Hunk and Thud (8 page)

‘I guess those are our opponents,' said Sam. ‘Slash and Burn.'

‘Orcs!' snorted Big Rock derisively, and he made a fart noise again.

After the usual introductions in the ring by the Master of Ceremonies, with different sections of the crowd showing their support for the separate tag teams, the waving of placards, the chanting and singing of their favourites' names, the bout got underway. The rules of tag wrestling were simple: one wrestler from each team in the ring at one time; with their partner outside on the apron of the ring, leaning on the ropes. To change wrestlers, the one in the ring had to touch – or ‘tag' – the hand of his partner outside the ring; at which point they changed over: the one in the ring coming out, and the other coming into the ring, to carry on the battle.

From the outset, the two orcs started breaking the rules, with both of them in the ring at the same time, attacking Big Rock when he was in on his own. The referee immediately ordered one of the orcs out of the ring, at which the orcs' supporters began protesting and booing loudly. At first it looked as if neither orc would leave, but then Sam reached into the ring, grabbed Slash and hauled him over the ropes and dumped him out of the ring, on the floor of the hall near the front row of seats.

In the ring, Big Rock grabbed hold of Burn, turned him upside down and slammed him head first into the canvas. The orc was tough, though. Instead of collapsing, Burn kicked out with both feet and sent the big troll staggering backwards towards the ropes. Slash had returned and immediately leant forward, grabbed hold of Big Rock and pulled him back, then wrapped the top rope around the troll's neck.

Burn bounced forward in a high leap and kicked the trapped Big Rock hard in the chest with both feet, while Slash raked his sharp talons across Big Rock's skull. Both orcs then started to thump Big Rock, while the troll struggled to extricate himself from the rope.

Sam had been calling angrily for the referee to intervene, but despite the referee trying to call the two orcs to order, Slash and Burn carried on pounding Big Rock. Furious, Sam also decided to ignore the rules. He leapt into the ring, marched up to Burn, grabbed hold of the orc and threw him out of the ring to land among a group of orc supporters crowded in an aisle.

Sam helped Big Rock untangle himself from the ropes, then both went back to their corner and waited for the two orcs to scramble back into theirs. The orcs were furious, both complaining loudly to the referee about Sam, waving their claws angrily and demanding that Sam and Big Rock be disqualified, but the referee shook his head and pointed them to return to their corner.

This time it was Slash and Sam who took to the ring, with Big Rock and Burn pacing around the apron, watching and waiting to be tagged and called into action.

Slash did his best to live up to his name, slashing at Sam with his sharp talons, but Sam kept ducking and dodging, and the orc's claws whistled by him, just missing by a whisker each time. All the while, Sam kept moving, in a crouch, waiting for the right moment to grab the orc, but very aware of those sharp claws.

On the ropes, Burn growled, frustrated by the failure of his partner to land a cutting blow on Sam. Suddenly Burn gave an eerie sound, a sharp whistle. It was obviously a signal for some kind of concerted action, because Slash stopped waving his claws and trying to mark Sam. Instead, he smiled, and then suddenly launched himself head first at Sam, his head aimed like a cannon ball. Jack had already seen how hard the top of an orc's skull was from earlier in the bout, when Big Rock had slammed Burn head first into the canvas, with no effect.

At the same time, Burn hurled himself into the ring head first, also aiming at Sam, and Jack realised with horror that the orcs were intending to crush Sam between their hard skulls, like two hammers crashing together.

‘Behind you!' shouted Big Rock in warning, but Sam had obviously been expecting something like this because he dropped like a stone, and the two orcs collided hard skull against hard skull above him.

The collision of the two orcs smashing their heads against one another was felt all the way round the hall. Some people shuddered at the sound of the impact, others gasped in shock.

The two orcs crashed to the canvas and lay there, head to head, their arms and legs twitching slightly, but otherwise they were out cold.

The referee began his count: ‘One. Two. Three …' By the time he reached seven, the two orcs had just begun to move slightly, but they were too dazed to do much more than try to push themselves up, and they slumped down to the canvas again as the referee finished his count: ‘Eight. Nine. Ten! And I declare the winners of this tag event to be: Big Rock and Sam Dent!'

Milo and Jack joined Big Rock and Sam in the dressing room.

‘Fantastic!' Milo congratulated them. ‘Fair play won! The cheats lost!'

‘They certainly did!' said a voice.

They turned and saw that Hunk had arrived and was smiling broadly at Big Rock and Sam. ‘You two work so well together. You should stay as a tag team! You'd be awesome!'

‘Unfortunately, I can't do that,' said Sam ruefully. ‘I love wrestling, but I've got a full-time job, helping Princess Ava run the Kingdom of Weevil. We're just getting it back on its feet after a revolution there.'

‘He
Sir
Sam Dent,' said Big Rock. ‘Big important man.'

‘Wow!' said Hunk, impressed.

‘Like I say, I wrestle when I can, but helping Princess Ava is hard work.'

‘She's tough, is she?' asked Hunk.

Sam grinned and winked at Jack and Milo.

‘You've no idea how tough she is!' he smiled.

Hunk turned to Big Rock.

‘Hey, then how about you and me?' he suggested.

‘You and me what?' asked Big Rock, puzzled.

‘As a tag team,' said Hunk. ‘Tag-Wrestling Trolls! I am such a huge fan of yours, Big Rock! You are such an awesome wrestler! I hope one day to be as good as you, but in the meantime, I could learn from you as we work together! I'm already good, but I could be so much better! What do you say?'

Big Rock stared at Hunk in bewilderment, then at Jack and Milo. The big troll wasn't used to getting this sort of enthusiastic fan treatment.

‘Well …' he began, still taken aback.

‘It would be brilliant!' continued Hunk enthusiastically. ‘Awesome!' He turned to Milo and asked: ‘What do you say, Milo?'

Milo hesitated and looked at Jack. ‘What do you think, Jack?' he asked.

‘It's a good
idea
,' Jack said carefully. Then he turned to Hunk and said: ‘The only thing is, we haven't seen you wrestle yet, so we don't know what you're like.'

‘You mean, if I'm any good,' said Hunk.

‘No,' said Jack quickly, and he wondered if it was obvious that he was lying. ‘I mean, we don't know what your style is, and how it would work with Big Rock.'

Hunk grinned. ‘Trust me, I am a fantastic wrestler! Strong, tough, courageous, with some great moves! And I am a troll! And the sign on your caravan says WWT – Waldo's Wrestling Trolls! At the moment you've only got one.'

‘Good point,' nodded Big Rock. ‘Need more trolls.'

‘It'll be perfect!' beamed Hunk.

‘Er …' said Milo awkwardly. ‘Yes, it's a good idea …'

‘Great!' boomed Big Rock happily.

‘… but I need to think about it.'

Big Rock frowned.

‘What to think about?'

‘Er … the billing. Contracts. That sort of thing,' said Milo lamely.

‘I understand!' smiled Hunk. ‘Business! You think about it, Milo, and let us know. Me and Big Rock can't wait to get in that ring as a tag team!' He clapped Big Rock on the shoulder. ‘Come on, Big Rock. Let's go and get some granite pebbles to munch, while Milo thinks about it.'

Milo and Jack watched as Big Rock and Hunk walked away to the refreshment tent.

‘Well?' asked Milo, when the two wrestlers were out of earshot.

‘In theory it's a good idea,' said Jack. ‘Troll tag wrestlers. Like Hunk said, it's what it says on the caravan.'

‘But …?' queried Milo.

‘Hunk could be a fake,' said Robin, appearing beside them. ‘He talks about being a great wrestler, but we've never seen him in action. He could be planning to use Big Rock to get his career going: Big Rock does the wrestling in the ring, and all Hunk does is pose.'

Milo and Jack nodded thoughtfully at this.

‘The trouble is, Big Rock's all excited about the idea. He won't be happy if we say no to him and Hunk as a tag team,' continued Jack unhappily. ‘So, how do we say no without upsetting Big Rock?'

Milo sighed gloomily.

‘I'm his manager, I guess that's up to me to handle,' he said.

Milo and Jack found Big Rock on the green outside the Town Hall. Big Rock was signing autographs for fans, pressing his thumbprint into their autograph books. Hunk was telling the waiting fans that he and Big Rock were going to be appearing as a troll tag team.

Milo and Jack detached Big Rock from the fans and took him and Hunk to their caravan.

‘We think you two as a tag team is a great idea!' said Milo. ‘Fantastic!'

‘Great!' beamed Big Rock.

‘Brilliant!' grinned Hunk.

‘But first, we think it would be a good idea to see you in the ring together. You know, a friendly bout, just to see Hunk in action.'

‘Excellent!' smiled Hunk. ‘When?'

‘How about today?' said Milo. ‘After all, the ring's still in place.'

‘Awesome!' said Hunk. ‘How about we do it in an hour, to give me time to get limbered up. I like to do a practice run to get myself fit.'

‘Fine,' said Milo.

‘I come with you!' suggested Big Rock enthusiastically. ‘We do practice run together.'

Hunk gave Big Rock an apologetic smile.

‘I'm sorry, Big Rock,' he said. ‘The thing is, I also meditate while I run. So, please don't take offence, but I like to do my meditation run on my own.'

Big Rock frowned.

‘Meditate?' he repeated, puzzled.

‘I get in touch with my inner troll,' said Hunk. ‘Is that okay with you?'

‘Sure,' nodded Big Rock.

‘Cool,' said Hunk. ‘I'll see you at the ring in an hour.'

With that, Hunk set off, his big troll feet pounding away on the grass. Big Rock watched him go.

‘He meditate,' he told Milo and Jack.

‘So we heard,' said Milo.

Big Rock frowned.

‘What means meditate?' he asked.

‘It means … er … thinking,' said Milo. ‘Deep thinking.'

‘Ah,' nodded Big Rock.

He stood there, silent, for a few seconds, then announced: ‘I done thinking. Now I go and practise and get ready.'

And with that, the huge troll started going through some moves to limber up, while Milo and Jack watched.

‘What do you think?' whispered Milo to Jack.