I Need You: A Valentine's Anthology (8 page)

“That sounds nice. I hope Zerrin likes it.”

Zerrin briefly mentioned on her questionnaire she was interested in
wax play
and wanted to at least try it to see how much she liked it. Nick had every intention of fulfilling her fantasy. “I certainly hope so, too.”

Three

She felt empowered. Had she ever felt like this before? Not in a long time.

The last time she’d felt like this was long before her life now, when she was in college and partying it up. Did she feel empowered then? Maybe, though she could admit when a person had enough liquor in them, the imaginary muscles and a false sense of confidence and
boldness
comes out, making anyone feel like they’re the Incredible Hulk.

Intelligence was powerful. Educating other women on their bodies and sexuality, letting them know it was okay to feel sexy and confident and be in control of their womanhood and orgasms, made her feel like she was a queen.

Well, she was in someone’s eyes. There was no doubt that Zerrin D’Amato was the queen of Nick’s universe.

He’d given her a sense of purpose she hadn’t had before and it made her feel... sexy. Her walk had a bit more swag in it than before. Her smile was bigger and brighter. Her eyes twinkled with a newfound interest and curiosity about life and what it had to offer.

Of course, she’d her Master/husband to thank. While BDSM was the latest
new shiny toy
in popular culture, Zerrin knew the truth. Those who lived it and breathed it didn’t treat it like a fad but, rather, embraced it as a lifestyle; some even doing it 24/7 like she and Nick. There were no off-days, no breaks; it was all or nothing.

So, it gave her a smile that she was offered to do a guest lecture at USC on BDSM and female sexuality. She spent several weeks trying to come up with an eye-catching title to make people want to come hear what she had to say. It was a conversation with her sister-in-law, Faith, regarding the current state of her marriage to Eli that made Zerrin
decide on a final title:

Power of the Pussy: An exploration on female sexuality and BDSM.

If she could change the perspective of just
one
person, Zerrin felt she did her job. “Now is the time for questions,” Zerrin took off her glasses and put them in her blazer, “I’m sure there are a lot of them.”

A young female raised her hand. “I don’t understand why any woman would like to be bound and gagged? I mean, what is sexy about being treated like cattle?”

“Well, let’s look at your perspective,” Zerrin offered, “do you like it when your lover takes control in the bedroom?”

The female student squirmed a little in her seat as others commented and chuckled around her. “I suppose so, but he’s not barking orders at me, telling me to call him
Master
and all that stuff.”

“But you like to be dominated, right? You just admitted you like it when he takes charge, correct? What is different from what you admitted to what you think of BDSM?” Zerrin smiled. “You’re not giving your control when you want him to dominate, correct? You want him to make you feel alive and wanted before, during, and after. That is where BDSM helps women. You may think some women are being treated like property and cattle, but there are many women who feel wanted, sexy, and empowered... as if they’re finding their voice and calling. Many women in BDSM lead very productive lives and have no self-esteem issues.”

“They only need guidance from someone to help them bring out the freak,” another female added.

“They need guidance,” Zerrin repeated and nodded.

Another female raised her hand. “My boyfriend and I participate in BDSM and trust me; he doesn’t treat me like Betsy the Cow, or disrespect me in any way. That’s the biggest misrepresentation of BDSM. Everyone thinks a woman who wants to be dominated, wants to be violated.”

“But why do you want a man to hit you?” Another woman asked. “I just don’t see what’s so hot about a man slapping you and telling you to call him Master? I thought we were past slavery!”

“Because you’re thinking of it as a violent act. She’s very much in control of what happens between us. If she tells me to stop, I stop. There are no questions, no begging for another chance. I merely facilitated her needs and desires.” A male student answered. “She’s not being oppressed and I’m not holding her against her will. It’s very much consensual. Think about all the times you’ve been in bed and a guy has pulled your hair or spanked your ass. Guess what? That’s BDSM and you probably didn’t realize you were doing it at the time.”

“Hell, I wouldn’t mind calling
you
Master!” Another female responded to the male student amidst laughter.

Zerrin smiled. “Are there any more questions?”

“Do you practice BDSM?” Another student asked.

Zerrin’s eyes fluttered with happiness and a small smile spread across her lips. “Yes, I do. I’ve been in a consensual BDSM relationship for the past several years now.”

“Your husband?” The student pointed to Zerrin’s ring.

“And he’s my Master,” Zerrin added, “He’s also the father of my son.”

“Does he tell you what to do?” Another student asked.

“He gives me direction. For example, every day, I have to list five good things about my day no matter how bad my day was. He says there’s a blessing somewhere in there and He’s correct. I also have to list what I’m thankful for to remind me of my blessings.”

“Wait a minute...” A female shook her head. “I thought BDSM was just sex?”

“Sex is a small part of BDSM but it’s not all of it.” Zerrin clarified. “It starts with the mind before it moves to the body.”

“It sure does,” the male student commented to more looks and whispers from the audience.

“Is your husband/Master here tonight?” A student asked.

“Yes, he is,” Zerrin beckoned to Nick, who entered the lecture hall. His appearance immediately caused gasps and more whispers among the female attendees. Dressed in a sweater-vest, jeans, and black frames on his face, Nick fulfilled every woman’s hot nerdy guy fantasy. “This is my husband, Professor Nicholas D’Amato of NYU.”

“Fuck, he can spank me any damn time he wants!” A female attendant said loudly to laughter and ‘
Amens’.

“Are there any more questions? If not, that’s all I have. I thank you all for coming out tonight on this romantic day of the year. Be safe out there tonight.”

After a few private questions, Zerrin packed up her belongings and left the hall. “So, how did I do, Master?”

“You did wonderful,
tesero
,” Nick smiled. “You did really well tonight. A bit of a tough crowd for you.”

“Meh,” Zerrin shrugged, “anyone who doesn’t understand the lifestyle won’t get it. I blame the mainstream media and gossip-mongers for teaching otherwise.”

“It’s not for everyone,” Nick walked with his wife down the corridor. “People have it in their minds what BDSM is about; that those who practice it are sexual deviants who probably drink virgin blood and sacrifice babies. I blame it on the religious foundations this country has. Everything had to be pure and chaste; anything that differentiated from that was considered evil and wrong. If everyone liked blue and I just happened to like yellow, all of a sudden I have some sort of wicked spirit inside me and I was immediately outcast. It still happens today but just in other extreme forms.”

Zerrin stopped walking and Nick followed. “Why are you so damn smart and sexy?” She pulled him in for a long kiss.

Nick smiled. “Mama didn’t raise a fool.”

“
Mmm... she sure didn’t.” Zerrin’s eyes sparkled.

“Let’s get out of here,” Nick took her hand and they began walking again, “we have a long night ahead of us.”

“And what are we doing tonight, Sir?” Zerrin asked.

“Hmm... well, give me a number between one and ten.”

“Hmm...” Zerrin gave her answer some serious thought. “...five.”

Nick stopped walking and turned to his wife. “Five?”

“Five.” Zerrin stated with authority. “Five, Sir.”

“Hmm...” Nick pushed back Zerrin’s long braids and kissed her. “Either someone wants to get pregnant again or she doesn’t want to walk tomorrow.”

“Both?”

Nick smiled and pressed Zerrin’s body against his. His hardened cock pressed into the
vee of her thighs and if he could, he would’ve taken her right there in the hallway. He knew the trip back to the hotel would be worth the wait so he bid his time carefully. “I’m going to fuck you so hard, you’re going to forget your safeword.”

Four

The most dangerous place a person can be is alone with his thoughts.

Zerrin read that quote somewhere, a long time ago when she was doing her thesis. She’d remembered how she felt when she was studying, up at all hours of the night; writing and rewriting her paper just to make sure the thoughts in her head sounded the same on paper. Now once again, she was alone in her solitude, dissecting her thoughts.

What was He doing?

What was He going to do?

Was it going to hurt?

Did she want it to hurt?

Shh... tesero
,
shh...

It was going to be a different night. Her Master promised her a special night because of the holiday and she wondered what He had in mind. They went out to dinner at a very nice restaurant, followed by a stroll down Santa Monica pier, where they studied the stars and talked about everything under the moon. The driver dropped them off back at their hotel and upon entering the hotel, Nick blindfolded Zerrin and led her back to their hotel room. He then told Zerrin assume the position, awaiting his further instruction.

There Zerrin was, kneeling on the floor with her eyes downcast. Her hands were behind her back as she awaited His instruction. She used the quiet time to calm her mind and prepared herself for that evening’s play scene.

It was quiet.
Too quiet. She could hear her thoughts, screaming at her and feverishly tried to silence each of them one by one.

It was deathly quiet. She could hear the leaky faucet in the hotel room, and the soft buzz of the air conditioner through the vents, making her cold nipples hard.

It was eerily quiet. If it wasn’t for the fact she could occasionally hear Him grunt and curse under His breath as He finished His work, she wouldn’t know He was in the room.

“You may remove the blindfold,
tesero
.” Nick instructed.

Zerrin removed the blindfold and was stunned by what she saw. Candles were lit everywhere and soft R&B music played in the background. Zerrin looked around the room for a short while before her eyes landed on the stripped down king bed with restraints at the head and foot.

It was completely covered in saran wrap. She was going to have a talk with Tony when they got back to New York.

Her attention turned to the end tables, which had several metallic pots and burners. Zerrin bit back her fear as she wondered what was in the pots. It was clearly something she had never done before and while she considered herself adventurous and willing to try most things, a part of her was quite apprehensive about a few things.

Fear of the unknown.

Nick had always surprised her when it came to the
play scenes
, though there were times Zerrin did wonder what in the blue hell he was thinking. This was one of those times.

Her eyes searched for Nick and found him in the corner, sitting in a chair and watching her. His blue eyes sparkled like the ocean and a slow smile formed on his lips, confident in his ability to surprise her.

“May I speak, Sir?” Zerrin asked.

“You may,” Nick nodded.

“What is this?”

“You mentioned a long while ago how you wanted to try
wax play
.” Nick got up from his chair and stood directly in front of Zerrin, his crotch at eye level with her. “I’m here to fulfill your fantasy.”

“You’re going to paint me, Sir?” Zerrin smiled.

“Like the beautiful canvas that you are,” Nick held out a hand and Zerrin grabbed it, steadying herself. He led her to the different burners and Zerrin saw the wax boiling and bubbling inside the pots.

She could blame mainstream society and all of those soft-core pornos she had seen on late-night Cinemax, convincing everyone that hot wax was
taboo
and
kinky
. The couple would
ooh
and
ahh
as they poured wax on each other and the woman always arched her back and pursed her lips as if the hot wax dripping down on her lulu was the
greatest thing ever.

Maybe she was a little apprehensive; the wax looked hot and she was afraid the pain might be too much to bear. She then remembered Nick would never intentionally hurt her unless it was something she’d specifically asked.

“Undress,” Nick ordered.

Zerrin stepped back and Nick sat in a chair across from her, studying her movements.
She began to undress herself following the protocol her Master set for her. She slowly undid her blouse and carefully folded it before placing it on the chair next to her. Then she undid her skirt and pulled it down her hips until it pooled at her feet. She carefully folded that and placed it under the blouse.