I Left My Back Door Open (21 page)

“Jade, the musicians were hot. By the way, which one was the one you were telling me about?” I winked.

“The one with long wavy, dark hair, and olive skin. He had his shirt off,” Jade whispered. “He was playing the oud.”

“What's an oud?” Skylar asked.

“It's like a large mandolin. But it's much more ancient,” Jade explained.

“He was the one that did all the moaning, too?” I asked.

Jade nodded, her eyes twinkling.

“He has a nice voice and a nice chest,” I said.

Skylar cleared his throat. “Dee Dee, I thought you came here to work on your belly dancing technique.”

“I did. Jade just happens to have a
spiritual connection
with one of the musicians. And now that she's pointed him out, I'm simply giving her my assessment.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, what are you two planning to do afterwards?” Jade asked.

“We're kinda limited,” Skylar said. “I have to relieve the babysitter, so we're just about ready to call it a night. Why?”

“Well, I'm always keyed up after these performances. I thought we might all hang out, maybe have a snack at Soul Kitchen over in Wicker Park.”

“I live South,” Skylar said.

“Are you in Hyde Park?” Jade asked.

“Yeah.”

“Jade's way out in the north suburbs, in Lake Forest,” I said.

“If you didn't have your daughter, you guys could come out there,” Jade offered. “I could put you up. You could go for a walk on the Prairie tomorrow.”

“Jade has a nice spread. And I don't mean bedspread. She lives near Ragdale, the artist colony.”

“I have to take a rain check. I hate to be a party pooper, but I
do
have my daughter.”

“You could bring your daughter along,” Jade suggested. “I've got plenty of room. Yoshi's away on business. And both my sons have gone back to school.”

“They're in New Hampshire in boarding school,” I informed Skylar.

“Brianna hasn't even met Dee Dee yet,” Skylar said awkwardly. “And I don't want her to wake up in a strange house. She's been through a lot of changes lately.”

“I understand,” Jade replied. The coffeehouse emptied out.

“But thanks anyway.”

“Yeah, maybe some other time,” I added regretfully. I felt a little irritated that Skylar couldn't go with the flow and hang out. Why couldn't he imagine that it would be an adventure for his daughter to wake up in a mansion?

“Dee Dee, don't let me cramp your style,” Skylar said.

“What do you mean?”

“Just because I'm stuck with a kid doesn't mean you can't continue to have fun. Jade's all keyed up and going home to an empty house.”

“Well, Jade, we could hang for awhile,” I offered.

“Cool.”

“Skylar, you sure you don't want a lift?” I asked.

“No, that's miles out of your way. I can hail a taxi.”

“Don't tell 'em you wanna go South,” I instructed. “Tell 'em you wanna go to
Hyde Park
. That is, if you can get anyone to stop,” I added. “It's hard for a black person, especially a man, to hail a taxi at night.”

“Yeah, sometimes it's been difficult.” Skylar sighed.

“I could hail the taxi, and you could jump in,” Jade suggested.

I nodded. “Jade stands the best chance of being picked up, with or without her belly dancing costume on.”

“Actually, I'm gonna change out of it. I'll be right back.”

“I would really like to hang with you ladies tonight,” Skylar said ruefully. “I don't relish being in this position. My father was a good provider, but he still used to put his hat on, and simply say, ‘I'm gone' or ‘I'm going out.' And that was it. Women were tied down, men weren't.” He shrugged. “I know it wasn't fair, but that's the way it was in our household.”

“Mine, too,” I agreed. “And, you're right, it wasn't fair.”

“I'd really like to be free to do a lot of things with you. I wish we had the whole weekend together.” Skylar caressed my hand with his long fingers.

“I appreciate the thought,” I said. “But I do understand. You're a single parent.”

Skylar twisted his face like he was sucking on something sour. “Sometimes I cringe when I hear those words.”

“What words?” I asked.

“‘Single parent.' I know it's true, I
am
a single parent. I suppose a man just doesn't grow up expecting that label to ever apply to him.”

“A friend of mine has a button that says ‘Mom is not my real name.' You need one that says ‘Daddy is not my real name.'”

“Yeah, I do need one,” Skylar said, stifling a yawn. “But a single parent by any other name is probably just as whupped.”

“I'll take your word for it.” I patted him affectionately on the shoulder.

“Right now, I'm reminding myself that when I stand over Brianna's bed tonight and watch my little angel sleeping, I won't want to trade places with anybody else in the world.”

“That's got to be the bomb, watching your child sleeping.”

“Yeah, it doesn't get much better than that,” Skylar agreed.

“Just think, tonight you'll get to have this cosmic experience watching your baby sleep, and Jade and I'll just be two chicks sitting around talking.”

Jade hailed a taxi and Skylar jumped in and was on his way. I didn't even have a chance to kiss him good-bye properly. I missed him already.

Jade and I settled into one of the cavernous booths at Soul Kitchen. The trendy, dimly lighted restaurant always reminded me of Halloween, with its Gothic decor. The food was geared to appeal to health-conscious souls. They didn't cook it to death and it wasn't swimming in grease.

After we placed our orders, I gazed out of the picture windows facing a revitalized Milwaukee Avenue. Jade and I made the usual remarks about how Wicker Park had changed in the last ten years. It had gone from a working class, predominantly Hispanic area, to up-and-coming, and, finally, to the yuppie place to be. Everyone regretted not buying property here ten or fifteen years ago, including me. The average person couldn't even afford a condo in Wicker Park now.
What a difference a decade makes
, I thought.

“So, it seems to be going well between you and Skylar,” Jade said, sipping her beer.

“Yeah, so far, so, good,” I answered cautiously. “Tonight was our fourth date. We haven't gotten hot and heavy yet. I'm still taking Skylar with a grain of salt, just to be safe.”

“You sound like you're waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“Not really; it's just that after you reach a certain age, you're more aware that there
is
another shoe. I mean, I realize that everyone has baggage. I'm not some giddy teenager.”

“You don't have to be a teenager to be giddy,” Jade insisted. “This is the spring of your relationship. It's a magical time. Enjoy it while you can, before you two really get to know each other.” Jade helped herself to the basket of tasty breads.

“Yeah, you're right. I will confess, I have let myself feel hopeful lately.”

“That's good.”

“But sometimes I wonder if I'm being foolish. Haven't you heard that saying, ‘I felt much better once I gave up hope'?”

Jade nodded. “Hope was the last thing to come out of Pandora's box,” she reminded me.

“Yeah, but sometimes I've wondered if hope is really a good thing.”

“That's why it was in Pandora's box.”

“There's nothing worse than dashed hopes.” I pouted.

“So, are you advocating hopelessness?”

“I don't know,” I said, nibbling a piece of organic corn bread. “But I'm toying with it. Many a life has been ruined by great expectations. Blessed is she who has no expectations, because then she won't be disappointed.”

“Yeah, but the greatest risk in life is not to risk anything,” Jade said, with a faraway look in her dark eyes.

“Jade, don't get optimistic on me now. I always thought I could depend on you to be pessimistic in a crunch.”

“I've always tried to maintain a balanced outlook,” Jade protested. “Besides, you're not in a crunch. You're falling in love!”

“I am not falling in love.”

She shook her head and smiled.

“You think I'm falling in love?”

“Yeah, your eyes look brighter. Your whole being is more radiant. And your voice even has a more vibrant quality.”

“Is that all? You're jumping to conclusions,” I insisted.

“I could be wrong, but you appear to be a woman under the influence to me.”

Suddenly, I felt giddy and I knew it was true. I was actually falling in love, like it or not. Sometimes when I was with Skylar, I imagined that we were the only two people in the world. It was like I was floating. My whole body felt tingly. My face felt like it wanted to smile forever, and everything looked brighter. Just thinking about Skylar made me feel one with the neon lights outside the restaurant windows.

“Maybe you're right.” I was unable to keep my mouth from breaking into a grin.

Jade smiled and nodded approvingly. I could tell she had a good feeling about Skylar. That was reassuring. I put a certain amount of stock in her opinions.

“I don't want to jump into anything,” I added, forcing myself to frown. “But I'm willing to take a calculated risk.”

“Well, you know I'm a great believer in balance,” Jade pointed out. “Yin and yang. And, speaking of balance, you may have noticed that we focused on you first for a change.”

“Yeah.” I smiled. “Wonders never cease. I never thought I'd say this, but, enough about me, what about you, Jade?”

Jade cocked her head to one side. “I definitely do have some news. But I will tell you later tonight when we're hanging out at your place. I'd like a little more privacy,” she said, glancing around the crowded restaraunt, just as the waitress appeared with our orders.

“Well, spit it out,” I commanded Jade, once we were holed up in my living room. I handed her a mug of tea. “Don't keep me in suspense any longer.”

Jade blew on the steaming cup, kicked her sandals off and settled back against my leather sofa. She held my cat in her lap with one hand. “Okay. In a nutshell, Yoshi wants to be spanked.”

“Spanked,” I repeated with disbelief, as I spun around in the recliner. Even Langston's ears perked up. I wasn't shocked, because I don't shock that easily. But I was surprised. I quickly tried to equate the quiet, reserved, almost rigid person that I knew to be Jade's husband with someone who wanted to be spanked.

I gulped. “Yoshi wants to be spanked? You're kidding.”

“I was surprised, too,” Jade acknowledged, petting Langston. “But then, when I thought about it, it made sense. I mean, he's a CEO, he has a lot of power. And with that comes a lot of pressure.” She sipped her tea. “Secretly he wants to have less control. Spanking is a way for him to escape all of that pressure and responsibility. It's a relief for him to turn the reins over to someone else.”

“You're right,” I agreed. “It does make sense. It's funny, all this time you've been frustrated, and all your husband needed was a good butt whupping.” I laughed. “I'd like to see them present your story in that women's magazine in that section called ‘Can This Marriage Be Saved?' And the answer would be, yes, the husband just needs his behind beaten.”

“Yoshi doesn't want to be whipped or beaten, just a hand spanking.” Jade rocked my cat like a baby. “Thank goodness he's not into anything heavy.”

“I don't think I want anybody whipping my butt,” I said. “I hated it when I was a child. A hand spanking is a little more understandable, though,” I conceded. “In fact, I wish my parents
had
spanked me. Shoot, that would've been an act of love compared to getting whipped.”

“Well, anyway, I think it's worth it to save my marriage, don't you?”

“Yes, I think so. It's a small price to pay when you consider Yoshi's portfolio. But you've really done an about-face. You were ready to run off with that musician from Arabian Nights.”

“That was before Yoshi shared his feelings with me. Now we have a truly intimate relationship. Some people would call it weird, but I don't give a damn what anybody else thinks about our marriage.”

“What goes on between two consenting adults is nobody else's business.”

“Yoshi would be so humiliated if he knew I was telling anybody this,” Jade said, covering her face with her hand like an embarrassed schoolgirl. “He'd probably want to kill himself,” she added. “His image means everything, you know. Shame is worse than death in some cultures.”

“Yeah, I know. I'm surprised Yoshi even told
you
.”

“I'm sure it was out of desperation. I told Yoshi that I was leaving him because we didn't have any real communication. I said that he'd become like a stranger, and that he never shared his feelings with me. And that's when he just blurted it out to me, that he had this need to be spanked. It was a very powerful moment. Yoshi started crying. He told me he's even paid a dominatrix to spank him a few times.”

“Wow! How did you react?”

“Of course, like I said, I was surprised,” Jade said, shrugging. “Because I had no idea. But I also felt relieved. It was like, maybe there was hope for our relationship after all.” She sighed, sipping her tea. “Actually, I felt closer to Yoshi than I had in a long time. So I just decided to be open.”

“I can understand. You have a lot invested.”

“And to be honest, in a way, it made Yoshi more interesting, less uptight, you know?”

“Yeah, you would never think of him as kinky before.”

“And I'd rather do it to him than have him pay some dominatrix to do it. Yoshi feels the same way. It's not like I'm so into spanking, personally, but …”