I Call Him Brady (3 page)

“I was in Detroit.” Typical. When it came to talking about me, she had a vocabulary that surpassed an English major’s, but when it came to divulging her own business she was one tightlipped motherfucker.

I decided to help her elaborate.

“May flew out there for the weekend to get a little
nookie. Her boyfriend Marshall lives in Detroit and they’ve been doing the long distance thing for like three years. She’s been trying to get him to move here, but he can’t because his Baby Mama is psychotic and would make his life hell if he so much as suggested that he was entitled to have an actual life post her, let alone a new woman.”

Jack seemed genuinely interested in the soap opera that was my sister’s life.

“Why not move there?”

She rolled her eyes up at him and dryly said, “Would you?”

“Point taken.”

Our appetizers showed up and I was grateful for the change in topic. Anytime the question of moving to Detroit arose, May played it off as being out of the question. As if she would never abandon the sun and surf in exchange for Detroit’s less inviting winters and lack of ocean. It was bullshit and I knew it. She loved Marshall and would have gladly lived on Mars if it meant being with him. Which made the real reason she was still here even harder to bear.

Two hours later and we were all waddling from the restaurant, too stuffed to do more than shuffle our feet over the gravel parking lot as we slowly progressed until reaching the car.

From there it was just a fifteen minute drive back to our place and I was still not clear on where Jack was supposed to be staying. May had gotten him to pay us more than we made in a month for his stay in our elusive vacation rental and I had already started spending the money in my head. It would have been a shame to have to give it all back now if the whole thing turned out to be just another aspect of her ‘playing pretend’.

I pulled up in our driveway and parked under our carport, right beside our food truck. I saw Jack eye it with the standard amused curiosity I was quickly getting accustomed to.

“Funky Fresh Foodies,” he read the swirly teal lettering sprawled out across the whole length of the truck.

“Yeah, that’s us.” I pulled the keys from the ignition and climbed out of the jeep, turning toward the back just in time to catch Jessa who was already leaping out from the backseat.

“No kidding.” Jack got out as well and wandered closer to the truck to investigate. “What kind of food do you guys serve?”

“Oh, you know…funky…fresh…food.” I wasn’t being an asshole. There really wasn’t a better description of our menu, which included things like stuffed chicken bagels, shrimp salsa wraps and pasta potatoes. You’d have to read the ingredient list to understand, but it would just bore you. Unlike our food, which was like a mini adventure for taste buds everywhere.

“I want to try some funky fresh food!”

“Get out of here. You just ate.” I grabbed him jokingly and gave him a slight shove. It wasn’t until I felt his arm muscle tense in the palm of my hand that I realized what I was doing and retracted it instantly.

“I’m serious.” A statement made in complete contradiction to his chuckling. He pointed at the menu posted on the truck. “What is a pasta potato and how can I get one?”

“You can’t. We’re closed.”

“Well, when do you open?”

May glanced down at her watch. “Not for another ten hours.”

“Ten hours? It’ll be midnight. Where do you girls set up shop? Outside of strip clubs and hourly motels?”

“Not until around 4 am.”

Having settled the matter temporarily, I looked over at May, waiting for her to make her next move. We could only linger in the carport for so long.

“Alright then, Brady, ready to see where you’ll be staying for the next two weeks?”

She was headed straight for our front door and I was starting to have a sneaking suspicion that I knew exactly
where she had decided to put him up. This was going to be interesting. Especially since Jack was still following her like an eager puppy dog, minus the wagging tail.

“I already dig it. But you know, you can stop calling me Brady now.”

She didn’t even turn around. “I know.”

The door flew open and she made a sharp right, straight into the downstairs apartment.
Her
apartment. Which Jack would likely realize the second he saw the hot pink walls, the limitless stream of Beatles memorabilia and the endless supply of girly knick knacks.

I braced myself for the moment he would say
hell to the no and run screaming from the house, but I was worried for nothing.

“This is nice. I take it you did the decorating?” He was grinning at my sister.

She gave her usual aloof expression and sighed, “Obviously.”

Then, our eyes met, and we both burst out laughing. And not your normal kind of,
haha - that was funny laughter. No, this was hysterical ‘I can’t believe you just did that you asshole’ hyena laughter.

While Jack stared at us with a bewildered expression, Jessa just rolled her eyes and explained, “They do this
a lot
. If you’re going to be here for a while, you should probably get used to it.” To which we responded by laughing still louder and harder.

I
was pretty sure I’d lost several levels of testosterone just standing in that apartment with its wall to wall chick shit and blindingly pink enclosure. Oddly enough, I still felt entirely comfortable there. Kind of like I felt completely comfortable around Embers and her family from the first time she spoke to me. Like she knew me or something. Which, incidentally, people tended to do a lot, speak to me like they knew me, I mean. Only with Embers, it somehow felt real and it was making me more determined than ever to stick around her until I figured out why.

After taking a short tour of the place, I dropped my bag onto the floor beside the bed and wandered back into the living room. I tentatively took a seat in one of the rose colored sofas and was pleasantly surprised at how comfortable it was.

Stretching out, I rested my legs on the coffee table and got out my phone. Cris was probably still wondering what the hell had happened to me. Well, he’d have to wait to find out. Right now, the only person I was letting in on my current whereabouts would be Markus, my manager.

While Jack was downstairs getting himself situated in May’s apartment, she and I were upstairs totally losing our shit.

“Jack Cole is staying in our house!” she squealed as soon as the upstairs door shut behind us.

“I know! And paying us to be here! It’s fucking unreal.”

“That’s because I’m a genius.” May’s ability to sound humble while boasting was nothing if not admirable. It was all in the tone.

“Yeah well,
genius, that could have totally backfired. What were the odds he was willingly going to spend five minutes, let alone two weeks, in a place that looks like a giant snowball cake exploded in it?”

May made a noise that sounded like a tire going flat and waved her hand dismissively.

“Oh, please. I saw the way he was looking at you. We could have rented him the space under the overpass and he would have set up camp without questioning it.”

I nearly dropped my keys as I went to hang them on the hook by the door.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re kidding, right? Jack Cole is totally into you, Embers.”

“Are you fucking with me right now? ‘Cause I honestly can’t tell.” She had to be. There was no way Jack Cole was interested in me. Not when he had hot actresses and super models at his disposal. And this was not a low self-esteem thing. I’m just saying, I didn’t do pretty and primped. I was a single mom who spent her life inside of a food truck. I owned maybe one pair of heels, and I say
maybe
because I hadn’t actually set eyes on them since 2008 when I wore them to my cousin’s wedding.  My hair was generally styled via wind while driving with the top down and my choice of make-up tended to involve something that went beyond the smoky eye straight into inferno, and then that’s where it came to an abrupt halt. Unless you counted Chapstick as make-up, which I didn’t. You weren’t about to spot the likes of me on the cover of In Style or Cosmopolitan. Like ever.

I was still staring straight at my sister waiting for an answer while she had her eyes directed at the ceiling, twirling the end of her hawk near the nape of her neck between her fingers. A tell-tale sign she was getting annoyed with me.

“It was so obvious, Em. But if you couldn’t see what was happening right before your eyes, I can’t explain it to you. Meanwhile, what did you do to hook him anyway?”

Feeling like a scolded twelve year old who really should have learned by now not to wash her whites with reds, I wandered over to the couch and plopped down beside our cat, Coyote. We had originally named her Lucy when we brought her home from the shelter three years earlier, but had since realized that she suffered from a major identity crisis. Lucy was no cat. She was a coyote. Or at least, she thought she was.

I could hear humming coming from Jessa’s room. A good indication that she and Mermella had started their daily ritual of dressing up for tea.

“I didn’t do anything to hook him. It was more like he got trapped in my presence and I helped set him free.”

May slid down into the recliner across from me. “Care to elaborate?”

“Jessa and I were on the elevator coming up from the parking garage when Jack busted in just as the doors
were closing on the middle stop – you know, the one for the rental cars. Anyway, he was on the phone talking about how he caught his girlfriend cheating on him when he came down here to surprise her.”

May was glued to every word like I was revealing the secret of life to her. “Shut up! Who cheats on Jack Cole?! Then what?”

“Then, I reached our floor and I got off. In the meantime, a ton of other people got on with Jack still standing there in the elevator. I don’t think he really knew where he was going. Anyway, I saw this guy about to talk to him and it was just so clear that he wanted to be left alone.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. So, basically, I saved him from being hassled by a horde of fans, hence I gave him his freedom.”

“And how did you do that?”

I shrugged. “I called him Brady.”

May fell back into the cushions, deflated by the ending. “That’s it?”

“Pretty much. I also did a German tourist routine while we were waiting for you at the gate. That was kinda fun.” I had to smile just thinking about it.

“Sorry I missed that. Jack Cole’s German is hysterical.” No doubt she was remembering the same assassin movie I had earlier.

“Yeah, I didn’t let him do any of the talking.”

“Smart.”

I could feel the giggles start to rise again and all it took was one look at my sister for them to spill out.

Five minutes later we were still catching our breath.

“So, are you going to sleep with him?”

“He does not want to sleep with me. And even if he did, I’m not looking to be anybody’s rebound. Not even Jack Cole’s.” Even as I said the words I knew I was lying. So did May.

Humiliated, I face planted into the couch cushions, giggling yet again. After a moment I came up for air, tears in my eyes from laughing and beet red cheeks which were a combined result of embarrassment, as well as, lack of oxygen. I sucked in a deep breath and held it, forcing myself to be still. Then my inner twelve year old made yet one more appearance.

“I’d totally make out with him though. I mean it. I would kiss the crap out of the man.”

May shook her head laughing at me. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Maybe. But you still love me.”

“Like a mad woman loves her slippers and whiskey.” And that was really saying something.

I lifted my chin as high as I could, trying to see over the windowsill from where I was sitting, in hopes of getting a glimpse of the ocean beyond it.

“Beach?”

May was already out of her seat. “For sure.”

She was halfway down the stairs before I could remind her that Jack was staying in her room.

I was buried in my closet digging through my bikini drawer in search of a matching set when I heard loud knocking coming from downstairs. Caught off guard by the clarity of the sound, I stopped what I was doing to see what else I could hear.

It was muffled, but definitely audible.

“Any chance I could sneak in and grab something from the bedroom real quick?”

“Your previous tenants leave something behind?” I could tell from his tone that the jig was definitely up. Apparently, so could May.

“Hey, you’re the idiot who got in the car with a couple of strangers and then came home with us. Things could have turned out so much worse for you than they did.”

The sound began to fade as I heard them move away from the door and into the apartment. I hurried from my closet and into my bathroom which was located directly over May’s bedroom. When I couldn’t hear anything, I began to get antsy.

I swear, I wasn’t usually about listening in on other people, but this was different. I knew my sister. If she thought Jack Cole had even the slightest interest in me, she would call him out on it and put him on the spot first chance she got. And if this was it, I wanted to hear exactly how he responded.

I stood frozen in the center of the room, holding my breath, straining to hear even the slightest indication of voices. When I finally picked up on some distant murmuring, I was able to trace it back to the fan above the toilet. I had to climb on top of it and pry the grid cover to the fan out of the ceiling, but at last I was able to make out some words.

“…keep my eyes closed for the most part, but I’m not complaining.”

“Of course not.”

Silence.

“Let’s not beat around the bush. Why did you really come here? Think hooking up with my sister will be a great way to get back at your ex?”

“What? No.”

“Really? ‘Cause the way I heard it, things ended pretty abruptly between the two of you when you found out she was screwing someone else.”

“So what if it did? Girls like Brit are a dime a dozen. If I wanted to get back at her, I’d take the next flight out of here and call up any one of my exes the media would actually recognize and bang her. At least that way, Brit would actually find out about it.”

My heart sank a little. Dream boys were so much better when they remained in your dreams. Reality always did have a way of fucking things up.

“What is it then? What does a guy like
you
find so fascinating about my sister?” May was turning up the bitch factor.

“You say that like you don’t think she has anything to offer. What, you two have some sort of twin rivalry or something?” Jack’s tone wasn’t exactly warm and fuzzy either.

“
She’s
not the one I think has nothing to offer.”

Silence again. I heard the mattress squeak as someone went to sit on it. Jack presumably, considering the blow May had just dealt him.

“Look. I’m sure you have all kinds of pre-conceived ideas about the type of guy I am, and many of them are probably completely justified, but I promise you, I am not here to hurt your sister. Obviously, I don’t know Embers well enough to even begin to put into words the qualities she possesses that make me want to be near her, let alone explain it, but I do…I want to be near her.”

Apparently, that was all my sister needed to hear. In the blink of an eye, her demeanor had switched again.

“Cool. Well, we’re going down to the water. Wanna come?”

“Um…yeah. Definitely.”

I heard May’s dresser drawer screech as she pulled it open. Then again when it closed.

After that, there was nothing more to hear.

When May came back upstairs, she wandered into my bathroom where she found me sitting on the floor next to the bathtub, head in my hands and the fan grid lying just a couple of feet from me.

She took one look at the hole in the ceiling and me huddled on the floor and asked, “What are you doing?”

“Trying to stop the room from spinning.”

May came closer. “Why?”

“Because it’s making me dizzy.”

“No. Not why are you trying to stop the room from spinning. Why is the room spinning at all?”

I lifted my head. “Oh. Turns out, if I stand on my toilet and stick my head into the vent, I can hear everything happening downstairs.”