Hunger (A Stepbrother Romance Novel) (4 page)

It appeared that he was lost in thought, so I took my leave. “Okay, well... See you later.”

His eyes snapped back to mine and he burned me with the intensity of his stare. “Goodnight, Jenna.”

“Goodnight.”

Luke walked away before I did and I was left standing in the living room, wondering if Daniel had been right. Was it inevitable? The awkward moments between us seemed to be adding up and building to something. I just had no idea what it was.

All I knew was that now, spending time getting to know each other
definitely
didn’t seem like such a good idea.

~*~*~

I slept well—better than I thought I would after spending most of the night mulling over the conversations I’d had thus far with Luke. I was trying to solve the mystery of why he seemed so uncomfortable around me. Even though the answer was in plain sight—both Clara and Daniel had explained it well enough—part of me still refused to believe it.

After all, I couldn’t understand why he’d be attracted to me. I wasn’t ugly by any means, but I didn’t think I was anywhere near his level. He was
way
out of my league.

I drummed my fingers on the counter as I waited for my morning coffee to brew. There was a knocking sound somewhere behind me and I turned back, smiling when I saw Luke sheepishly standing near the doorway.

“Holding anything breakable?”

My smile grew as I shook my head. “Nope. Nothing hot either.”

He gave me a crooked grin as he stepped into the kitchen. “Good. Maybe I’ll manage not to scare you to death today.”

“Those odds don’t seem very good.”

His grin turned into an all-out smile and I couldn’t help but match it. After a minute of just smiling at one another, he cleared his throat and sat down at the bar.

“So, what did you have in mind for today?”

I shrugged and poured my cup of coffee. “I have no clue. Any ideas?”

I glanced up in time to see his half-shrug. “Well we can’t really go anywhere.”

“I could always call Daniel. He’d give us a ride.”

Luke’s gaze darkened. “Wouldn’t that defeat the purpose of us spending time together? I’d be reduced to a third wheel.”

“Point taken. So we’ll stay here,” I said, knowing that involving Daniel in any plans with Luke and I probably wasn’t a good idea anyway. He’d spend the entire time making less-than-subtle innuendos and driving me up the wall.

“What do you normally do every day? Before I moved in.”

“Since school let out I either spend my day vegging in front of the TV or hanging around by the pool.”

“The pool sounds good,” he said cautiously.

I gave him a small frown, wondering why he seemed a little worried. “You can swim, right?”

“Of course I can,” he said with a scoff. “I’m an excellent swimmer.”

Feeling playful, I said, “Well, I just don’t believe you. You’ll have to prove it.”

He seemed to catch on to the fact that I was joking, smiling as he stood up. “I guess I will. I’ll meet you out there?”

“Sure. Let me just finish my coffee and get ready.”

“Alright.”

We both went to our respective bedrooms and while I was checking my text messages and e-mails while finishing off my cup of coffee, I heard his bedroom door open and the soft pad of his feet heading down the hall. I figured it’d be rude to keep him out there waiting for me for very long, so I quickly knocked back the rest of my coffee before pulling my swimsuit out and putting it on.

After I was dressed to swim, I walked over to my bedroom door and froze at the sight of my reflection in my mirror. A part of me screamed that wearing this in front of Luke was a bad idea—the tiny bikini top just barely covered my breasts and my ass cheeks peeked out of the bottoms.

I’d worn it a hundred times before, but now I felt awkward about it. Hell, I’m pretty sure both Clara and my father had seen me in this particular swimsuit and I’d never felt so weird about it.

I considered grabbing something to throw over it to preserve some modesty, but the other half of me—the one who was replaying Daniel’s words in my head over and over again—told me to walk out just like this. To gauge his reaction. To poke the beast.

After a long minute of mental debating, the devil on my shoulder won.

Daniel would be so proud
, I thought as I grabbed my sunglasses and made my way to the pool.

Before I went outside, I peeked out through the glass door. Luke was indeed outside already and had hopped right into the crystal clear water. The sun was shining bright even though it was only ten in the morning, and when he waded into the shallow end, the sunlight made the water droplets on his skin glisten.

Oh
god
, his skin.

Daniel had been right. He
did
have tattoos. I wasn’t normally the kind of girl to go after bad boys, nor was I ever really a fan of tattoos, but his looked so perfectly fitting stretched across his ripped muscles.

Suddenly, I remembered seeing the outline of his nipple ring through his shirt and I wanted to get a closer look. Both at the piercing and his ink.

I exited the house and walked down the stairs, trying my best to appear casual as I strolled over to the pool house, even though I could feel his eyes on me the entire way there. I grabbed two towels for us and went back out, swallowing hard when I noticed him standing in the shallow end of the pool staring at me.

I feigned nonchalance as I dropped the towels onto a pair of chairs then made my way to the pool, even though my heart was thudding wildly in my chest. His attention was riveted to me and I couldn’t help thinking that maybe Daniel had been right.

Maybe he
did
want me.

Maybe this
was
inevitable.

And even though that thought scared the shit out of me, it also sent a shiver of desire up my spine as I carefully stepped into the pool. Luke was still watching me like a hawk and I wondered if he thought the shiver was from the water, or if he was perceptive enough to know what it was really about.

Once I was in and standing within six feet of him, it was extremely difficult to keep my eyes from wandering all over his body, but I somehow managed.

I cleared my throat and asked, “So, you going to show me these swimming skills of yours or what?”

He nodded and dived beneath the water, swimming effortlessly to the other end before twisting around and pushing off the edge with his feet and coming back to me. It was clear he was an experienced swimmer, and even though I had really just been teasing him, it was quite a sight to see.

When he popped out of the water close to me, I clapped my hands for him. “Very nice.”

He ran a hand through his wet hair, smoothing it back and sending water droplets down his neck and shoulder. My eyes tracked their path down to the barbell in his nipple and I caught myself before I licked my lips.

Sexually, I wasn’t experienced in the least. But I also wasn’t an idiot. Between movies, books, and the endless amount of details I got from Daniel, I had plenty of elaborate fantasies and things I wanted to try.

The desire to feel like metal bar against my tongue was strong.

“Jenna.”

“Hmm?” I hummed, partially lost in my fantasy.

“Look at me.”

Snapping out of my daze, I shifted my gaze up to his eyes. They were almost black and the sight made me gasp quietly. We were both so still that when his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, my eyes immediately tracked the movement.

“This was a bad idea,” he said, his voice pained. “I should go.”

“What? Why?” I asked, not quite understanding what he meant as he started to wade over to the steps of the pool.

He turned back and I couldn’t help myself—my gaze travelled down his soaking wet body.

Way
down.

Down far enough to see the very obvious—and very large—tent in his swimming trunks.

“Oh,” I said quietly, the sound coming out with a gasp.

His gaze followed mine and he winced when he realized what I was staring at. He attempted to cover himself with one hand and groaned when his hand landed on the hardness. The sound sent a thrill through my body that went straight to my core.

“I have to go,” he ground out. “I’m sorry.”

My initial thought was to call out to stop him, but he moved with such jerky and rapid movements that I knew it would likely do more harm than good to talk to him. After he wrapped the towel around his waist and rushed inside, I was left with the guilty feeling that I shouldn’t have provoked him.

With a heavy sigh, I flopped back into the water and floated around, losing myself in my thoughts as the sun beat down on my skin.

~*~*~

Almost two hours later, my tan had considerably improved, but my mood was still pretty sour.

The guilt that gnawed at my stomach wouldn’t go away and the urge to chase after Luke and apologize was still strong, even as the hours passed by. I flipped onto my stomach when the timer on my phone went off and sighed into my arms as I folded them under my chin.

A few minutes later, I felt the warmth from the sun suddenly stop and I looked up with a frown. Luke was standing above me, blocking some of the sun with his shadow. I squinted and noticed he was now dressed in a white tank top and a pair of loose-fitting basketball shorts. I propped myself up on my arms but he shook his head, gesturing for me to stay where I was.

“I just came out to apologize for what happened earlier.”

I was reluctant to say it, but I couldn’t stop my mouth from forming the words. “I don’t really understand what happened.”

He was silent for a long moment before he sighed and flopped down beside me in the other lounge chair. I twisted my neck to look at him curiously as he stared seriously at the pool.

“Do you know why I was in rehab?”

“Your mom told me.”

“Then surely you can understand how... difficult it is for me to be around women so soon after my... treatment.”

This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have without actually being face to face, so I pushed myself up even as he protested. I sat sideways on the seat to look at him, frowning when he turned his body away from mine.

“Could you— Could you cover yourself or something?” he choked out, making a wild gesture with his hand to my chest.

I nodded and wrapped the towel around my chest, twisting it at the front so it’d stay in place. “I’m decent.”

He turned back to me and sighed with relief, shaking his head afterwards as if to clear it of his thoughts. “Thanks. So, yeah. It’s not exactly easy to be around women for me right now. Seeing you practically fucking naked didn’t help.”

I couldn’t stop the words from pouring out of my mouth. “Your mom said you don’t know how to interact with women who aren’t your family.”

He grunted, obviously displeased that Clara had told me that, but not denying it either. “I guess that’s true enough.”

“But we’re about to become family.”

His head turned so fast that it gave
me
whiplash.

“Don’t say that,” he whispered harshly.

I frowned, totally confused by his anger. “Why not? You said it last night. You said—”

“I know what I said. I also know that I’m a fucking liar.”

I couldn’t respond. I had no idea what to say. My mouth dropped open to speak, but no words would come out. I was rendered speechless.

Daniel had been right all along. He totally called it.

Luke wanted me. I wanted Luke. It was going to happen.

The only question was
when
.

“Luke, I—”

“Don’t,” he stopped me, holding up his slightly shaky hand. “Just don’t. I can’t do this. Not with you; not now, not
ever
. I just can’t. I’m going out for a while. Tell my mom not to worry about me.”

Before I could protest or question where he was going, he abruptly stood up and jogged into the house. I thought about following him, but the sound of a car horn blaring outside told me that it would be a useless effort. I heard the car screech as it spun its tires on the road and knew he was already gone.

What the hell do I do now?

~*~*~

“You were right to call me. This
is
a tricky one.”

I rolled my eyes at Daniel as he paced back and forth in my bedroom, tapping his lips thoughtfully with his finger. After the talk with Luke by the pool, I had been desperate for advice. So I called the one man who I knew could help me with my problem.

But now, I was kind of regretting it.

“Daniel, we’re not planning a robbery.”

“Sure we are! We want Luke to rob you of your virginity, am I right?”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe I called you,” I cried as I buried my face in my hands.

Daniel snorted. “I can’t believe it either. You really should have known better.”

I let out a groan and flopped backward on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. “Alright, fine. So give me advice.
Good
advice! Like, to leave him the hell alone and stop this madness.”

“Oh, honey. You know if you wanted advice from the angel on your shoulder, you could’ve called Chelsea. But you didn’t. You called me. The devil you know.”

He wasn’t wrong. Chelsea was my other best friend from school, but she and I never became quite as close as I had with Daniel. It was strange because Chelsea and I were a lot alike—both good girls who followed the rules and didn’t cause trouble.

The problem was, I
wanted
to cause trouble, whereas Chelsea was happy with her life as it was. She had all her shit together. She even had a ten year plan. Her entire future mapped out, piece by perfect piece.

Me? I just wanted to latch on to Daniel and go on wild adventures. I just never had the guts to do it, so instead I settled for living vicariously through him.

“You’re right, you know,” I said to my ceiling.

Daniel stopped pacing and I could almost hear his eyebrow raise. “Did you just say I’m right? Can you say it again so I can record it?”

I sighed and sat up, giving him a withering glare. “Knock it off. You’re almost always right and you know it.”

“True, but you never say it.”

“Daniel, seriously. Please just tell me how to deal with this. Tell me how
you
would handle this. And how the hell can I get what I want without feeling guilty about it?”

Sensing the severity of how badly I felt, Daniel’s eyes softened and he sat down beside me. “Jen, you know that any way we do this, you’re probably still going to feel guilty about it. It’s just the kind of person you are.”

“So should I just leave him alone?”

“Oh, hell no. But the trick of this is—you have to let
him
come to
you
. You can
not
be the one to make a move on him, no matter what. He’s a grown man; he can make his own choices. And besides, it’s not like the guy is never going to have sex again just because he was an addict once. That’s just ridiculous.”

“So I shouldn’t feel bad?”

Daniel pursed his lips together and shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe just a little? Because you are about to drive him absolutely insane.”

I felt the color drain from my face as I asked, “I am?”

Daniel grinned. “Oh yeah. Because I’ll give you my advice under one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You follow it down to the
letter
. You do every single thing I tell you to. I know, it sounds daunting. But I promise it’s going to work and I’m not going to make you do anything insane.”

The grin he was wearing made me nervous, but considering I was running so low on options, I didn’t see another way to go about it. I thought back to my comparison between myself and Chelsea and steeled my resolve.

It was my turn to be wild for once. I was sick of living through Daniel’s experiences. If this was the kind of life I wanted—crazy and exciting and full of spontaneity—there was only one way I was going to get it.

“Okay, I’ll do it. Whatever you say.”

Daniel’s grin widened. “Excellent. So, here’s how it’s going to play out...”

~*~*~