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Were there even explanations to be made?

Alicia slumped against the towering boxes and stared at the starkly bare apartment walls that had yet to be warmed into a home. She'd had such plans for decorating their first place together with all her favorite colors and Pier I rattan. She still hoped to...

Except she didn't know where she stood with Josh. After their life-and-death struggle, it seemed their problems should be insignificant. But they weren't. She knew better now than to ignore troubles in hopes that they would fade of their own volition.

She couldn't delay much longer settling things one way or the other. The archway afforded a clear view of Josh starting a fire in the fireplace. Northern lights streamed through the wall-size picture window during the final hours of night.

Alaskan snow-capped mountains loomed as large and indomitable as the man in her living room.

Long legs were encased in faded jeans, broad shoulders covered by a T-shirt and white cable sweater.

Her stomach did a quick loop-de-loop.

She
would
talk to him. Soon.

First, she just needed to find the darned microwave so she could heat the carry out meal they'd snagged on their way home from base. She wasn't delaying. Much.

She sliced through the tape on a box. They'd been picked up by the military helicopter and taken to Eielson Air Force Base in Fairbanks for a once-over by the doctors. Once the flight surgeon declared them healthy with only minor frostbite and no tissue damage, they were both released.

Sifting through the box, she uncovered...no microwave. Damn. Why hadn't she paid more attention to how the packers labeled the boxes? She shuffled down to the next box and hacked it open.

A debrief with the Office of Special Investigations had taken up the rest of Christmas Eve, but well worth it. All intelligence indicated the illegal uranium mine was being used to funnel material for nukes over the Bering Strait into Russia. From there, it went to radical factions in Cantou. The two goons on snowmobiles were already spilling vital information in hopes of immunity and new identities. Hopefully, that information would help keep things chilled in Cantou for Josh's squadron.

The plane hop from Fairbanks up to their base in Anchorage had been silent due to lack of privacy. And now they had privacy to spare during the dark of Christmas morning. Alone. Neither one sure what to say. But she had hope after the way they'd worked together at the Quonset hut in bringing down their attackers. Afterward, Josh hadn't even suggested going to his BOQ room or office.

Abandoning her microwave search, she leaned against the open box and just enjoyed staring at her hunky hubby. Josh knelt in front of the grate, adjusting the kindling on top before reaching into his back pocket for...his trusty Bic lighter. She smiled, suddenly glad there hadn't been time yet to install gas logs, this moment wonderfully reassuring in its reminder of how they'd worked together to survive the past days.

She wanted to settle in front of that fire with him and make love through the day. Years of stored hormones demanded release. But she also wanted more with Josh. She always had, but now realized she'd sabotaged their relationship from the start out of fears and insecurities, her refusal to plan for a future because making that final commitment symbolized a loss of control. Fixing things between them would be a delicate balance.

Absently scratching a moving sticker off the box, she let herself savor watching Josh in motion, the man always so sure of himself and his actions. He never seemed to need anyone.

Or did he?

Her thumb slowed on the sticker. He often joked about carrying a Scooby-Doo lunch box to his doctoral dissertation defense. Sure he got along well with people. His sense of humor earned him plenty of pals. But why had she never noticed he lacked close friendships? And he outranked almost everyone his age since he'd entered the Air Force young and been promoted early.

Alicia looked again at the solitary man blowing gently to coax the fire to life with patience and single-minded determination. He'd probably already calculated the exact wind power needed.

Beyond missing out on having a real senior prom, how many friendships had he missed out on as well?

Yes, he was more than a little arrogant. Self-assured. And of course he was usually right.

Smart man that he was, he must have known on some level that he'd been pushing all her buttons, too, almost ensuring she would run. She wasn't the only one who'd kicked the legs out from under their shaky marriage.

Here they were, two combat veterans scared to death to tackle happily ever after. Two leader-loners who had to take a risk on a partnership. Partnerships came with higher stakes. Having someone to watch your back also meant having someone to lose. But if she didn't try, she would lose even more. She couldn't lie to herself anymore.

She still loved Joshua Rosen. Totally. No quitting this time.

With renewed energy and purpose, she tore into another box. Christmas decorations winked back up at her. A snow globe glistened. Santa perched on an airplane dropping packages. Her mismatched creche waited to be assembled.

Presents and parcels were packed alongside, including a last-minute arrival she'd shoved into the box.

She lifted out the package addressed to her.

From Josh's grandmother?

Alicia tore away brown packing paper and reached into the box. A wooden moose stared back up at her, antlers ready for candles.

Her eyes filled with tears. She scooped out her mismatched creche and held it beside Josh's moose menorah from his grandmother. Somehow the two different symbols presented in their quirky manner looked so very right together.

Just the way she'd envisioned and hoped things could be for her with Josh.

She replaced both back in the box with careful hands. Shaky breaths doing little to ease her light-headed nerves, she smoothed her hunter-green angora sweater. She wasn't naive enough to believe they would never hit rocky patches again. She was scared, but then the two symbols of hope cradled in the moving box had sprung from scary times survived through trust and love.

It would take a lot of compromise and love—courage beyond a chestful of medals—for she and Josh to lower their defenses enough to be touched and healed by the power of the season.

But thanks to knowing this wonderful man who had the most endearing penchant for wearing crazy boxers, making her smile, melting her heart, she now had an abundance of trust and love to give.

"Do you need some help?"

Josh glanced up from blowing on the logs, just the sound of his wife's voice combusting a fire in him that rivaled anything in the works in front of him.

Alicia strode toward him across the white carpet, packing box in hand, crimson red velvet miniskirt begging his hands to climb right up and explore her legs. Her Christmas-green fuzzy sweater all but screamed "touch me."

Rein it in, libido.

He wanted to park with her in front of a romantic fire and she wanted to scale mountains of boxes nearly as tall as the snowy mountains outside their window. Not an auspicious start to their reconciliation.

"I'm set here." And he was, with a clear mission. Operation: Win Back His Wife—without being a dumb ass this time. Hand on his knee, he shoved to his feet. "What about you? Do you need some help with that?"

He kept his tone light. He wouldn't push her like he'd done before. If she needed time to finish settling her past, their future, then he would damn well give her plenty of space.

But he wasn't walking away.

Her black ankle boots thudded softly against the carpet as she walked past a rattan futon. "Actually, yes, I could really use help finding the microwave, but we'll get to that in a minute. First, I have something for you." She rifled through the box, setting aside bulks of packing paper, until she unearthed a gift-wrapped box, shoebox-size.

She thrust it toward him. "Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. From me."

He took the box from her, the simple brush of their fingers making him long to unwrap her instead.

Patience, he reminded himself. He tore through the gold foil paper and lifted open the lid. An antique brass sextant gleamed up at him. A smile spread across his face. "This is really great."

And he meant it. She'd been searching for the perfect gift for him even during the worst low point of their relationship, and that brought hope. Well, hell, hadn't he been doing the same in shopping for her?

"I thought it would look good in your office." She fidgeted with the hem of her fuzzy sweater, nerves unlike her but endearing all the same. "And when you see it, you can think about me."

"I don't need reminders to think about you." He dropped a quick kiss on her lush mouth, but pulled back before she could pull him closer or shove him away. He tucked his head into the box. "I had something for you in that stack of presents the movers packed up."

He shuffled past the snail-mail package from his grandma and lifted out the silver foil package. "Here.

Merry Christmas and happy Hanukkah to you, too."

She unsealed the tape with careful precision, taking her time as if she wanted to extend the moment. The long silk scarf slithered out in a sheath of white. Her smile rivaled the gleam of the brass sextant. Her fingers traced along the personalized stitching at the tail end of the fabric. Vogue. "Oh, my God, is this ever awesome or what?"

With Alicia flair, she draped the aviator scarf around her neck, trailing it all the way down to her knees past her red velvet miniskirt.

Unexpected.

Perfect.

Worth fighting for, and more important, worth waiting for. He'd spent his life on fast-forward. Having Alicia in his life was too important to risk losing by rushing.

She stepped into his arms. "I love you, Rose-Bud."

He wouldn't rush her, but he sure would keep up as fast as she wanted to run. "I love you, too."

He met her halfway for a kiss, the fire heating the back of his legs nothing in comparison to his hot wife heating the front of him.

She wriggled closer. "Let's make a baby."

"Right now?" Not that he was adverse to making love to her, but her quick turnaround on the topic left his head spinning.

"Well, as soon as I check in with my doc, but yes."

He could feel her tremble in his arms. She was scared? Nervous? And in that moment he realized reconciling was just as important to her. Relief kicked through him.

He sketched his hands up and down her back. "I've been thinking about the two of us."

Panic flared in her eyes.

"Whoa! Hold on. This is good stuff coming up, Vogue."

She relaxed under his hands.

"I do want children. But you were right before that I was rushing, and I think that had something to do with the fact I was afraid of losing you. That's the wrong reason for getting pregnant."

Her eyes widened again, but with surprise. "I was right? And you're admitting it?"

"Yes, you were. I knew that here." He thumped his heart. "I was just having trouble getting my head to shut up long enough to listen."

"No? Really?" Her impish smile matched those funky ankle elf boots of hers. "I've been doing some thinking myself."

"And?"

"Having a plan is good, too. How about this? We know how to be friends." She tucked her hands in his back pockets and urged him closer. "We know how to make love. We just need to work on being in love and building a relationship. Let's make this next year a twelve-month gift to each other."

"You're a wise woman."

"I'm learning. This is uncharted territory for me."

"Me, too." He'd managed alone fine for more than thirty years, but since meeting Alicia, he couldn't return to his old way.

"How about this time next year we make that baby?"

Already he could see her in crazy-colored maternity clothes, could imagine the wonder of watching his baby grow inside her. "Sounds like a perfect timetable for me."

"And then the next Christmas we could work on another. And then maybe we could work on a July Fourth baby one year."

"Hey, how many kids are we talking about here?"

"Lots. I'm good at the bossy big sister-mom role. Got a problem with that?"

"No, ma'am."

"Smart man." She traced the ridges on his forehead. "And I can already hear you thinking. I don't have a problem going off active duty and flying fighters for a reserve unit once our house starts overflowing with all of those holiday babies." She bracketed his face in her soft palms. "I do make plans, Josh. I've just never had anyone to share them with before."

"You really are incredible." His mouth found hers with a wealth of friendship and respect all wrapped up in even more love flowing between them.

Eventually, she eased back, her eyes dazed. Her hand unsteady, she reached to bat at the box behind her. "I need your help now."

"As long as you want help unpacking a box of sheets for the bed. Or pillows. For the bed. Or maybe a blanket.
For the bed."

Laughing, she angled away to reach inside the box, giving him a glimpse of creamy thigh as her pleated miniskirt hitched higher. Dangerously high. His mouth watered.

She spun back to face him, her creche in hand. "I'd like you to help me set this up first in our new home."

"My pleasure." Together they placed all the mismatched figurines around the barn. He laid claim to the angel, placing her smack dab on top of the star, where she could fly among the clouds like his ladylove.

Alicia scooped out another smaller box, the one with mailing wrap on it. "And this came from Nonni."

"Nonni already sent something for me?" She always mailed him the best cookies, but they were probably moldy by now. Damn.

"Actually, she sent this to me. But I thought you might want to be the one to place it on the mantel."

She lifted the lid. A dark wood antler he recognized well peeked from the tissue wrappings. His favorite moose.

"Would you please place it on the mantel,
our
mantel?"

"Of course." He took the wooden moose from her hands and placed it above the fireplace, beside her creche.