I Call Him Brady (11 page)

I was so angry my body was shaking all over. I wanted to sit down, to let my heart find its rhythm again, but I was afraid Austin would take it as a sign of my defeat and so I stood there, pacing in place to keep the shakes from turning into convulsions.

“Yeah, yeah. We heard plenty of your side of the story last time around. This time it will be my turn. And I’m thinking court won’t be the only place I do my talking.”

I stopped mid step. What other form of torture did he have in store for me now? “What do you mean by that?”

Austin looked downright evil. “Well, I was just thinking…how much do you think the tabloids would pay me to hear all about my little encounter with Jack Cole in your kitchen? I mean, between the threats and being nearly choked to death, I think it’d make a pretty good story, don’t you?”

The blood that had previously been rushing in my ears went silent as it drained from my face. “You wouldn’t. No one would believe you.”

“Oh, I think they would. I didn’t get any pictures, but I think I got a sweet little recording of the whole thing.” I watched in horror as he pulled his phone from his pocket and played back what he had taped. I could make out Brady’s voice clear as day as he threatened to break Austin’s neck.

Austin watched with hateful satisfaction as the last bit of fight left me. “I think you know what you need to do.” He slid his phone back into his pocket and turned to walk away. Just as he was getting into his Camaro he called back, “Oh, and I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that you can forget about ever seeing your truck again as well if you don’t.”

A
s soon as May had heard the door shut, her head came popping out of Jessa’s room.

“Is he gone?” she asked quietly.

                   “Not yet. How’s Jessa?” I was standing by the window waiting to see Embers and Austin walk into view.

“She’s fine. Watching cartoons on my phone. Thank God for YouTube and headphones.” She was peering around the room. “Where’s
Em?”

             
“Outside with Austin. He insisted on talking to her alone and she agreed. I’d go down there, but I think it’s probably safer for him if I keep my distance right now.” I could still feel the rage coursing through me every time the image of Embers falling to the ground flashed in my mind.

             
“I’ll go.” May didn’t even wait for me to answer. She was already out the door and down the steps.

             
I watched and waited for what felt like an eternity. Embers had her back to me so I had no idea what was happening. I couldn’t tell if she was crying or shouting. It was maddening. At last I heard footsteps indicating May’s return.

             
The look on her face was grim and I sensed she hated the bastard even more than I did. Of course, she had probably been privy to more damage than I could, or wanted to, ever imagine.

             
“Did you hear what they were talking about?” I asked, looking back and forth between her and the window. Austin’s car was already pulling out of the long driveway, but Embers was still standing out there.

             
May shook her head. “Not enough to make out any words. But after all the shit he was spewing up here, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was threatening to take Jessa.”

             
“That’s insane. Who in their right mind would let him raise a child?” There was no way I would ever let that happen.

             
“It’s family court, lawyers, judges and case workers. Trust me, I was there the last time around…nobody there is in their right mind.” May went back toward Jessa’s room. Hovering in the door she watched her niece, who by some miracle had escaped the incident with her innocence still intact.

             
I was about to open my mouth and say more when Embers walked in. Her expression had turned to stone, devoid of the happiness I had seen in her beautiful face just a few short hours ago. The sight of her pain made me sick to my stomach. I would put an end to this. I would put an end to Austin. I didn’t care what it would take.

I walked back inside, broken. After seven years, Austin had finally succeeded. My entire body felt like lead as I heaved one foot up the stairs after the other. Brady would be at the end waiting for me. My head was spinning thinking of what lie ahead. The difference between knowing what I had to do and doing it were worlds apart.

It took an enormous amount of effort to even lift my gaze high enough to meet his eyes when I walked into the room. And even as I met them, I wished I hadn’t.

“I need to talk to you.” I had to clear my throat. “Alone.”

I didn’t wait for him to respond, but turned to May instead, who nodded letting me know she’d stay with Jessa for as long as I needed her to.

Brady remained silent the entire time he followed me down the stairs and into May’s apartment. It wasn’t until I closed the door behind us that he reached out for my hand. I shook him off.

“This isn’t going to work.”

He stared at me, his face hardening. “What isn’t going to work?”

“This. You and I. I don’t know what I was thinking letting it all get this far. I’m sorry.”

I couldn’t even look at him. Instead, I had my head turned toward the back wall of May’s living room and was studying it as if there was something more interesting hanging there than a large black and white clock.

Brady came at me with a force. Fury burning in his eyes. “What did he say to you?”

I needed to change course and fast. Witnessing these emotions in him on my behalf was only making this harder than it already was.
Damn Austin. Damn him
.

“This has nothing to do with Austin,” I insisted.

“Bullshit!” For a moment Brady looked like he was going to hit something. Then, without warning, he fell apart before my eyes. “Don’t do this,” he whispered.

“I have to. You don’t understand. In your world all you have to worry about is you. It doesn’t work that way for me.” I was starting to shout. The injustice of it all came
fighting its way to the surface in one gigantic purge of emotions. “You know why May won’t move to Detroit? Huh? No, you don’t. She won’t do it because of me. Because she won’t leave me here alone. For three years she’s put her life on hold to help keep mine going. It would be a slap in the face if I chose you over her now and let Austin destroy our company after everything she sacrificed to help me build it!”

Brady was mirroring me step for step as I paced around the room. “So don’t let him destroy it. I can help you get another truck. Hell, I can get you an even better one. Just let me help you.”

“Are you kidding me? That’s all I need! To put my business in yet another guy’s hands. No way. I’m not taking your fucking money, Brady.” I should have known he would do this. That he would want to fix things for me. That he would move hell and high water to protect me. Well, I would do the same for him.

“Why does it have to be just
my
money, Embers? Haven’t you ever heard ‘what’s mine is yours – what’s yours is mine’?”

“That’s for married people.” I saw his eyes light up and his mouth open. “Don’t! Don’t you
dare!”

“Why not?”

“Because money isn’t a reason.”

“I know that. Love is.” He had managed to corner me beside the wall and the entertainment center. “I love you, Embers. Enough to fight for you when you don’t have any fight left. Whatever Austin threatened you with, whoever he intends to hurt to further devastate you, tell me and I promise you, I will stop it.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. My insides were churning from the fluctuating adrenaline and gut-wrenching agony that continued to sear through me. Only I knew he would never walk away as long as he thought it was Austin who was keeping us apart. There would be just one way to change that. And it would break both of our hearts.

“You’re not hearing me! This is not about Austin, this is about me and the fact that I live here, three thousand miles away from your world. Where did you think this was going Brady? How did you see this playing out?”

I could see from the shift in his expression that he thought he had glimpsed one last light of hope. “Honestly? I figured you and Jessa would come and live with me. You could keep running your food truck business if you wanted – in fact – I could probably get you a gig working on set feeding the cast and crew. Or you could stay home with Jessa and paint, if that’s something you wanted. I don’t care. I just want you to be happy. Let me make you happy Embers.”

             
He had no idea I had set him up.

             
“For how long?”

             
His brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

             
“I mean, how long before you get tired of having a ready-made family sitting in your bachelor pad? How long before you feel tied down by the responsibilities that go along with having a child? How long before you start to miss your freedom? Before you go back to screwing supermodels?”

             
“Embers –“

             
“Don’t. Because you don’t know how long. You don’t know if it will be six months or sixty years. And fact of the matter is, I can’t take a chance like that. I can’t risk everything to possibly end up with nothing. Maybe if it was just me, but it’s not.

“I am a mom, Brady. That means that nothing – NOTHING – is more important to me than my child. I went through a hellish custody battle the first time around, did things that made me hate myself, made me hate my own reflection in the mirror, just to win. If I were to take off on a whim with some guy I’d only known a week and wound up dumped three months later, Austin would take me back to court in a split second and this time around I would no longer have the one thing I had going for me. The fact that I have always,
always
, provided my daughter with a secure and steady home life. 

“I won’t risk my daughter’s well-being over some celebrity crush that is likely to wear out before the movie ends.”

Brady laughed harshly. Then he turned away shaking his head. He walked all the way to the hall and for a second I held my breath and thought
, this is it, this is the moment he walks away. The last image I will have of him
.

Only he stopped when he reached the end of the room and began to rock back and forth on the soles of his shoes as if an internal battle was going on between his brain and his feet. After what seemed like an eternity, he spun back around and words started flying out of his mouth faster than I could comprehend them.

“You know my entire life, I’ve never felt anything real? Not a single fucking thing. And in my world, that shit is normal. Take my parents for instance. The entire universe thinks they’re these amazingly talented people who not only made it big in Hollywood, but then actually made
a marriage
work in Hollywood. Quite an accomplishment, right? Fuck no. My father has had more affairs than I’ve had birthdays. And he doesn’t make a secret out of it either. They just call the fucking house like it’s no big deal. And why would it be when my mother’s been sleeping with Moira, her hair stylist, since before I was even old enough to know what a lesbian was. Do they love me? I have no fucking clue. They sure as hell don’t love each other.

“Fast forward a few years and I’m so fucked up in the head, I run away to Africa just to get a break from all of the lies I’m confronted with day in and day out about what my life is supposed to be like. I spend months taking care of these wild animals and for the first time in my life I’m witnessing what it means to care about someone because now I have elephants as fucking role models. Then, still seeking out some truth, I go and hide out with orphans who show me some of the rawest emotions I’ve ever seen in my life. And you know what I did with all of that amazing exposure to the human soul? I mimicked it. I studied it. I used it.

“I have made more women fall in love with me on screen than in real life, because I can fake that shit like it’s nothing, but I can’t do it for real. Or at least I couldn’t.” Running on fumes, he came to an end, briefly. After a long and deep inhale he blew the air out loudly in defeat, allowing his built-up tears to escape in the moment.

I expected to see him wipe his face, or gesture in some way to try and deter the emotions which were now making themselves physically visible, but he did neither. Instead, he took both of my hands in his and held them tight, rubbing the top of my one hand gently with his thumb. He stared down at our hands for a long while. Folded into one another it was hard to tell where his ended and mine began. “My whole life I’ve never been a part of anything true. Until now. You and me. This. This is real, and I know that for a fact because it’s fucking killing me that you can’t see it.”

              I wanted to scream,
of course I see it!
at the top of my lungs. Wanted to shake him and hold him and make love to him all at the same time. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything except deal him one last blow.