How to Catch a (Rock) Star (The Dead Hour #1) (10 page)

Once she’d relaxed to the idea and put real effort into it, Lillie got to know the band a bit better, bonding with Eddie over an annoyance with bloggers who only blogged about the mundanities of their everyday lives.

All too soon, the sun started to set and it was getting cold. Lillie had been lying with her head on Jed’s stomach as he played with her hair and she chatted with Chris and Kate about the difference between American and British reality TV. They had come to the conclusion that, as usual in the televisual world, the Americans did it better than the Brits, when Jed noticed her trembling.

‘Okay, we gotta go. Lil’s turning to ice and we need to eat and get to soundcheck before Steve busts a gut.’

Lillie sat up and Jed immediately hugged her into him, rubbing his hands up and down her glacial arms.

‘Jesus. You’re freezing, you should have said,’ he said.

‘I didn’t really notice,’ Lillie said, turning to him for a kiss. He obliged, leaning back and pulling her on top of him. She didn’t fight him like she normally did, always conscious of other people, and he took advantage by rolling her over so that he was on top of her. He hovered above her, staring without saying anything. Lillie stared back, waiting for him to tell her whatever it was that he was struggling with.

Instead, after a long moment, he whispered that he loved her and kissed her nose before rolling back off her, standing up and pulling her to her feet. Lillie put her arms around him for a quick hug, smiling up at him.

‘I know you do,’ she said.

He raised an eyebrow at her and cocked his head to the side, waiting for her to say she loved him too. Lillie raised an eyebrow too.

‘What?’ she said, with a smirk.

‘You know what,’ he replied, trying to grab her as she darted away from him, running off towards the others who had left them to it with a collective sigh. He gave chase, quickly catching up and swinging her into his arms. He bestowed a sloppy lick up the side of her face and she squealed in disgust, struggling in his arms.

‘Uuugh, that’s so gross,’ she squawked, ‘put me down, you vile boy!’

‘No way,’ he laughed. ‘I’ve got you now and I’m gonna keep licking your face until you say it back,’ and he swiped his tongue up her face again before she could turn her head away. Lillie kicked her legs and yelled for help, locking her arms around Jed’s neck in case he dropped her. Johnny and Kate turned to look and Lillie shouted out another plea as Jed tried to lick her ear. She removed an arm from his neck and wiped at her face as Johnny and Kate laughed and turned away.

‘Those two aren’t gonna help you, Lil. Now, all you have to do is say four teeny words, it’s so easy, c’mon, just say it,’ he cajoled.

‘Uuuuuugghhh. Alright, alright!’ she screeched as he delivered another sloppy lick to her cheek. ‘Obviously, I love you too. There. Now stop licking my face like a dog and put me down,’ she demanded.

Jed flashed his special ‘straight to the groin’ grin at her and lowered her to the ground, and Lillie made a big show of wiping her face in disgust as he slung his arm around her shoulders in victory, laughing.

‘You are so gross. Yuck. I’m so going to get you back for that.’ She shuddered theatrically as she wiped her face again. Jed laughed louder and pretended to lick her cheek again.

‘Stop it!’ she shrieked, pulling away from him. He grabbed her hand and pulled her in for a long kiss. Lillie broke it off and looked for the others. ‘C’mon’ she said, tugging him towards the gate. ‘They’ve all disappeared now and time’s getting on. I need to change before we go.’

‘Okay, okay,’ Jed sighed. ‘I can’t wait for us to have some proper time off. Everything seems like such a rush all the time. We always have to be somewhere. I want to spend some time with you. Real time together,’ he moaned.

‘I know. Do we get a break soon?’ She picked up her pace, eager to catch up with the others.

‘Yeah, in a week or so. After tonight and tomorrow here, we’re doing two dates down South and then we’re overnighting to France to do Paris for two nights. I think we have a couple days after that.’

Lillie stopped dead.

‘Oh my God. I love Paris,’ she cried, clapping her hands and jumping up and down in excitement. ‘That is so frigging cool!’

‘Yeah, well. I don’t like the French much. They’re rude,’ Jed said as he tugged her along now.

‘They’re not if you speak French to them. You can’t blame them really. I mean, it’s so arrogant to assume that everyone knows English,’ Lillie said, practically jogging to keep up with him.

‘Well, I don’t speak French. And, anyway, everyone
does
speak English,’ Jed replied.

‘God. Spoken like a true Yank,’ she retorted. ‘Well, I’ll speak French for you and then you’ll see how nice the French can be.’ She paused, lost in thoughts of French bread and butter, Brie and those beautiful French pastries.... ‘Mmmmm. I love French food. Freshly baked baguettes, all those wonderful smelly cheeses. Patisseries full of yumminess. Oh man. I might have to go jogging or something with all the food I plan on eating!’

Jed gave her a lascivious look and opened his mouth to say something before she put her fingers over his lips, fighting the urge to stroke them.

‘Don’t even say it. I know exactly what you’re thinking. Hopefully, I’ll be feeling, you know, better by then. Otherwise, jogging it is.’

He winked in reply, grinning widely. Lillie sighed. He was completely incorrigible but she was determined to show him that the French didn’t all live up to their reputation of being arrogant and condescending.

‘So, you speak the language of luuuuurve,’ he said. ‘Are you fluent?’

‘I wouldn’t call myself fluent but I can get by alright. My mum’s French so me, Tess and my brother all speak a reasonable amount of French.’ They’d caught up to the others by now and were tagging along at the back of the group.

‘She’s lying,’ Kate called out. ‘She’s totally fluent in French. She’s really good at languages. It’s so unfair. I can barely speak English let alone anything else.’

‘Well, when your parents speak to you in two different languages all your life, it’s easy to be good at languages.’

Turning to Jed, she said,

‘You must have an interesting ancestry. You Americans are always talking about how you’re Irish-American or Latin American and stuff. What’s your family background?’

‘Well, my mom’s from an Italian background and my dad’s from an English background. I think his family were from somewhere in the North of England, Manchester or something. But that’s a few generations ago so it doesn’t really count. My mom’s parents were Italian immigrants but I don’t speak any Italian and she doesn’t either really.’

‘Oooh, you’re not connected to the Mafia are you?’ Lillie teased.

Jed looked at her seriously and didn’t answer.

‘Oh my God! You’re not are you?’ Jed laughed at the horrified expression on her face and rushed to convince her that he wasn’t. He threw a sideways glance at Johnny.

‘Watch what you say though, ‘cos Johnny’s family are,’ he stage whispered, eyes glinting.

‘Ha ha,’ Lillie said. ‘That’s a shame though. I always wanted to be one of those gangster’s molls with the big diamonds and flashy clothes.’

‘Oh well,’ Jed fake sighed. ‘I guess you’ll just have to be happy with being a rockstar’s chick with big diamonds and trashy clothes.’

Lillie laughed and told him that would be just fine, especially the diamond bit.

She daydreamed about Paris, her favourite city, all the way to their second London venue, but when they reached it and were ensconced in the huge communal dressing room, it was time for work.

Work! Her job was now singing. It all seemed so unreal still. Like she could wake up at any moment, alarm clock blaring, office clothes waiting to be put on. Lillie felt like she was the luckiest person in the world. Even winning the lottery couldn’t be better than this. Well. Maybe it could. But only if she could still meet Jed, who was waving his hand in front of her face at the moment, trying to get her attention.

‘What is with you today? You’re not paying attention to anything, are you?’ he said.

‘What? What happened? Did I miss something important?’ Lillie babbled, looking around at everyone.

‘Well, we were only talking about the set list but you know… that’s not important,’ Johnny drawled in amusement. ‘Where were you, babe? Wherever it was, it looked like you were enjoying it,’ he continued. Everyone was staring at her, even Kate.

‘Ummmm. I was just thinking about, errrr…’

‘Doesn’t matter. The point is, I think we should stick with how we’re doing things until Lil is more confident and sure of the lyrics,’ Jed interrupted, saving her with a smile. ‘Maybe after a couple days R&R, we can think about incorporating her more smoothly into the whole gig, but for now I don’t think we should mess with things. The kids all know the line up now and I don’t want to mess with that.’

Johnny and Chris nodded in agreement. Eddie was plucking out a pretty melody on his acoustic, not paying any attention to them.

‘Fine,’ said Steve, who had obviously wanted to change things around and was being stonewalled by Jed and Johnny. ‘But I do want Lillie more integrated with the band from France on. The label are loving her and the fans reaction to her. Record sales are up and Rock Radio wants to interview her with you all tomorrow.’

Lillie looked up at his words and caught him staring at her chest. She tried not to make a face. It wasn’t the first time she had noticed him staring at her in his smarmy way.

‘Interview? What interview?’ She looked at Steve and then Jed, aghast. ‘No, I can’t. I don’t know what to say. I’ll make an idiot out of myself.’ She carried on stammering out her refusals until Jed took her hand.

‘You’ll be great. They’re only going to ask you stupid questions like how did you meet the band and did you always want to be a singer and shit like that. They’re not going to ask you anything complicated or deep. They never do. It’s boring as hell but necessary.’

‘You better get used to it,’ Johnny chipped in. ‘It’s part of the job.’ He stressed the word ‘job’ and raised his hand for a high five from Chris as they smirked at each other.

‘Job!’ repeated Chris, laughing. ‘Interviews, signings, being interrupted for autographs when you’re just trying to eat a Whopper or drink a beer. These delights are all part of your job now. Enjoy! Your life is not your own anymore. It belongs to the fans.’

‘All the more reason to lock yourself away in hotel rooms,’ Jed joined in. ‘You cannot imagine how happy I am to have someone without facial hair and a reeking ass share my room now.’

‘Hey!’ exclaimed Johnny. ‘My ass does not smell.’

Jed gave him a look.

‘Well, not all the time,’ he amended. ‘That’s partly why I don’t eat meat anymore. Did you know it lingers in the gut for more than –’

‘Okay, enough!’ shouted Kate and Lillie together, thankful for the distraction of pizza arriving.

As she chewed on yet another slice of greasy deep pan pizza, Lillie resolved to eat more healthily and drink less beer. Several weeks of pizza and beer were going to mean she would need an entirely new wardrobe, which she definitely couldn’t afford.

Pizza gone and small rider empty of beer, it was time for the band to get onstage and, before she knew it, Lillie was being introduced. Her confidence had increased from the afternoon’s public practice session and she even felt good enough to let her body sway to the music and her feet tap along to Chris’s pounding drums. Her hands still remained firmly clamped to the microphone and she stared at her light. It was like it was her lifeline, that and Jed were the only things keeping her from freaking out completely.

After the gig, Lillie insisted that Jed have drinks with the band and she and Kate went back to their room to catch up and watch a movie. She hardly got to spend time with her these days and they spent two hours gossiping about the band, trading stories and fantasising about the future before Lillie had to give in to her exhaustion and call it a night.

When Jed came up to bed, having spent the evening in the hotel bar, Lillie didn’t even stir. She slept like the dead until eleven o’ clock the next day. A glorious ten hours of sleep.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

‘Oh my God, come help me! I have no idea what to wear to the radio station,’ Lillie cried, having opened the door to Kate, who laughed and said it was radio not television. ‘I know that but there might be a webcam or fans outside… look, just help me instead of laughing at me, please.’

Lillie grabbed the bag of clothes that she’d asked Kate to bring with her and dumped them on the bed next to her own pile.

‘I was thinking, we’ve got some days off coming up; wouldn’t it be cool to go shopping in Paris, just us for the day. We’ll have hot chocolates and croissants, it’ll be fun. We’ll buy lots of chic French clothes!’ Lillie grabbed Kate’s hands excitedly as she nodded, smiling.

‘Yay!’ Lillie said, hugging her. ‘I’m so sorry for flaking out last night, I was so tired. How was Chris when he got in? I was dead to the world when Jed came back.’

‘I was asleep too! He seemed fine this morning, so they couldn’t have got too drunk last night. He was telling me about when they went on tour for the first time and Jed broke two fingers trying to do some crazy stunt onstage.’

Lillie looked blank.

‘Oh my God, it’s so funny –’

Kate proceeded to tell Lillie the whole story, and it really was hilarious, but all Lillie could think about was how she and Jed didn’t really talk that much. She didn’t know any stories except those that Johnny had told her and a few from their first date. Jed seemed reluctant to talk about his past.

‘Oh my God, there’s so many other stories, you should get Jed to tell them to you!’ Kate was saying.

‘Yeah, I will,’ Lillie replied without really paying attention. She knew Jed would accuse her of thinking too much again, but she couldn’t help but wonder what was going to happen when their honeymoon period was over.

All she knew about Jed was that he liked to wear black, he had suffered from depression, he was a comic book nerd and he liked Thai food and pizza. Oh, and now she knew that he had broken two fingers once. Not much to base a relationship on.

By the time Jed came back from the band meeting to get her for the interview, Lillie was dressed and concentrating on her phone, texting Tess to finalise plans to go and see her in a couple of days.

‘You look ravishing, Lil,’ Jed said, his eyes lighting up. ‘Kate, would you excuse us please.’

He winked at her and she winked back, laughing as she left the room.

‘Tell the guys we’ll just be a few minutes,’ Jed yelled after her.

‘Jed,’ Lillie admonished, putting her hands up to ward him off. ‘We will be late.’

‘It’s not live,’ he replied, sliding his hands up her dress and kissing her neck. ‘We can be a little bit late,’ he continued, his fingers tugging at her knickers. ‘That’s rock ‘n’ roll, right?’ he murmured in her ear.

Instead of answering, Lillie kissed him, and they were more than a little late by the time she had retouched her makeup and tamed her hair.

***

Lillie wished the interviewer would leave her alone. He persisted in asking her questions, seeming to ignore everyone else, except Jed, who answered as briefly as he could. Lillie stammered and blagged her way through the questions, her answers as long and rambling as Jed’s were short and succinct.

She forgot all Johnny’s advice about what to say and was pretty sure that she’d made no sense whatsoever. When Steve indicated that time was up, she breathed a big sigh of relief and left as quickly as she could without seeming rude.

‘Oh my God, that was horrendous,’ Lillie exclaimed as soon as they were out of earshot of the radio staff.

‘You did babble a bit,’ Steve laughed, ‘but you didn’t say anything bad so well done.’

He put his arm around her shoulder and Lillie fought the urge to fling it off. She knew Steve held a lot of sway with the record label and if she upset him, she could be off the tour.

‘Tell Jed to get some rest tonight, he’s looking a bit tired,’ he winked at her. ‘I know it’ll be difficult for him but he needs to get some sleep.’

Lillie nodded and moved out of his embrace as subtly as she could. He looked her up and down and she could have sworn he puffed out his obviously gym-worked chest.

‘You look real good today Lil,’ he added before sloping off to corner Eddie, no doubt about smoking too much dope.

Lillie shuddered and turned to look for Jed, who was talking to Johnny. Not wanting to interrupt, she rushed to catch up with Kate and Chris.

‘Lil!’ Kate hugged her. ‘You were great.’ Lillie grimaced.

‘You didn’t think I babbled too much?’

‘Well, maybe a little bit but it was your first interview! Honestly, I thought you came across really well,’ she reassured her.

After the interview and a very late lunch, they barely had time to get back to the hotel and grab clothes before heading to the venue for soundcheck. Lillie had vetoed another night of pizza and requested curry instead. She figured that vegetable dansak with boiled rice had to be less fattening than cheesy, greasy pizza.

Having completed soundcheck, she showered quickly in the substandard facilities the venue provided and changed into ankle length black skinny jeans, a silvery-grey sequinned vest and, for a change, some heels. As she was finishing up her makeup, Kate appeared.

‘Hey. You look great,’ she said, handing Lillie a plate of curry and rice.

‘Oh, thanks hun. You didn’t have to bring me this, I’m nearly done,’ Lillie said, kissing her quickly and sweeping blusher across her cheeks. ‘God, I need to start eating properly, my jeans are getting tight.’

Kate laughed, rolling her eyes.

‘As if,’ she retorted, her mouth full of lamb biryani.

‘Honestly! Look at this,’ Lillie said, pulling up her vest and poking her stomach. ‘I can barely do these up. I need to do something about it before I bust these jeans.’

‘Lillie. You are deluded.’ Kate scoffed, stuffing another forkful of curry in her mouth. ‘Besides, all the sex will be burning up all those pizza calories,’ she added.

‘Yeah I suppose.’ Lillie ate a mouthful of curry. ‘Mmmm, God, it’s really good,’ she said. ‘Hot.’

Kate laughed.

‘I know! Johnny was in pain when I left. I don’t think he’s used to Indian food.’

‘Oh, God love him. We should have ordered him a korma!’ Lillie said, laughing too.

Dinner over and watching the band from the side of the stage, Lillie listened to the crowd going mad for their favourites and laughed at Jed and Johnny’s stage show. She wondered how they had the energy to jump around and cavort with each other whilst still maintaining such a high standard of guitar playing and singing.

Before she knew it, Jed was introducing her and she panicked, realising that she had no time for her normal regime of relaxation and deep breathing. She hadn’t even done any voice exercises. She turned to Kate, stricken.

‘Lil, just go. You’ll be fine!’ Kate urged her.

Lillie looked at her, eyes wide with fear.

‘Go, go,’ Kate said again, pushing her towards the stage.

Lillie looked from Kate to Jed, who was staring at her from the stage whilst Chris pounded out a drum solo in a desperate bid to keep the crowd from wondering what the hell was going on.

‘Lillie!’ Kate shouted, Lillie’s panic reflected in her eyes, as she shoved her onto the stage.

Lillie wobbled briefly on her heels, righting herself just in time, and walked across the stage, eyes locked onto Jed. The crowd cheered her on and Jed smiled in obvious relief, although his eyes were bewildered. Lillie grabbed the mike stand and clung onto it, her knees trembling.

‘Alright London, you know what to do!’ Jed screamed into his microphone as Eddie started playing “Car Crash Lives”. Jed started singing the first verse as Lillie stared blindly out into the audience.

Her entire body was trembling and Jed was half way through the chorus before she realised she was supposed to be singing along with him. Oh God, it was just like Gloucester but way, way worse. She turned to look at him in horror. He was watching her carefully but nodded that she should join him.

Lillie started in on the next line, her voice coming out in a quiver and horribly off key. Jed smiled at her in encouragement but sang louder into his own microphone. Lillie was petrified, all Johnny’s advice had emptied out of her head. She couldn’t focus, her mind was chaos.

Jed raised an eyebrow at her and she shook her head. She knew there was no way she could carry a verse on her own. She stopped singing and Jed carried on alone.

She stood, rigid, waiting for the chorus, willing herself to stop shaking. She was visibly rocking the microphone stand and sensed Johnny moving nearer to her.

She tried taking deep breaths to calm herself down, which seemed to work until she could hear the chorus coming again.

Her heart danced in time to the frantic drumbeat and her left leg shook uncontrollably. Her knuckles were white where she was clutching the mike tightly. Her head thudded as the chorus kicked in and she closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on not being sick. She forced out the first words of the chorus, her voice strained and broken.

Johnny danced towards her, pushing his way into her space and singing directly into her microphone, drowning out her warbling voice with his shouty style singing.

As Jed started on the last verse, Johnny drew back to shout into her ear as they both stepped back from the mike.

‘What’s going on, Lil? Are you okay?’

She shook her head, tears building up in her eyes.

‘Babe, you need to get offstage, you look like you’re gonna vom any minute. C’mon,’ he shouted, taking her elbow as he looked at Jed and shook his head minutely.

Jed flicked his eyes towards Lillie and nodded once before taking his mike off the stand and starting a manic dance around the stage in an effort to take attention away from her.

Johnny practically carried Lillie offstage, not an easy thing to do when she towered above him in her impractical heels. Lillie fell into Kate’s arms and burst into tears as she hugged her tightly.

‘It’s okay, honey. Just breathe, It’s fine,’ Kate soothed as she stroked Lillie’s hair. ‘Let’s get you out of here.’

Somehow, Kate managed to get Lillie to the dressing room, where she sank onto a sofa, her shoulders heaving as she cried herself into near hyperventilation. Kate murmured soothing words over and over again, rubbing Lillie’s back gently. Lillie could feel Kate’s panic and tried to calm herself down with huge ragged deep breaths. She leant forwards and hugged her knees, her crying gradually subsiding until she stopped altogether. She stayed hunched over until Kate spoke.

‘Lil? You’re scaring me. Are you okay honey?’

Lillie raised her head to look at Kate, her chin trembling as she struggled to hold back more tears.

‘Oh God, I made such an idiot out of myself,’ Lillie’s voice came out in a shudder as she burst into tears again. She lowered her head to her knees again and felt Kate’s hand on her back. ‘It’ll be all over YouTube,’ she stifled a sob. ‘My parents will see it and my mum will be all “I told you so” and smug.’ She raised her head and stared at Kate. ‘I can’t go back out there ever again.’

‘Firstly, it might not be on YouTube and, even if it is, tell Tess not to show your parents. Secondly, you can go back out there. The fans know you can sing and Jed will tell them you’re sick or something.’ She put her arm around Lillie, squeezing her shoulders reassuringly. ‘It’s gonna be fine, Lil. I promise.’

‘I need a drink,’ Lillie said, still trying not to cry.

Kate got up, found a bottle of beer and passed it to her. Lillie took a large mouthful, wincing as the bubbles burnt her throat. Kate sat back down beside her and took the bottle, taking a big swig herself.

‘Do you feel better now?’

‘Not really,’ Lillie said, taking the bottle back. ‘Steve’s going to be mad.’ She took another mouthful, smaller this time.

‘I’m sure he’ll understand.’

Lillie stared at the wall, not responding to her optimism. They sat in silence, sharing the bottle of beer and Lillie kept staring at the wall opposite her whilst Kate stared at her hands.

Kate jumped as the door crashed open and Jed rushed in, kneeling in front of Lillie. He put his hands either side of her face, trying to get her to look at him but she stared over his shoulder.

‘Lil, are you okay? Were you sick?’ He turned to look at Kate. ‘Is she okay?’ His voice shook. He tried to make eye contact with Lillie again but she still wouldn’t look at him.

‘She’s okay. Upset but she’s calmed down now.’

Lillie twisted her face out of Jed’s hands and took another swig. She hardly noticed Johnny hovering near the door.

‘Can you guys leave us alone for a minute please?’ Jed asked, his eyes back on Lillie’s face.

She heard the door close.

‘Lil? Baby, please look at me.’

Lillie let him take the bottle away and he shuffled closer to her, putting his hands on her shoulders. She turned her head slowly to look at him.

‘I’m so sorry,’ she whispered, tears falling down her cheeks.

Jed leant in towards her and kissed her unresponsive lips.

‘Sorry for what? Stage fright?’ He wiped tears away with his thumbs, resting his fingers on her face. ‘I’ve been waiting for it.’ He kissed her again. ‘We’ve all had it. It’s normal, Lil.’

‘I totally choked. It was so embarrassing.’ The tears came more quickly now as she relived it in her head.

‘I said you were sick. That you shouldn’t have tried to sing at all but you insisted,’ he said. ‘The fans’ll be totally cool with it.’ He hugged her tightly for a moment, before pulling back to look at her.

‘You did totally choke though.’ He smiled. ‘Spectacularly. Johnny nearly got a hernia getting you offstage.’ He full on laughed at the memory.

Lillie managed to smile at the image before groaning and putting her head in her hands, laughing and crying at the same time. Jed laughed louder, leaning back on his heels.

‘Oh God,’ he gasped out. ‘He looked so funny, trying to hold you up and keep his guitar in check… oh man.’ He wiped tears from his eyes and was silent for a moment.

‘Feel better now?’