Hunter's Fall (44 page)
Authors: Shiloh Walker
Tags: #Romance, #Contemporary, #General, #Paranormal, #Fiction
She twisted away, moving closer to the door. She needed to get away from him, before she shattered. Before she gave in. Before she begged.
“Why not?”
She lifted her hands and said, “I killed a man, Dominic. I killed a man, and instead of just letting him die, I fed from the power inside his blood.
Blood
magic, Dominic. Dark magic. It’s inside me now, like a drug, and it will want more.”
Blood
magic, Dominic. Dark magic. It’s inside me now, like a drug, and it will want more.”
“So the fuck what?”
She blinked, shaking her head. “Don’t you get it? I’m damaged now . . . I’ll fight this for the rest of my life, and there’s no guarantee I’ll win.”
“No, there’s not. I don’t know that much about it, but it sounds a lot like an addiction, and damn, that’s got to be one serious kick to have you addicted after using it just once. Must be like a witch’s heroin or something.”
“Worse.” She hugged herself, rubbing her palms up and down her arms. Cold to the bone. Cold . . . tired. So tired.
“So it’s an addiction and your way of dealing with it is to . . . what? Are you going to hide yourself away now? Lock yourself up, apart from everybody else? Or is it just me you won’t be around?”
Narrowing her eyes, she snapped, “There is no need to be flippant. Dominic, perhaps you don’t understand how this affects witches, but
I
do. It’s addictive and it’s dangerous.”
I
do. It’s addictive and it’s dangerous.”
“Maybe I don’t get it.” He shrugged and leaned his shoulders back against the wall. The T-shirt he wore stretched across his muscles and she wanted to stroke her hands down them, learn every last one.
Mouth dry, she looked away, concentrating on the shelves along the back wall. Odd—they didn’t seem to be the exact same shade as they’d been when she was last here. And she was certain the books weren’t in the right order.
He moved closer, and she started to count the books. Count them, focus on them and not him and oh, he was just a breath away now. Closer. His hand fisted in her hair and he whispered, “I guess I don’t get it, baby. Because all I can figure out is that you’ve got an addiction. But that doesn’t mean it has to control you—doesn’t mean it has to end your life.”
“That’s the whole
point
—it will want to control me and . . . well, it’s just that . . . ” Frustrated, she shot him a dark look and said, “You shouldn’t have to carry this burden. It’s mine. I made the mistake, I’ll deal with it.”
point
—it will want to control me and . . . well, it’s just that . . . ” Frustrated, she shot him a dark look and said, “You shouldn’t have to carry this burden. It’s mine. I made the mistake, I’ll deal with it.”
“So much for giving me a choice,” he said, that heavy, bitter irony coloring his voice again. “You’ve got a problem, and instead of trusting me to do what I think is best for
me
, and to take part in making the decision of what is best for
us
, you’re doing it, all on your own. I have no say in the matter. Is that how you give me a choice?”
me
, and to take part in making the decision of what is best for
us
, you’re doing it, all on your own. I have no say in the matter. Is that how you give me a choice?”
She winced. “It’s not that simple . . . ”
“Yeah. It is.” He cupped her chin and angled her face up.
Dark, furious eyes stared into hers and he snapped, “That’s exactly what it is. You think I came after you because something
made
me . . . well, you’re right . . . in a way. My heart made me. I listened to my heart, listened to everything inside me that demanded I find you. So that’s what I did, because I knew, in
here
”—he slammed a fist against his chest—“ I knew in
here
that the only way I’d ever be complete in my life was if I found the woman I’d loved in my last life. I didn’t get to live it out with you then, and I should have. But now here’s the chance to have that, and you won’t let it happen? How in the hell is that giving me any choice at all?”
made
me . . . well, you’re right . . . in a way. My heart made me. I listened to my heart, listened to everything inside me that demanded I find you. So that’s what I did, because I knew, in
here
”—he slammed a fist against his chest—“ I knew in
here
that the only way I’d ever be complete in my life was if I found the woman I’d loved in my last life. I didn’t get to live it out with you then, and I should have. But now here’s the chance to have that, and you won’t let it happen? How in the hell is that giving me any choice at all?”
“You . . . ” She licked her lips and shook her head. “I’m not that woman—the woman you knew then was nothing but a girl, a girl who still had hope, who still had dreams. I’m not
her
. . . and you said it yourself, you’re not him, either. You don’t know me well enough to know if you love me.”
her
. . . and you said it yourself, you’re not him, either. You don’t know me well enough to know if you love me.”
For one long moment, he was quiet. Then he let her go and moved away, no longer looking at her. “I’m going to ask you a question—you answer it, yes or no.
Just
yes or no. If you tell me no, and do it honestly, make me believe your answer, then fine, I’ll get the hell out. But you have to make me believe it.” Then he looked at her. “Do you love me?”
Just
yes or no. If you tell me no, and do it honestly, make me believe your answer, then fine, I’ll get the hell out. But you have to make me believe it.” Then he looked at her. “Do you love me?”
Pain tore through her. Did she love him?
She whispered, “Yes. You already know the answer to that, damn you.”
“Look at me and say it.”
She didn’t.
He closed the distance between them, and when she would have backed away, he caught her around the waist, hauling her against him. “Do it.”
She planted her hands against his shoulders and shoved. She was strong. Witches did tend to be a bit stronger physically than mortals and she was no exception.
But he was a vampire, and by sheer physical strength alone, she couldn’t move him. Glaring at him, she said, “Yes, damn it, I love you.”
“But how can you? You don’t know me.”
Her heart trembled . . . cracked. Shattered. “But I do know you.” She laid a hand against his cheek. “I look at you and I see everything you are, I feel every pain you’ve felt and I feel your loneliness. Then I look at myself, and all I see is a woman who is too weak, one who broke and gave in to the nastiest sort of evil.
I
don’t deserve you, damn it. Maybe I would have . . . once. But I broke. I gave in and now, any strength I might have had is gone, whatever decency was inside me, I killed. That’s what this is all about.”
I
don’t deserve you, damn it. Maybe I would have . . . once. But I broke. I gave in and now, any strength I might have had is gone, whatever decency was inside me, I killed. That’s what this is all about.”
He sighed and pressed his lips to her brow. The crushing grip he held her with gentled and he began to stroke his hands up and down her back, slow, soft caresses. “If you aren’t strong, then nobody is,” he said quietly. He kissed her eyes, the tip of her nose, each cheek. “If you aren’t decent, then nobody is. You didn’t
kill
anything but a bastard who wanted to hurt you.”
kill
anything but a bastard who wanted to hurt you.”
She opened her mouth and he laid a finger across her lips, silencing her. “I don’t want to hear it. Did you screw up? I’ve gotta say yes, but it’s not like
you
were in complete control—you were off in the land of fuck-it-all, remember? And hell, after five hundred years, didn’t you deserve some sort of peace?” He didn’t wait for her to answer, just kissed her again, soft and slow, before lifting his head to look at her. “It was a mistake, a bad one . . . but how can
one
bad mistake undo everything you are? It can’t . . . not unless you let it.”
you
were in complete control—you were off in the land of fuck-it-all, remember? And hell, after five hundred years, didn’t you deserve some sort of peace?” He didn’t wait for her to answer, just kissed her again, soft and slow, before lifting his head to look at her. “It was a mistake, a bad one . . . but how can
one
bad mistake undo everything you are? It can’t . . . not unless you let it.”
It was a mistake, a bad one . . . but how can one bad mistake undo everything you are? It can’t . . . not unless you let it.
Pressing her lips together, she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face against him. A sob shook her and she couldn’t hold it back. That simple—could it really be that simple?
But what . . . what if he decided he didn’t want her later on? What if he realized he didn’t really love her?
“And when in hell did I ever become a coward?” she muttered.
“A coward.” He lifted his head, studying her face. “So now you’re a coward, on top of being evil and weak?” Dominic laughed.
“I don’t see the humor here, you know.”
He grinned and said, “Baby, if you had any idea how ridiculous some of this sounds . . .
“It’s not ridiculous.”
He dipped his head and nipped her lower lip. “Well, yeah, some of it is. Really. After all, aren’t you the strongest witch the Hunters have ever had? Strong enough that you could make it so I could walk naked down the beach at noon and not get a burn?” He touched the red marks on his cheeks and grimaced. “And I’ve got to say, I’d like to arrange that if we could. Here you are, the legendary witch that all good little Hunters hear so much about. You lived through more mortal lifetimes than I could count and even when your body tried to die on you, your soul found another way to live on. Then, even though you’re tired and lonely and just want to be done, you keep on going. That’s strength. You faced a lifetime alone . . . and that’s bravery. And here you are, trying to push me away, even though you’ll be miserable after, because you don’t want to . . . how did you put it? Burden me?”
He slipped his hands under the hem of her shirt, and her heart stuttered at the feel of them on her flesh, strong and gentle and . . . He swatted her rump and when she glared at him, he said, “You’d make yourself miserable to keep from burdening me. And although your logic is a little flawed, since you’d also make
me
miserable, that’s not the choice somebody evil would make. Evil wants what it wants . . . it doesn’t give a damn who suffers for it.”
me
miserable, that’s not the choice somebody evil would make. Evil wants what it wants . . . it doesn’t give a damn who suffers for it.”
That simple . . .
Licking her lips, she shrugged and said, “Well, there might be a bit of humor in it.” Then she sighed. Peering at his face, she lifted a hand and brushed it over his reddened face. She couldn’t take seeing those marks on him. Not for another second. “You fool vampire, chasing me down even though the sun is trying to burn you to a crisp.”
“You fool witch, running away from me.”
As the healing magic raced across his injured skin, he closed his eyes. When she was done, he carried her to the nearby chair and sat down, keeping her on his lap. “I came here a few weeks ago, convinced I was losing my mind. When I walked by this cabin, I knew . . . I felt you, smelled you. And I almost went insane trying to figure out what was going on. All I could think of was you. You haunt me. In my sleep. In the night, when I’m supposed to be focused on the hunt, I think of you instead. Don’t tell me that I don’t love you, and don’t tell me I have no choice. Maybe I don’t have all that much choice, but I have what I
want
. . . you.”
want
. . . you.”
He cupped her cheek in his hand and rubbed his thumb over her lower lip. “If you’re scared, I can understand that. Whatever this blood magic is going to do, or try to do, I’d probably be scared, too. But being
alone
isn’t going to help you any, and walking away from me because of guilt won’t help either. And for all your talk of choices, you’re trying to take mine. You’re deciding for both of us.”
alone
isn’t going to help you any, and walking away from me because of guilt won’t help either. And for all your talk of choices, you’re trying to take mine. You’re deciding for both of us.”
She swallowed.
The look in his eyes, it shook her to the core. The need, the love she had for him swamped her. The lonely ache of her heart screamed out for him—everything inside her screamed out for him.
Could she really walk away?
Yes. She could.
And she’d hate herself forever. For hurting herself—
and
for hurting him.
and
for hurting him.
Blowing out a rough breath, she said, “Perhaps I am. I’m . . . oh, I’m such a mess. You do realize that, Dominic?”
“Figured that out.” He kissed her neck.
She felt the lightest brush of his fangs and shivered. “A mess,” she whispered again. Then she made herself look at him. “But it’s more than just me. There’s Jazzy, too. Right now, until I know I can control this, I shouldn’t be near her. If I can control this, though . . . well . . . in an odd way, I’m the only family she has, even if I’m not exactly related to her. I’ve got a responsibility to that girl now. It’s not just one messed-up witch you may be taking on, but two.”
“I’ve got a thing for messed-up blondes; I ever tell you that?” His gaze caught hers, held it. “You’ll get a hold on this . . . addiction, whatever. I know you will. And you’ll find a way to make things works with Jazzy. I know that, too. Something else I know . . . you’d be more of a mess if you decided you really needed to walk. And so would I. You know what? I think after five centuries, the two of us really do deserve a break.” He laid his hand over her heart and caught hers, brought it to his chest. “We deserve this . . . We deserve a chance to be happy.”
He leaned in and kissed her gently. “I came back for you . . . only for you. You are my entire reason for existing, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t have
you
any other way. I don’t care if you think you’re broken, flawed, evil as Satan himself. I know what I want . . . what I see when I look at you. I see the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, and if it’s any shorter than five centuries, I’m going to feel very short-changed.”
you
any other way. I don’t care if you think you’re broken, flawed, evil as Satan himself. I know what I want . . . what I see when I look at you. I see the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, and if it’s any shorter than five centuries, I’m going to feel very short-changed.”
Her heart skipped.
Tears blurred her eyes.
A giggle bubbled out of her. “Five centuries . . . you sure about that? It’s rather a long time.”
“With you, it will pass in a heartbeat . . . if you give us half a chance.”
She blinked away the tears and stared at him, stared into those dark brown eyes. Everything else, it was so different . . . physically. But his eyes . . . they were the same. Warm and full of love and life and humor. Leaning in, she pressed her lips to his. “I suppose after five centuries we’re entitled to that half a chance. And then some.”
Turn the page for a preview of
DEPARTED
BY SHILOH WALKER
Coming soon from Berkley Sensation!
CHAPTER 1“
F
UCKING crazy,” one of the techs muttered, watching as Dez Lincoln stood in the middle of a desolate Iowa field with a smile on her face.
F
UCKING crazy,” one of the techs muttered, watching as Dez Lincoln stood in the middle of a desolate Iowa field with a smile on her face.
She was a beautiful woman—her black hair cut short, no more than an inch long, currently spiked up. Her skin was a light, smooth brown and her eyes were dark, so dark they almost appeared black, set under feathery, arched brows. Her body was all curves and long limbs, round hips, and a chest that was undeniably
female
. But there was no mistaking the strength—there was well-toned muscle to go along with those curves.
female
. But there was no mistaking the strength—there was well-toned muscle to go along with those curves.
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