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Authors: Unknown
Yes, I suppose, at least when I'm here.''Because . . . because of that funny little woman?''She's not a funny little woman.' His tone
701was one that she recognized now. 'She's a dear, kind, and understanding woman, and wise. Yes, that's the word, wise . . . and lonely.'She had turned her head away from him as he was speaking, but now she was looking at him again and repeating, 'Lonely?''Yes, lonely. She grabbed at me and I grabbed at her for different reasons. We both needed each other badly when we met.' He now sat down beside her and, looking intently at her, he said, 'I was in a state the day I left the Lodge. All I wanted to do at that time was to have a glimpse of the house in which my father lived. From the moment my mother told me as much as she wanted me to know, I became consumed with finding out more. You know, Amy, I'd always felt that I didn't belong anywhere. I knew I had a stepfather, I also knew there was something being kept back from me, something that was shared between my mother and yours, and your father.
Well, we've been all through that, haven't we, during the last few days? But it seems to me now that I was drawn here to this very house, to this very cottage, to this very woman, because without 702her I would have never gone as a helper to an old bedridden man; I'm sure if I'd had to stay in that house twenty-four hours a day I don't think I could have stood it. Coming back here was like coming back into sanity.''You didn't think about me, though, when you left?''Oh, yes, I did, Amy. I thought very much about you.''And now?''Well, I can't think more about you than I did then, and always have.'She moistened her lips, and her eyelids blinked rapidly before she said, 'Are you going to marry me?'He had been leaning towards her, but he did not straighten up nor did his expression alter as he said, 'No; at least not yet, not until I can find a position of some sort in which I'll be able to ... Well, not keep you in the spoilt way in which you have been used to, miss, but to provide decently for you, perhaps in a cottage like this.' He waved his hand now.'You wouldn't need much to provide for me in a cottage like this and I wouldn't mind, horsehair sofa an' all.' She patted the
703seat to the side of her, and his whole manner now changing, he put out his good hand and touched her cheek, saying, 'It must be sufficient for the time being that I love you. But one day / will ask you to marry me, and I hope it won't be too far off. But you understand I must find a position of some kind first/
And now he pulled a face at her. 'Have you forgotten there's still your dear mama and papa . . . eh? And also, don't forget, my impetuous Amy, that we are full cousins.''It wouldn't matter to me if we were brother and . . .' Her head drooped now. 'Oh, really! The things you make me say.'His voice was very low as he whispered, 'It wouldn't matter to me either, dear.' Then, bending quickly, he kissed her on the lips, and when her arms went swiftly round his neck he winced, and she withdrew them for a moment, saying, 'Oh, I'm sorry . . . Is it still painful?''Well, let's say I know it's there. But also let's say that I'm lucky. Half an inch further, they tell me, and it would have been, Goodbye, Mr Skinner ... or Mr Carter.'She shook her head. 'Daddy did get a
704shock when he saw who Mr Carter was. ft was the last place on earth, he said, he expected to find you.''Yes; and it was the last place on earth I expected to be that day I left the Lodge.'As his hand went out to draw her to him again there came the neigh of a horse and she turned and looked over the back of the couch towards the window, saying, 'Oh, there's the carriage. They've come.' And her voice now dropping to an even sad note, she said, 'I don't seem to be able to escape for very long.'He drew her quickly to her feet and, holding her close, he said, 'You will. Just have a little patience, you will. I'll see to it, I promise you, because I love you. I love you more than I'll ever be able to tell you. Unlike you, I cannot express my feelings as they really are. I suppose that was my mother's doing. Things near the heart were never talked about. And I can understand why now. But then, it became a pattern.' He bent and kissed her swiftly, then said, 'Doubtless, as always, you'll get your own way; and you'll change that through time, and then I'll become a pest.'
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706kitchen chairs near the table, but where there was amusement in Douglas's eyes there was slight bewilderment in Bridget's, and this was mixed with some amazement during the next few minutes as she listened to the cross talk between the little woman and Joseph. He was talking as she had never heard him talk to Lily; it was as if they were acquaintances of long standing; in fact, as if they were closely related.At the first lull in the conversation Bridget looked at Joseph and said tentatively, 'We ... we would like to discuss something with you. It ... well, it concerns your future and . . . and the house.' And at this, Bertha got quickly up from the basket chair, saying, 'Well, then, if it's private, I'll leave you to it. I'm goin'
to finish lookin' after me livestock.''I thought you were finished out there?' Bertha looked at Joseph, saying, 'Well, you've been here long enough, lad, to know you're never finished with livestock.' And without more ado she took her old black coat from the door, put it on, then pulled a peaked cap onto her grey hair, nodded towards Joseph and went out.
707There was a moment's silence before Douglas, his tone brisk now, said, 'Well, I'll put it in a nutshell, if that's possible, Joseph. As you know, the house and land, what is left of it, has come to me. If it had been entailed, it would have gone to Henrietta. Even if it hadn't, she may have had some claim should her mother have taken the matter up, but apparently some time ago my father made a new will . . . Oh, this being so, God only knows what would have happened if Lionel had been alive when Father died; he likely would have aimed to finish me. Indeed, yes. Anyway the place is mortgaged ep to the hilt, but I can clear that out of nty own business, as well as the smaller debts that have accrued over the years. Now the point is this. The house was going downhill when I last saw it, but twenty years makes a difference and I'm shocked at the sight of it now, both inside and out, and I would like to be able to say that I have enough money to renovate it back to how I recall it in my very young days, because it was then a beautiful house, with an equally beautiful garden; but that isn't possible. Yet my wife here seems 708only too pleased to throw her money about . . .''Our money.''Just as you say, my dear, as you wish, our money/He smiled tolerantly at her, then went on, 'So she proposes to have it refurbished cornpletely inside, and attention paid to the roof and what is necessary outside; then restore the garden, and even get the little farm working again. But whilst this was being done we would have to live there, and-' Again he looked at Bridget, saying quietly now, 'she has no desire to live there. What is more, Victoria's, that is Mrs Filmore's, only wish is to return to what was her home in her young days, which is of course Meadow House. And so it has been arranged that we take her and Henrietta back with us today. But to return to the business of the house. No matter how good a staff is, it needs a head. Bright has been marvellous all these years. I don't know any other person in the world who would have worked for my father as he has, but he is getting on and, because of his labours, he is tired now and his duties should be light. So, the inside of the house
709needs guidance. As for the outside, I know from experience that things would tend to slack off not only in the yard and grounds, but also on the farm, if there was not a guiding hand. And so, Joseph, I come to the vital point and it is this: if everyone had their due and there was justice in this world, you, as the son of the elder son, would have inherited that place. But even as it is, we both consider it to be rightfully yours . . .''What! Mine! That place, mine? Never! Anyway, the law is the law and I have no more right to it than Bertha has.' He jerked his head back towards the door leading into the scullery.Douglas's voice was still level as he replied, 'I know. Yes, I know that perfectly well. Under law you have no claim to the estate; but that isn't the point I'm trying to put over to you. As it stands the place is mine, and I could sell it tomorrow to a developer, and he would probably pull it down and build rows and rows of pseudo villas on the forty acres or so left. But as I said, I likeI that house and I want to see it as it once was, and so, therefore, I'm asking you to take on what will be ... well, a job, for the next 710few years. And it will take a few years to bring it into order,'Joseph was sitting apart from Amy on the settle. He turned and looked at her, then from her to her parents. This was a turn of events he had never dreamed of. He, too, had thought that Mr Douglas, as he still thought of him, would surely sell the place, although he hadn't thought, even vaguely, about a developer. But now he could see one jumping at the opportunity.His mind swam into the dream again. He could see the old man, his grandfather, lying in that huge bed; he could feel his arms about him, and he was telling him something, that at first had no real meaning for him.When understanding sprang at him, the force of it made him suddenly edge further along the settle, and he heard a voice speaking. It sounded like the old man's to his ears, yet it was his own, and he was saying to Douglas, Thank you for the offer. Yes, I will take it on, but only on one condition.''Condition?''Yes, condition, and that is I marry, take a wife.'
711He now groped for Amy's hand and held it; but he was looking at Bridget the while he said, I've long loved Amy, and you know that; but it didn't meet with your favour, and I can understand why. Oh yes, I can understand why. But now things have been straightened out in that quarter there has been only one thing in the present situation that has stopped me from asking her to be my wife, and that is I was in no position to support her. But you yourselves have made that way clear.' Now looking directly at Douglas, he said, 'I ask your permission, sir, to marry Amy.'When Douglas looked at Bridget their glances dropped away from each other, and Douglas said, with a smile, 'Well, I think there'd only be a civil war if I made any objection.' Bridget did not speak, but her silence went unnoticed because Amy, jumping up, ran to them and, standing behind them, put her arms around their shoulders and kissed first one then the other and, almost gabbling, she cried, 'It's wonderful! Wonderful! I never thought of that. And I'll love the
)lace. Oh! Daddy; you will have to tell me /hat it was like, and I'll see to all the inside, 712and Joseph will see to the outside. Oh!'-she was kissing them again-'I love you both very much.'When Joseph heard Bertha's cough corning from the scullery, he called to her, 'Bertha! Bertha!
Come here a minute.' And she came into the room, saying, 'Well, what is it? By! you look cheerful.' And he went to her and put his arm around her waist and said, 'We are going to be married.''Oh, lad'-she flapped a hand at him'this is so sudden.' And at this he laughed out loud and pushed her from him, and she, looking at Amy who was coming towards them, said, 'Well, I guessed as much. It was as plain as the nose on your face,' and holding out her hand she took Amy's and shook it as she said, 'You're pickin'
a good lad, and if good wishes can make you happy, you have mine.''Thank you, Mrs Hanratty. Thank you.'Both Douglas and Bridget had risen to their feet and, speaking for the first time, Bridget said, 'Well, we must be off. We've got a long journey before us.'Amy now glanced at Joseph; then, looking 713at her parents, she said softly, Td like to stay.''But, my dear, it's all arranged and your Aunt Victoria will be all ready to leave when we get back.''I ... I could find my way. I could get a cab to the station and
. . .''There's another bed up above goin' begginV They had turned to Bertha, and she nodded ceilingwards before adding, ' 'Tisn't fancy: 'tis a bedroom but the bed's as dry as a bone. She's welcome and she'll come to no harm.'Neither Douglas nor Bridget gave any answer to the old woman but they looked at each other and they both knew what the other was thinking. They were going back to a similar situation, a certain New Year's morning when she hadn't returned to her own bed, the morning when the glowing girl standing opposite had been conceived. The fact that there was this old woman in the house with them would make little difference, and she seemed the type, at least to Bridget, that would condone the outcome of suppressed passion. And in both her daughter and Lionel Filmore's son there was sup-714pressed passion at this moment. Yes, there was a snag to this union, at least in her mind, for he could not cease to be the son of Lionel Filmore, that cruel man, the adulterer and murderer.Well, she could do nothing more about it. She who had begun the series of events was helpless now in the face of the present situation.She heard herself say, 'If that's what you would like to do, dear, I'll get Minnie to pack up some nightclothes for you and Ron could slip along with the case.''Oh, thank you, Mammy. Thank you, and you, too, Daddy.' She was once more kissing them.Following the goodbyes, they went out and got into the carriage, and as they drove away Bridget looked back at the figures posed in the doorway, Joseph, his arm around Amy, and the little woman standing to his other side, that strange little woman who seemed to have taken him over, and, by the look of it, not only him, but also Amy. She had lost her daughter. Within the last half hour she seemed to have gone from her 715entirely, and the loss was already weighing on her.She was lying back in the half-circle of Douglas's arm. He was talking soothingly to her but she was only half listening. She loved Douglas. Oh, yes, she adored him; but there was in her a need for her daughter.She had long ago realized that a woman needed not only male companionship, she needed female companionship, too. It started with one's mother, she supposed, and then perhaps a sister, followed by a friend, just one friend. You could never have two women friends, not really. But what were friends compared to a daughter? Your mother had bred you but you had nothing to do with that; the sister was connected by blood, a friend by affection; but a daughter was something you had created. You had fostered the seed; then you had thrust it from the shell and tended its growth. At times even the feeling for it had outdone that for the sower. Such was your love for it that you planned its life: not only was it to be impregnated with love but it was to be surrounded with it; and yet you even saw the day when you might have to relinquish your 716hold on it to another. You saw it as painful but compensated for by the uprighteousness in the character of the man into whose hands you were allowing your beloved flesh to pass.But it hadn't turned out like that. No. She hadn't taken into account Lily's son . . . Lily's bastard son who, in spite of his appeal, must hold within him all the traits of his father.Her daughter was from a different line of blood, so she told herself; in fact, at times so opposite did she imagine Douglas to be from his brother that she came to wonder if there was any tie there at all. His mother, she understood, had been a very bright and gay lady at one time. In fact she had almost made herself believe this as the years had unfolded and revealed to her her husband's inner nature, which was that of a good man.Yet being who she was, she was again forced to face up to the fact that she had been the instigator of all that had happened over the past twenty years, even to the hanging of Joe Skinner. For if she had not in her determined way ensured what she imagined to be Victoria's happiness and allowed her to face life and its inevitable disappointments,