I See...Love (A Different Road Book 1) (17 page)

“He did,” she replies.

“Nina, I’m so sorry! I don’t know what I was thinking…” I start to say.

Nina and I have yet to talk about what happened. After I took a cab home from River’s building, I did my walk of shame straight to my bedroom and hid. I eventually fell asleep, but when I woke up is when I started to get sick. It’s not like she doesn’t know what we did without me telling her. She just doesn’t know about the whole sex hair walk of shame in his place of business.

“You don’t need to apologize to me…” she starts.

“Nina, I can’t apologize to River. I just can’t!” I tell her.

“That’s not what I was going to say. You don’t need to apologize to me at all about anything that happened with you and River. I have no room to talk. I didn’t exactly share what happened with Josh. And I kind of feel responsible. I think maybe I pushed you a little too hard when I was helping you get ready for your date. Or, your
non date, I want to make it up to you dinner
,” she says.

“This is going to be a big hit to our business. We just hired on Maddy, too. We can’t fire her. There’s something about her and I feel like she needs to be here. I’ll just take on more catering and private party jobs,” I tell her.

“You don’t have to do that,” she says.

“I don’t?” I reply.

I’d even be willing to dress up like a clown and host kid parties if I have to. That’s how much I really don’t want to let Maddy go.

“Actually, River fired us even before you left the house this morning. Remember when I said we got an email marked urgent?” she asks.

“Yes, it was to tell us that he needed to reschedule, right? He wasn’t home when I got there, so I just let myself in and cooked for him anyway,” I admit.

“You did!” she says, bugging out her eyes.

“I did,” I confirm.

“Well, I guess it was a good thing. Because before you even got home, we got another email saying that we are hired back and that he’ll be doubling his orders,” she says.

“I was half expecting that he was going to be increasing his order,” I tell her.

“How did you know that?” she asks.

“I’m pretty sure he’s moved in a girlfriend. There were all sorts of strange foods in his kitchen and empty moving boxes in his backyard,” I tell her.

“That’s strange. I haven’t read anything in the tabloids about River getting a girlfriend. As a matter of fact, he’s never had a girlfriend. It would be big news if that happened. Are you sure?” she asks.

“I’m positive,” I reply. “Can we have Maddy cook for him?” I continue.

“That’s not a good idea,” she says.

“I know. It’s wishful thinking. Now I’ll be cooking for someone I once slept with and his girlfriend. That’s just fabulous,” I say, and unload the items out of the cooler bags that need to go in the refrigerator.

The rest of the week as I get more and more of my strength back, I talk myself into believing that I can be an adult. If he can be an adult and we can both pretend that nothing ever happened, that would be amazing. But day after day as I tell myself that, thoughts keep slipping to how gentle yet in command he was when he made love to me. I’m not sure that I’ll be able to pull this off. Right?

His scheduled day rolls around again, and sure enough, he ordered way more food than he normally does, including Eggplant Parmesan, if that isn’t a slap in the face. I contemplated leaving the nutmeg out just to be a bitch, but in the end at the last second, I threw it into my bag. I can’t be that cruel to the Eggplant Parmesan.

I pull into his driveway, and to my relief, there’s no car there. River and Josh aren’t here.

I unload my bags and let myself into his house. The first thing I do is check the refrigerator. To my surprise, there’s no junk food in there at all. In fact, there is more health food in there than normal. I guess his new concubine didn’t work out after all. I guess his next order will go back to just him and Josh after this week. I smile to myself, dig my earbuds out of my bag and get to work. I get a little swagger going on as I prep all of his meals. Maybe I can do this. Who am I kidding? If he were to walk in the door right this second, I’m sure I’d melt into a puddle of goo on the spot.

I glance out the back wall of glass doors just in time to catch a glimpse of a thin, brunette bombshell wearing a string bikini, dive into River’s pool. My heart instantly sinks. He didn’t get rid of his concubine, and she’s here. Be professional Joss, just be professional.

I go back to cooking, a little faster than before, but I go back to cooking. Just as I get the last meal prepped, one of the glass doors in the back opens. Brunette bombshell comes walking in wearing a killer pair of stylish sunglasses. She’s very fit, and thin, and gorgeous, and tall, and tan. And did I mention that even her splash she made when she dove into the pool was cute. She’s the exact person I’d imagine who
should be
on River’s arm. Her eyes come to mine and a beautiful smile graces her perfect, straight, white teeth. I take out my earbuds and return the best smile I can muster up.

“You must be Jocelyn,” she says, in a sweet voice.

Oh, my God, River told his new girlfriend about me! He surely wouldn’t have told her that we slept together, right? She walks over to the fridge and takes out a health drink.

“It’s just Joss,” I tell her.

“Oh, I’m sorry. River said that Jocelyn would be stopping by today to cook. It smells amazing in here by the way. River’s gone on and on about your cooking since the day I moved in here. But I could have sworn he said your name was Jocelyn.”

“It’s Joss Lynn Meyer,” I tell her.

“Isn’t that what I said, Jocelyn?” she says, confused.

“No, my first name is Joss, just Joss. My middle name is Lynn. It sounds like Jocelyn when you say them together real fast, but really if you say them separate it sounds totally different. See…Joss Lynn versus Jocelyn,” I tell her, like an idiot.

Shut up, Joss, you’re making a really big fool of yourself. Figures he’d tell her my name is Jocelyn.

Bastard.

“I do hear the difference. How funny! It’s so beautiful outside. I could swim in River’s pool all day. I still can’t believe he moved me in here,” she says, then takes a big drink of the dark green liquid she took out of the refrigerator.

I quickly get back to finishing up, then start to clean up so I can get the hell out of here. Just as I shove the last thing in my bag, the front door opens and both River and Josh walk in.

Damn it!

I was so close to getting out of here!

River takes a big inhale through his nose, then that killer smile I love so much graces his handsome face.

“Hi, River,” brunette bombshell says, and then she kisses him on the cheek.

Well, wasn’t that an icy welcome home. If River were my man, I’d give him a proper wet one smack dab on the lips when he came home.

I zip up my bag as brunette bombshell hoists herself up on top of the counter right next to me.

River walks up to me and cages me into the counter. What the hell is he doing? His girlfriend is sitting right next to me. She’s so close I could move my hand an inch and I’d be touching her tan, skinny thigh. The front of his body gently presses against my back, then his face comes to the side of my head and he takes another deep inhale through his nose. I can feel the blood rising up to my cheeks in both embarrassment and anger.

“Nutmeg,” he whispers in my ear.

I tap him gently with my ass to get him to move away from me. His erection hidden in his pants hits the crack of my ass, and I take in a sharp breath of my own. I glance at brunette bombshell and her eyes practically bug out of her head, but then she gets a devilish smile on her face.

“River, your girlfriend is right there,” I remind him.

“Girlfr…,” he begins, then graces me with another killer grin.

Brunette bombshell takes her own deep inhale, then she opens her mouth to say something, but River cuts her off.

“Quiet,” he orders, looking at bombshell.

And I thought he talked to me like I was a dog. That was downright rude. Josh chuckles behind River, and I don’t find any of this funny. How does bombshell and Josh find any of this remotely funny?

“Look, I don’t think any of this is funny. And I find it completely insulting and rude to both me and…” I begin to say, then look at bombshell.

Then I realize I don’t even know brunette bombshell’s name. River moves away from me, then picks up brunette bombshell off the counter. She wraps her arms around his neck and she kisses him on the cheek again, then he sets her on the floor.

“Kate, go ahead back into the pool. I’ll join you in a few minutes,” River says.

“I don’t think this is going to work out at all…” I again begin to say.

Wait? Did he just call her Kate? His girlfriend and his sister’s names are both Kate? Man, I bet that can get confusing around the holidays. Wait? Is this his sister? I look back at River and he can’t control the pull of his smile. Josh either. He’s about to bust a gut laughing. Great, so now I’m the butt of the joke at my own expense. Then I see the striking family resemblance. Of course, she’s his sister.

“I’ll see you next week,” I say, grab my bag and head toward the front door.

“Bye, Joss, it was really nice to meet you,” Kate calls from the back of the house.

I speed walk toward my van with River just steps behind me.

“Joss, wait,” he says.

His words make my legs stop and my heart sinks to my feet.

“I’d like to talk about what happened. I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner, but it’s been crazy getting Kate settled in,” he says.

Now I feel guilty. He wasn’t ignoring me just for the sake of ignoring me. I wonder what’s going on with his sister. I’ve never heard anything about her. It’s like they’ve kept her locked away in a secret tower or something.

“I’ve been sick, it wouldn’t have mattered. I’m just now coming back to work,” I tell him, and put my hand on the door handle of my van.

“You’ve been sick? Are you alright now?” he questions, with concern.

“I have to go to my next client,” I tell him, ignoring his questions and I open the door to my van.

“Joss, can I talk to you about this, please,” he says, as I close the door.

I start the van and back out of his driveway. I don’t even know why I’m behaving this way. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard him say please before, to anyone. That earlier mentioned goo, I’m surprised it didn’t kick in when he said it. We should talk about what happened. I’m sure he’ll just say that it can’t ever happen again and that it was a big mistake. And he’s right, it can’t ever happen again, but I can’t agree that it was a mistake. How I feel, how I felt when he made love to me, it wasn’t a mistake. It felt like what I have been waiting for my whole life.

“Josh, take me to follow Joss. I need to talk to her and settle this right now,” I tell him, coming back into the house.

We get in my car and he follows Joss to her next client’s house. Josh parks the car and I get out. I wait by the door for him to come get me. He walks me over to Joss and I can tell immediately that she’s pissed by the way she’s tapping her foot on the ground.

“How dare you come to a client’s house? Are you trying to get me fired?” she whisper yells.

“I’ll pay for it if you do,” I say.

That was the wrong thing to say.

“That’s the problem with you, River. You can’t always pay or buy your way to get what you want,” she says.

That stung. She’s wrong though, I don’t always pay for what I want. Most of the time people give me both what I want and what I don’t want, just so I can be seen with it to boost their sales.

“Go home, River,” she says, and then starts to walk away.

I grab her around the arm, then immediately soften my hold on her. I pull her to my body and her intoxicating smell of nutmeg weakens me. I’m not weak. I can’t have her. I let her go and ball my hands into fists.

“Take me home, Josh,” I say, then turn around and start to walk back toward the car.

“That’s it?” she yells. “You’re just going to leave. Damn it, you’re so confusing,” she continues.

She stomps back toward me and stops in front of me. Josh pulls my arm to get me to stop.

“What is it with you? You’re hot one minute, then cold the next. It’s like your body wants me and your heart wants me, but your head is telling you something different,” she says.

That hit the proverbial nail right on the head. I do want her. I do want to be with her. As much as I try to fight it, she makes me happy. As much as I tell myself not to, she makes me smile. I find myself thinking about her all day, every day. The way her body felt on mine, the way her voice filters away my dark thoughts and replaces them with happiness. It’s all so strange and new to me. But, I can’t have her. I won’t do what my father did to my mother, I can’t.

“Joss, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into with me,” I tell her.

“No, I don’t. But isn’t that what dating is all about. Getting to know someone,” she says.

“You don’t want to know me.”

“Why did you come here then? Just so you could have the last word?” she asks.