Hybrid (10 page)
She reached up behind his head and undid the clasp that held his long hair in place. She gently let it fall over his shoulders. She undid the buckles of his double holster and slid it down his arms and around his torso. She held up the heavy weapons package of two guns and four clips, and tossed it onto his couch. “That's not you.”
Shanda knelt down and lifted the right leg of his jeans and reached inside his faded Frye Cowboy boot, pulling out a leather sheath, which contained two throwing knives, which she knew he kept there. “This isn't you either,” she added. “Nor is this,” she continued as she tugged the 45th battalion combat ring from his finger. “There.” She smiled. “Now you don't have a costume on either.”
“What's all this for?” Erik asked.
“I wanted you to see the real me, and I figured if I was going to do that, I deserved to see the real you, not the costume you put on for the rest of the world.” She twirled around in front of him like a ballerina. “Well, what do you think?”
Erik had always known that Shanda was beautiful, but dressed as she was now, no fancy make-up and no costume jewelry, he could really see and appreciate her for the first time. Even the times that they had dated, she always wore her punk attire.
“Do you know what I see when I look at you?” she asked. “I don't see the fearsome gun-toting PI that you want everybody to see; I see a person who's in pain, so much pain that he's hiding from the rest of the world, afraid to let who he really is show through, so afraid of getting hurt again. I see fear, Erik. I sense a fear of just letting go and enjoying life again. Why are you still punishing yourself for something that happened over seven years ago? She's moved on with her life. It's okay for you to do the same.”
Erik shook his head strongly in disagreement. “No, you're wrong. I'm not afraid of anything, and I like my life the way it is—simple and uncomplicated.”
“Bullshit!” she snapped. “That's a bunch of macho crap and you know it. You're afraid of being hurt; you're afraid of me. I'm telepathic, Erik. I can sense your fear. You're afraid of the feelings that you have for me, afraid that I'll hurt you like Margaret hurt you, but you're wrong. I'm not like Margaret. I like the man inside the costume. I like the man standing before me. I've always seen through your costume, Erik; I see you as you are right now. You tried to tell me earlier, in my office; why did you stop?”
Erik could feel that Shanda was being sincere. He, too, had unusual gifts, though he hid his capability. He felt her warmth and affection for him and he knew he was holding back his true feelings for her.
She reached out her hand toward him. “Touch me, Erik; let me know how you feel. You don't have to hide it anymore. Stop fighting it and share it with me. Show me how you feel. It's okay to like me.” She touched his hand.” Shanda relaxed her mental guard. “I'll go first.”
* * * *
She guided him through happy memories of her mother and father, family and friends. He shared her joy at her first puppy, her sorrow at the death of her grandmother. She shared various strong, happy images of her life, and then the not so happy ones.
She relived the tragic death of her father in an automobile accident and how it hurt her to see her mother in such grief. She showed him the development of her gift and how her mother taught her to utilize it to its full potential. She took Erik back to the first moment they met.
Her car had broken down in the parking lot outside of her store. After waiting for over an hour, Erik pulled up in his truck with Brianna. She remembered his first smile and how friendly he was toward her. She also remembered how he did his best to put her at ease.
She recalled their first date, how nervous she was about dating him. She took him through their first kiss, and how much she enjoyed being with him. She also shared her hurt that he never made any efforts to pursue their relationship further than occasional dating. She took him to the episode at the store, the fear and helplessness she felt when the large men attacked her, and how grateful she was when Erik suddenly appeared as if answering her silent prayer. Shanda heard his mind respond to that image with force.
"I'll always be there,"
he projected to her.
“Now you; will you open up to me?” She gently probed the outer boundaries of his mind, but stopped when she came across a vast sheet of gray. Erik had erected a mental barrier to protect his thoughts. She probed the wall gently, but then backed off as she felt the obstacle get stronger.
“I won't pry,” she swore. “Please, Erik, open up to me. Trust me. I won't judge,” she whispered as she placed her other hand against his temple to enhance their connection. Without warning, she felt his mental wall vanish. She gasped at the onslaught of powerful emotions he had been withholding.
She saw a much younger Erik Knight dressed in battle fatigues on a training ground at Fort Bragg as Erik recalled the training exercise that took the life of his best friend. Erik was next to him when he was hit during the live fire drill; he caught his friend as he fell. She saw his scream of pain and sorrow as he held the dead body, cradling the head of his lifeless friend.
She was then transported deep into the jungles of Columbia on a covert anti-drug mission. She saw him pinned down with his unit taking heavy casualties. She heard his scream as a bullet tore through his leg and felt his anger as he fired his M-61 auto-rifle, killing dozens of enemy soldiers. She was with him as he buried his dead platoon members and she shared every tear cried for each soldier entombed on the foreign soil.
He took her into a world of covert operations in jungle after jungle; she saw the horrors of pain and death that had marked his years in the military. For all the pain he had endured, Erik Knight still took pride in the uniform he wore and looked on his service as the key to the man he was.
He didn't have many memories of family, only foster home after foster home. She saw flashbacks to the images he remembered from the car accident that claimed all of his family, but he was barely four years old, and had no real cohesive memories of the event. She saw images of distant men and women whom she knew were images of various foster parents. She saw pictures of a little boy watching
Dragnet
on television; that same boy in a bedroom, reading Sherlock Holmes mysteries and fantasizing about being the world's greatest detective.
Shanda experienced Erik's discovery of his latent gifts. He was at a local zoo on a field trip with his classmates. She saw an image of a young girl who had fallen into the large recessed lion pit, and saw the image of a fourteen-year-old Erik Knight leap in to help her. Shanda shuddered as the huge male lion approached Erik and the young girl. Erik, however, stood his ground; his eyes were filled with a deep intensity as he stared at the large predator. Erik pointed his finger back toward the man-made rocks and told the creature that they were not food.
The great beast growled curiously, but turned away back toward grass and rocks of its man-made home. Erik knelt by the girl, warning off several other curious cats until the animal handlers made their way into the pit. Instead of finding acceptance for his heroics, Erik was shunned by the other students for being different. They called him names like ‘Tarzan’ and ‘Jungle Boy,’ claiming that he, like the lions, belonged in a zoo.
Shanda relived another episode where his inhuman strength first manifested itself. Several boys were teasing Erik after school. The taunts had angered him. She saw the shocking image of the sixteen-year-old easily overpowering the three older boys and then challenging the other onlookers. Even though he had defeated his tormentors, he had only succeeded in further isolating himself from his peers. She saw the images of his foster parents urging him not to utilize the gifts he had because he would never fit in. Erik, with all of his abilities, was alone in the world with no one to guide him or mentor him.
The only happy times Shanda witnessed occurred at a local martial arts studio. In this arena, Erik seemed to excel and found acceptance and friendship. According to the trainers at the school, he was gifted. Erik eagerly learned all they had to teach.
She now knew he enlisted only for the chance to get an education and chase his dream: becoming a private investigator. She saw images of his marriage and felt the pain caused by all the problems he had with work and his wife's dissatisfaction with his income. Shanda quickly realized how fortunate she was compared to him. Through their link, she felt the fear and anger he experienced at his ex-wife's house, she felt the pain of coming home to an empty apartment, and the pain of being rejected by someone he loved more than anything.
Shanda now understood why he wore the costume that he wore, lived the way he now lived: it was to keep people from ever hurting him again. She experienced the joy he felt being with his daughter and also the pain of not seeing her as often as he'd like. Then she experienced the guilt that he felt over his role in the breakup of his relationship. She shared his realization that he drove his family away with his blind pursuit of his dream. He had achieved his dream, but lost everything else in the process. She experienced all of Erik's financial worries.
Shanda wasn't prepared for the unchecked emotion that he felt when he walked into her store to give her the flowers. Through him, she relived the experience in his mind. She felt his panic when he saw the man holding her. She also felt his rage and unbridled power as he destroyed a man nearly twice his size to protect her. To her it was euphoric to experience combat through someone else's mind.
She marveled at how precise and focused his mind and body were during each phase of the fight, and was amazed when he simply willed his body to become stronger. He was fighting to protect someone that he loved and was afraid to lose.
Erik was opening up to her completely. It was only then Shanda realized how deeply he cared for her and how much he had longed to tell her how he felt. She felt his conflict over telling her his feelings and his fear of being rejected by another potential romantic interest.
Erik regained control and quickly pulled her hand away. “I'm sorry. Once it started, I couldn't stop it.” He stared at the floor. Shanda noticed drops of water on the floor. She quickly realized they were tears. She wondered if she had pushed too far, and in doing so, hurt him further.
“As you can see, there's not too much happiness in there,” he whispered.
She noticed that he was struggling to control his emotions. Shanda had pushed too far. The memories that he recalled had been buried; now each hurt was fresh and new in his mind. Erik sat down on the couch and hid his face in his hands. A grief-wracked sob escaped him.
“God, Mark! I'm so sorry,” he cried out.
Shanda went over to him and wrapped her arms around him as he grieved again for the tragic loss of his best friend in the Army Special Forces. “It's all right, Erik,” she whispered as she held him tighter. “You're not alone anymore.”
“He was my best friend back then. We helped each other through basic, and then we went through Libya, Columbia, and Panama together, dozens of covert ops. One hundred jumps and he fucking buys it in a training accident.” Erik stood up, wiping the tears from his eyes as he paced back and forth.
Shanda sensed Erik's effort to calm himself. When he turned back toward her, his face no longer grieved, but his eyes still had the haunted look of a man who's known too much pain. Shanda now understood why. There was very little happiness or love in Erik Knight's life. The only time he had ever loved someone, he was rejected.
Erik looked puzzled for a second and then turned to her. “I can still feel you; I can sense your presence in here.” He pointed to his head.
“I know,” she answered. “And I can feel you. We're telepaths; we can share feelings and experience things that most people can only imagine. But your gifts are greater; you can sense all of nature and the world around us, and your enhanced strength, it's mind boggling!” Only now, through her sharing of his mind, could she understand the unique abilities he kept in check.
Erik turned to her. “I'm sorry. I wanted to say something; I just didn't know how. I was—”
“None of that matters now; you know how I feel and I know how you feel. Let's work from there,” she said affectionately. She could sense that he was emotionally drained from the experience. Erik had relived a great deal of pain and he would have to re-bury the feelings back into the recesses of his mind.
They spent the next two hours cuddled on his small couch in quiet conversation. Erik went into greater detail describing some of the memories that the two shared, entertaining her with stories of Army life. Shanda listened intently, asking question upon question, trying to learn more about him. Erik answered each question and more, revealing to her the lighter side of his nature.
He paused as a giant yawn escaped from him. “Wow, I'm really beat.”
“That's normal for what we've just experienced. I'm wiped out as well. What we both need now is sleep. You have a long day ahead of you and you need to recharge your batteries,” she added as she escorted him into his bedroom. Erik didn't argue. He was exhausted. He climbed onto his bed and stretched his limbs, then exhaled deeply.
“Do you mind if I take the couch?” she asked. She waited for an answer, but Erik had already fallen into the beginnings of a deep sleep. “I'll take that as a ‘no'!” she said with a soft laugh. Shanda took a pillow from his bed, found a blanket, and settled in on the couch in his living room. She held on to his presence in her mind and slowly let herself drift off to sleep.
Chapter 4
Wednesday, 5:30 a.m.
The sound of birdsong awoke Erik from his sleep. He lifted his head to see the time on his alarm clock read 5:30. Erik sat up, knowing he just had time to stretch, shower, and gather his gear before he had to be at the Hopedale Town Forest gate. He looked through his bedroom door over at Shanda who was still fast asleep on his futon in the living room.