Hustle Me (31 page)

I ran into several players that I had met while living with Joker. Most of them recognized me and welcomed the chance to let me play with them. Now, when playing someone that you knew was a pro, it was hard to not be nervous. I wasn’t used to playing the players that were true talent. The people I hustled just thought they were good.
 

An older player that I didn’t know recognized my mother. He sat down at a corner table and talked to her for hours while I played. My new stick was alright, but it didn’t compare to my old one. Joker had made my stick and everything about it was one of a kind. It stroked like no other stick I had ever used and had a tiny shaft that my fingers were used to holding.
 

One night after playing for a few hours, my mother retired to our motel room. I stuck around with the guys and lost a bet to treat them all to the local strip club. Because I was the youngest, I became the guinea pig to all the young dancers and their lap dances.
 

The more I drank the more I pictured them being Charlie. One brunette chick with a rocking body kept swaying her hips in my direction. Touching the chicks was usually a way to get kicked
out of a place, but this chick was rubbing her naked tits all over my face. She took my beer and slowly dumped it over her breast then pressed it against my mouth.
 

I wish I could lie and say that it didn’t turn me on. It wasn’t like I was cheating on Charlie. She’d made it clear that we were over.
 

I met the girl in the back hallway near the men’s room. She was still walking around in just a tiny thong, so everywhere my hands touched her was naked skin. Her tits were nice, but they weren’t Charlie’s. I was actually getting pissed at myself for thinking about her when I had the chance to get laid. I was getting ready to play the biggest match of my life and needed the stress relief.
 

I pressed my lips against the girls and felt her tongue slipping into my spread open mouth. Her kisses were sloppy, but in a sexy way. She knew what she was doing as she slid her hand down the front of my jeans while continuing to mingle our tongues together. I lifted her up against the wall and felt her legs wrapping around my waist. I didn’t know her name, but I didn’t want to either. I just wanted to get my dick wet and forget about how much
I’d fucked up the relationship with the only person I had ever loved.
 

Suddenly, as the chick had my rock hard cock in her hand, I let her body slip back down to the floor and I pulled away from her. She backed against the wall seemingly confused and licked her lips.
 

For the second time in my life, Charlie had stopped me from being with someone who was ready and willing. Her beautiful body flooded my mind. The way her voice got when she became mad. The way her kisses made me crazy. She was all I could think about.
 

The girl reached her arms out for me, but I backed away more.  I put my hands into air. “Sorry, I can’t do this.”
 

I walked away from her and went right into the bathroom. I heard the door swing behind me as I leaned my arms against the base of the sink. The naked girl hopped up on the sink and leaned against the mirror. “So who is she?”
 

I shook my head and looked at her face instead of her perky breasts. “She’s someone that doesn’t want me anymore.”
 

She laughed and shook her head. “I find that hard to believe.”
 

“Yeah, well I am pretty good at fucking things up.”
 

She leaned over and put her arm on my shoulder. “Most guys would have fucked me and just never told anyone what happened. It takes a real love for a man to stop a free lay. If I were you, I wouldn’t give up on her. I think if she knew you felt that strong about her, she would want you back. So, did you cheat or something?”
 

I shook my head. “No, not that I didn’t have opportunities. I couldn’t do that to her. She’s all I think about. Yeah, I lied to her about things that were important. I won’t bore you with the details, because I can assure you that after the first couple hours you would get sick of hearing it.”
 

“I feel so bad for you. If it’s any consolation, I think she’s a fool for letting you go.” I appreciated her being nice to me, but I’d done this to myself.
 

“Thanks, listen I need to get out of here. Is there a back door I can use?” I was feeling tipsy and just wanted to avoid the other pool players that I’d come with.
 

She led me to the back door that the employees used. After slipping me her number in case I wanted to “talk” again, I started walking toward the motel. When I got to a bench that was facing the beach, I sprawled my body on it and breathed in the cool salty air.
 

I shouldn’t have done it, but I reached my phone out of my pocket and listened to the saved message from Charlie. It broke my heart every time I heard it. I knew I’d had too much to drink, but it hadn’t stopped me from doing it. I pressed call on the screen and heard the phone ringing in my ear. Sure, this was going to cost me, but I just had to hear her voice.
 

“This better be good, Jammer, it’s three in the morning.”
 

Chapter 35
 

Charlie
 

“Jammer, did you hear me?” I was wondering if this was just a butt dial.
 

“I’m a liar.” From just those three words I could tell he was slurring.
 

“Are you seriously calling me at three in the morning to tell me something I already know? Get a fucking life and leave me alone!” I hung up the phone and rolled over, feeling so immediately pissed that I knew I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep.
 

My phone started ringing again. I don’t know why I answered it, but I did. “What do you want now?”
 

“Charlie, I lied to you.” This was getting old.
 

“You’re drunk Jammer. You aren’t even going to remember calling me. Just go to sleep and stop calling me.” I hung up the phone and got up to go to the bathroom.
 

While I was relieving myself, the phone started to ring again. After four rings the voicemail had picked up. I figured he
would realize I wasn’t going to answer and stop calling, but it rang once again. “What?”
 

“I feel like I can’t breathe.”
 

“Call a doctor.”
 

“Charlie, I’m nothing without you.”
 

“If you think I am going to fall for your bullshit lies you have another thing coming.” Drunk or not, this was not cool with me. He’d hurt me worse than anything in my adult life. I just wanted the pain to go away. Him calling was a reminder of what was never going to be.
 

“Listen to me. I lied to you, Charlie.”
 

“Yeah, I get it. Are you looking for me to accept this crappy apology? Jammer, you’re shitface drunk. Please leave me alone. You walked away from us. You told me you never wanted us that way. I can’t hear your voice and not hate you for what you did. You hurt me.”
 

I swear it sounded like he started to cry. “Please just listen to me. I hurt myself.  I made a mistake. Charlie, I can’t even fuck another girl anymore. Why did you do this to me?”
 

If steam could have shot out of my ears, it would have been. “Don’t fucking call me again.” I hung up the phone and took the battery out.
 

Oh my God, had he really just talked about being with someone else. I wanted to scream and cry and throw up all at once. For three weeks I had wanted nothing more than to hear his voice and when I did he was drunk and mentioning being with someone else.
 

It took me two hours to finally cry myself to sleep.  When I woke up I found my brother sitting on the bed beside me trying to put the battery back in my phone.
 

I grabbed it out of his hand reassembled it. “Good morning, Ry.”
 

“What happened to your phone, Charlie?”
 

It would be easier to tell him that flying bats dressed as clowns swooped down from the ceiling and took it, than tell him who really had called. “It kept ringing and waking me up, so I took out the battery.”
 

“Who was it?”
 

I knew why he wanted to know. Yet another reason that he was too smart for his own good. “I don’t even know. Someone that thought they were talking to someone who cared. It was some drunk guy.”
 

He looked down at the blanket and started playing with the corner of the fabric. “I wish Jammer would call. He said he’d teach me pool and then he just left.”
 

I hated that my brother was just as sad about Jammer leaving. I felt like punching him in the face if I ever saw him again.
 

Since Jammer had been gone, the new bartender was learning all the ins and outs of the tavern. His name was Christopher and he was very handsome. I think he must have been born from Zeus because his body was chiseled so much that he walked funny from the bulkiness of his muscles. Chris had bartended for a few local places and just wanted a change. My slow business wasn’t exactly a fun place to work. Aside from Shaun working days. It got pretty boring. Sure, we had karaoke night and the weekends had picked up significantly, but it wasn’t like it was the happening place to be.
 

Even with his large muscles and baby face, he was kind of a klutz and seemed like whatever steroids he was on had all gone to his head. I don’t remember ever having to replace so many glasses and bottles that had been broken while he was working.
 

Elle and Zach were still hot and heavy and came down almost every weekend to stay with me and Ryan. I think my place became their little weekend getaway. I didn’t mind the company and Ryan really enjoyed Zach’s company.
 

On weekends, Chris didn’t come in until night shift, so I managed the bar from open until dinner shift. On this particular day, Elle and Zach arrived around ten in the morning and had taken Ryan to some circus that was in town. I was allergic to something at the circus and couldn’t go without having a sneezing fit, so they volunteered. It was funny seeing them so serious about each other, being that neither of them had ever been that way before. Zach was lucky that his life had turned out so nice. I was happy for him, even as I continued to struggle day to day. At least my brother and I had a roof over our head and an income coming in. I wasn’t the best at running a business, but I was getting the hang of it.
 

The bar was so quiet after the lunch rush that I found myself cleaning out shelves and cabinets under the register to pass the time. I hadn’t cleaned them since I took over the place and knew they were full of junk. I usually didn’t watch television while I worked, but I turned on the television across from the bar for background noise.
 

Much to my surprise, Jammer had set the darn thing to record every single billiards competition that was televised. I tried to change the channel but got some warning message that frustrated me enough to toss the remote down and leave it on. I wasn’t planning on watching television anyway.
 

The first cabinet I cleaned out was literally full of old shit. There were coasters in there that were older than me. A bunch of paid receipts and even some vendor work orders for repairs. I put them all in a box to carry to the attic. The next cabinet at first seemed a lot like the one before it. A bunch of paperwork was shoved inside, but behind it was a jar. The jar was full of folded up pieces of paper and chips. I opened the large pickle jar and pulled one of the chips out. They said they were sobriety chips. Realizing
they were my fathers, I reached in and grabbed one of the folded up pieces of paper.
 

Dear Charlie:
 

Today I earned my one year sobriety chip. You are the reason that keeps me going strong. One day I will find you and be able to tell you in person how much you mean to me. I think about you every single day and regret the decisions that took you away from me. I know you will never read this note, but it’s part of my recovery.
 

Daddy loves you.
 

I stared at the little piece of paper and traced his words, before pulling out another one to read.
 

Dear Charlie:
 

This is the first part of my sobriety program. They say it’s good to express my feelings. I lost you because of my drinking. I hope you are safe and being taken care of. I miss you every second of the day. I miss your pretty curly hair and the sweet smile that would be looking at me when I woke every morning. You will always be my sunshine.
 

Love Daddy
 

Tears were rolling down my face as I felt my first real connection to my biological father. His love was flowing through his words and overwhelming me. I grabbed a third note and then a fourth. Each one was address to me and all of them explained how much he loved me. I held all of the notes in my hands and brought them to my chest, while continuing to cry.
 

Since I knew that a customer could come in at any second, I gathered the letters and put them back in the jar and closed it up. I was still sniffling when I got to the third cabinet. A shoebox that was closed was sitting right in front. I opened it up and saw a bunch of pictures that included some of Jammer. I held the pictures in my hands and looked at the father that I never knew and the man that I gave my heart to that had broken me.
 

Without much thought, I grabbed all of the items and threw them in the large box. I locked the front door and put a ‘be back in ten’ note on the door, before heading up to put the items in the attic.