Husband Hunting 101 (4 page)

The handsome, young man sitting behind her leaned forward and whispered. "You should have said Jenna the Jewel."

Heat climbed her neck as she glanced over her shoulder to see a dark-haired man smiling at her. "Charming Charlie at your service," he said glibly.

Jenna smiled tightly, then followed Heloise's gaze as she pointed to another man in the back. "I suppose you could call me Wise William," he said.

Not half-bad, Jenna decided. His articulate, precise way of pronouncing each word made him sound intelligent. Maybe he was a professor or scientist. Out of all the men in the class, he seemed to be the only real possibility for a date. He was attractive, at least in a mild kind of way. Nothing earth-shattering like Zachary West, but well... this man obviously wanted a relationship. If he didn't, he wouldn't be taking the class.

He gave her a pleasant smile. Jenna returned the look, forcing herself to make eye contact as he settled back in his chair.

The mother and daughter pair took their turn. "I'm Wanda Butterworth," the older woman said. "You can call me Wild-Woman Wanda. I like my men wild and warm and devoted to one woman."

The younger girl spit her gum into the palm of her hand. "You can call me Tired Tina. Tired of guys who can't keep up with me."

Tina's comment brought a series of raised eyebrows and hushed murmurings.

Heloise settled on top of the desk and kicked off her heels. Her long black gauzy dress floated around her and fell in a puddle on the desktop. "Now, I'm assuming you're all here because you want to find a permanent, long-lasting relationship with somebody—hopefully, your fated mate. That's hard to do sometimes, especially in a big city like Atlanta."

Heloise wrote the word
commitment
on the blackboard in huge capital letters. "The first thing you need to do is think commitment. When you meet someone, keep that in mind. If the person you're attracted to is a pronounced bachelor, singles lady, or has an aversion to commitment, cross them off your list and move on."

Several people nodded their agreement as Heloise wrote the words on the board:

AVOID COMMITMENTAPHOBICS—DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME ON THEM!

"First, I want each of you to make a list of the characteristics you think are important in a spouse."

The sound of notebooks opening and laptops booting up filled the room.

"Excuse me?" Needy Naomi raised a purple finger- nailed hand. "How do you spell 'voyeurism'?"

Charming Charlie took great pride in spelling the word. Serious Sue's face turned twenty shades of red and Practical Paula broke into a coughing fit.

Tired Tina glanced up from her Ipad and looked anxiously around the class. "Are we going to have to show these to everybody?"

A sparkle of understanding tinged Heloise's eyes. "No," Heloise said, "we don't have to share. Not unless you want to. Now, once you've finished writing the characteristics that appeal to you, make a list of places you might meet people. When you're finished, we'll discuss it."

Everyone got busy. Jenna stared at the empty white paper and chewed her eraser, wondering what characteristic would top Tired Tina and Needy Naomi's list.
Man must be able to perform sexually, non-stop, for twenty-four hours.

Charming Charlie tapped her shoulder. "Hey, Red. Want to go for a drink after class?"

Jenna shook her head. "I can't. I have to work later." It was a lie, but Charming Charlie didn't fit her requirements.

Then she jotted, "My Fated Mate." Seconds later, she silently read her list.

* Most important: Wants to make love twenty-four hours a day

Sighing at her own joke, she circled the first line, then continued in a more serious tone.

1. Wants to get married

2. Loves children

3. Friendly and loving

4. Ambitious, hard worker

5. Handsome

Then she wrote down her list of places to meet men.

1. Work

2. Church

3. Bars—no way

4. ?

She was stumped. Her life consisted of work, her friends, church, and the association for small business owners she belonged to. While she contemplated other places that might be socially acceptable to meet a future husband, she flipped her notebook back and stared at the page she'd been scribbling on before.

Whatever had possessed her? She'd written Zachary West's name all over the page just like a teenager. Remembering Heloise's comment about crossing the commitment-shy people off her list, she immediately drew a big X over Zack's name.

All fifty-three of them.

* * *

Zack couldn't get Jenna Barrett out of his mind.

He slowed his pace slightly, allowing his brother to catch up with him as they jogged their usual course. It was later than usual and the path seemed empty, a rare occurrence for the busy park, especially on a Saturday, but Zack was grateful for the quiet. He inhaled the scent of freshly cut grass as they passed the pond where a group of baby ducks waddled close to the water's edge. The hazy beginning of sunset painted the sky in orange and yellow, the cooler evening air exhilarating.

"I'm surprised you made it away from your bride long enough for a jog," Zack said wryly.

"She knows I like to run," Mark said. "Besides, getting married doesn't mean sacrificing your life. It means you
share
it with someone."

Zack sighed. "Great. You not only gave up bachelorhood, but now you're going to spout off that drivel about how great the ball and chain routine is."

Mark shook his head. "You're hopeless, you know that."

Zack punched his brother's arm. "Maybe. But I'm single and happy. And, I'm staying that way."

"I happen to like being married," Mark said dryly, easing up beside him. "It was my own free choice, bro. Colleen didn't exactly handcuff me and drag me to the altar."

"Really?" Zack arched an eyebrow, ducking to avoid a low branch as they slipped down a path through the woods.

"Yes, really," Mark scoffed.

"She didn't use hypnosis or drugs?"

"Very funny," Mark said sarcastically. "It wasn't just for great sex either. Of course, now those handcuffs—"

Zack groaned. "Don't make me sick with that nonsense about how great sex is with one partner and how nice it is to wake up to the same woman day after day. I'm not buying it."

Mark chuckled, his breathing even as he hurtled over a rock. "Okay, but one day when you're old and alone—"

"Who says I'll be alone?" Zack asked in a shocked tone.

Mark raised his hands in surrender. "All right. You're a stud for life." He grabbed his stomach and made a face. "And now we're changing the subject before I barf from your cynicism. Are you going to do the ad for Jenna's store?"

"I guess so." Zack shot Mark a sideways glance. "I told her I'd make some sketches and see what she thinks."

"Listen, bro, I recommended you because I knew you needed the business." Mark pumped his arms vigorously. "But, you'd better not blow it. Remember, Jenna's a nice girl."

"So you keep telling me." Zack's jaw snapped tight. "Tell me why you're so protective of her, Mark. You just married someone
else."

Anger flashed into Mark's eyes. "I know
that,
and it's nothing personal, at least not the way you're thinking. But I know you, bro—you like women, and Jenna seems sort of... innocent."

"Innocent?" Zack sighed, increasing his pace as the last bit of sunlight slid behind a dark cloud. "The lady sells naughty lingerie and you think she's
innocent."

Mark glared at him, then wiped his forehead with a handkerchief. "I didn't mean she was totally innocent. But she's nice and sincere, a hard worker, not your typical party animal, one-night-stand girl."

"So, you're saying the only kind of girls I date are wild with no morals?"

Mark shrugged, slowing and bending over with his hands on his knees in order to catch his breath. "What's wrong with you today? You're not usually such a grouch."

"I just don't like your insinuations," Zack said snapped.

"Well, you don't have to get so touchy—it's just there are plenty of girls out there you can have a fling with. You don't need to mess with Jenna."

Zack paused, jogging in place. Two cute girls wearing skin-tight running shorts and sports bras ran past and gave him a flirtatious smile, but he barely acknowledged them as he considered Mark's comment. He had no idea why his brother's warnings about Jenna irked him so much, but they did. "What makes you think I'm such a bad guy, Mark?"

"I don't." Mark shook his head. "But I know your attitude toward marriage, and I've been working on Jenna's accounts long enough to know she's not your type. Besides, Colleen likes her and wants to fix her up with one of her friends."

"So, tell her to fix her up," Zack snarled. "I certainly won't stand in the way. I'm simply doing business with her." He picked up his pace, speeding ahead of Mark and following after the two women in spandex, wondering to himself why he'd gotten so defensive over a woman he barely knew.

Let Jenna marry one of Colleen's boring friends or some bozo in her husband hunting class. What did he care?

He didn't need or want a woman complicating his life, especially one hell-bent on
marriage.

* * *

Assignment one—accept a date with someone new
.

Jenna groaned. She'd definitely made a mistake in accepting a date with the first guy who called from her class. If her evening was any indication of how her husband hunting was going to be, she was doomed.

"William, I think I need to sit down," Jenna said.

William Foster was a nice man—sort of.

She'd definitely made a snap judgment when she'd met him in class though. Serious and intelligent had been her first thoughts. Her opinion had drastically changed in the last hour.

Instead of Wise William, he should have called himself Weird William.

"Oh, let's go a couple more rounds, baby," William crooned into her ear.

He propelled her around and around on the dance floor until Jenna felt dizzy. She'd never gotten motion sick from dancing before, but the only thing William knew how to do was turn.

Turn and turn and turn.

Ouch. She bit back a retort for the umpteenth time as he stomped on her toe and continued dancing. The man had no sense of balance and personal space. He'd been invading hers all night.

Ouch, again. Jenna squeezed William's sweaty palm and tried not to inhale the odor of his aftershave as he twirled her in a series of spins, caught her, and swung her under his arm. Normally, she liked men's cologne, but William's... it smelled rancid, like wine that had fermented too long.

Ouch, ouch, ouch.

"I have to sit down," Jenna said again, panting for a breath. She could already feel her feet swelling inside her black heels. If she didn't take them off soon, she'd have to peel them off.

Thank goodness she'd adjusted the volume on her hearing aid and had drowned out some of the loud music—and William's snorting laugh.

"Are you sure you want to sit? They're starting a Beatles medley," William said. "Maybe they'll play a romantic slow song."

Oh, God no.

"I'm sure." The thought of being pressed up against William during a slow melody was not a pleasant thought. His bony ribs had already poked her through his sweaty shirt.

Jenna led the way back to the table. "I'm out of shape."

He wiggled his eyebrows. "You look like you're in great shape to me."

Jenna ignored the glint in his dark-gray eyes and contemplated ordering a pitcher of ice water. She was strongly considering dumping it on William's head.

Or in his lap.

"I can't remember when I've had so much fun." William took a sip of his fuzzy navel.

Jenna's stomach knotted as she studied his long, narrow face. His high cheekbones made his face look gaunt and his long nose and pointed chin reminded her of a woodpecker. At first she'd thought him fairly attractive, but upon closer inspection, she decided his children would come out either looking like a scarecrow or The Roadrunner.

"Did you enjoy your dinner?" William asked.

"Yes." She glanced at William's plate. Spotless. It looked as if he'd licked it clean. Maybe he had when she'd gone to the ladies' room. "Looks like you did, too."

"I always like pasta. It's meat I can't handle." He wrinkled his nose. "Especially fowl."