Hunter (Broken Bad Boys 1): A New Adult Bad Boy Romance (9 page)

She shakes her head. “Not since the hospital.”

“Not even graduation?”

“He avoided me the whole time. I didn’t even really want to talk to him. My parents tried, but…” She shrugs. “It may have been for the best that way.”

For the best? There were many things that would have been for the best of everyone involved. Him leaving her on her own in the hospital wasn’t one of them. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She tries to smile. “It meant that I could stay with Lizzy.”

That surprises me. “You never left? You were even accepted at the university you wanted to go to.”

“I stayed here. I couldn’t leave my family alone. I realized that I never wanted to leave.” She shrugs. “Maybe in a few years, but not now.”

I nod. “So, you’re now in your last year?”

“Yeah, hopefully finishing up this year. You?”

“First year, again.”

Now it’s her turn to frown. “How?”

“I stayed at home and took care of Joey until the end. And then when I did start…”

“Tessa’s accident.”

I nod. The pain is still raw. There is nothing that can prepare you for a sudden loss like hers, though Joey’s wasn’t much better. “It makes it a bit weird, I’m quite a bit older than the rest, but it’s okay. People stay away from me anyway.”

“I’ve heard the rumors… if they’re only rumors.” The tone of her voice is questioning, accusatory, as she looks at my face. The bruises have faded mostly, but the worst of them are still visible.

“Some are true, others aren’t.” I shrug. “I guess it’s easier when people fear you, you don’t have to deal with them.”

“Apart from Lizzy.”

“She has no fear.” She may be scared, but she fights every fear she has.

“She has a lot of fear, anxieties, but she won’t show them. She can appear really strong. But inside… Her darkness scares me sometimes.” Lola’s voice drifts off, and then she pulls herself back. “On that note, I should probably go back.”

“Yeah. I loved seeing you again. If you’re free, come by the workshop. I’m usually there.” Now the new semester has started, I prefer the workshop over my own place or my parents’ place. It feels more like a future instead of a past.

“I might, if Lizzy is okay with it. It’s her place too.” Lola smiles. “She was supposed to bring me there today.”

“Well, that’s promising. Right?” I reach out to her and she wraps her arms around me. “See you soon.”

“You too.” Lola steps back, watching me put on my jacket and helmet. “Have a safe trip.”

I wave at her and turn on the bike, rolling down the side of the house, to the road instead of the forest. I should probably get here the normal way the next time.

If there is a next time.

If I didn’t just totally mess everything up with Lizzy.

I
watch Hunter drive off
, his broad back straining the jacket and his strong legs wrapped around the bike. My stomach flutters. He looks so strong and dangerous when he’s like this. But at the same time, I’ve seen his other sides, both when we modeled for Tamara, and now again here.

At the sound of Lola’s feet downstairs, I come from my spot at the window and get back into bed quickly. I’ve just made myself comfortable when she opens the door to my room.

She smiles as she sits next to me on the bed. “So, Hunter is the guy.” I can’t read her voice—she seems glad, but also worried, and something else.

“Yeah.” My cheeks heat up. Damn, no. I can’t blush over this, not now. Hunter can’t be mine.

Now she smiles as she looks at me. “He’s a good guy, even if he doesn’t act like it.”

That stops any happy feelings. Instead a burning starts in my chest. “How well did you know him?” Did she date him? I’ve never heard her talk about a guy before, at least not as far as I can remember. And the way they reacted to each other, there is a history there. Definitely a history.

“We were friends. And Tessa too. We had a couple of people that we hung out with.”

“Tessa?” I’ve not heard that name before, and definitely not from Hunter. He doesn’t really like to talk about the past, so we usually talk about art, or other not-so-important things. And I’m totally okay with that. Even if that is bound to change now.

“His ex-girlfriend. They were the hottest couple at the school. Lots of jealous people.” Lola grins, and it’s both sad and happy. “He hasn’t told you about her?”

When I just look at her, not saying anything, she nods. This is all new to me.

“Makes sense. Sounds like him.” She opens her mouth a couple of times. “I’m not sure if I should be the one to tell you. It’s his story to tell, really. I only know what I’ve read in the newspapers.”

The newspapers? How would a breakup be in the newspapers? “Now you have to tell me. You can’t just say that and not continue.” There was something that Hanna said at the start of the year, the first time I saw Hunter. “A friend said that something bad happened last year.”

“Tessa crashed her motorbike. Hunter was there with her. She didn’t survive.” Lola’s voice breaks. “I can’t imagine what he must have gone through.”

What?! Damn. No wonder he looks so tormented. I wrap my arms around her. “I’m so sorry. For him to lose her like that, but also for you to lose a friend like that.” I squeeze my eyes shut. I can’t cry right now—this isn’t about me, this is about Lola, and Hunter. “Damn.” My voice is hoarse. “I didn’t…”

Lola wraps her arms around me tightly. “They were so great together. She was such a great girl. Smart, kind, and all kinds of awesome.”

My stomach drops, all the things I’m not, obviously. I still in Lola’s arms and she lets me go. I can’t fight the tears any more, not now, not like this. Even my sister thinks this is a bad idea. But Lola does fit all the criteria she just listed. “Have you ever wanted to be his girlfriend?” I force the words out.

She looks at me, silent for a moment before she shakes her head. “No. He was my friend, we could talk to each other easily, but that’s all.”

“Did you have a boyfriend?” The words come out of my mouth and I didn’t even mean to ask them. But she knows when I have feelings for a guy, or even when I’ve got a boyfriend, but she never shares.

Lola looks away, but not before I see the pain in her eyes, just a flash. “At one point. But I don’t want to talk about it.” Her words are clipped and she stands up. “Go have your lunch. I’ll come pick up the plate later.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” I reach out to her, wanting to pull her back. I hate hurting her, and I’ve done just that.

“It’s okay. See you later. Please try to rest.”

Damn! She is at the door before I can get out of bed. I grab for her, just getting the sleeve of her shirt, but I hold on. I could hear the tears in her voice. I can’t let her go like that. I can’t have her be in pain over something I said, especially when I didn’t even mean to hurt her.

Lola turns to me, taking my fingers from her sleeve. The look in her eyes hurts, not the pain, or the sadness, but the distancing. “No. I can’t do this right now. This is not something I can share.”

I swallow hard. “At least… don’t be alone. I’m here for you. You don’t even have to talk.”

“I can’t do that, not now. Eat, or Mum and Dad will be worried. Yeah?” She walks out of the room and closes the door behind her.

A sob overtakes my body, all my energy leaving me. I curl up in bed, hiding under the blankets as the sobs won’t stop. It’s too much, just too much. First the fainting, then Hunter coming here, and now Lola. I hurt her. Something happened, something that I don’t even know about. I can see it in her eyes. She’s been hiding something big from me, and now I poked at it. No, not just me—seeing Hunter already gave her that look. What happened to them? What happened that they all have that look?

Hunter… I understand his darkness so much better now, why he has so much pain. Losing his girlfriend like that… No wonder he isn’t dating anyone. Which is only for the better for me.

* * *

I
curl
up with my drawing pad on the couch, hiding under the covers as I blast music through my little speakers. I need to draw my feelings, I need to let everything go, or it won’t get any better.

“Lizzy.” Mum’s voice makes me jump out of my skin. I turn around, looking at her as she turns down the music. “You weren’t at dinner. And what happened with Lola?”

“Hm?” Lots happened, but I’ve got no idea what she’s talking about specifically.

“She’s been upset all afternoon, like you, blasting music from your high school years all day.” She sits down on the coffee table. “What happened?”

I’ve got no idea how to explain it. “I fainted this morning. And a friend came to check on me. She already knew him. Hunter?”

“The Porter boy? Yeah, they used to be friends.” Mum nods. “I guess they lost contact after high school.” In the silence, her face falls. “I guess that it’s hard for her to remember those days.” Then her eyes focus on me. “What is your excuse?”

I shrug. “Crappy day, crappy week.”

She looks at me. “Have you eaten dinner yet?”

I shake my head. It takes everything in me not to lie right now. It would be so easy.

“I’ll bring you some. Just… don’t just hide yourself away. We worry.” She puts her hand under my chin. “If you don’t feel well, talk to us, please. We can’t read your mind, so you need to tell us if you need help.” She reaches out to my stereo again.

“Just leave it like this. It’s fine.” I lean back, thinking about what she just told me. They worry, but somehow they’re hiding this secret from me and it doesn’t occur to them that I may need to know about it too.

Mum leaves again after smiling at me, but I can see the change in her eyes. It seems that the only one who doesn’t know what happened to Lola is me. A coldness settles in my stomach and suddenly I can’t sit still anymore. My family has been hiding things from me, and somehow I just need to be okay with that?

I stand up and grab my jacket. I’m tired of being locked inside. I need to be outside for a while. I open the door and walk out back, out into the forest. I need to walk this off, or I’ll blow up at the wrong person.

* * *

I
walk into the studio
, a knot in my stomach. I’ll have to face Tamara and Hunter, and that scares me for totally different reasons. But when I walk into the main area, only one of the photographers is here—Damon, a guy I’ve known for years. He used to be at the old workshop way back when I attended too.

“Good morning,” Damon calls out to me, as he plays with his camera.

“Morning. Tamara in yet?” I take my jacket off and dump it near the door.

“Nah, I’m the only one.” He stands up and looks at me. “You wanna model for me? I need to test the new lamps and I want to play with some settings on the camera.”

It’s not the first time he’s asked me this. Damon loves shooting with human models. He’s always got people coming around for shoots, or he’ll be out in the middle of nowhere. He’s probably one of the only people I let take my picture, just because he’s done it so often and they always come out so well. “Sure. Where do you want me?”

He looks around. “Grab the chair, the red one. Gives it some color.”

I grab the chair as I play at being offended. “Hey!”

Behind me I hear him laugh. “You know I mean well.”

“I know you do.” I put the chair in front of the camera and sit down on it. “What do you want me to do?”

“Just… be yourself.” Photographers and their helpful guidance… He smiles as he starts shooting, constantly fiddling with things and checking the laptop next to him.

“Myself. And what is that like?” Being myself, I tease him, try to get him to react, but the question starts nagging at me. When am I ever really myself? When do I not put up a front? When is there ever a time—

“Whoa! Like that!” Damon’s voice breaks through the daze.

Hunter stands in the doorway, his helmet in one hand and his jacket in the other. He is looking our way, and his eyes are intense. His muscles tense, moving the tight-fitting shirt and making my stomach flutter.

I swallow hard. My world has just been narrowed to this, to us. That is when I don’t have to put up a front. When Hunter is around.

Hunter’s eyes flit to Damon, a flash of something going through his eyes. Anger? Jealousy? But when they return to mine, there is pain. Pain, and then the shutters come down. Distance. Because, of course, now he knows about my illness…

My breath stutters and I rip my eyes away from him. Suddenly acutely aware of the lights, of the camera, of Damon. “I’m sorry.” I stand up, my voice rough, and flee outside, into the open. I need air, space.

“Lizzy.” Tamara comes over to me, a smile on her lips that soon falters when she sees me. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just… a bit overwhelmed.” How else can I describe what just happened?

“Are you okay? I was worried.”

“I’m okay. I think I may just have caught something over the weekend. I’m good now.” Physically, that is. Emotionally is a whole different thing.

“Did Hunter drop by? He suddenly left yesterday.” Her voice is careful, and I’m not surprised.

“You told him, didn’t you?” She’s the only one who could have told him. The only other person who knows.

“I told him what?”

“About my illness.” Is there no one who can keep their mouth shut? I twist around, stomping back inside.

“Lizzy, please. I didn’t.” Tamara follows me.

Like I can believe her. How else would Hunter know? I grab my things and storm out past her.

“Lizzy…” She calls for me, but I keep walking. I can stay at the library until class starts. A class where Hunter will also be…
Great.
I keep walking. There has to be somewhere that I can just be me. Where I don’t need to worry about other people. But right now it seems like everyone keeps hovering over me, and I can’t escape it, no matter how much I want to.