I May Be Wrong But I Doubt It (5 page)

Anyway, people all over town in Philly were just killing my ass. And I’m like, “Damn, this is all-out war now. I had no ill will in my heart when I answered that question.” See, this is one of those places where being too uncomfortable to discuss the situation leads directly to misperceptions and hostility. If somebody wanted to open up a discussion about whether people are still offended by an all-black team, fine. In fact, it’s probably a discussion we ought to have today. Seriously, just let people put their thoughts out there so we can all talk about it. We need to talk about issues like that.

But that hurt me to my heart, to have reporters who knew me misrepresent what I said. To turn that into “Charles doesn’t like white people” was totally asinine and just plain wrong. It was mean. It bothered me to wake up the next morning to people calling me a racist, after all the shit I’ve been through down in Alabama. I grew up with my mother and grandmother telling me about the four little girls being killed in that Birmingham church, about the marches and violence in Selma. That really bothered me.

There are times I may joke around and try to lighten the mood when the atmosphere is tense, but not when we’re discussing a specific issue that needs to be talked about. That incident hurt me, and I just kind of laid down the gauntlet. I decided I was going to say what I felt about things, and if they are controversial or unpopular, then so be it. I wasn’t going to become subservient and afraid to speak out about certain things. There might be a few folks who say they want you to speak your mind on certain issues, but most folks don’t want to hear any opinion different from their own or the majority opinion because it’s uncomfortable. It disturbs their comfort level. I guess the bottom line for me became “Screw it, I’m going to do my own thing.”

Luckily, one of the few places where you don’t find much of this shit is the locker room. Of course, guys who play sports have their prejudices, too. We all do. And there are exceptions, but when it comes time to bond together and form a team and play the games, players don’t care what color you are if you can play. One of the reasons sports is so important is that one of the few times people forget about prejudice and bigotry—their own—is when they are dealing with sports or entertainment. They can leave whatever they’re doing, go see a Spike Lee movie like
Do the Right Thing
and cheer like hell. Or go and see Michael Jordan play and cheer like hell, or Tiger. But away from sports or entertainment, their daughter better not bring a young brother home.

But the locker room is safe from most of that stuff because people care about winning so much. I guess it hasn’t been that long since even great players were subjected to it, although I don’t know how much of that stuff came from other players. We know what owners and general managers and athletic directors felt. Can you imagine Hall of Famers having been turned away from certain schools? Oscar Robertson wanted to go to IU, but guys like him and Bob Gibson got turned away from big state schools, rejected because they’re black. Schools were telling them, “Sorry, we can’t have any more in here—we’ve already got our one.”

It was fascinating watching the profiles of some of these guys on ESPN’s
SportsCentury
series. You’d hear how guys were turned away because of race, and a few minutes later you’d see reporters who covered them and historians come on and talk about “how mean these guys were.” I’m sitting there thinking, “They got treated like crap their whole lives. They couldn’t go to their first college of choice because the school wasn’t taking any blacks or maybe taking only one, and people want to know why they are upset or bitter.” They don’t understand that he’s got to be bitter. He ought to be bitter. How could he not be surly? He’d have to be. It’s impossible not to be. “You gotta go around to the back door of the restaurant, to the kitchen, to get something to eat. You can’t stay in the same hotel as your white teammates. And we’re only going to have one of you per team.” What do you expect—they were going to walk into the clubhouse and say, “ ‘Morning, good to see you guys today”?

You have ugly-ass stuff happen to you like that, what the hell you going to have, a smiley face?

I’ve been reading about that brother Donald Watkins from Alabama. He talked about buying the Twins, about buying the Angels. Personally, I’d love to see him involved in some other ownership ventures. Hell, he doesn’t have to go to Minnesota or California either. We could use a guy of his resources right at home in Alabama. It’s a complicated thing because chances are overwhelming that even if the league and owners allow him to buy in, he’s never going to really be made a part of the network. He’ll be an owner, but sadly he would probably never be in the mix. It is a travesty, though, that we’re past the year 2000 and no person of color is the majority owner of a professional sports franchise. That’s crazy.

I don’t want people to think my concerns about race only deal with white people. In fact, I tend to be harder on black people who are prejudiced than white people. If you have suffered as much and as long as black people have suffered . . . If you have fought racism and seen your parents and grandparents fight racism . . . If you know the history of the suffering your own people have been through for hundreds of years and you intentionally mistreat people because of the color of their skin, that’s just really, really sad to me.

And I know that point is complex, too, because resentment and bitterness are natural when you’ve had your ass handed to you generation after generation. You’ve got reason to lash out. But I look at my mother and grandmother, women who saw some really tough times and ugly bigotry, and still managed to treat people based on the way they wanted to be treated.

Not only that, but we as black folks have to do better among ourselves. We treat each other like shit. People hear me sometimes criticizing what we as black folks tend to call “the system” and say, “Man, Charles blames everything that happens to black people on ‘the system.’ “ And “the system” is screwed up, don’t get me wrong. But we still have to treat each other better. Black-on-black crime, teenage pregnancy at the rate it is, single-parent homes increasing at the rate they are . . . we ourselves have to address and solve those problems. Making your situation in society better can’t happen until you start with those problems.

We live in a culture where there’s so much prejudice and bias that people just start directing it anywhere, not just at people who are different but sometimes at their own people. And it’s all sad and ugly. Too damn often, black people aren’t even happy for accomplished black people. Guys talk about it privately among ourselves, and a lot of black people are scared to say anything publicly. But there’s too much envy, which is crazy. There’s enough out there for everybody to grab. Why is there envy?

When I see somebody black on television who is successful, or when I read about somebody or meet somebody who has accomplished something, I’m giddy. I see somebody black achieving something, I’ve got my chest all poked out.

A whole lot of times you feel that way because you know somebody and what they must have gone through to achieve something, regardless of race. But all over the world people feel good for their own people when they accomplish something. But this jealousy you see in black America sometimes, man, it’s ugly and I don’t understand it. I’m just trying to get to the top and send the elevator back down. Ramsey Lewis said that to me a few years ago and I thought it was profound. Getting to the top isn’t the end of the process, it’s the beginning. Make sure the elevator brings up somebody else.

So for some successful black people, you’re caught in between two worlds you don’t seem to fit in. It’s a weird place for most black athletes. Even now, black people are struggling to be successful in America, to get over the hurdles or the misperceptions. A disproportionate number of the highly successful people produced by black communities probably are athletes. So when you get that type of power you have to use it. I don’t think you want to hit people over the head with it, though.

The thing I want to do is pick the battles I want to fight. I don’t want to start World War III every time I’m angry about something. I was willing to fight the role model battle. I’m willing to be in there fighting the battle against racism because it’s so important. But I have to pick the battles that are important to me. We as black people waste time fighting some battles that aren’t worthy, or not as important as some others.

I get asked all the time about the different state flags, like the state flag of South Carolina. I think it should be taken down or changed, so as not to offend anybody. But I’m not going to waste my weekends picketing. The best thing we can do isn’t picketing and it isn’t spending so much time confronting the people who want to keep the flag. The best thing would be to piss them off by being successful and doing well in education and business. That’s something we have a better chance of controlling. I’m more concerned with there still being only a handful of people of color who serve as the head of public relations for professional sports teams, or at the league level. There’s only a sprinkling of black and Hispanic people involved in the industry of sports other than playing. And obviously, there are only a few people of color involved in ownership. I’m more concerned with owning the means of production in certain industries.

I’m not saying I don’t understand why people are upset with state flags that include the Confederate flag. It’s just that those people are not going to change what they feel in their hearts because they take the flag down. I understand the power of symbols, and if I had anything on my house that seriously offended someone, I’d take it down if for no other reason than common courtesy.

I guess everybody picks and chooses certain battles. One of the ones I won’t back away from is the freedom to choose who you want to be with. When you marry outside of your race, as my wife and I did, you get such garbage from people of both races. People say, “Well, your kids will suffer.” Sadly, that’s true. Of course they only suffer because people put their prejudices off on the kids. So yeah, kids suffer because adults are hateful. But even with that, it’s not like my daughter is conflicted about everything in her life every day. She doesn’t wake up in the morning and wonder, “Should I study George Washington or Booker T. Washington?” That’s what I tell people. It’s not a daily struggle. Her life isn’t one big tug-of-war. The only time kids have trouble, whether or not they are the products of interracial marriages, is when people put ignorant shit in their heads.

People should be able to go out and date whoever they want to and it’s nobody’s damn business. And that’s that. I think anybody who disagrees with that basic freedom to associate with, befriend and date whoever you want to is full of shit and has some kind of agenda they need to seriously think about.

Life in the Public Eye

I’ve had plenty of people tell me it appears I enjoy being famous. But I’ve always disagreed with that. It’s that I enjoy meeting people. There are only two ways to go about life if you are famous: enjoy this damn life or be miserable. People say, “Do you enjoy being a celebrity?” And I say, “Not really.” When I was playing I wish I could have played basketball and made a lot of money, period.

When you’re in public life, no matter who you are, you’re either going to learn how to enjoy it, especially meeting people, or be a miserable jerk. A lot of famous people go through their whole lives not wanting to be bothered, with bodyguards hanging around all the time, or staying to themselves. I’ve always thought that wasn’t going to be me. It didn’t seem to be an enjoyable way to go about it. Like Jack Nicholson says, this is as good as it gets. So if you’re successful at something and you become famous for it, that’s as good as it gets. So why walk around moping all the time? That trips me out. And especially if you’re healthy physically and financially and your family and friends are healthy, what the hell is there to mope around and complain about or have all these people trying to shield you from folks?

I don’t enjoy the limelight as much as people might think. You think I want to talk to the press every day or accommodate everybody’s wishes all the time? Hell no. But I’m the luckiest damn guy in the world, and I’m not going to walk around being miserable. I’m going to have fun with this. I just believe in accommodating people whenever possible. It wears you out, having to do it all the time, especially when you’re tired or you have serious things on your mind. But I just believe that signing autographs or posing for pictures with people or sitting and talking with people who want to meet you is all part of what goes with being a public person. I don’t turn people down for autographs unless I’m eating or I’m trying to keep on schedule or there are so many that there’s just no way to sign them all.

It’s an honor to play professional sports for a living. It’s an honor to entertain people or make them feel better or whatever it is they feel when they’re watching you. And it’s an honor to be a celebrity. And I just refuse to stop living my life and enjoying great restaurants or hanging out with friends because I’m a public person.

It’s not as easy as it sounds, because I’ve been arrested I think five or six times for getting into altercations with people in public. But each and every time I’ve been acquitted. I just wish when reporters write or talk about this they would get the whole story and tell it accurately. I have never bothered anybody in public or anywhere else. I’ve never walked up to anybody and initiated anything. Famous people don’t go out to bother people; they go out to do the same things everybody else does. But there’s always some drunk with liquid courage who wants to get some attention or make you notice him or make an ass of himself with the people in your group.

You know what I’m thinking when I see one of these guys? “Hey man, it’s not my fault your damn life sucks, or is so ordinary you’re looking to spice it up by starting trouble with people minding their own business just because you’ve seen them on TV or read about ’em in the newspaper or a magazine. I’m sorry you don’t like your life, but let me enjoy mine.”

The funniest thing of all is after you’ve both been arrested and they have to come to court, they’ve got this look on their faces like, “Oh my God! All of this!” I’ve had a couple of them come to me afterward and say, “You know, I’ve had to do twenty-five interviews. All these reporters were standing outside the courthouse with notebooks and microphones! Man, I’m sorry. I was drunk that night. I didn’t realize what your life was like and how public everything about your life is.” And I’ve said, “No shit, asshole. The next time you go out and see a famous person or some public figure, leave him alone, don’t harass him. Cut out the BS.” Because they have no idea, they don’t understand the stories that are going to be in the press, that reporters will be calling them, how it’s going to look when their lives are exposed to public scrutiny.

I’ve lived my life in the public eye for twenty years, and I know that if I get arrested or something negative happens that it’s a really incredibly big deal. I know on
Headline News
you’ll see a picture of Barkley every eighteen and forty-eight minutes after the hour. And I’ll be the cover story of
USA Today
. But some fool who’s never dealt with all this, who wants to punch you because he’s drunk and he wants to brag to his boys the next day . . . when he sobers up he’s like, “You have to deal with this every day of your life?” I say, “Man, it’s not what you thought it was, is it?” It was a big news story when David Stern told me he wanted me to have a bodyguard, and I understood his concern. But I think it’s easier for a famous person to go relatively incognito, or if not incognito then to just get around more easily if you’re by yourself, with no entourage. I don’t want to think about calling my bodyguard before I go out to do something. I want to put my clothes on, go out and do whatever. I don’t believe in getting the entourage together before you can go out and live your life. I think what happens is the extra attention you draw by having somebody guarding you pisses people off more. And when they’re drunk you’re like a magnet and they’re thinking, “Look at this guy, he thinks he’s a big deal because he’s got his entourage with him.” If I’m by myself there’s less of a commotion.

The funny thing is, I’m not some asshole who goes around beating up people. Anybody who has spent any time with me knows I meet a million people, and I’ve had a problem that became a serious problem with five or six crazy people.

A long time ago, I adopted what I call the 50-50 rule: no matter what you do in your life, 50 percent of the people are going to like it and 50 percent will dislike it. . . . If you’re out there and you miss a putt or miss a free throw with the game on the line, half the people are going to sympathize with you and the other half are going to say, “That sorry bastard choked like a dog!” In Philly, after a game I’d have 500 people standing and waiting for me. I’ve got dinner reservations and family members or guests waiting for me. If I sign 250 autographs, 250 hate my ass. You can sit there for an hour, hungry and ready to go to dinner and being rude to your family or friends, and you can’t please everybody.

Seriously, I get a thousand requests a week. And I try to do three to five things every week, and some of them take hours. But the people you can’t accommodate, a lot of them get really angry, which reminds me that no matter how much you do, a lot of people are going to be upset. Even if you signed a thousand autographs every day you couldn’t please everybody.

That’s why I say, “I’m going to do my own thing, say what I want to say, take stands I feel like taking even if they’re unpopular.”

E-mail, telephone and alcohol are the three primary ways people get brave. People come up to you after a couple of drinks and want to tell you what to say. And I tell them, “It’s okay to tell me you disagree with me, but don’t ever tell me what I can say and not say.”

But even with that being a downside, I enjoy the vast majority of the people I meet. I’ve had so many rewarding experiences, some of them from chance meetings, some from people just coming up and introducing themselves and wanting to talk about common experiences or something. I’m not going to let a tiny percentage of people stop me from enjoying that. I knew pretty early on that I was going to be in control as much as possible. I always say that I played basketball, it didn’t play me. But fame plays you. You’re only famous because somebody’s making money off you. You can’t control what anybody else does. You’ve got to make sure you make and keep your money, and otherwise try to live your life to the fullest extent that you want to. Some people aren’t that extroverted, but I am. I want to enjoy myself, as well as the people I come into contact with because it’s such a great life, why wouldn’t I?

That’s one of the things that I find funny when people say my life isn’t complete because I didn’t win an NBA championship. I have to laugh because with the exceptions of maybe Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan, I don’t think I’d trade places with anybody. And I don’t even think I’d trade places with them, because the attention and inconvenience they have to put up with are several times more than mine.

Anyway, what else in life could I need when my life is pretty unbelievable already?