How to Marry a Marquis (4 page)

Unfortunately, it had been a particularly wet summer in Surrey, and Elizabeth had never been especially coordinated. And as for that protruding tree root-well, there was really no way to avoid it, and so, with a splat, Elizabeth saw her best dress ruined.

Not that her best dress was in particularly good condition. There certainly wasn't enough money in the Hotchkiss coffers for new clothing unless one had completely outgrown one's old

garments. But still, Elizabeth had some pride, and if she couldn't dress her family in the first stare of fashion, at the very least she could make certain they were all neat and clean.

Now there was mud caked onto her velvet sash, and even worse, she'd actually stolen a book

from Lady Danbury. And not just any book. She'd stolen what had to be the stupidest, most

asinine book in the history of bookbinding. And all because she had to auction herself off to the highest bidder.

She swallowed as tears formed in her eyes. What if there were no bidders? Then where would

she be?

Elizabeth stamped her feet on the front stoop to shake off the mud, then pushed her way through the front door of her small house. She tried to sneak through the hall and up the stairs to her

room without anyone seeing her, but Susan was too fast.

"Good heavens! What happened to you?"

"I slipped," Elizabeth ground out, never taking her eyes off of the stairs.

"Again?"

That was enough to make her twist around and stab her sister with a murderous glare. "What do you mean, again?"

Susan coughed. "Nothing."

Elizabeth swung back around with every intention of marching to and up the stairs, but her hand connected with a side table. "Owwwww!" she howled.

"Ooh," Susan said, wincing in sympathy. "I'll bet that hurts."

Elizabeth just stared at her, eyes narrowing into angry slits.

"Terribly sorry," Susan said quickly, clearly recognizing her sister's bad mood.

"I am going to my room," Elizabeth said, enunciating every word as if careful diction would somehow remove her to her private chamber more quickly. "And then I am going to lie down and take a nap. And if anyone bothers me, I shall not answer to the consequences."

Susan nodded. "Jane and Lucas are out playing in the garden. I shall make

certain they are quiet if they return."

"Good, I- Owwwwwwww!"

Susan winced. "What now?"

Elizabeth bent down and picked up a small metal object. One of Lucas's toy soldiers. "Is there any reason," she said, "that this is sitting on the floor where anyone may step upon it?"

"None that I can think of," Susan said with a halfhearted attempt at a smile.

Elizabeth just sighed. "I am not having a good day."

"No, I didn't think you were."

Elizabeth tried to smile, but all she did was stretch her lips. She just couldn't manage to get the corners to turn up.

"Would you like me to bring you a cup of tea?' Susan asked gently.

Elizabeth nodded. "That would be lovely, thank you."

"It's my pleasure. I'll just- What's that in your bag?"

"What?"

"That book."

Elizabeth cursed under her breath and shoved the book down under a handkerchief.

"It's nothing."

"Did you borrow a book from Lady Danbury?"

"In a manner of speaking."

"Oh, good. I've read everything we possess. Not that we possess much any longer."

Elizabeth just nodded and tried to dash past her.

"I know it broke your heart to sell off the books," Susan said, "but it did pay for Lucas's Latin lessons."

"I really must go-"

"Can I see the book? I should like to read it."

"You can't," Elizabeth snapped, her voice coming out much louder than she'd have liked.

Susan drew back. "I beg your pardon."

"I have to return it tomorrow. That's all. You won't have time to read it."

"Can't I just look at it?"

"No!"

Susan lunged forward. "I want to see it."

"I said no!" Elizabeth hopped to the right, just barely managing to elude her sister's grasp, and then dashed toward the stairs. But just as her foot hit the first step, she felt Susan's hand grabbing the fabric of her skirts.

"I have you!" Susan grunted.

"Let me go!"

"Not until you show me that book."

"Susan, I am your guardian and I order you to-"

"You're my sister, and I want to see what you're hiding."

Reason wasn't going to work, Elizabeth decided, so she grabbed her skirt and yanked hard,

which only resulted in her slipping off the step and her bag tumbling to the floor.

"Aha!" Susan yelled triumphantly, snatching up the book.

Elizabeth groaned.

"HOW TO MARRY A MARQUIS?" Susan looked up, her expression somewhat puzzled and

wholly amused.

"It's just a silly book." Elizabeth felt her cheeks grow warm. "I just thought... that is, I Thought I-"

"A marquis?" Susan asked dubiously. "Setting rather lofty goals for ourselves, aren't we?"

"For the love of God," Elizabeth snapped, "I'm not going to marry a marquis. But the book might have some sort of useful advice in it, since I have to marry someone, and nobody is

asking."

"Except Squire Nevins," Susan murmured, flipping through the pages.

Elizabeth swallowed down a little dash of bile. The thought of Squire Nevins touching her,

kissing her ... it made her skin turn to ice. But if he was the only way she could save her

family ...

She squeezed her eyes shut. There had to be something in that book that would teach her how to find a husband. Anything!

"This is really quite interesting," Susan said, plopping down on the carpet next to Elizabeth.

"Listen to this: 'Edict Number One-"'

"Edict?" Elizabeth echoed. "There are edicts?"

"Apparently so. I say, this business of catching a husband is more complicated than I'd thought."

"Just tell me what the edict is."

Susan blinked and looked back down. " 'Be unique. But not too unique.' "

"What the devil does that mean?" Elizabeth exploded. "If that isn't the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I'm putting that book back tomorrow. Who is this Mrs. Seeton, anyway? Not a

marchioness, so I don't see why I should listen-"

"No, no," Susan said, waving her arm at her sister without looking at her.

"That's just the title of the edict. She goes on to explain."

"I'm not certain I want to hear this," Elizabeth grumbled.

"It's actually quite interesting." "Give me that." Elizabeth snatched the book back from her sister and read silently:

IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU BE A WOMAN WHO IS WHOLLY UNIQUE. THE

MAGIC THAT IS YOU MUST ENTRANCE YOUR LORD UNTIL HE CANNOT SEE THE

ROOM BEYOND YOUR FACE.

Elizabeth snorted. " 'The magic that is you'? 'See the room beyond your face'?

Where did this woman learn how to write? A perfumery?"

"I think the bit about the room and your face is rather romantic," Susan said with a shrug.

Elizabeth ignored her. "Where is the bit about not being too unique? Ah, here it is."

YOU MUST STRIVE TO CONTAIN YOUR UNIQUENESS SO THAT ONLY HE MAY SEE

IT. YOU MUST PROVE TO HIM THAT YOU WILL BE AN ASSET AS HIS WIFE. NO

LORD OF THE REALM WISHES TO BE SHACKLED TO EMBARRASSMENT AND

SCANDAL.

"Did you get to the part about the shackles yet?" Susan asked. Elizabeth ignored her and kept on reading.

IN OTHER WORDS, YOU MUST STAND OUT IN A CROWD, BUT ONLY IN HIS

CROWD. FOR HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO MATTERS.

Elizabeth looked up. "There is a problem here."

"There is?"

"Yes." She tapped her finger against her forehead, as was her habit whenever she was thinking hard on a subject. "All of this presupposes that I have set my sights on a single male."

Susan's eyes bugged out. "You certainly cannot set your sights on a married man!"

"I meant one particular man," Elizabeth retorted, swatting her sister on the shoulder.

"I see. Well, Mrs. Seeton does have a point. You cannot marry two."

Elizabeth pulled a face. "Of course not. But I should think I must indicate my interest in more than one if I am to secure a proposal. Didn't Mother always say we must not place all of our eggs in one basket?'

"Hmmm," Susan mused, "you have a point. I shall research the matter this evening."

"I beg your pardon?'

But Susan had already sprung to her feet and was dashing up the stairs. "I shall read the book tonight," she called out from the landing," and I shall report to you in the morning."

"Susan!" Elizabeth used her sternest voice. "Bring that book back to me immediately."

"Have no fear! I shall have worked out our strategy by breakfast!" And the next thing Elizabeth heard was the sound of a key turning in a lock as Susan barricaded herself in the room she shared with Jane.

"Breakfast?" Elizabeth muttered. "Is she planning to skip supper, then?"

Apparently she was. No one saw hide nor hair of Susan, nor even heard the veriest peep from

her room. The Hotchkiss clan numbered only three that night at the table, and poor little Jane couldn't even get into her room to go to bed and had to sleep with Elizabeth.

Elizabeth was not amused. Jane was a sweetheart, but she stole all the blankets.

When Elizabeth went down to breakfast the next morning, Susan was already at the table, little red book in hand. Elizabeth noted grimly that the kitchen showed no signs of use.

"Couldn't you have started breakfast?" she asked grumpily, searching the cupboard for eggs.

"I've been busy," Susan replied. "Very busy."

Elizabeth didn't reply. Blast. Only three eggs. She'd have to go without and hope that Lady

Danbury was planning a hearty luncheon that day. She positioned an iron skillet on a tripod over the hearth fire and cracked the three eggs open.

Susan got the hint and started slicing bread for toast. "Some of these rules aren't so terribly difficult," she said as she worked. "I think even you could follow them."

"I am overwhelmed by your confidence in me," Elizabeth said dryly.

"In fact, you should begin practicing now. Isn't Lady Danbury going to host a party later in the

summer? There will surely be prospective husbands in attendance."

"
I
won't be in attendance."

"Lady Danbury doesn't plan to invite you?" Susan burst out, clearly outraged. "Well, I never!

You may be her companion, but you are also the daughter of a baronet, and thus-"

"Of course she will invite me," Elizabeth replied evenly. "But I shall refuse."

"But why?"

Elizabeth didn't answer for a moment, just stood there watching the egg whites turn opaque.

"Susan," she finally said, "look at me."

Susan looked at her. "And?"

Elizabeth grabbed a handful of the faded green fabric of her dress and shook.

"How can I go to a fancy house party dressed as I am? I may be desperate, but I have my pride."

"We shall cross the bridge of your clothing when we get to it," Susan decided firmly. "It shouldn't matter, anyway. Not if your future mate cannot see the room beyond your face."

"If I hear that phrase one more time-"

"In the meantime," Susan interrupted, "we must sharpen your skills."

Elizabeth fought the urge to smash the yolks.

"Didn't you say there was a new overseer at Lady Danbury's?"

"I said no such thing!"

"You didn't? Oh. Well, then, it must have been Fanny Brinkley, who must have heard it from her maid, who must have heard from-"

"Get to the point, Susan," Elizabeth ground out.

"Why don't you practice on him? Unless he's horribly repulsive, of course."

"He's not repulsive," Elizabeth mumbled. Her cheeks started to burn, and she kept her face down so that Susan wouldn't see her blush. Lady Danbury's new estate manager was far from repulsive.

In fact, he was just about the most handsome man she'd ever seen. And his smile had done the strangest things to her insides.

Too bad he didn't have buckets of money.

"Good!" Susan said with an excited clap of her hands. "All you have to do is make him fall in love with you."

Elizabeth flipped the eggs. "And then what? Susan, he's an estate manager. He isn't going to have enough money to send Lucas to Eton."

"Silly, you aren't going to marry him. Just practice upon him."

"This sounds rather coldhearted," Elizabeth said, frowning.

"Well, you haven't anyone else upon whom to test your skills. Now, listen carefully. I picked out several rules with which to start."

"Rules? I thought they were edicts."

"Edicts, rules, it all amounts to the same thing. Now, then-"

"Jane! Lucas!" Elizabeth called out. "Breakfast is ready."

"As I was saying, I think we should begin with edicts two, three, and five."

"What about four?"

Susan had the grace to blush. ' That one, ah, concerns dressing in the first stare of fashion."

Elizabeth just barely resisted the urge to fling a fried egg at her.

"Actually"-Susan frowned-"you might want to begin all the way at number eight."

Elizabeth knew she shouldn't have said a word, but some devil inside forced her to ask, "And what is that?"

Susan read: " 'Your charm must appear effortless.' "

"My charm must appear effortless? What the devil does that me-Ow!"

"I think," Susan said in an annoyingly bland voice, "it might mean that you're not meant to wave your arms about so that your hand smacks the tabletop."

If looks could have killed, Susan would have been bleeding profusely from the forehead.

Susan stuck her nose in the air. "I can only speak the truth," she sniffed.

Elizabeth continued glaring as she sucked on the back of her hand, as if pressing her lips to the

spot were actually going to make it stop hurting.

"Jane! Lucas!" she called again, this time practically yelling. "Hurry, now! Breakfast will get cold!"

Jane came skipping into the kitchen and sat down. The Hotchkiss family had long ago dispensed with serving a formal morning meal in the dining room. Breakfast was always served in the