Hungry for Love (14 page)

Laura shook her head as she heard Kevin
’
s end of the conversation and easily inserted what was being said on the other side.  The only thing she didn
’
t know was whose voice it was
,
but how did that matter.  Some version of this conversation had been taking place for years in her marriage and the woman on the other end of the line never was Laura.

Peculiarly he said next
,
“
I wouldn
’
t even have to stop for the fudge.  Got a jar in the car.
”

Fudge
,
thought Laura. What on earth was his game now
?
  This was definitely a new angle.

“
That game will go on for hours
,”
insisted Kevin and then imploringly
,
“
Let me come over.
”
 

Laura bowed her head
,
a sad but wry expression on her face.  It never ended.  Yet she never did anything about it.  To her this was a personal indictment and it made her feel rotten about herself even more than about Kevin
,
even more than about their marriage
,
which clearly was long dead
,
just not yet buried.

Then Kevin snickered
,
“
You kidding—she wouldn
’
t even notice.  Let me worry about my wife.
”

Despite her desire to be a wry sophistocate who could take this betrayal in stride because she
’
d already had so much practice
,
a look of pain crossed Laura
’
s face.  As she began to creep away she heard his last comment.

“
He
’
s not the saint you think he is.
”

Dirty and jubliant
,
Bill and Will burst through the door carrying baseball equipment and looking like they
’
d just come in from winning a war. 
“
Girls!
”
shouted Bill
,
“
We won!  You missed a great game.
”

Chrissy
,
feeling apprehensive about Bill
,
tense about what might transpire that evening
,
and guilty about having eaten a massive three bites of lasagna
,
approached him tentatively.  He grabbed her like a swashbuckling Errol Flynn
,
of whom she
’
d never heard
,
and kissed her with bravado.  Not enjoying the sense that she was being toyed with
,
Chrissy tensed up and became even more withdrawn.  Her voice cold and angry
,
she said
,
“
You reek!
”

Bill laughed and hugged her
,
oblivious to the mini drama that was playing inside her mind. 
“
Yeah
,
we need showers.
”

Scowling ever more deeply
,
she said
,
“
Of pizza.
”

Observing this
,
Will headed for his room as Bill said crossly
,
“
For God
’
s sake.  I
’
m going to shower.  We can talk after.
”

Talk!  Bill had said talk.  Chrissy knew what that meant—it was obvious what was coming.  Her head began to pound again
,
not that it had ever stopped.  Pacing and beginning to hyperventilate
,
she reached for the phone and while dialing
,
she bent over
,
placing her head between her knees.  If she
’
d had a paper bag
,
she would have been breathing into it.

She performed the usual ritual in attempting to recall Ben
’
s number
,
dialing 1-800-shrinkk several times before she got it correct and ultimately got the phone to ring.  When Ben answered
,
her voice was truly mournful
,
“
Hi
,
it
’
s Chrissy again.  It
’
s over
,
I know it
’
s over.  He wants to talk.  What am I supposed to do now
?”

As Ben
’
s voice came through at the other end of the line
,
she resumed pacing
,
hearing only part of what he was saying
,
politely waiting until it would be her turn again to speak. 
“
I tell you I won
’
t go back to Godiva. I won
’
t!  I can
’
t!  No.  Never again.
”

Then she paused and almost considered Ben
’
s question
,
to which she replied
,
“
No
,
he didn
’
t say that.
”
  And again a pause and a reply
,
“
No
,
I didn
’
t try that.
”
 

Her pacing heated up and as she listened to what was an attempt on his part to calm her down
,
she walked to her purse and began digging it in
,
but couldn
’
t find what she sought
,
so she dumped the contents out and began pawing through them.  There were mini exercise gadgets
,
empty prescription bottles
,
which she opened although she knew their contents were long ago used up
,
and just for good measure
,
she gave them a shake before hurling each one down.  With trembling hands
,
she opened a lipstick
,
applied it without a mirror
,
then twitched and freaked out a bit more
,
shook her head
,
then rubbed the lipstick off on the back of her hand.  Wondering was it too late to take her over the counter diet pills
,
she shrugged with intense frustration and downed several. 

Interrupting Ben
,
she said
,
“
And you
’
re absolutely sure psychologists can
’
t prescribe drugs
?”
  It didn
’
t matter how many times previously she
’
d asked that question
,
she continued as though it had never before been expressed
,
“
But that doesn
’
t include Valium
,
right
?”

Bill had showered and tucked the kids in for the night and by this time was in the bed
,
a thick stack of medical journals on his bedside table.  Instead of reading
,
he was holding a small
,
framed photo of his wife and kids.  He gazed at it peacefully
,
now and then running his finger across the glass.

Bill spotted Chrissy entering the bedroom from their bathroom and hastily stashed the picture back in his bedside drawer as she stopped to spritz herself with some perfume. 

Tense and still overwrought
,
it was her plan to seduce Bill
,
to remind him of all the things about her he loved
,
even though she couldn
’
t enumerate any of them at the moment.  She was wearing a beautiful peignoir set which any man would like and she knew exactly what to do.  She clicked on the stereo
,
turning the volume low
,
and launched into her plan of attack.

How many evenings had she worked out on the treadmill while
Dancing with the Stars
was on television
?
  She didn
’
t know how many
,
but a lot.  How many times had she seen those lithe TV dancers perform the Rhumba
,
the dance of love
?
  Also a lot.  So this was her chance to writhe and wriggle her way back into Bill
’
s heart—and his pants.

Bill looked up
,
quite surprised to see Chrissy squirming along in the room
,
doing some sort of new exercise maneuver.  It didn
’
t look like Yoga exactly
,
but it did involve some hip thrusts and several leg kicks.  This was getting serious.  Now she was dressing in seductive lingerie to work out.  She never stopped working out.  Her movements became jerkier and jerkier and Bill began to wonder would she dislocate a hip or a shoulder.  There was something that looked like a squat thrust.  Terrified to keep watching
,
but too entranced to glance away
,
Bill watched with a combined expression of confusion and horror.