I Will Always Love You

Chapter 1

Chicago
,
May 1991

I cannot believe that I am sitting in a psychiatrist’s office. Do they really
think that I am crazy
?
M
elissa thought to herself as she looked around the
fashionably decorated waiting room of Dr. Foster’s psychiatric practice.
Melissa saw the abstract paintings on the wall and couldn’t help but think of
all the trips she took with her parents and sister to various art galleries and

museums in the states and Europe. She noted that she was the only patient in
the waiting room. She wasn’t sure if it was a good
sign
or bad sign of Dr. Foster’s
ability.

Melissa absently flipped through a magazine as she waited to be called in
for her first appointment.
I don’t even know why I’m here
, she thought.
I’m
just a normal twenty-four year old.

“Melissa Newman,” the receptionist called.

Melissa stood and put the magazine in the rack with a heavy sigh. As she
turned toward the receptionist, she put a smile on her face to try to hide her
nervousness. “That’s me,” she said.

“Please follow me,” the receptionist said as she returned Melissa’s smile.
The receptionist guided Melissa into a plush office. “You can have a seat.
Dr. Foster will be with you in a moment.”

“Thank you,” Melissa murmured as she took a seat in front of the
mahogany desk and watched the big door close behind her. She looked
around the office and noted that the doctor had almost the same leather
furnishings that were in her father’s office. At the thought of her father,
Melissa couldn’t help but feel a pang in the pit of her stomach.
Dad didn’t want me coming here and airing any dirty laundry
, she
thought.
But as usual, Mom and
Sarah
won out.

As Melissa thought of her
beautiful mother and equally beautiful sister, she sat up straighter and
smoothed her hair. At just that moment, Dr. Foster entered her office and

came to stand in front of Melissa.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Foster.”

Melissa stood, shook the doctor’s hand and said, “Hi. I’m Melissa
Newman.”

“Have a seat, Melissa, and make yourself comfortable.” Dr. Foster made
her way around her desk as Melissa reclaimed her seat. Dr. Foster sat down,
opened the file on her newest patient and took a few moments to study her. Dr.
Foster noted that Melissa fidgeted with her skirt then her hair. She finally
said, “Why don’t we begin with you telling me why you decided you need to
see a psychiatrist?”

“I didn’t.”

“
Then w
hy are you here?”
Dr. Foster gently asked.

“My mother and sister said that I need some professional help because I’m
losing it,” she bluntly stated.

“And what exactly are you losing?”

“Well, if you’re a psychiatrist, then I guess they think I’m losing my
sanity.”

“I see. Why do you think your mother and your sister believe you are
losing your sanity?”

Melissa looked thoughtful for a moment and finally said, “I guess because
I have no interest in anything anymore, except for my daughter.”

Dr. Foster discreetly wrote something on her notepad, then said,
“Tell me about your daughter.”

Melissa’s eyes lit up at the mention of her beautiful baby. “She turned one
in March, and she is the best thing that ever happened to me. She gives me so
much love and joy.” Her eyes clouded over once again. “More than I
deserve.”

Dr. Foster noted the tremor in Melissa’s voice and the tears in her eyes.

“Why do you think you don’t deserve much love and joy, Melissa?”

“That’s such a long story,” she answered with a sigh as she turned her head
from the steady gaze of the doctor.

Dr. Foster smiled gently at her patient. “I have time.”

Melissa turned
her gaze
back to Dr. Foster and smiled wistfully as she shrugged her
shoulders. “I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“Let’s start at the beginning. Tell me about your family.” Dr. Foster urged
her.

“My family,” Melissa whispered. She sighed again and reluctantly began
to tell her story. “My parents have been married for twenty-nine years and
they adore each other. I also have a sister,
Sarah
, who is four years older than
me.
Sarah
looks exactly like our mother. They’re both beautiful with blonde
hair, blue eyes, and a perfect size six figure. A lot of people think that they’re
sisters instead of mother and daughter. My father is tall with dark hair and
brown eyes, and he’s very handsome. And you can see how I look.”

“Describe to me how you look,” Dr. Foster requested.

“Well, I’m only 5’6” instead of 5’9” like my mother and sister. My hair is
kind of chestnut and my eyes are weird. I’m fat and I can’t seem to be as good
as my sister.”

Dr. Foster discreetly wrote down on her pad, very low self-esteem. She
glanced at her patient again and noted the differences she saw in her versus
the way Melissa described herself. She saw her patient as being
full figured
instead of fat. Dr. Foster gauged her as being a size
twelve
. She also noted
that Melissa’s hair was thick and fell in soft waves past her shoulders and her
eyes were a regal jade but looked very sad. Dr. Foster felt that she would have
a lot of work to do to get through to her newest patient.

“Melissa,” Dr. Foster began, “how long have you felt that you weren’t as
good as your sister?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.
Sarah
and I went to private
school and whenever I got a teacher that she already had, the comparisons
would invariably begin. You see, I wasn’t as good a student as my sister. She
was always studying and doing extra work. I
guess I just didn’t have that
much interest in school; which didn’t make my parents happy, especially my
father. And now my sister is a secretary for a law firm, and I don’t even have