed out, his eyes fixed on their hands. “I never wanted any of this for us. I just want us to be happy. But it seems like it is one thing after another. I want to make you happy and I need to keep you safe. I don’t ever want you hurt again. But I seem to keep messing up and I end up hurting you anyway.”

“Cole you have to stop
this,” she sighed as she pulled her hand from his and took his face in both of her hands. “I am not some delicate flower. You can’t keep treating me like one. If you love me then you have to trust me. Trust I love you enough to take whatever happens. Having GI Joe checking on me and you hiding things from me is… well it’s suffocating.”

I suffocate you?” Cole said looking shocked and a little but hurt.

“No,” Ally half laughed and half sighed. “But you need to stop trying to fix things. Not everything is your problem to fix.”

“I just want us to be okay,” Cole said as Ally softly brushed his face with her fingertips.

“We are okay,” she whispered and smiled warmly at him. “We are together, nothing else matters. Cole you have to believe I love you. Please learn to trust me. I promise, I am going nowhere.”

“You are amazing, Ally Brody,” Cole said, now taking her face in his
hands. “God I love you so much.” He whispered before his brought his lips softly to her mouth.

For the first time, Ally felt an internal strength rise inside her and she knew she could do this.

She knew no matter what happened from now on, she and Cole could face it together.

Cole took Ally out for lunch to an intimate little Italian a short walk from where he lived. Nick was not happy about Cole choosing to walk instead of taking the car. But Cole insisted that the paps were nothing to worry about. That he had taken care of them.

When Cole brought up the subject of going to visit Ben, Ally instant
ly became uncomfortable. She knew it was something she would have to do eventually, but she also knew it was something she still wasn’t ready for.

Cole couldn’t hide his disappointment when Ally suggested that
, as it had been over a week since he had been to visit Ben, that maybe it would be the best thing for him to go on his own and clear the air with his mother. Especially after the stories that had run in the paper that morning.

The truth was she couldn’t have cared less about that tart. As far as she was concerned
, she knew exactly what she was doing when she climbed into bed with Cole. And nothing would ever make her feel any different. But she wasn’t ready to be dragged into a situation she really wanted no part of.

Cole reluctantly agreed she was right but the disappointment on his face was very clear.
After lunch he dropped Ally back to his apartment.

Then, w
hen it was time for him to go see Ben. Cole kissed Ally and hugged her tightly
.
He seemed almost reluctant to let her go.

“You know I have to do this?” Cole sighed against Ally forehead.
“He is my son. I need to be there for him.”

“You don’t need to explain to me, Cole,” Ally said as she closed her eyes and allo
wed him to pull her to him tighter. She breathed in his scent and she felt safe and comfortable in his arms. She wanted to beg him not to go. The thoughts of him there with the woman that had just given him a son made her feel sick to the pit of her stomach.

But he was the child
’s father and needed to do the right thing. “You need to do this. I really do understand that.”

“I won’t be long,” Cole assured her as he kissed her forehead once again
. “And Annette will be here soon, so if you need anything you just let her know.”

“I think I will just go and d
o some reading,” Ally smiled at Cole. “I will be okay, I promise.”

“Good,” Cole replied as he kissed
softly on the lips. He looked into her eyes and smiled. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” she said
with a smile before she kissed him back.

S
he stood and watched as he walked to the front door, followed closely by Nick. She frown as the door closed and she was left standing in Cole’s luxury penthouse alone. Everything seemed so different here. For starters they never seemed to be alone anymore. Nick was always lurking somewhere around and Ally really didn’t like him. Ally had tried to ignore the sideways glances of disapproval she got from time to time from him but she knew he didn’t think much of her either.

She wished they could just go back to Dublin and back to what they had before they arrived in London.
But then Ally laughed out loud at that thought. Life in Dublin hadn’t exactly been plain sailing either. And for the first time in a week she thought about what had happened with Jason. She had refused to let him enter her thoughts. But memories of that night invaded her mind.

She quickly shut those thoughts down. She was not going to give Jason one more minute of her time.

She sighed and turned and made her way to Cole’s bedroom, the whole time wondering would they ever just have a simple easy life, because so far it had been anything but.

She pulled her Kindle from her bag
, kicked off her shoes and climbed onto Cole’s huge bed. She curled herself into a tiny ball and began to read the latest book she was reading until her eyes grew heavy and finally she could fight the sleep no longer.

  ************************************************

“Hey sleepy head,” Cole whispered as he pressed his lips to Ally’s cheek.

“
Hmmm,” Ally sighed as she stretched and her eyes flicked opened to find Coles smiling face looking down at her.

“Hi,” Cole said as he smile widened
.

“Hi yourself,” she grinned back
up at him. “How did it go?”

Cole sighed and
just smiled but his smile didn’t reach his eyes once again.

“That bad, huh?” Ally
reached up and softly brushed Cole’s face. “What can I do to make it better?”

He pressed his head against her forehead.

“Bathe with me,” he whispered as he kissed her lips softly. Without another word he stood up and held out his hand to her. She took it and climbed down off the bed. He led her to the bathroom and closed the door behind them.

Ally stood and watched Cole as he reached
over and turned on the water in the bath.

He looked stressed and worn out. She wanted to push him on what had happened
but she didn’t.

He turned and looked at Ally giving her that look that always sent her insides into freefall.
The look that said he wanted her right here, right now. Her breath caught in her throat as he slowly stepped towards her.

When he reached her, he took her by the chin and tilted her face up to his and claimed her mouth. She closed her eyes and pressed her body to his.

He dropped his hand to the hem of her top. He took hold of it and eased it up her body, breaking their kiss briefly to pull the top up over her head. Slamming his mouth back to her, Cole wrapped her in his arms and pulled her closer to him.

She dropped her hand to the waistband of his trousers and undid his buckle and
then his button and zipper. Then she pulled his shirt from his trouser and slid her hands up underneath it.

Cole kissed her hard as he moved
his hands to the waist band of her jeans. He pulled the button open and he slid his hands down the back of her jeans and cupped her back side.

He broke his lips from her and stared into her eyes. Still he didn’
t say a word instead he took a deep breath. Suddenly his mouth was back on hers and he was pushing her jeans down.

Ally could feel the need in him and she wanted him too. She made quick work of the buttons on his shirt, before shoving it from his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor
as she kicked her jeans from around her ankles.

Cole reached for her panties and hooking them with his fingers
, he slid them down her legs, dropping to his knees as he did.

He slipped his arms around her waist and pressed his
lips against her stomach. As he reached down and removed her jeans and panties completely.

Ally ran her hands through his hair and her heart ached with sadness because he seemed so unhappy.

“Cole,” Ally said softly. “What is it? Please talk to me.” But he never said a word. He just continued to trace across her abdomen with soft, gentle kisses.

“Cole, please,” Ally said completely confused by his
behaviour.

But this time instead of
responding, he stood up and claimed her mouth once again. He pinned her against the cold tiled wall of the bathroom, causing her to cry out. She could feel his hard cock against her body. She felt so confused. She wanted him to talk to her. Tell her what was upsetting him. But she wanted him too.

He continued to
kiss her as his hands searched her body until he reached between her legs and suddenly smiled against her mouth.

“I see you want me as much as I want you,”
he said, when he finally spoke. He slipped his fingers between her soft, wet, folds and gently stroked her swollen clit.

“Oh God!”
She cried out as he circled her clit with the tips of his fingers. She tried to push him back “Cole please, we need to talk.”

“I need you,” Cole whispered against her neck as he slowly made his way to her breast. When he reached her erect nipple he sucked it hard then bit it softly.

“Cole!” Ally cried out once again. She closed her eyes and threw her head back as he pushed two fingers inside her.

He stroke her deeply, as his mouth suck
ed and toyed with her nipple.

She could feel herself begin to come apart. She pinched her eyes harder as her breathing grew faster and faster
.

Then as abruptly as he had started
, he stopped. Ally was about to open her mouth to complain but his mouth claimed hers once again. He grabbed her by the hips and lifted her up. Instinctively she wrapped her legs around his body before he slammed her against the wall.

Then before she had time to say anything she could feel the head of his cock against her opening and with one hard thrust, he was buried deep inside her, making her cry out.

She was not really sure why, but Ally didn’t feel comfortable. Something was different and definitely wrong. Cole had always being tender and loving but not now. He was not making love to her, he was fucking her. Pure and simple. She wanted to push him away, but like it does every time, her body betrayed her and reacted to his every touch.

He pushed into her again and again, each time deeper than the last, his mouth ne
ver leaving hers. Ally could feel her body building once again, but this time was bigger. She could feel her whole body begin to quiver and her head spin as she was pushed on higher and higher.

“Ally,” Cole growled against her mouth. “I am going
to come, come with me baby.” His word were like a trigger and she cried out loudly as her orgasm ripped through her body.

Cole slammed into her one more time, as he came and pump himself into her.

Ally slumped in Cole arms, unable to keep her legs wrapped around him. She buried her face against his chest. She wanted to pull away from him but she knew her legs were like jelly and if she had stood she would have fallen down. But she felt cold, like she had just made love to a stranger.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as what he
had just did seemed to dawn on him. “I don’t know what came over me. Today was such a terrible day. All I wanted to do was get lost inside you.”

“Tell me,” Ally said, lifting her head and looking up into his face. “Let me help you.”

“Let’s get into the bath,” Cole said and kissed Ally on the forehead and smiled sadly at her. Ally turned and looked at the bathtub. She had forgotten he had even turned on the taps. Cole sat her on the vanity unit while he finished striping.

When he was finished, he lifted her down off the unit and led her to the bath, holding her hand while she stepped into it. Then he climbed in behind her and pulled her to him and he sunk back into the
water.

They lay for a few minutes before either spoke. Ally wondered if he was going to say anything and was about to ask him when he spoke.

“When Nick woke me this morning and told me about the newspapers,” he began with another deep breath. “All I could think was, you were going to leave. And then when you said you wanted some space. I was sure you wouldn’t come back.”

“
Cole I promised you I wouldn’t leave,” Ally reassured him. “You are going to have to learn to trust me.”

“I understood why you didn’t want
to come with me this afternoon,” he continued. “But I will be honest, I wanted you to be with me so badly. But turned out you were right. When I got to Steph’s, she went nuts. She had seen the pictures in the papers and said I had humiliated her and made her look stupid. She went berserk. She started screaming and throwing things. She was completely out of control”

“What happened?” Ally asked sitting up in the bath and turning to Cole.
He looked at Ally for a moment before he spoke.

“She said if I want to see Ben,” he paused and looked away from Ally and immediately she knew she wasn’t going to like what was coming next.

“Tell me,” she pushed him gently.

“She said I could
n’t see Ben and keep seeing you,” Cole said his eyes finally met hers.

Ally thought she was going to be sick. Was he telling her what she thought he was telling her?
Now the sex and the no talking suddenly all made perfect sense.

“
So you agreed?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper. She could feel the tears pool in her eyes as her heart began to bang harder in her chest. This was it. He was finishing with her.

“I most certainly did not!” he exclaimed. He reached out and took Ally’s face in his hands. “I love Ben Ally. I really do. But I can’t live without you.”

“I don’t understand,” Ally replied as the tears trickled down her face. She wasn’t sure why she was crying.  “Then why are you acting so strangely?”

“Ally, I am sorry
if I scared you gorgeous girl,” he said as he leaned forward and kissed her softly. “I didn’t mean to worry you. When I was with Ben I just kept thinking, why couldn’t he be mine and yours. And I realised if I want to be part of my son’s life. Steph is always going to make life hard for us. And I am scared you will leave me because of her. You are my life. You are the air I breathe. I need you with me every day, just to make this world a more bearable place. I love you so much, Ally”