How to Seduce a Band Geek (20 page)

I nudge her. “Good thing he wants you for that long.”

“I’m trying to be serious here, and you keep making jokes!” She throws her hands in the air, and they come back down on the sheets with a
flump
. She’s laughing when she curls into my side. “Levi needs you to wait. He’s like me way back when. He’s trying to figure things out, and he wants them figured out before he brings you into this huge part of his life. Because he cares about you.” She brushes my brown frizzed hair from my face. “Think you can wait?”

My eyes start to dry out as I stare at my fingers, then at my sister’s with that big Star Trek ring. Most people would tell me to move on. Mom kind of said that, and I’m sure she would’ve said it a lot better if I hadn’t pissed her off. But Zoe tells me to wait. I’m just wondering how long I’ll have to wait. And why he won’t just let me in now, so I can help him “figure things out.”

I let air fill my cheeks and wait till Zoe pushes it out, which she does after five seconds. I turn to her and let my head rest on her shoulder.

“I’ll try.”

Chapter 20

Some people need the word DUNCE painted on their forehead.

I need new contacts ASAP. My eye has been bugging me all week, and I bet it’s from rubbing the crap out of it to stop from bawling every twenty minutes. I know I begged my parents to let me go to a public high school instead of the charter, but now I’m wishing I could go back.

“Hey Mom?” I ask, blinking like Blinky to try to stop the itch. Mom lifts her heavy eyes from her doodles on her grocery list.

“Yes?”

I stay quiet, looking past her at our still broken dishwasher. Maybe it can wait. I have one more pair of contacts before I need a refill, and my glasses.

“Sierra…are you using my name in vain again?”

“Ha. Ha.” I push the heels of my hands into my eyes. “Never mind.”

“You sure?”

I nod, even though I’m really not sure.

The doorbell rings, and Mom sighs. “That’s probably Zak. Would you get it, hun?”

“What’s he doing here?” I ask, sliding from my seat at the kitchen table. Zoe’s at work this afternoon.

She waves her hand at the dishwasher. “He’s going to see if we can finally fix this thing.”

The snort that barrels through my throat almost chokes me out. Oh, this will be entertaining. I know Zak’s a genius, and I’m sure he knows all the inner workings of our brand of dishwasher and model and stuff, but I wonder if he’s capable of taking that knowledge and doing it outside his brain.

I’m laughing as I swing open the door, but it stops the second my itchy eyes focus on too-tight pants, twenty rings on one hand, and my used-to-be best friend’s timid smile.

“Hey.”

Hey?
Hey?
That’s what Sydney has to say to me after the party, and the two weeks of dirty looks and silent treatments?

“What the hell are you doing here?”

I step outside, shutting the door behind me so she knows she’s not going anywhere near the inside of my house, and so Mom doesn’t hear any curses I’ll probably let loose.

“Um, I thought maybe we could hang out. Marisa said—”

“Marisa? Are you and her all tight now that you hung out at a drug party?”

Sydney blinks, jaw open, and she takes a step back. “Why are you being so mean?”

“Are you
stupid
?” My filter has flown through the window, and it’s not coming back for a while. “Do you realize what happened that night? It’s worse than dragging me to a drug party. You took away my
free will
—my choice to lose something that should’ve been only my decision to lose. Just because you wanted to be popular, or you wanted to stop being picked on. You betrayed your friends. I can’t believe you think you can walk up my porch without an apology, without anything at all. Just a ‘Hey’ like nothing happened.”

“But nothing did happen,” she whispers at her black studded shoes. I want to smack her or push her or make her hurt as bad as she hurt me. Instead I cross my arms and dig my fingers into my side so I don’t lose control of them.

“Because Adam and Levi got us out of there. I would’ve done it myself, but someone brought a sleeping pill to put me out.”

Red splashes Sydney’s cheeks, her eyes watering as her voice comes out a little louder. “Don’t you get I was doing you a favor?”

“What?”

“I brought you the sleeping pill so you wouldn’t remember it happening. You’d be out, you know? So it’s not like it’d be real.”

Who. The. Hell. Is. This. Person? And why is
she
crying? I’m the one who should be, but with my funky contacts and my fury, I can’t find it in me. My arms untangle, and I shove her so hard she stumbles off my porch.

“Not
real
?” I shriek. “You have no idea what haunted me for those few seconds when I thought someone
had
done something to me. Millions of faces, hands, hot breath… it was terrifying. It makes me sick. If you were a good friend, you never would’ve invited me to that party. If you wanted to go so bad, you should’ve gone by yourself. I shouldn’t have to live with your stupid decisions.”

She stares up at me from her butt on my cement. I should feel bad, and there may be a tiny part of me that does, but I’m so angry I can’t do anything but shake in my feet, wishing this whole thing had never happened.

“I had to bring you,” she says to my knees.

“What?”

She gulps, adjusting herself on the ground. “You were part of my payment to get in.”

We’re quiet. I hear buzzing a street away and curse myself for thinking about Levi at a time like this because it won’t make me feel better.

“So, it’s even worse than I thought. Now you’re my pimp, and you sold me out to some random guy who drew my number.”

She doesn’t say anything. No sorries or even anything to defend herself. I shake my head, sniff, and set my hand on the doorknob. “I hope you enjoy your new friends. Because we are so done.”

“But, I can stop the harassment with my new status. The popular people, they like me now. Even though Adam and Levi pulled us from the party and called the cops, they like me. It’s been ten times better.” She smiles, but her eyes don’t look happy. “You could hang with us, and they won’t make fun of you anymore.”

I wonder what ate her brain. A bug or something dug itself in there and turned her into an idiot. I blow out a breath and refuse to let any more tears come out.

“No thanks. I’d hate to think I was just part of the payment plan.”

Then I slam the door behind me. I lean against the wood and land on a crumpled heap on the floor. Mom comes in from the kitchen and crouches next to me with a glass of water.

“I take it that wasn’t Zak.”

“No.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

And for the second time in two weeks, my mom sits next to me on the floor and lets me cry on her shoulder while I try to mend my broken heart with one of the only people I have left.

***

My mentoring packet is blank. Nada, zip, zero filled out. I’m supposed to have Brea’s answers to this stupid questionnaire thing by tomorrow, and I have no phone to tell her about it.

So, I’m forced to talk to Levi.

Thing is, he’s not in Debate. Don’t see him at lunch or in the halls. And the band misses their piccolo player. I’m told by Blinky Blinkerson he never misses Band, even if he’s dead sick. She looks super worried, and that shouldn’t make me jealous, but it does.

And on top of all of this, my contacts are still driving me crazy. I’ve rubbed my eyes raw trying to relieve the sting.

I pack up my things and jog to Adam’s Geo in the parking lot. Hopefully he’s okay giving me a ride to Levi’s, or at least driving me by their place so I can play Peeping Tom from a distance.

I’m adjusting my purple scoop neck when I hear the razzing begin. But it’s not directed at me.

“Are you confused about your sexuality? Just come out of the closet. We’ll understand.” Connor Jenkins punches Mitch Hayes in the shoulder as Adam walks by, playing with the strap of his backpack and ignoring the dickweeds. He offers me up a half smile when he sees me.

“Maybe that’s why you spend all your time with the girl who can’t open her legs!”

What is it with these perverts? If I do what Sydney said, just give it up to stop the comments, it won’t stop them at all. I’ll just go from prude to whore. And I know I’m not the only virgin. I’m just the only one who crashed into a tree to avoid having sex.

Adam goes to hug me, but I snub him. I don’t mean to be rude about it, it’s just I don’t want to hear anything else.

“Uh… would you mind dropping me off at Brea’s again?” I purposely say Brea and not Levi. “I’ve got to get the mentorship thing done.”

“You still haven’t filled that out?”

I shake my head and so does he.

“Procrastinator.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Can you?”

“Hop in.”

Adam doesn’t say anything, or even turn on the radio as we drive. He’s tapping his thumb against the gearbox and looking dead ahead. But I think he’s on autopilot because he blows past a stop sign without even blinking.

“You okay?” I ask, swiveling around to make sure there wasn’t a cop or anything.

“Huh?” He glances over, hits a speed bump at thirty-five miles per hour, then swerves. I cling to the seat for dear life. “Oh, yeah. Sorry, I’m fine.”

He’s not, but I squeeze his hand for a second to let him know
I
know he’s not fine, but I’m not going to push it. He probably had a Sydney encounter too. And no way do I want to talk about that.

My eyes start to sting again, and I growl, ripping out my left contact. Great, it’s got a tear in it. I crank down the window and toss it out. I put the right contact in the case I keep in my backpack and put on my glasses. As if seeing Levi wasn’t bad enough, now I have to wear these awful things.

Brea’s outside when we pull up. Her hands are clasped over her ears, and her long blond hair hangs over her knees as she buries her face in them. I raise an eyebrow at Adam who just shrugs and turns off the engine. It doesn’t surprise me that he gets out of the car with me. I think there’s a sensor in him that goes off when he knows something is up, and maybe he can help.

“Uh, Brea—”

“It’s three months late? Why didn’t you tell me?”

My stomach flops over when I hear Levi’s voice from inside, and Brea snaps her head up, red face and eyes as wide as golf balls. Adam automatically takes a step toward her.

“What the hell are you doing here?” she spits at me, brushing her hair from her forehead.

“Um…those packets are due tomorrow,” I mumble, but I’m not sure if she hears me over the shouting going on inside.

“I can’t pay it. There’s not enough to do this and the water bill. I’m surprised they haven’t shut off the water yet.”

“What?”

Now I hear a female voice, and I’m wishing I could jam my hands over my ears like Brea was doing seconds before.

“The water is late too. I had to get off early last week to… take care of something.”

“Then that extra shift did nothing?”

“I’m doing the best I can, Mom.”

“Hey,” Brea shouts, tearing my gaze from the open screen door of their trailer. “I don’t give a shit about that packet. I don’t care what you want from my brother or whatever. I’m just done, and I’m out of here.” She stands, shoving between me and Adam. I think he’s still on autopilot because he snatches her arm to stop her. She stares at it, then up at him, and he pulls back.

“Um…did you need a ride somewhere?”

I’m almost ready to jump in and tell Adam to stop talking crazy. He doesn’t even know this girl, and really, she’ll tear him apart.

But Brea blinks a few times, then drops her gaze. Her cheeks blossom pink, and she says to the ground, “I’m capable of walking. Thanks though.” She shakes her head, takes a deep breath, and looks at me. “I’d get out of here before Levi comes out. He’d be pissed if he knew
you
heard any of that.”

I can’t even process that before she leaves. Adam has to pull on my sleeve to get me to move to his car, but I’m having a zombie moment. I could leave, and Levi would never know I was here unless Brea told him. I could keep pretending it doesn’t bother me that he’s not talking to me. I could walk away.

Adam opens my door, and I almost get in. Instead, I stop and look back at Levi’s trailer. My head tells me to wait for him to come to me, but something much stronger tells me to go to him.

“I think I’m going to stay.”

Adam pushes his glasses up. “You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to stay with you?”

“No.”

He pushes out a breath and closes the door. “All right. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to see if she’s really okay.” He nods to Brea walking down the road, huddled in on herself, blond hair waving near her waist.

I smile and nod. Looks like we’re tag-teaming it.

“You’ll use Levi’s phone if you need me to pick you up, right? Don’t walk, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks, Adam.”

“Yup.” He crosses over to the driver’s side, fiddling a little with his keys. I give him a light wave and watch him drive to Brea. After a few minutes, she eventually hops in the car and they round the corner. Gosh, I hope he survives her.

I don’t take any more steps toward Levi’s screen door. This isn’t something I want to eavesdrop on. I want him to tell me, or hug me, or let me do something. I poke at the chain link and wait. Even if Levi doesn’t come outside, Adam will have to bring Brea back, so I won’t be out here forever.

After a few minutes of switching legs and pulling lint from my pockets, I contemplate sitting on the sidewalk to rest my feet when Levi comes shooting from the trailer and goes straight for his moped.

“Hey!” I shout before he drives off without glancing in my direction. He whips around, hair flopping in the wind, and stares me down. My breathing goes ragged, and I feel like maybe I should bolt from the spot, but I stay planted, begging him with my eyes to let me be here. To not get pissed. To do anything but push me away again.