Hunger (Chicken Ranch Gentlemen's Club Book 1) (11 page)

Killian was surprised when Declan called him out of the blue and invited him to lunch. It wasn't that they hadn't done things spontaneously, but he could have sworn Declan was scheduled to work. He usually pulled a four-day shift, and it had only been three since Declan had gone back to Chicken Ranch. Three days since Killian had suggested they move in together and had gotten no reply. To Killian, it felt like a lifetime. Although pushing away his pessimistic streak wasn't easy, he held on to the fragile hope that Declan was ready to give him the answer he wanted.

While he hoped nothing was wrong, he was still anxious to see his lover. They spoke most nights, but it wasn't the same as being together. Killian missed his lover's smile, his quick wit, and most of all, the way Declan made him feel when they were together. They didn't have to talk, fuck, or any of the other myriad things possible. Just being in the younger man's presence fulfilled Killian in a way nothing else ever had. He was so in love, he almost made himself sick with all the mushy stuff running through his mind.

Killian found himself whistling as he left work and traveled to the rustic little diner where Declan had requested they meet. Knowing he was early, he went ahead inside and took a seat in one of the booths by the window, smiling as he waited for his lover. An older couple at the next table shot him a strange look, probably because they thought he was a moron for grinning while he was sitting there all alone, but he didn't let their superficial opinion bother him.

It was a beautiful day, the bright midday sun shining through the fingerprint-littered window, and he was in a good mood. For the first time in his life, he was truly happy.

Sometimes he felt as if he were walking on a bubble set to burst at any moment, but the rush of tender emotions Declan engendered was worth the uncertainties that crept into his mind from time to time. Most of them simply came from Killian's own lack of confidence. It was hard not to be apprehensive when the man you loved fucked other people for a living, most of whom were probably wealthier, better looking, and a hell of a lot more charming than Killian could ever hope to be.

As much as he tried not to think about how Declan supported himself, there were times when the doubts wouldn't be dissuaded, when horrible thoughts and images refused to be purged from his mind. All he could do was trust that their relationship was as important to Declan as it was to him. Even if he had to accept sharing Declan's body with other men, Killian couldn't settle for less than everything when it came to his young lover's affections. Sex was one thing; emotional intimacy was another.

However, now was not the time to dwell on things he couldn't change. He was trying his very best not to hold Declan's job against him. It wasn't his fault he'd been forced to do less-than-favorable things to survive. Killian couldn't say what he would have done in the same situation.

He glanced up in time to see Declan breeze through the door. The fine locks of his lover's platinum hair were windblown into spiky peaks and valleys, his cheeks pinkened from the brisk wind. He wore a bright blue jacket that brought out the color of his eyes and skintight jeans that hugged his long, athletic legs.

Killian had never seen anyone more attractive. His smile spread farther as his lover approached the booth. "Hey."

Declan slid into the booth across from Killian. "Hey, yourself, handsome. Thanks for meeting me here on such short notice."

"It wasn't any trouble. I'm glad you called."

The waitress arrived and interrupted him before he could ask why Declan had wanted to meet. A woman with hair the color of steel wool pulled back into a tight bun at her nape and a large, round face marred with wrinkles briskly took their order and then left them to their own devices.

"So," Killian began. "What's up? I thought you were supposed to be on duty today."

"I am… Well, I was. Things have been really slow this week, so I slipped out for lunch."

"All right."

Declan reached across the table and covered Killian's hand with his own. "I really wanted to talk to you, and I didn't want to wait until this weekend."

Killian chuckled, although it sounded as forced as it felt. "That sounds ominous."

"No, not really. I've been doing some thinking about what you said."

Killian forced himself to take a breath. "And?"

"I want to give it a try—living together."

"You do?"

Declan smiled. "Yes."

"That's great." Their gazes met and locked. Declan's expression was so soft and tender, it took all of Killian's willpower not to lean across the table and kiss him senseless. He didn't know what his own mug looked like, but it felt big and dopey. He didn't care. "I can't wait to get you moved in. I miss you when you're not around."

"I miss you too." Declan rubbed his thumb over Killian's knuckles. "There's just one thing… I'd like to hang on to my apartment for a while. It isn't that I don't trust you, but I don't want to be caught in a bad place if you decide you hate living with me."

Killian threaded his fingers through Declan's. "That'll never happen. I love having you around."

"You say that now, but you never know what might happen down the road."

The waitress chose that moment to deliver their meals. She set Declan's BLT and fries down in front of Killian, and Killian's cheeseburger in front of Declan. Unlike their meals, she got their drink orders right.

The men traded plates and then dug into their food, eating silently for a few minutes. Surprisingly, although the service wasn't the greatest, the diner's burgers were quite good. The meat practically melted in his mouth and the tomatoes were ripe and juicy.

Between bites, Killian said, "This is good. How's yours?"

"It's fine." Declan sipped his iced tea. "The seasoned fries are really good here."

"Oh yeah?" Killian snagged one of Declan's fries and popped it in his mouth. "You're right. They're great. Crispy."

Declan laughed and pretended to hide his plate behind his arm. "Get your own, fry thief."

"But they might not be as good as yours," Killian teased.

"All right." Declan reached across the table and snatched one of the pickles off Killian's plate. "I'll share my fries, if you share your pickles."

"You can have my pickle anytime you want it."

Declan snorted. "Oh, that was terrible."

"I know." Killian winked. "I couldn't help myself."

Declan appeared pensive as he nibbled a fry. "What do you think about my moving in? Do you want to do it while I'm off later this week or wait?"

"As soon as possible works for me, but I'll go along with whatever you want. It isn't like you don't spend most of your downtime at my place anyway."

"It isn't like I have very much to move. Just some clothes and stuff. After I finish off my shift, I could go home, get my stuff, and meet you at your place around the same time you get in from work."

Killian squeezed Declan's hand. "That sounds good to me. Really good. But are you sure you don't need any help getting your things?"

"Nah, I'll take care of it."

"Take care of what?" a new voice asked.

Killian turned his head and goggled at Cash. "What are you doing here?"

"What?" Cash said. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your little friend?"

"Um…" Killian shot a sympathetic look at his lover. "This is Declan. Declan, this is Cash."

"Hi." Cash thrust his hand forward. "Nice to meet you."

"You too." Declan slid his palm out from underneath Killian's and shook Cash's hand.

Cash wiped his hand on his pants and slid into the booth next to Killian, forcing Killian up against the window. "So, how long has this been going on? I didn't know you had it in you, Killian, you old dog."

Declan's attention shifted from Cash to Killian. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, you know… I mentioned the whorehouse to Killian months ago, but I didn't know he'd take it upon himself to rent a little action."

"I-I'm not sure what you mean. Declan and I are d-d-dating." Heat exploded up Killian's neck and blossomed over his face. This situation was a train wreck waiting to happen unless he did something to fix it really quick. He didn't want to think about how Cash recognized Declan as being someone from Chicken Ranch, but it didn't take a genius to figure out that two plus two equaled four.

"Hey, man, it's all right. You don't need to play dumb with me. I've been out to the country more than once since I mentioned it to you. I can't say that I've sampled this sweet little piece, but I can rectify that right quick." Cash stood and leaned across the booth. "How much do you charge for a little bump and grind, sugar?"

The heat of embarrassment Killian felt disappeared, replaced by pure, unadulterated rage. Before he could consider his actions, Killian thrust his hands out and shoved Cash out of the booth.

The other man hit the ground on his side and quickly rolled to his feet while the few other people in the diner looked on. "What the fuck, man? If you wanted him all to yourself, all you had to do is say so. We're buds, aren't we?"

"No," Killian said quietly. "I don't think we are." He turned his attention to his lover, who he only then realized hadn't said a single word to defend himself. "Are you ready to go, love?"

"Yeah." Declan nodded. His straight white upper teeth sank into the blushing flesh of his bottom lip as he scooted toward the end of the booth. Unable to miss the nervous glance Declan shot Cash's way, Killian held out his hand. "Come on. Let's get out of here."

"All right." Declan took Killian's hand and stepped around Cash.

Killian was chagrined to find Declan's gaze didn't lift high enough to meet his own. Was Declan pissed at his outburst? He'd never gotten physically violent with anyone in his life, but he couldn't sit by and listen to Cash accost the man he loved. He wouldn't stand for it. Surely Declan wouldn't believe Killian would turn that anger on him?

"You don't want to do this, Killian." Cash wiped imagined dirt off the seat of his designer slacks. "We've been friends for far too long to let a used-up piece of ass come between us."

Killian forced his hands to relax and shot a withering look toward Cash. "If you'd like to keep all those pretty caps you had put on your front teeth, I suggest you watch how you refer to the man I love. As far as what you and I used to be to each other, you can consider that past tense. I don't associate with jackasses."

Killian ignored Declan's soft gasp in favor of watching Cash storm out of the diner. He wasn't sorry to see the other man go. Their friendship had run its course; he just wished he would have ended the association long ago. Maybe if he had, he would have saved Declan the discomfiture of meeting the other man.

It wasn't until after he'd paid for their meal and led them outside that Declan finally spoke. "I'm sorry for causing you problems, Killian. Maybe we should rethink me moving in with you."

"What?" Killian exclaimed, flabbergasted. "No. I'm sorry for what I said and did in there, but you have to know I would never lay a finger on you in anger. I'd just as soon cut my own hand off first."

"It's not that." Declan leaned against the rust bucket he called a car.

"What it is then?" Killian's fingers itched to soothe away the worry lines crossing Declan's forehead. He wanted nothing more than to take his lover in his arms and comfort him, but his feet stayed rooted to the gravel below. Declan was giving off a strong vibe that practically shouted,
Back off.

"I don't want to come between you and your friends. That guy in there isn't the only one who's going to look down on you for dating a whore."

"That's bullshit, Declan. What you do for a living is irrelevant. Any person who looks down on me for finally finding someone to love isn't worth having as a friend. I apologize for the scene I made in the diner, but I'm not going to let you use it as an excuse to end things between us. If you don't want to be with me, then say so. Otherwise, I'm going to assume nothing has changed between us. I still want you to move in; nothing would please me more."

Declan fidgeted, kicking at the gravel. "Things have changed."

"Oh." Killian felt the color leech out of his world. Cash's foul mouth and Killian's own outburst had obviously killed any prayer of a relationship with Declan.
What the hell am I going to do now?
He had to think of some way to mend fences with Declan. The thought of never seeing the younger man again twisted something dark and nasty deep within Killian's chest.

"What you said in there… Did you mean it?"

"Oh." Realization dawned on Killian and restored his hope that he'd misread the situation. "
Oh
. Yes! Every syllable."

"Say it again." Declan grabbed hold of Killian's blazer, twisted his fingers around the lapel, and pulled him forward. "Say it to me this time."

Killian stared down at his lover, taken by the tiny ember of optimism burning in the china blue depths of Declan's eyes. He cupped the shorter man's cheek, brushing Declan's hair away from his face, and rubbed his thumb over the plump flesh of Declan's lower lip. He held Declan's gaze, staring into his lover's expressive eyes. "I love you, Declan. I think I have for a while now; I just didn't want to say the words and scare you off. These last few months we've spent together have been the happiest of my life."