I Hope You Find Me (10 page)

I headed back the way I came and reached out
to open the doors once again but a reflection in the glass moved
just above my head, stopping me. I looked up, startled, and saw my
face but also a man, standing behind me. The view I had of him was
murky, almost cloudy in the glass, but it was easy to see that he
was tall, shirtless and had blood dripping from his nose. He
reached out to me with his hand and I spun around, flattening
myself against the door. The air twirled around me furiously,
lifting my hair from my shoulders and whipping across my face,
nearly blinding me and I shrank back from the man in horror. Where
his eyes should have been were only empty holes, and the sick color
of old blood covered his face from the nose down. His mouth was
moving but I heard nothing he said, because my own screams were so
loud they vibrated through the glass behind me and echoed down the
street. Just before his outstretched fingertips grazed the front of
my shirt, I clamped my eyes shut and screamed for Connor. I waited
for the man to touch me, but the air stilled instantly and my hair
dropped back down to my shoulders in fluffs.

When I opened my eyes, there was no one
there. I looked all around the front walkway; it was wide open so
he couldn’t have disappeared that quickly. I realized I was holding
my breath so I let it out in one long exhale and watched as the
vapor clouded before me as I felt a chill pass through my body and
I frantically fumbled with the handles until I had pulled one of
the doors open enough to squeeze through. Once inside the lobby I
bolted for the stairwell door.

I ran up three flights of stairs before I
heard the squeak of a door somewhere above me. I shrank away from
the railing but I was certain that if I hadn’t been seen yet,
whoever was there would be able to hear the thumping of my heart
rebounding off the walls. There was a soft shuffle of feet, and a
clicking sound, and I slammed my hands against my mouth to keep
from screaming. When Connor’s voice reverberated down the staircase
I nearly broke out in tears with relief.

“Riley?” He called.

“
Oh, thank god.
” I said to myself.

I moved close to the railing and peered up.
Connor was two flights above me, and Zoey was standing next to him,
her tongue flopping out of her mouth. When she saw me, she rushed
down the stairs to greet me with a series of her customary wet
slobbers.

“I’m glad we found you.” Connor said, as he
descended. He smiled down at me and I struggled to keep myself from
rushing up to him and throwing my arms around his shoulders in
relief. Instead, I kneeled down and bear-hugged Zoey till she
squirmed away. Before she got too far, I tugged on her collar and
brought her face level to mine.

“You do not poop in the house.” I said it
sternly, emphasizing each word clearly, but even the dog knew it
was a moot point.

“Yeah, she came out of your room after you
got in the shower and circled around my feet till I agreed to take
her out.” He smiled at me, and reached down to stroke the top of
Zoey’s head. She glanced up at him and sneezed. Connor and I both
laughed.

He looked at me before asking, “Are you
alright? You seem pale.”

I nodded a bit too quickly and swallowed hard
before speaking. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You sure?” He pried.

“Yeah, of course. So, how did you get
upstairs without me seeing you?” I asked him. I was eager to change
the subject to
anything
other than what happened
downstairs.

“Oh, we took the elevator. Have you been
taking the stairs every time?”

I blinked at him like he was speaking to me
in Swahili. “The elevator works?”

When he was done laughing at me, he nodded
and said yes, the service elevator worked.

“Then why the
Hell
did we climb up
twenty flights of stairs when you brought me here?” I gaped at him,
and smacked his arm playfully.

“I don’t ride it often, in case it breaks
down or something, plus I avoid it at night. I guess I forgot to
tell you it was working.” He laughed again, “I’m so sorry.”

“Right. Of course you are.” I smiled at him
and pointed up at the nearest landing. “So we can take it upstairs
from there?”

“Yep. When we got back to the suite and
didn’t find you, I figured you went downstairs looking for us.” He
led the way up the stairs and opened the door.

A solitary bloody handprint had dried on the
wall just below the light switch. I hadn’t noticed it before, so I
raised my hand up to it as I passed by. The whole print fit into my
palm. I snatched my hand away from the child-size print and
followed Connor into the hall and around a corner to the elevator.
I watched him push the call button but didn’t get excited until a
dim yellow light glowed…a signal of life.

“I thought you might have been Matt when you
opened that door.” I didn’t look at him.

“You saw him this morning already?” Connor
looked surprised but sounded almost irritated.

“Yeah, he’s a bit of a jerk I think.” I
slightly regretted it after I said it, but the words felt true. I
snuck a glimpse at Connor and he was eyeing me carefully.

“Why?” He asked in a low voice.

“It’s probably nothing.” I was interrupted by
the ding of the elevator as the doors opened before us. Connor went
in last and pushed the button for the twentieth floor. He turned to
look at me, with his hands on his hips, and a frustrated look on
his face.

“What’d he do?” He asked me carefully.

“He didn’t
do
anything. Let’s just say
the guy has no gift with words.” I shrugged and braced my hand
against the railing. I never felt comfortable in elevators, not
since I was fifteen and spent over thirty minutes trapped inside
one in between the tenth and eleventh floors of my grandmother’s
senior complex.

“Well, I don’t trust him,” Connor said and
turned so that all I could see was his profile. I looked at him and
thought his was a face that an artist would draw or paint
incessantly…unable to achieve true perfection on canvas.

“So,” I chose my words carefully. “Should we
hold off on heading out east? At least, until we know more about
these two?”

“Definitely.” The word came out rushed and he
looked at me after he said it. I was sure he was going to say
something else, but the elevator slowed, causing the pit of my
stomach to lurch, and the doors slid open.

The only sound in the hall as we walked back
to the suite was the sound of Zoey’s padded feet thumping along in
rhythm atop the worn Berber carpet.

***

We hadn’t been in the suite for ten minutes
before our new neighbors knocked on the door. I intentionally
stayed sitting on the couch with my coffee, petting Zoey, as Connor
let Matt and his sister inside. Zoey flew off the couch and
welcomed the visitors with wet sniffs and stretched out
submissively at Mariah’s feet.

“Awww, she’s so sweet!” Mariah gushed. Zoey
rolled around on her back, wiggling underneath Mariah’s hands and
allowed her to rub her belly. It wasn’t something she did with
strangers, but the pickings had been slim in the attention
department.

Matt sat down at the bar, rapped his knuckles
onto the counter and said, “So, Mariah and I want to head north,
maybe make our way to Nevada. We have family in Vegas.”

“Really?” Connor was the only one to respond.
He set hot coffee in front of Matt.

“Yeah.” Matt paused and then took a long look
in my direction before continuing. “Of course, if you don’t have
any travel plans, you’re welcome to tag along.”

I avoided looking at him, and chewed on the
inside of my lip to keep from saying something rude, but Connor
beat me to it.

“Well, isn’t that kind of you, inviting us to
tag along
. I think we’re good here though, thanks.”

My teeth clamped down hard and I uttered a
strangled yelp. Everyone turned to look at me.

“Sorry, I bit my cheek.” I blushed, and
licked my lips nervously; avoiding Connor’s knowing gaze and Matt’s
glare.

Mariah stood and for the first time I noticed
she had a canvas shopping bag slung over her shoulder. She moved
from the entryway to the kitchen and held the oddly shaped bag out
to Connor, almost like a peace offering.

“Breakfast.” She smiled at him. “We really
appreciate you letting us stay, and we have plenty still. It’ll go
bad if we don’t share.” She sent a sideways glance at Matt, who
looked away from her. I got the feeling he didn’t want to share
much of anything.

“Thanks, what is it?” Connor asked her as he
opened the bag. “Oh wow, yum.” His reaction made Mariah grin.

Curiosity got the best of me, and I left the
sofa to join them in the kitchen. Connor reached into the bag and
pulled out two mini watermelons.

“Did you find those in a store?” I was
surprised, since it was off season but our whole food markets
always had fruit. How they had stayed fresh this long after the
power went out shocked me.

“Yeah, we found them yesterday at a little
ethnic market on the other side of downtown. Almost everything was
rotten. Matt wouldn’t even go in the store it smelled so bad. But I
wanted to check. There were a few things that I found, still
edible.” She beamed with pride.

“That’s great, thank you.” Connor said,
smiling at Mariah. I cleared my throat and offered to cut the melon
myself while the others gathered around the bar counter.

“So when are you planning on heading north?”
Connor directed the question at Matt.

“I don’t know. Was thinking soon but now that
we found you guys and this place, I guess there’s no rush.” Matt
shifted on his stool and leaned forward so his chest was resting on
the counter. He was watching me slice up the melon and place the
pieces into a large glass bowl. I could feel his eyes on my back.
He lowered his voice to a mocking tone, “Unless we’re intruding, of
course.”

Clunk. Clunk. Clunk. The knife hitting the
cutting board was the only sound in the room. I kept slicing
through the fruit, pretending not to hear the hidden implications
in his statement.

“Uh…no, you aren’t intruding.” Connor was the
one to break the awkward silence.

“Great!” Mariah jumped from the stool and
came into the kitchen to take the bowl from me before I could fully
turn around with it. She set it in front of the two men, and faced
me again. “I can’t tell you how glad I am to be around another
woman.” She nodded over her shoulder at her brother, “I mean, I’m
so grateful to have Matt and I love him and all, but finding you
two, this is just amazing! Don’t you think?” She spoke so fast that
she couldn’t possibly have had time to breathe.

I smiled at her, “Yes, it’s…great.” I glanced
at Matt, who was watching me, while sucking on the end of a melon
wedge. Mariah leaned in to hug me and I froze. I hadn’t actually
touched so much of a person’s body since before my own family got
sick. It felt alien in a way. I instantly remembered my kids. I
patted Mariah’s back quickly and stepped past her, hoping that no
one saw me fighting back tears. I excused myself to the bathroom
and once behind the door, splashed my face with cold water from the
tap. After a few deep breaths, I towel dried my face and opened the
bathroom door to find Connor standing there.

“You okay?” He asked quietly.

“Yes, why?” I cleared my throat. I stood as
tall as possible, but still managed to feel small in front of him.
He took a step forward and slowly reached out and lightly stroked
the side of my forearm. He lowered his hand but kept his gaze where
he had touched me. A tingling sensation spread from my wrist up to
my shoulder. When he spoke his voice was just above a whisper.

“Are you okay?” He repeated.

“
No.
” I could barely squeak the word
out. I closed my eyes, not wanting to look at him, not wanting to
look at anyone. In that moment I just wanted to cry.

“Want to get out of here for a bit?” He asked
me, his quiet voice was tender, almost soothing and his accent was
a bit stronger, masking the sound of the letter‘t’ a bit.

“Yes.” I finally opened my eyes and we stared
at each other. I saw something in his expression that mirrored my
pain. For a brief moment we just stood there, exposed, raw, and
broken. Connor reached out again and this time took my hand,
leading me out of the bathroom and across the bedroom.

Connor’s fingers slipped away from mine as
Zoey met us at the door, and I bent over and rubbed her head. She
knew I needed the love more than she did. When we joined the others
back at the counter, Matt was talking to Mariah about something
inaudible and they quieted as we approached. Not sure what to say,
I took a piece of the cut fruit and nibbled on it. I didn’t have
the heart to tell Mariah I hated watermelon. She smiled and pushed
the bowl closer to me, and I smiled back at her but avoided looking
at Matt.

“So Riley and I were thinking of heading out
to get a few supplies, we should be back in a few hours. Will you
guys be okay in the hotel by yourselves?” Connor was standing
behind me, with Zoey at his feet.

“Oh.” Mariah said, sounding disappointed.
“Oh, no, that’s fine, we’ll be fine.” She tried to sound more
upbeat but had a confused look on her face. “Is everything
alright?”

“Yes.” Connor and I spoke at the same
time.

“Of course.”

Matt slid off his stool and raised his arms
in a stretch above his head. I felt the move was an act to show off
his defined abdomen. He flexed his arms outward and locked his
fingers together, cracking the knuckles. I looked away from
him.

“Ah, its okay, Mariah. I think these two want
some alone time.” He winked at me, and I glared at him. I felt
Connor place a hand on my lower back, and lean in closer and I
stiffened, not sure if it was an act to piss off Matt, or an
innocent gesture of affection.