How to Fall (13 page)

And some unworthy part of me was pleased that I was annoying her just by standing beside Ryan. I put my hand on his arm, knowing that she was watching my every move.

‘Let’s keep going. It would be a shame to stop halfway through your tour when I’m enjoying it so much.’

‘You are?’ He looked genuinely pleased. ‘OK. Well, this is the beach.’

‘I noticed,’ I said, but I softened it with a smile.

We kept walking by the sea as Ryan told me all about surfing and why I should really try it. I enjoyed listening to him even if a lot of it made very little sense to me; I certainly had no intention of actually getting into the water. I liked to stay dry. At the end of the bay, the path snaked up the headland and disappeared among the trees that covered it. Ryan stopped at the foot of the hill. He was looking at it as if he’d forgotten it was there.

‘Do you want to turn back?’

‘Not particularly,’ I said, wondering why his enthusiasm levels had taken a dive.

‘There’s not much to see up here.’

‘There’s the view of the town,’ I observed. ‘I haven’t really seen it and it would help me to get my bearings. And there’s the view out to sea.’

‘Well, this is definitely the place to go if you want a view.’ He didn’t set off up the path, though.

‘Is there something wrong?’

‘Nope.’ But he wasn’t looking at me.

‘If you’ve got somewhere else to be—’

‘Of course I don’t.’

‘OK then.’ I looked at him curiously. ‘Should I go on my own? Meet you later?’

‘I’ll come with you. If that’s where you want to go.’ Ryan grinned but it was a pale imitation of his usual smile. ‘Can’t have you wandering around on your own. You might trip over a fallen branch or something.’

‘My hero.’ I began to walk up the path, feeling the steepness of the hill in my thighs and calves almost immediately. ‘Ugh. I’m so unfit.’

‘I wouldn’t say that.’

I ignored the remark. I’d come to realize that if Ryan was awake and breathing, he was likely to be flirting. Besides, I needed all my breath for the climb. I didn’t mind that the going was slow and the ground uneven. The sun was shining through the trees. The leaves were thick overhead but they allowed plenty of light through in narrow beams that made coin-sized spots on the path. Between the trunks, the sea gleamed blue and silver below us. Tiny insects hummed and birds sang in the trees, and I felt happy for the first time since I’d been in Port Sentinel. All the questions that had been bothering me subsided. I was actually enjoying myself.
And
toning my thighs at the same time. Bonus.

The climb was totally worth it, I thought, as the ground started to level out and the trees thinned. The top of the headland was bare, apart from a few gorse bushes. Someone had put a bench there to reward anyone who made it to the top and I collapsed on it, breathing hard. The view was incredible – the town spread out below, the sea dotted with small boats and a large container ship like a toy far out on the horizon. The sky was pure blue, with just a couple of wispy white clouds. I shaded my eyes, picking out the landmarks I knew and the places I’d been. I couldn’t see our holiday home but I was able to identify the red brick and ivy of Sandhayes. Will’s house was lost in the trees behind.

It took me a couple of minutes to realize that Ryan hadn’t joined me on the bench. I twisted round, looking for him. He was a few metres back, leaning against one of the last trees. The sunglasses were back and his face was like a mask, but his face was pale.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Really?’ I turned and knelt on the seat of the bench, hanging over the back. ‘Are you feeling OK?’

‘I’m fine.’

‘You don’t look fine. Do you want to sit down?’

‘No thanks.’

If he didn’t want to go exploring with me, I wasn’t going to force him. He’d seen it all before anyway. I climbed down off the bench and strolled across the headland to see what was on the other side. Another bay, it turned out, but instead of a slope, there was a steep drop to the sea. The waves came in at an angle, churning and swirling around sharp-edged rocks. Even on a calm day the water was white-flecked and choppy.

‘What are you doing?’ Ryan’s tone was sharp.

‘Just looking.’

‘Don’t go too close to the edge.’

‘I’m not.’ I stopped where I was. ‘Ryan—’

‘It’s probably time to head back.’

‘Oh. OK.’ Something was upsetting him, that was clear enough. Maybe he didn’t like heights. ‘Thanks for showing me this place. I really enjoyed the tour.’

‘I’m glad.’ He peeled himself away from the tree and headed down the path, not waiting to see if I was following. Before I did, I cast one glance over my shoulder at the glorious view. I would come back, I thought. I would come on my own and sit in the sunshine.

And I’d find out what was bothering Ryan. If I ever caught up with him.

He was far too quick for me on the path. I took my
time
, not wanting to fall, slithering on the dry earth where the ground was particularly steep. Too polite to abandon me altogether, he was waiting for me at the bottom of the hill, and he wasn’t alone. Hugo was standing beside him, his arms folded. His expression was at least as disapproving as Natasha’s had been earlier.

‘Hey.’

‘Jess.’ Hugo sounded cold.

‘I’d better go,’ Ryan said. ‘I’ll see you around, Jess.’

I was starting to feel like I’d done or said something unforgivable, but I couldn’t imagine what. ‘Thanks again.’

He walked off with his hands in his pockets.

‘Well, that went well,’ I said cheerfully.

Hugo frowned. ‘I wouldn’t have thought he was your type.’

‘Oh, he’s totally not. But he seems nice.’

Hugo snorted.

‘Do you two not get on, or something?’ I asked.

‘He’s OK.’ He nodded at the headland. ‘What were you doing up there?’

‘Just looking around.’

‘Was it his idea to take you there?’

I tried to remember. ‘N-no. Mine, I think. He wasn’t that keen.’

Hugo nodded, his expression lightening a little. ‘I thought he’d made you go there. For kicks.’

‘Far from it. I basically dragged him up there.’ I put my hands on my hips. ‘Am I being thick or something? What’s going on?’

I could only describe the look on Hugo’s face as pitying. ‘You didn’t realize? Up on the headland – the other side of it – that’s where Freya was when they found her.’

I stared at him, feeling stupid, suddenly chilled to the bone despite the warm sunshine. I couldn’t have known but I still should have guessed.

Hugo looked past me, at the shaded path, and I had the feeling he wasn’t really seeing it, or me.

‘That’s where Freya died.’

8

‘
I KNOW YOU’RE
above fashion but please, I’m begging you, try it on.’

‘Absolutely not.’

‘Oh, come on.’ Darcy was literally jumping up and down with frustration. She was wearing a short salmon-pink lace dress with a full skirt and looked like she’d just skated off the ice after a top-scoring short programme at the Winter Olympics. ‘I’d do it but it wouldn’t fit me. I know you’ve got an incredible figure somewhere under all that baggy material.’

I glanced at the dress she was holding up, then returned to cleaning the display cabinet.

‘Don’t look like that,’ Darcy snapped.

‘Like what?’

‘Like—’ She scrunched up her face.

‘The glass cleaner was making my nose itch.’

‘I’m sure.’

‘Really.’ It certainly had nothing to do with the teeny tiny dress with its plunging neckline and bum-freezer skirt, the dress that I called slutty and Darcy, her voice reverent, called Versace. It would take a lot more than the one-two punch of Darcy’s bullying and flattery to persuade me out of my jeans and hoodie and into the scrap of black silk and sequins that she was waving around.

‘Miss Burman, will you tell Jess to try this dress on?’

Sylvia looked worried. ‘I don’t think I could do that, Darcy. It wouldn’t be fair.’

‘But you’re her boss. She’d have to do it if you told her to,’ Darcy wheedled.

‘And why exactly do you care?’ I asked.

‘Because I really want to try it on but it wasn’t made for a girl shaped like me. Seeing it on you is the next best thing.’

I snorted. ‘Put it on Brenda. Or Marilyn. Marilyn would rock it.’ Marilyn was the one-eyed blonde, named by Sylvia in a rare burst of imagination once I’d introduced her to Brenda.

‘Not the same.’ Darcy pressed the material against her, measuring the waist. ‘Ugh. I wouldn’t get it over my head.’

‘Too bad.’

‘You are no fun.’ Darcy hooked the dress onto a rail.
‘This job is wasted on someone like you who doesn’t care about fashion.’

‘
My
job, you mean. The job that you’re basically sharing for no pay.’

Sylvia looked worried. ‘I could probably manage a little, Darcy. You are being very helpful, dear.’

To give her her due, Darcy didn’t consider it for a second. ‘No way, Miss Burman. I’m just hanging out in here because I really like it and I’ve got nowhere else to be. I don’t mind helping while I’m here.’

‘But if you’re helping in the shop I should make sure you’re recompensed.’

‘Really. I don’t need anything.’ Darcy was looking stricken. I leaned out from behind Sylvia and flapped my arms up and down. It took her a second to catch on to what I meant, and even then she wasn’t totally sure she’d got it. ‘I want to do it for free because . . . I love owls so much?’

‘Who doesn’t?’ Those two words were the first clue we’d had that anyone was watching us. It was my fault. I’d wedged the shop door open to allow some light and air in, so there had been no warning, no tell-tale jangle from the bell to tell us anyone had come in – but there Will stood, smirking. Even though I knew his voice the moment I heard it, I jumped. Darcy whirled round with one hand to her chest, dramatic as ever.

‘God, Will, you scared the crap out of me.’ She looked back over her shoulder. ‘Sorry for swearing, Sylvia.’

Sylvia looked up from her book. ‘What?’

‘Never mind,’ I said at the same time as Darcy. To Will, I said, ‘You really do love to make an entrance, don’t you?’

‘I don’t know what you mean.’

‘It’s just that you seem to like surprising people.’

He raised an eyebrow. ‘People?’

‘Me.’

‘It’s not intentional.’

I was starting to blush under his cool scrutiny. ‘What can I do for you?’

‘Absolutely nothing.’ He lifted up the toolbox I hadn’t noticed he was carrying and rattled it. ‘It’s what I can do for
you
. Or rather, Miss Burman.’ The smile he gave her was considerably more pleasant than anything he’d thrown in my direction so far. ‘Dad said you wanted to get a couple of things fixed.’

‘Oh yes. You’re so good to think of it, Will.’ Sylvia got up and began to wring her hands. ‘The changing cubicle – I don’t know if it’s possible to fix it, but the curtain isn’t quite right.’

‘The rail’s broken,’ I said.

‘I’ll have a look at it.’

‘And that shelf.’ I pointed. ‘The bracket’s come away from the wall. We can’t use it at the moment.’ The whole thing tilted at a drunken angle.

‘Should be easy enough to sort out.’

‘I was going to have a go myself, but I didn’t have any tools.’
Just because I’m female doesn’t mean I need help with any vaguely practical task
.

‘OK, then.’ Will put the toolbox down on the floor in front of him. ‘Help yourself.’

I looked at it, wishing I hadn’t said anything.

‘Don’t be stupid, Jess. Let Will do it.’ Darcy sounded bored. ‘He’s good at that kind of thing.’

‘It’s not fair if I have all the fun.’ He was looking amused and I bristled.

‘That’s fine. I have other things to do. But thanks.’

‘Any time.’ Will picked up the toolbox again and went over to the changing room, where he spent a couple of minutes tinkering with the curtain rail. I couldn’t help watching, but if he was aware of that, he didn’t show it. He looked very much as if he knew what he was doing too.

‘Can you do anything with it?’ Sylvia asked eventually.

‘It’ll be good as new.’ He said it with quiet confidence and it was totally unfair of me to be annoyed by it. I couldn’t help hoping, though, that the
rail
would fall down as soon as he started to work on it, or that he’d hit his thumb with a hammer, or drop a screw and have to go hunting for it in the twilight dimness of the shop. Any mistake would do.

Unaware of what I was thinking, Will started to work. I forced myself to concentrate on what I was doing – arranging jewellery and accessories in the now sparkling display case. No one had ever lined up bracelets with more care. No one had ever spent longer getting a knot out of a chain. Anything to keep my focus on the job in hand and my eyes away from Will, though I was hyper-aware of every sound he made. He was taking his time, working with as much attention to detail as if he had someone really difficult to impress, when Sylvia would have been delighted if he’d nailed the curtain to the plywood wall of the cubicle and called it fixed.

I was so busy not watching Will I completely missed Darcy trying to get me to look at her. The first I knew of it was when a faded felt hat with a bunch of glass cherries on the brim skimmed across the counter.

‘Hat frisbee, woo-hoo. Throw it back,’ Darcy said, clapping her hands.

‘No.’ I brushed some dust off the crown. ‘You’ll ruin it.’

‘Who’s going to buy that? It’s hideous.’

‘Someone will love it. That’s the whole point of charity shops. One person’s rubbish is another person’s treasure.’ I put the hat on, settling the brim over my eyes. ‘What do you think?’

‘Perfect if you were starring in a 1980s film with John Cusack as your love interest. Here and now?’ Darcy looked pitying. ‘Pensioner chic.’

‘I like it,’ Sylvia said.

‘There you go.’ Darcy grinned. ‘I knew I was right.’

‘OK. You’ve made your point.’ I handed it to Sylvia. ‘It’s yours. Try it on.’

She put it on gingerly, much too far back on her head, and I leaned over to adjust it. It actually suited her.