How To Set Up An FLR (9 page)

Though they prevent erection, an attempted erection can be painful (not always a bad ting).

Murphy's law... If anything can go wrong, it will.

On the plus side:

A chastity device will prevent masturbation.

They can prevent erection if properly fitted.

Many men love wearing them for their partner.

They can provide peace of mind.

He will always know who is in charge!

Basically, the decision is up to the female partner, but you should at least hear his views on the subject before running out to the nearest sex shop to purchase one. Many couples use male chastity on a part-time basis. That is, they use it to enhance their sexual experience for awhile, and then go for a few weeks or months without it. How you choose to use male chastity in your relationship is a personal matter. Decide between yourselves if, and how, you want to use a chastity device and then choose the device that is right for you.

So which male chastity device is right for you? That's a personal matter, but there are many types and styles from which to choose. For example, if you are just wanting to experiment to see if it is something you might like to do on a more permanent basis, I would suggest you look for an inexpensive model to get you started. Once you have used it for awhile, you can decide whether you want to do it on a more permanent basis.

There are several plastic models on the market for those who do a great deal of traveling. With the use of special plastic locks, airport security is less of a problem. However, I don't recommend plastic if you plan to use chastity as a long-term activity. Plastic models can break and often cause a great deal pain when they do. They also tend to leave less air space which can cause chaffing. They don't chafe every man who uses one, but just be aware of the possibility. Also, reduced access for play might be something to put you off the plastic models. There is less access to his penis when you want to stimulate him a bit without removing it.

Metal chastity devices come in a great many versions and styles as well. Some are better than others. If you can afford it, there are several custom manufacturers who will construct one to the exact dimensions you need for a proper fit. Many of the metal types afford easier access to the penis for stimulation while the device is still in place. This means you may not have to remove the device when you want to do a little teasing.

So far, all we have discussed are the open cage style of chastity device. There are a great number of other styles on the market and their prices very greatly as well. There are full belt style devices, too. These usually deny all access to the genitals and include a belt system that is either an integral part of the device or provides a way to fasten the actual device to the belt. Many of these types of belt systems have more than one locking mechanism that may require several locks to fasten them securely. Before you invest in any male chastity device, I recommend you do some homework. Search the Internet and find something that not only suits your needs, but your budget as well.

If you have already elected not to use a chastity device, then the remainder of this chapter will be moot for you. We are going to discuss some of the fun things you can do when your partner is locked up in his chastity device. If, on the other hand, you have decided that you want to try chastity, then you might want to read the rest of this chapter before you run out and purchase your device. Not all chastity devices are created equal, and some just will not work with some of the ideas I am going to present here.

Let me take a moment here to describe some of my experiences with male chastity devices. The first device I purchased was a plastic model. I won't give you the exact brand or model for reasons that will become clear in a moment. It came with a special set of accessories designed to aid in the prevention of partial “escape” from the device. There were actually three sets of teeth (or spikes) that could be attached near the base of the penis. They mounted between the ring that goes around the penis and balls and and penis cage itself.

Each set of spikes were a different length so that you could use the set that best served your particular needs. I made the mistake of starting with the largest set first. Perhaps it was just my sadistic nature, I don't really know, but the results were disastrous. My poor husband was left in excruciating pain the moment his penis warmed up (I had iced it down) and began to fill the cage. It took me about ten minutes to get the device off so that I could change the size of the spikes.

After replacing the spikes with the smallest set (the right size as it turned out) everything worked as it was supposed to. Under normal circumstances, he could wear the device all day without a problem, but the minute he began to get aroused, those little spikes began to dig into the flesh of his penis causing him enough pain to want to stop any kind of sexual stimulation immediately. That meant that he wasn't going to be spending any of his valuable time surfing the Internet for pornography. It also meant that it was easy for me to cause him mild to severe pain simply by slipping my hand down the back of his pants to fondle his buttocks. The pain level was directly proportional to the amount of time I played with his bottom.

While that seemed to be the perfect method of teasing him without allowing him a full erection, he soon found out that he was having more erotic dreams than he thought. Every night he would be awakened by a pain in his partially erect penis from some dream he was having. If not for the fact that he has trouble getting back to sleep, and he needs his rest so that he can be alert for his day job, it would have been perfect. I was forced to remove the spikes simply to allow him to get the rest he needed. But it was fun while it lasted.

We have since moved on to a custom made metal device that allows me access to his member through the “bars” and it only causes him pain when his penis tries to become fully erect. So during our tease sessions, I have the choice of removing it or teasing him while it is secured in place. It all depends on how much I tease him, and in what ways, as to how much pain or pleasure he actually receives. Now, on to more things you can do with a chastity device in place.

If you decide to sexually tease your partner while he is wearing his chastity device, I recommend one that allows you access to the sides and tip of his penis. You can stimulate him with your fingers, fingernails, a Q-Tip, a toothpick, or any other small device of your choosing. I like to take a toothpick and poke his penis and balls. I vary the pressure with each little jab to keep him on his toes, so to speak. You can use a cotton tipped swab (Q-Tip) to tickle him as well. Your fingernails dragging along the side of his penis will also get his attention. And don't forget about the erotic power of your own body. Your breasts, your ass, and even your vagina can be used to turn him on. The more you do to arouse him, the harder his penis will try to force its way to full erection. Depending on the fit of his cage, this can cause him mild to severe pain. Some men are even aroused by this pain, so you may want to do a little experimentation.

Most men who enjoy wearing a chastity device also enjoy being reminded that it's there. That is, every time they get the slightest bit aroused, things get a little uncomfortable. Not necessarily painful, but enough to make them aware of their growing condition. So any time you can find a way to arouse him, even just a little bit, it would be good for both of you to take advantage of it. He will probably enjoy the feelings and, if you are the one causing those feelings, he will be reminded that you are in control. Something of which he will always enjoy being reminded.

There are numerous games you can play involving chastity that will make things more interesting for the both of you. For example, you might have your chaste partner roll a pair of dice to determine such things as when he might get an opportunity for release, both from his little prison and sexually. Let's take a look at some of those games, shall we?

If you enjoy tormenting your partner (sexually, that is) and you want to have some fun with him while he is in chastity, try having him roll a single die (or a pair if you prefer) with various outcomes depending on the number he rolls. Suppose you make the roll of a single die determine whether or not he gets to ejaculate that day. Maybe a roll of “1” on the die says he can if he can masturbate to orgasm in one minute. A roll of “6” means that he has six minutes to make the attempt. Of course, with some men, one minute would be more than enough time. If he seems to be getting too many ejaculations, change the rules. Maybe he only gets to make the attempt if he rolls a “1” or a “2” and any other roll gets him something entirely different.

As the female in your new FLR, the choice of how the game is played, and what the consequences of any particular roll of the die (or dice) is up to you. Be creative. You can use anything that your agreement allows. Maybe he gets a swat on the bottom for each number on the die if he doesn't roll a “1.” Or maybe, each roll that is not a winning number (say “6”) means he has to wait that many days before he gets to roll the die again.

My point is, playing with the time he spends in chastity is a very good way to make it more fun for the both of you. You can play dice games, card games, have him pull a marble out of a bag, or even play your favorite board game. Just make certain that there is a way for him to win (no matter how slim the chance) and that he understands the consequences of losing. The more fun you make it, the more interesting and fun you will find his torment to be. Remember, it will be fun for him even if he loses most of the time. (See Chapter 19 for more on games.)

Make his chastity fun for the both of you.

~ ~ ~

Chapter 11: Rewards

In any Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship (which this is, remember?), there are two things necessary to maintain control and keep things running smoothly...Rewards and punishments.

In this case, since, as we discussed earlier, men and women are not created equally, the rewards can be sexual in nature. Men respond very well to sexual rewards. Women have often used sex (or the lack of it) as a punishment. I will show you how to use it as a reward and to use it more effectively in order to maintain better control of your partner.

Rewards are very important in any relationship where one partner is in authority over the other, such as a Shipboard or Dictatorship style relationship. Without proper rewards, morale decreases, and unrest sets in, followed by revolution, or mutiny (as the case may be). To prevent that, keep the troops happy. The best way to do that is to reward them for good behavior, frequently. In other words, you, as the dominant partner, are going to have to find ways of rewarding your subordinate (partner) often. Sexual gratification is the best reward you can give a man. He wants it. If he doesn't get it from his partner, he may find other ways of getting it. He may turn to pornography, masturbation, or even another woman.

So what are the ways in which a man can be rewarded? Well, as odd as it may seem, tease and denial is the best way to keep him happy. By teasing him often, and in various ways, then denying him sexual release, he will become the best partner you could ever hope for. It won't be easy, at least, not at first. Eventually, with practice, you will become very good at keeping him sexually aroused and very compliant.

Believe it or not, one of the best ways of keeping him happy and compliant is not to allow him to ejaculate. At least not very often. If you haven't considered a chastity device, this would be a good time to do so. Denying your partner the opportunity to ejaculate any time he feels like it can be very advantageous.

Men are different from woman in that they go through some physiological changes when they ejaculate in the normal manner. That is, they become less interested in sex and more interested in other types of gratification, like...Football? After sex is the worst time to try to get him to do anything you want him to. You can test this simply by asking him to take you to the mall the morning after you have given him really great sex. Chances are, he will either flatly refuse, or he will do it begrudgingly. If you first establish a routine of keeping him aroused as much of the time as possible while denying him the release he wants, and he will jump at the chance to accompany you to the mall.

So, all you have to do is find ways of keeping your partner aroused and he will be like putty in your hands. This is the most work you will have to do in this relationship. It won't be easy, but if you apply yourself and work at it, it will become second nature to you. Then you can spend your time finding more things for him to do for you.

Below is a list of the kinds of things you will need to do to keep him aroused. You don't have to do all these things every day, but you DO have to keep him aroused, So vary your routine to keep it fresh and exciting, and you will have no trouble at all.

Basic Teasing:

Whisper sexually stimulating things in his ear.

Tell him that you can't wait to put your hands all over his naked body.

Tell him he turns you on and you want him to give you oral sex until you can't stand it any more.

Tell him you read a sexy story online and you can't wait to tell him about it later.

Put your hand down the back of his trousers and squeeze his bottom a couple times.

Rub your hand over his crotch and gently squeeze his balls while telling him you can't wait to get him in bed again.