How to Date a Werewolf (29 page)

“It was awful. I had a date with this werewolf dude. He turned out to be a real jerk. He couldn’t keep his hands to himself. I hate the touchy-feely type. So I took off. I needed a place to hide until I could make my way home, you know. So here I am.”

“I was seeing a non-werewolf,” I offered.

Visions of Jack floated through my mind. I was disappointed, to say the least, to know he thought I was mental. There were perks to dating a werewolf: you didn’t have to hide your real self from them. And that’s what dating was all about, being yourself, right? I told everyone else that, yet I didn’t follow my own advice. It was no wonder I had a curse placed on me. I deserved it.

Amy pursed her big hairy lips. “Oh...” She understood what a pickle I was in, and why I hid behind a trash can without me telling her another word. “That sucks.”

“Yes, it does suck. He’s looking for me as we speak. He thinks I’m crazy. He even convinced my roommate I’m nuts.” I wiped a tear from my cheek.

Why was I sharing all this info with her? A complete stranger. I suppose I had nothing else to do. Emotions overflowed and made me chatty.

“Thinks you’re insane, huh? I’ve been through it before. It really sucks. I’m sorry to hear about your roommate too.”

At least someone felt my pain, even if it was a total stranger. Thankfully, darkness finally set in as I sat beside a werewolf in hot pink pants. The moon let off a shining glow through the alley. The smell lingered and made me want to vomit. At least it kept me from thinking about how hungry I was.

“So what do you do, Rylie?” Amy smiled and then brushed dirt off her pants.

“I own
Get a Mate
dating service. Ever heard of it?”

“Get out of here. I was going to come by there before I met Keith.”

“Really? Is Keith the guy you just ditched?” I turned to look at her.

“Yeah. What a loser.” She held her head down.

“So it sounds as if you need to come by and see me.” I chuckled.

“I do.” She giggled. “As soon as we get out of this hell I’ll stop by.”

“What do you do?” I asked. It was nice to have someone to chat with and waste the time. Even if it did suck, sitting behind a trash can in an alley was better than roaming the streets with the rest of the paranormal riffraff.

“I work at a salon not far from here.”

When I was about to ask the name of the salon, out of the corner of my eye, I saw them approaching us. The glow from the streetlight allowed me to see their ugly mugs.

I leaned closer to my newfound friend and whispered, “It looks as if we have company. And not the kind of company we want, either.”

She whipped her head up to gaze across the alley. I motioned with my head, pointing them out. Without a second thought, I jumped up from my huddled position and poised my body in a fighting stance. Amy followed my motion. Brave girl.

I didn’t want to let the same thugs who had been following me around, for I don’t know how long, see any fear in me. The two goons stood shoulder to shoulder in the alley as if they were blocking us from getting out of there. I didn’t know what they wanted, other than possibly to kill us. Poor Amy, I didn’t want to get her involved. She didn’t know me and didn’t deserve that fate just because she had stumbled into my zany life. It was obvious she had a big heart and was a sweet girl.

“What do you want? Take a hike and leave us alone,” I yelled.

They both had the same smirk on their faces. They made a point of displaying their fangs. Another lame scare tactic. I swear, if I was accosted one more time. Ugh.

“You,” the uglier one with the chains said. He exposed his fangs, making sure I got a nice view of them. They were insanely white and the moon beamed off them. Why they wanted me, I had no idea. And I didn’t know how well Amy could fight, either. I wasn’t sure if I could take both of them on by myself, but it looked as if I was going to have to give it a try.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t want you. And I’m
so
not flattered that you want me.” I smirked.

“Oh, so you think you’re cute?”

I snorted. “Maybe.” I didn’t like their nasty attitudes. Amy stood silent, but she had moved even closer to me, standing behind my back, as if I would be able to protect her somehow. I felt her heavy breathing on the back of my neck.

“Once and for all, we’re going to do away with you.”

Amy let out a little whimper.

“Oh, is that right, toilet bowl breath? I don’t think so. I’m sick and tired of you following me around.” I shot them the most evil glare I could muster. “I’d like to see you try.” Staying brave was the only way to act.

I needed to think quickly. Amy probably wouldn’t be much help I decided, and the best thing she could do was to run.

“Amy,” I whispered, “you need to run. I’ll distract them and you make a run for it. Get out of here.”

“I can’t leave you here to fight these idiots.” Still being brave, how sweet of her.

“You have to. I’m not going to fight them, but the best bet is for you to run.” I prayed she’d listen to my advice. I didn’t know how ugly the situation might get.

“But I can’t leave you alone. Should I--”

“Go now. And don’t look back.” I nudged her and pointed discreetly in the direction she should run. “Just get out of here.”

With a moment of hesitation, she took in a deep breath, then turned and ran as fast as her legs would allow. I barely saw the pads of her paws hit the ground as she loped away.

“Your little friend couldn’t handle it, huh? We didn’t want her, anyway, although she would have probably made a tasty dessert. She’s a smart woman to get out while she could.”

“I can handle both of you by myself.”

The other one laughed, as if I’d just told the funniest joke he’d ever heard. A real knee-slapper.

“Come on over here and we’ll see how well you handle yourself.” He cackled.

“You disgust me. You’re a pathetic excuse for a werewolf. You give all of us a bad name.”

“Boo-hoo. Your words hurt me so,” he taunted.

Wiseass.

“You barely escaped the other night. We have you cornered now. There’s nothing you can do and nowhere to run. So give up peacefully, whatdaya say?”

“Why don’t you go back to the rock you crawled out from under?” I hissed.

“That’s not very original.” Werewolf number one with the Mr. T chains thought he was a know-it-all.

I shrugged. “Whatever. I’m only trying to use words you morons can understand. You know, not the big ones.”

He had a point. My comment wasn’t good in the put down department, but whatever… I was so sick of encountering these guys…sick of everything going on in my life. If Lily wanted me out, maybe I’d give her that wish. I just wanted things to be back to normal: changing once a month, munching out in front of my TV with steak and lots of hair. No big deal, really. I’d learned to deal with it over the years. It was kind of relaxing, really. Instead, I was in the middle of an alley with flea bites, stinky trash stuck to my fur and two werewolves who wanted to eat me for dinner. I needed to think of a way to get out of the situation, pronto. If I could distract them, then I could run away. I knew from the other night they couldn’t run fast and would never catch up with me. I needed to think quickly and formulate a strategy.

Lying on the ground next to the trash was an empty beer bottle. The best plan that came to mind was to pick the bottle up and fling it at one of their heads, causing a diversion. Not the best plan ever, but it was all I had. I selected the creep closest to me for the honor of having a bottle tossed at his head. In one motion, I reached down, cupped the bottle with my paw and pitched it as hard as I could.
Thud
. It hit the one with chains right upside the head. He let out a loud squeal and clutched his head as he fell to his knees. The other one grabbed his partner in crime and helped him on his feet. That would teach them to try that crap with me. They’d pushed me to my limit. When backed into a corner I always came out fighting.

“What is wrong with you? Have you lost your ever-lovin’ mind?” he yelled at me, spit spewing from his mouth.

“What do you mean, what is wrong with me? I’m protecting myself, you goon.”

The tough guy whimpered at that point and held his head. I couldn’t believe what I heard, and saw, for that matter.

“You hurt him.” He rubbed his head harder and sniffled.

“You threatened me, what did you expect? I can’t let you get by with your antics any longer.”

“We weren’t really going to do anything to you. We’d never really hurt you. You’re too pretty,” the other one said as he helped his partner.

What pretty had to do with anything, I had no idea. The fact they insinuated they’d have hurt me if I were ugly made me want to kick their butts even more. Maybe they’d like to be kneed in a very special place.

“What do you mean? It sure as hell looked as if you were going to hurt me.”

“I mean, he told us to just scare you, not to really hurt you.”

The uglier one elbowed the other. “Shh. Don’t tell her.”

“What? Who is
he
? Who sent you? Why have you been following me around everywhere I go?”

The big bad wolf continued to cry and sniffle. His behavior was getting on my nerves.

“That hurt like hell, you know.”

Was he kidding? He was actually crying. Tears ran down the fur of his face. Despite the fact they’d been following me and making my life a living hell, I did feel bad. I didn’t want to see anyone hurt. Why was I such a softie?

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to throw the bottle so hard.” I had, but he didn’t have to know. Maybe it was a stupid thing to do, but I moved closer to them. I prayed they wouldn’t eat me as soon as I got near.

“There, there. Don’t cry anymore. I’m very sorry I hurt you.” I patted his shoulder to comfort him. “Please, don’t be upset anymore.” My fingers stuck to his matted fur, and I gave a yank to free them.

“Ouch,” he yelped.

“Sorry.” I held my hands up in surrender.

His sniffling subsided a teensy bit.

The other one shrugged. I guess he was at a loss for words. Finally he said, “He’s always been a bit dramatic. He’ll get over it.”

I raised an eyebrow and nodded in acknowledgment. Now that I knew they were really rather weak and I doubted they could have hurt a fly, I contemplated playing the tough girl in order to get the info I needed out of them. After what I’d witnessed, I could totally scare them. Mulling it over for a second, I decided to be more nice than nasty. Why, I didn’t know, but I did. Like I said, big softie--that’s me.

“All right, guys. Tell me who ordered you to follow me.” Enough beating around the bush. “I want the truth and I want to know now, or there are more beer bottles where that one came from. Understand?” I poked Overbite in the chest. Okay, so I added a little tough girl at the last minute. Sue me. They glanced at each other, I assumed trying to decide whether they should divulge the info or not.

“We can’t tell you. We promised, and if we tell, he may hurt us. You can’t force us.”

“Fine, I’ll go hunt up a few more bottles to toss at your heads.” I marched back over to the trash can feeling a little feisty. It was a full moon, after all, I was a werewolf and I’d just discovered these guys were chicken shits.

As I started fumbling around in the cans, tossing banana peels and old newspapers everywhere, both of them took off in a lope. On one hand, I was glad they’d left, but on the other I needed to know who had sent them. It was the only way to get the madness in my crazy life to stop. The idea of running the streets, chasing two silly werewolves, didn’t exactly appeal to me, but I didn’t think I had a choice.

To some extent, even though I tried to fight it, the bright moon beckoned me, making me want to run. Without another thought, I took off in a lope, following in the direction they traveled. It wasn’t hard to find them, because about a block away a woman hunkered down with fear in a doorway as they rushed by. Kicking it into overdrive, I picked up my speed. I wasn’t exactly a gym rat, but I could keep up with those two. Werewolves were supposed to be fast, but not them. What I would do with them when I caught them, I wasn’t sure, but I was going to make them talk. I’d get to the bottom of this once and for all. Even if I had to beat the words out of them.

The streets were dark, of course, but I could still make out with the aid of streetlights and the moonlight well enough. The only problem was people could see me too. I hated that. A few screeches echoed as the three of us trotted by, and I heard the words:
huge dogs.
With my luck, it would be no time before animal control had a net around my neck. We ran past an old jazz bar as a few lounge lizards walked out. One guy tried to kick me as I hurried past.
Bastard, what did I do to him?
I wasn’t bothering him in any way. I’d like to take a bite out of his ass. All right, so I wouldn’t actually do it, but I’d like to. If he kicked me again, I just might.

My werewolf buds turned down another alleyway and I almost missed it, I moved so fast. I backed up and kicked my legs into overdrive. Being so close to them, I smelled the strong cologne they used to cover their stink. I’d almost caught up with them. The hot night air battered my face, my fur felt sticky and I knew I reeked. I slowed my pace as the wolves backed into a corner. I had them trapped. The one with chains I’d conked on the head plopped down on the pavement. He clutched at his chest with his front paw.

“Tell her, for heaven’s sake. I can’t run anymore and I already have one bruise, I don’t want another one. Plus the pads of my feet hurt.” He panted and brushed a paw through his bushy fur.

“Are you telling me you’re scared of a female? A scrawny one, at that?” The other one tugged on his arm, trying to heave him up.

“Yes, I am. I don’t like confrontations and I never win fights. I just want to go home and rest. Maybe eat some fried chicken or something. I have leftovers from KFC.” He continued to pant heavily, trying to catch his breath. I tried to catch mine too. I’d pushed my aerobic capacity to the limit.

“What are your names, anyway?” I wanted to know.