I Remember (Remembrance Series) (13 page)

“Whatever you need to do to make yourself more comfortable, we can do it,” Mom said, reassuringly.

“I don’t want to overstep my welcome or cause any problems. You can charge me rent and I can help out with the groceries and bills,” I offered.

“We will see how things go. Let’s not worry about it, now. I am just happy I have you to lean on.”

“Me, too.” Tears started forming at the corners of my eyes.

I wanted to change the subject. “Why don’t we put the food up, watch some television, and relax the rest of the evening?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Would you mind if I give Gregory a quick call to thank him?”

“Not at all.”

After I was sure mom was settled in her recliner and doing fine watching a comedy show, I went to my room and called Gregory.

“Are you mad at me?” His voice was fearful.

“I probably should be, but I am actually thankful. My mother wanted me to express her gratitude for what you did. I would like to convey mine, as well. You didn’t need to do all this! I am curious as to why?”

“Because I know how I felt when I lost my grandmother. We were quite close; not nearly as close as you and your father, but still, the loss hurt. I can only imagine what you are going through.” There was sorrow in Gregory’s voice.

“I’m sorry for your loss. How recent was it?”

“A week before we started talking on the computer.”

“I wish I had known, I would have expressed my condolences to you.”

“You already had your own problems to contend with. I didn’t want to burden you with mine.”

“Still, I wish you would have told me. By the way, how did you know what my favorite foods are?”

“Jordan, we share so much in common. It never ceases to amaze me how we think alike. We have the same answers to questions. I figured it was only natural to take a chance that we would like the same foods, too. How close was I?”

“If this were a test, you would have scored a perfect score of 100.”

“Really?” Gregory sounded pleased and surprised.

“Yes. The food is delicious, though you sent way too much. How can we ever repay you?”

“I am sorry about that. I questioned whether I was ordering enough or not; so I decided to go with a large variety.

We hardly ate anything yesterday and have not taken the time, nor felt much like eating until your food arrived. The smells were so enticing that our stomachs rebelled and demand food.” I laughed.

“Did you try to rest any this afternoon? I have been worried about you since you called.” His voice was laced with concern.

“I tried. But every time I closed my eyes, I had nightmares and re-lived this morning’s events. I know this is going to sound weird, but usually when I have nightmares, I am comforted by a pair of arms and a soothing voice in my dreams.” His breathing caught. I continued. “I guess my dreams were too strong for that today, because there was no comfort.

“I ended up taking a walk downtown, hoping the spring air would help clear my head and the walk would tire me out. I felt a little better afterward, but when I got back home the phone started ringing and we kept getting deliveries at the door.”

I wanted so badly to tell him it was his voice that comforted me in my dreams, but he probably wouldn’t understand.

“I sometimes have nightmares, too,” he admitted. ”Every once in a while, I hear a soothing whisper in my ear and all of the chaos seems to melt away.”

“Really?”
How odd that we shared this similarity, as well.

“Jordan, you know what I wish?”

“What?”

“That our paths had crossed earlier, so I would have met your father and I could be there for you and your mother, now.” His statement was very sincere.

“I do, too. I sometimes wonder if I am not driving you further away with everything that has happened.”

“I would be there, right now, if you would let me! I find the way you think, the way you feel about things and your devotion to your family, truly amazing. You have captivated my attention and I have never had such a strong desire to know someone in my life.”

“I feel the same way about you. I sometimes wish I had listened to my friends and posted the ad, earlier. They actually started bugging me about six months ago and I only recently gave in.”

“Gregory, when would you like me to return the phone, since we are past the crisis point?”

“Let me ask this, first; have you decided if you are going to stay with your mom?”

“We talked about it, tonight. She finally admitted she could use my assistance; so I plan on being here until both our hearts have healed some.”

“Does that mean you will look for work there or will you still commute?” The last part of his question was asked with hesitation.

“The job I am currently training for is an excellent opportunity for me. It will lead into management if I stay where I am, so I’ll be commuting. There is not a lot of work here.”

“I understand. But I still don’t like the idea of you driving in such heavy traffic every day. I would prefer you keep the phone, for now. I’m in no hurry to get it back and at least this way I can talk to you or text you whenever I want.” His reasoning reminded me of my dad.

“Are you sure about this? I can always go get another phone.”

“Don’t be silly. This is an extra line that all employees get for free. I have no use for it, so it’s yours for now. If need it back, I will let you know.”

“Do you know how to use all the functions? If not, I would be happy to show you.”

“A couple of my friends at work have similar phones and they showed me what I need to know. Why? Are you trying to create an opportunity to meet?”

He laughed. “Guilty as charged.”

“I appreciate your attempt. Very slick. But, I need to get through the next several days and find time to grieve. Then I need to head back to work and sort out my new work schedule.”

“I should get off the phone and let you rest, he said. Hopefully, you can get a decent night’s sleep, tonight; and maybe sleep in, tomorrow.

“I’m sorry if it seemed that I was pushing to meet, right away. I just want to be there for you, Jordan. I know you are going through a lot right now. Truthfully, I don’t know how you have been able to keep up with your schedule this long without falling over.

“I guess what I am trying to say is: when you feel, in your heart, that the timing is right, let me know. Until then, we will always have this.”

His voice was so soothing and reassuring over the phone. That same voice that soothed me in my dreams.

“Why do you sometimes call me Sweetie and Darling?” I asked, smiling.

“Sorry. It just feels so natural talking to you, like I have known you forever. I’ll try to just stick to just Jordan.”

“I’m flattered. I guess it is okay to call a friend, Sweetie.”
But how would I know? I didn’t have many guy friends.

“I’m sorry, Gregory, but I do need to go.”

“Please tell your mother that I’m so sorry for her loss and that it was my pleasure to help with the food.

“Sweet dreams, my darling….” The phone disconnected.

I stared at the clock in disbelief. It was already after 10.
I’ve lost all concept of time.

I was comforted by my talk with Gregory but disheartened that I had left my mother alone for so long when she needed me.

I heard the soft sounds of snoring coming from my mother, asleep in the recliner. I turned the television channel to the news to see what the temperature would be overnight. The weatherman predicted a chilly morning, so the heat would be needed.

I didn’t have the heart to wake mom from her slumber and I couldn’t leave her to sleep in the family room, alone. So, I decided to crash on the sofa in hopes that having her nearby might give me a chance to get some sleep, too.

I placed a blanket over her, careful not to wake her. Then put a pillow at the end of the sofa, where I could fall asleep watching television. I grabbed the remote and lowered the volume, slightly. Then I laid it down and curled up with my own blanket.

I was scared to fall asleep. I knew my heart would feel the hurt and loss even more, if I allowed my guard down. But, exhaustion finally won out and I drifted into unconsciousness.

As I feared, the nightmare that had become my reality was displayed before me. My father gasping his last breath, before his life source faded.

I was paralyzed with fear, but before I could scream out, I felt his arms wrap around me. I felt his warm breath on my neck, as he whispered in my ear.
“Calm down, Jordan. There is no need to worry. You are not alone in this. We will get through this, together. I am here for you.”

It was definitely, without a doubt, Gregory’s voice in my ear!

For the first time, I did not hear the demonic voice in the darkness. Instead, I felt peace and tranquility. The luminous light of dreams past ghosted toward me and placed its hand on mine. I looked up and saw my father’s face. He looked peaceful and happy. His words were simple,
“Remember that I love you and will always be with you!”

I was not expecting his words and felt myself silently sobbing. The arms encircling me loosened and his hands rubbed up and down my back, in a soothing manner. Then, unexpectedly, my father looked at him and laying a hand upon his forearm, said,
“Please take extra care of my daughter. Keep her safely hidden from the darkness. Help her to reach your shared destiny.”

His embrace prevented me from turning around; but with my peripheral vision, I caught the profile of the person who was comforting me. It was Gregory!

He smiled at my father.
“I care a great deal for your daughter, Sir. I promise to protect her with my life.”

My father smiled and faded away. I tried to go after him, panicked that I would never visualize him, again. But, I was still held in his tight embrace.
“Don’t worry. Your dad is still watching over you. He will live in your heart, forever.”

Peacefulness surrounded me with a calming effect. He held me gently and securely at his side. I could feel and hear every breath he took. The warmth of his face, resting against mine, made my heart skip a beat.

I stayed like this, secure in his arms, for the remainder of the night.

I bolted upright from the sofa, nearly falling on the floor. I didn’t realize I had rolled right to the edge. Mom was quick to react and grabbed my shoulders, pushing me back before I could fall. “Don’t worry, Jordan. It’s just the doorbell.”

I got up and followed her, groggily, to the door, noticing she had already showered and changed while I was still asleep.

It was Aunt Melinda and Uncle Tom.
Were they early?
Then I noticed how bright it was outside and glanced over at the clock on the wall. It was one o’clock in the afternoon!

We greeted them with hugs and helped them with their luggage. Mom decided to let them have her bedroom, since our guest room was a mess, and would share mine until after they left.

“Mom, I am so sorry I slept so long. I didn’t mean to. I should be doing more for you.”

“Don’t worry about it, Jordan. I only woke up about an hour before you. We were both at the point of collapse.” She gave me a gentle squeeze. “Thank you for adjusting the thermostat and getting me some cover last night. What time did you finally decided to try and rest?”

“I think it was close to midnight. I’m sorry for talking so long with Gregory and leaving you by yourself.”

“I barely remember you saying you were going to call him. I think I was out as soon as I leaned back in the recliner; that’s how tired I was. Did you manage to get a restful sleep?” She patted me on the back as we walked towards the kitchen.

“Somewhat, though not entirely, I kept having visions of Dad.” My voice was very shaky and filled with sadness.

“I know, Dear, I had the same problem. I do feel rested though, compared to yesterday.” Her eyes looked like they were about ready to overflow. “It is just going to take time for us to adjust and heal. The hurt will lesson with time, but the love will last, forever.”

“I know.”

“Feeling hungry, yet?” She was quick to change the subject and I was thankful for that.

Aunt Melinda and Uncle Tom joined us in the kitchen. Tom asked, “Is there anything help you with, Marilyn?”

“Have either of you eaten, yet?”

Aunt Melinda spoke up, “No we haven’t. What do you need us to do?”

The two of them worked together like an assembly line, getting all the food that Gregory had sent over out and ready.

I went into the bathroom to freshen up. I almost didn’t recognize myself in the mirror. I had dark circles under my eyes from a lack of sleep and my hair was all over the place, apparently from tossing about last night. I splashed cool water on my face, to get the sleep out of my eyes, before returning to the help everyone in the kitchen.

We sat around the dining room table and ate our lunch in an eerie silence. Finally, Aunt Melinda asked, “This food is delicious. Where did you get it?”

Mother’s voice was very sincere and appreciative as she explained Gregory’s generosity.