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I’d like to thank my science and medical researcher, Zora DeGrandpre, for keeping me within shouting distance of rational thought.

A big thank-you to Adrian Zackheim for somehow knowing I had this book in me before I did. Someday you have to explain to me how you do that.

Thank you to my brother, Dave, whom I use as my writing muse. When I’m trying to find the perfect way to word a funny thought, I just imagine how I would say it to my brother. When editors say my writing is “voicey,” that’s why.

Thank you to Maria Gagliano for your masterful edits to this book.

Thank you to Emily Libresco, my Princeton-bound writing assistant, who did a terrific job critiquing the first draft. If any of you are worried about the next generation, don’t be. They make us look like chimps.