I Am Yours (Heartbeat #3) (3 page)

Chapter Six
Katie

I hear Kelly’s footsteps on the stairs. I lift my head off the pillow and glance at the clock. It’s a little after nine. She knocks on my door, but I pretend that I’m asleep. I just don’t have the energy to talk to her right now. After the day’s tumultuous events, the pounding in my head is just beginning to subside. If only I could stop replaying those stolen kisses from Adam in my mind.

And that’s exactly what they feel like—stolen. As if I took something that didn’t belong to me. Not really. He’s in love with someone else—someone who doesn’t exist. I don’t know who she is, but she’s not me, and I don’t think she was that girl in the accident either. Yet, there are details of my life he’s familiar with. Deeply personal things I’ve never shared with anyone. Needless to say, trying to figure it out has sent my brain into overdrive. No wonder it feels like my head’s going to explode.

My health isn’t the greatest—far from it actually. It took a lot for Kelly to convince Dad to let me come to the Outer Banks, claiming that the sea air would be good for me. I was running a low-grade fever last week, but she talked him into it, promising that she’d take care of me. Kelly even threw in that Brian’s brother worked on an ambulance, and if my condition deteriorated, he’d be there to help, offering assurances that he’d know what to do. She never realized that he’d end up making me feel worse instead of better.

I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling fan rotating on its axis. I’m too anxious to try and sleep. Instead, I get up and walk over to the dresser. Rooting through the top drawer, I find a pack of matches. Striking one, I begin lighting the candles I brought with me from home. Whenever I’m not feeling well, they always comfort me, their glow helping me to relax.

Kelly let me have the turret room, and I couldn’t resist leaving the door to the balcony open. A light mist is falling outside, blowing the gauzy sheers. Suddenly, without warning, the rain turns into a downpour and the candles start to flicker. Moving to close the door before they go out, I lose my breath when I see Adam standing on the balcony, soaking wet. He must’ve stealthily climbed up the drainpipe without making a sound.

Again, I’m surprised that I’m not afraid. I’m usually painfully shy around guys. Most of the time I don’t even have the guts to speak to them. But with Adam, I feel confident, bold even. Like I want him to pursue me, and I’m not scared of him taking me outside of my comfort zone. I like the thrill, the excitement, the sensation of waking up and feeling alive.

His shaggy hair is falling in his eyes as water drips from the ends. The buttons of his shirt are undone and droplets cling to his bare chest. His lips are parted and his blue eyes radiate a mixture of elation and desire. He knows that he’s trespassing where he doesn’t belong, but he doesn’t feel the need to ask anyone’s permission to enter my bedroom either.

I tilt my head and gaze up at him, my hair tumbling over my shoulder. He advances toward me, looking somewhat guilty, bordering on apologetic. He realizes he shouldn’t be here, but he is. And I don’t want him to leave. I like the danger of having him so close.

He blinks and raindrops fall from his eyelashes before running down his face. And that’s all it takes for the sheer happiness of the moment to light up my face. I rush toward him as he greets my smile with one of his own. Its sincerity warms my heart as he looks at me like he’s just completed the longest journey of his life, filled with relief at finally reaching his destination. He’s come home. He’s where he’s supposed to be. And if I’m being honest with myself, I feel like I’ve been waiting for him all along.

The force pulling me to him is too strong to ignore. I don’t fight it. I give into it. I let it take me over. I stride up to him, reaching up on my toes, my fingers dancing across his neck as I take his lips with mine. Pressing myself into him, the front of my white t-shirt is soaked instantly. But instead of experiencing any kind of chill, I feel like I’m burning up.

The kiss is gentle this time, lasting only a few seconds before he draws me into a hug, laying his sopping head against my shoulder while wrapping his arms around my waist, drawing me as close as he possibly can to his body. He winces when I squeeze him back tightly, causing him to loosen his grip on me and step away. I reach up one hand at a time to examine his face as he tries to look down, refusing to meet my gaze. Finally, he gives me a mournful smile as I persist. Silencing my worries, he runs a hand lightly across my face before bringing me in for another kiss. He’s so careful with me, so tender. He breaks away to smile at me again, a look of wonderment in his eyes, before resuming our kiss.

Slowly releasing my lips, I allow my hands to roam down his chest as I start to tug on his shirt. He complies with my request, but he seems to be in pain as I help remove the sleeves from his arms. I glance up at him in concern, and he whispers, “My ribs. They were broken not too long ago. I don’t think they ever fully healed.”

He hangs his wet shirt on the bedpost as I run my hand gently over his chiseled abs. He bends his head to the side, closing his eyes. He doesn’t open them as I glide my fingers over the scar on his forehead, where undoubtedly he had stitches at one time. My heart contracts as I ponder what happened to him. He submits to my touch, moving his head along the path of my fingertips, yielding to my efforts to examine him. He doesn’t resist, but I can sense he doesn’t want me to linger on his injuries either.

His hair appears darker now that it’s wet, and I can’t help twisting my fingers through the strands at the back of his neck as he rests his forehead against mine. He’s so close to me. All I can see are his eyes. He leans back, pushing my hair away from my face. The way he is looking at me is like he’s taking in every part of me. It’s hard for him to keep his lips off mine as he brushes a featherweight kiss across them. It feels so intense. I have to look down for a minute.

When I’m ready to meet his eyes again, his hands travel up my sides, encouraging me to lift my arms. I do so, and within seconds, his fingers are at the hem of my shirt, pulling it up and over my head in one swift movement. I help him free my long hair from inside the collar, reaching behind me to hold it up, trying not to think about my bare breasts being visible. He drinks in every inch of me, and that smile is back on his face as his hands caress my back. This time, it’s Adam who lifts my hair away, entwining it through his fingers while resting his chin on my shoulder, allowing his free hand to roam the full expanse of my back from shoulder to hip. I slide my arms around his lean, muscular body as he buries his face against my neck. When he stands upright again, he nuzzles my ear as I extend a trail of kisses along his jaw. He sighs in contentment as his stubble bristles against my lips.

“Katie, can I come in?” It’s Kelly knocking on my door. My heart stops. I can’t remember if I locked it or not.

We stand frozen, half naked in each other’s arms as she jiggles the knob. We don’t even breathe as we watch it begin to turn.

“Katie, c’mon. Let me in. I need to talk to you about something.” The knob halts in place as Kelly attempts to twist against the bolt. “Open up.”

I sigh in relief. I did lock it, buying us some valuable time.

The regret in his eyes is palpable when I silently point to the balcony, but he nods in agreement, quickly tossing his shirt over his shoulders. He looks at me longingly as he once again steps out into the rain, somehow coinciding his descent with a burst of thunder in order to drown out his escape.

My heart is ricocheting around inside my chest at Adam’s hurried exit, and I sound winded when I finally respond to Kelly’s frantic tapping. “Hold on. I’ll be right there.” Fumbling with my damp shirt, I slip it over my head, not even caring if it’s inside out. The candlelight is dim. Maybe she won’t even notice.

I say a quick prayer before throwing open the door. “Hey, Kelly. What’s up?”

“What the heck were you doing in there? I thought you were sleeping.” She eyes me warily before scanning the room. “Why are you all wet? And why is there water all over the floor?”

“I had trouble closing the balcony door when it started to rain and I got a little drenched. Yikes, it looks like I tracked in quite a bit.” I glance up at her apologetically. I’m a known klutz, after all.

“I swear, Katie. Sometimes I wonder about you.” Shaking her head, she positions herself at the edge of the bed, inches away from where Adam’s shirt was dangling just a few moments ago. I do my best to shake the image of his naked torso from my thoughts as Kelly starts hammering me with questions. “Why are you flushed? Were you under a million blankets again? Katie, it’s seventy degrees outside.” She sighs loudly. “And why are all these candles lit? What if you fell asleep and the sheers caught fire?” She drones on and on. “If you’re lighting candles, you shouldn’t be sleeping with the door locked. If there’s a fire, we’d never get to you in time.”

“Yes, Mom.” I can’t help goading her. It drives me crazy when she treats me like a child. I’m almost nineteen. “What did you have to tell me anyway?”

“Why don’t you lie down and I’ll brush your hair while we talk?” She pulls back the covers and smoothes the rumpled sheet. “I promised your father I’d take care of you and I don’t want you getting yourself all worked up.”

Little does she know, she’s not the one responsible for my accelerated heart rate.

I bite my bottom lip to keep from smiling and hop into bed, spreading my hair across the pillowcase. She retrieves my brush from the end table and gets to work, undoing the tangles made by Adam’s fingers. The dampness of my shirt is clinging to my skin, causing me to shiver involuntarily.

“You better not be getting sick,” Kelly admonishes. Jeez, she notices everything. “I’m not getting married tomorrow without my maid of honor,” she mutters to herself, and I keep my eyes shut, relaxing as she runs the brush against my scalp. “So what did you think of Adam?”

I better play it cool or she’s going to pounce all over me. “That’s what you wanted to know?” I shake my head to give the impression that she’s blowing things way out of proportion. “He’s okay, I guess.”

“Okay? That’s all you have to say about him?” She sharply yanks out a knot and I grit my teeth. “Especially when he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.”

“I just remind him of someone. That’s all.” I don’t like how she’s monitoring our every movement like she’s waiting for something to happen between us.

“Really…who?” She’s trying to sound disinterested but failing miserably.

“A patient he attended to.” My voice cracks slightly.

“Hmmm…that’s funny. Of all the patients he treats, one you happen to resemble made that much of an impression on him? That’s kind of strange, isn’t it?” Is Kelly feigning innocence or is she really perplexed? I can’t tell.

“Well, she apparently died while he was trying to save her.” I hate to be such an open book, spilling these details to her. But I can trust Kelly, right? She is my cousin, after all. I might not be as close to her as I am with Jennifer, but I have to believe she has my best interest at heart.

“You don’t say? Well, that morbid mind of yours must be eating this up.” She leans over her bulging belly, tickling my side.

“Stop it!” I protest as I squirm away from her. “I thought you were going to help me calm down, not rile me up.”

“All right, all right. I cease and desist. Just keep your eyes closed and start counting backwards from a hundred and I’ll have you asleep in no time.” I start to say the numbers along with her, giving in to the peaceful rhythm she’s creating. My mind easily drifts, corresponding to the images she’s whispering in my ear.

Only I don’t know she’s doing it because I think I’m asleep. But I’m not—not really.

Chapter Seven
Jada

Damn it. I shouldn’t be drinking while on antidepressants. I know it’s wrong, but at this point, I don’t freaking care. I clink my shot glass against Brian’s and chug down another round.

“And to top it all off, he doesn’t give Kelly a second look now that she’s as big as a whale. Noooooo…he moves on to the next hot piece of ass he can find.” We’re the only ones at the bar when the bartender announces last call. He’s been serving us all night, even though I’m underage. Brian’s been ordering and paying for all of our drinks, so it seems like the bartender’s turning a blind eye when it comes to checking my ID. Too bad we’re both too drunk to drive. Brian doesn’t even pay attention to him. Instead, he points his finger in my face. “Jada, you must’ve slept with Adam, right? Tell me, what’s so great about him? Because I sure as hell can’t figure it out. From my vantage point, he’s just a lanky piece of shit as far as I can tell.”

I’m in the process of guzzling the last of my beer when it comes squirting out of my nose. “Have sex with Adam? I’d rather grab a defibrillator paddle and burn the other side of my face.”

Brian erupts into laughter, sloshing me with the remains of his drink. “You’re a good woman, Jada. Too good to put up with my dickhead of a brother.”

“He’s my partner, that’s it. Oh wait, I forgot…not anymore.” I chortle as my head comes down to rest against the bar.

“What, you got him fired?” His gleeful tone would normally grate on my nerves, but not tonight—or should I say, not this morning? Since it’s already after two.

“Nope, not that lucky. I got myself reassigned.” My mood takes a turn and I suddenly feel like I’m going to cry.

“How’d you manage that?” He sloppily pats me on the back when I don’t look up.

“I called our boss before we left the motel. Told him some stuff I thought he should know.” The enormity of what I did is starting to sink in. “Especially since Adam was either drunk or high when he crashed the ambulance.”

“Wait a minute…what?” I raise my bloodshot eyes to meet his. He doesn’t look so jovial anymore.

“Your brother’s a mess, Brian. He has been for quite a while now and I’m sick and tired of holding the pieces together. I’m done.” Holding up my hands, I dare him to challenge me. “Our boss is scared to death of a lawsuit, so he’s keeping things under wraps. Adam’s on probation and I’m getting a new partner.”

“So he just took your word for it, huh?” He watches me cautiously, tilting his head.

“No, I had a corroborating witness.” I manage to utter that multisyllable word, even though it comes out slurred. “It was his nephew who sold Adam the weed. He confessed in order to get Adam in trouble. That’s how much people hate your brother.” I chuckle, tipping the nearly empty bottle against my lips.

“Wow, you are one crazy bitch. I’ll give you that.” He rubs the bridge of his nose, squinting against the glare of the neon lights.

“Hey, he’s the one who did it, not me.” My indignation flares at Brian’s insinuating tone. “I didn’t do anything wrong. I just reported it, admittedly later than I should have, but Adam’s the one to blame, not me.”

“You tell yourself that if it makes you feel better, sweetheart.” He clumsily reaches for his wallet and it falls to the floor with a resounding thump.

“Why are you getting defensive all of a sudden? I thought you couldn’t stand your brother?” I get right up in Brian’s face, giving him nowhere else to look.

“Doesn’t mean I like a snitch either.” He curls his lip, sneering down at me.

“Well, I bet you wish someone had warned you about how much of a slut your soon-to-be wife is.” I practically spit the words at him, but he shoulders the brunt of my malice, swallowing his pride. He won’t defend her. He can’t.

“Bravo, Jada, bravo. I wanted to come out tonight and try to salvage some part of this lousy evening. Forget about Kelly. Forget about Adam. But that was never gonna happen, was it?” He gives me a sad smile as his eyes glaze over. He slumps over his stool in defeat.

“Brian, I…” I start to apologize, but it’s too late. The damage is done. We could’ve been allies, helping each other through this weekend. Instead, I had to push things too far.

“Jada…just don’t, okay?” He runs his hands roughly against his face that’s in desperate need of a shave, attempting to sober up. “I’m gonna have to call Adam to drive us home and I’m not looking forward to it.”

“Why can’t we just call a cab?” I moan, dreading the thought of Adam seeing me like this.

“Normally, I’d say yes, if I didn’t need my car to get to the ceremony.” His eyes flicker to the clock above the bar. “That starts in roughly ten hours. Adam’s gonna have to leave his piece of shit Neon here.”

I twinge inwardly. That car means more to me than he knows. Adam actually let me drive it to his place, where I heard about Kelly’s baby for the first time. I blink rapidly, the memory of Adam’s confession searing through me.

“Man, do what you gotta do.” I brace the edge of the bar, twisting around in my seat. My feet unsteadily hit the ground as I stumble toward the exit. I don’t think I can stomach listening to Brian beg Adam for a lift. He’s probably going to have to coax him out of bed. Hopefully no one’s nestled against him. When I think that we were in the same compromising position nearly twenty-fours ago, it makes me want to puke.

The night air is chilly as it blows off the Atlantic. We’re in some dive of a pub that doubles as a raw bar. Its pirate motif is beyond tacky as I kick the shin of the Blackbeard figurine next to the door. Brian promised me that if I stayed I wouldn’t have to see Adam again. Well, he’s another O’Malley who’s nothing but a big fat liar.

Although, Brian’s sure to suffer enough as he nurses a wicked hangover under the blazing hot sun while exchanging vows with Bridezilla tomorrow. Who says a beach wedding is magical? It sounds more like torture to me.

My legs wobble as I gingerly slide down, bracing myself against the wooden beam of the deck. My dreams are shattered. I’ll never get to marry the person I love. At least Brian has that going for him. He can’t even bring himself to accept the fact that the baby is Adam’s. He’s still clinging to some fantasy that it’s somebody else’s. I don’t know whether to feel proud of him for standing by Kelly or disappointed that he’s willingly deluding himself when the truth is staring him right smack in the face.

I wish I weren’t a person others deemed disposable, someone easily thrown away without hesitation. My father washed his hands of me. Jason, my ex-boyfriend, took off without a backward glance. Adam found what he was searching for and moved on. Am I really that replaceable? It seems like everyone’s able to get along just fine without me.

Screw it. I don’t need this. I can get by on my own. I don’t need someone to take care of me. Everybody just walks away in the end anyway. What’s the point of letting my guard down? I only get my heart trampled on when people get sick of me or when they no longer feel the need to use me. Well, not anymore.

I pick myself up and clomp down the steps. I’ll walk back to the motel if I have to. There’s no way in hell I’m getting in a car with Adam. He can kiss my luscious black ass for all I care. He had his chance, and he rejected me. I refuse to be played for a fool.

“Jada, where do you think you’re going?” It’s Brian calling to me from above. “C’mon, Adam will be here any minute.”

And just like that, two familiar headlights pull into the parking lot.