I Wish... (8 page)

"Your mother and I, you, and everyone else in Desire are all witches."

I pasted a smile on my face and hoped it didn't look as sick as I felt. Ramona was clearly losing her mind before my eyes, but at least she wasn't violent or flinging poo. "Uh huh. That's great!"

Ramona glowered at me. "Quit patronizing me, young lady. I'm not crazy and I'd thank you to stop acting like I'm a rabid dog about to attack. Now listen." She folded her hands into her lap and looked for all the world like a librarian about to start story time for a group of preschoolers.

"The women in the town of Desire have always exhibited Talents. Sometimes they can be unpredictable, but usually Talents are similar within Families. Our Family has power over words and communication. My personal Talent is to make a person feel whatever emotions I write down. It's why my books sell so well even though I don't know the first thing about writing a book. I had to switch to fluff books because when people read my first novel they felt so much hopelessness and despair during the dark parts that a lot of people just went out and killed themselves." She laughed as if the idea of dozens of people killing themselves was hilarious.

"You already know that your mother can remember anything she ever reads."

"Regular people can do that. Nothing witchy about it." I interrupted.

"I agree it's a rather weak showing. I should have been more discriminating her father, but I let competitiveness get in the way of making a good match." Mom didn't so much as flinch while Ramona insulted her supposed powers. "Marla turned out stronger, but it was useless to me. But that's why you are so important, dear. You can step up in your mother's place and carry on our Family's place in the Coven."

"Coven?" This was a really elaborate delusion.

"The real power in Desire is the Coven. It’s made up of the Matriarchs of the thirteen most powerful Families in town. Now that Mother is dead, I'm the Matriarch of the Madisons and someday you will take my place."

Oh great, now I'm guest starring in this mess of crazy.
"So I have a power too, you said? Why haven't I seen any evidence of it?"

"Thistle, you not only have a power, it might very well be the strongest power of all. When we realized that you were so strong, Savannah and I knew we had to remove you from Desire for your own safety."

"So what is it that I do?"

Ramona looked a little uncomfortable, which was interesting because I'd never known her to admit wrong doing or shame in my entire life. "Well, we couldn't very well have you using your power untrained, you understand. So we created an aversion so that you'd never accidently use it. As it happens, when you wish for something, it becomes real."

"Are you kidding me? Now I know you're crazy." I jumped to my feet, unwilling to entertain anymore of this lunacy.

"Sit back down!" Ramona was on her feet and looking as angry as I'd ever seen her. "I know that we've given you a lot of free reign over the years, but you will respect our traditions now that we're home."

She waited until I was sitting sullenly on the bench before she continued. "Now as I was saying. We found you, as a toddler who barely knew how to speak, alone in your room one day. You were playing with dolls and you said, 'I wish I had a pony' and suddenly it was true. You had a pony. Because we were close to you, Savannah and I could remember how it had been in the reality before you had a pony and now we remembered a new reality where you had one. Nobody else we spoke to about it seemed to have any memories of the reality that existed before we bought you that pony. Because you see, that's how it happened in this new time line. We'd gone to a farm and bought you a beautiful butterscotch colored pony that we kept in a small barn we'd built on the edge of town on a piece of land we bought specially for it in this new reality."

Mom nodded, "It didn't take long to figure out that if you had made any wishes when we weren't around we wouldn't have any memories of it being any other way."

"Things aren't always handled in pretty ways here. You were too young to protect yourself and we knew that if anyone ever figured out what you could do, you'd be seen as a threat to the power structure and most likely killed."

"Killed? People don't just go around killing people. This isn't the wild west." I wanted to punch holes in their reasoning. Because if I couldn't then I might have to acknowledge the niggling thought in the back of my head that might be the memory of the incident they were talking about.

"You'd be surprised at what happens here." Mom said.

Ramona caught my eye. "We had to keep you safe from yourself as much as everyone else. We spent every moment within ear shot of you for the next several years, which was easily accomplished while living in the RV. Anytime we heard you start to say 'I wish', I'd beat you until I was sure you'd never want to say it again."

I was horrified by this revelation. "You made me believe that it's an obscene thing to say. I've had to leave conversations with nice people because when they said that it made me feel so uncomfortable I couldn't continue talking to them."

"I didn't have a choice. It's no different than punishing a child who plays with matches. The correct answer isn’t to let them continue playing with them until they manage to set themselves on fire. Maybe the lesson will be learned, but at what cost?"

"So now we're back in town and you're telling me this. Why tell me now? Why not the first day we got here or even as we were driving up here?"

"Now that I'm Matriarch it's understood that you will be the one who replaces me as the Matriarch of this Family. Nobody knows what you can do, some would say nothing and that it's all an attempt to bluff. There are less powerful Families who would like to have a place in the Coven. If you are killed, then when I die another Family will have the opportunity to step into that place. The only way you can protect yourself is to know the danger you face and the means you have at your disposal to protect yourself. I've done as much as I can by ensuring that you can defend yourself physically and that you have a certain skill set that might come in handy at some point in the future. The rest is really up to you now."

Well, of course my life would be in danger. Every good delusion has an assassination plot.

Ramona sighed and slumped slightly in her chair. "If I'd had my way, I would have waited until you were an adult and brought you home while Mother was still in good health so that you could have learned more about the politics of Desire and about your own capabilities without so much danger. But when I heard Mother was sick, I knew we just didn't have time. If I hadn't been here when she died, Marla could have attempted a show of power and she might have succeeded and become Matriarch of the Family. Thank heavens for my alliance with Shep's Mother."

"Does Shep have a power?"

Mom chuckled and said, "No. Men don't have Talents. They can come from strong Families, which is what we look for when we marry one, but they never actually display any powers."

"I think I'd like some time to think about this please." I wasn't entirely sure I believed any of what they were saying to me, but I needed to leave this room and this conversation as soon as I could.

Ramona stood up and gestured toward the door. "I think that would be a good idea. Go ahead."

I walked across the room on weak legs. My hand was on the doorknob when Ramona called after me, "Be careful. You're a very important person to this Family."

I shut the door gently behind me.

I went outside and rushed through a messy set of stretches before I jogged back to the path in the woods. Once I hit cleared ground, I lengthened my stride and started sprinting along the trail. I'd run along the path most days since we moved here, but never since that first day had I stopped at the clearing. I'm not even entirely sure what made me veer off onto the smaller trail. My mind was full of confusion and the clearing was such a tranquil place. I wanted to sit on the moss under the tree, close my eyes and think of nothing except the sounds of the forest.

I crashed through the trees that guarded the entrance to the glade. By now I was sweaty and there were leaves and twigs in my pony tail. And so, of course, Ben was already there, shirt off again and writing in his notebook. It didn't appear that he saw me so I tried to sneak back into the trees before he noticed me, but I only got a few steps away before he called out to me.

"Hey, Thistle." He set his notebook aside and walked over to me. "What's wrong?"

I looked up at him. This was the first time I'd really noticed how much taller than me he really was. His wiry muscles emphasized his height. I don't know why I didn't just go then. After the way he'd treated me at school, I should have told him off and left. But there was concern written on his face and I really wanted someone to listen.

"Ben, either both my mom and grandmother are crazy or I am. I've also seriously considered the possibility that maybe we all are."

He put his hands around the back of my neck and gently used his thumbs on my cheeks to tilt my face towards him. "Slow down, ok? What's going on?"

Deep breath. Here we go.
"My grandmother told me today that Desire is a town full of witches. Not only that, but she says that
I'm
supposed to be a witch too." I didn't even know it was coming, but suddenly I was sobbing. Saying it aloud like that made it seem so real. Somebody had lost their grip on reality and that someone might very well be me. I was scared and it seemed like my life was spinning out of control.

He pulled me close to him in a tight hug. I resisted for a second, worried about my tears on his naked tanned skin, but then I gave up completely and just let myself break down for a while.

I'm not sure how long we stood like that before his murmured reassurances finally calmed me. I wasn't used to crying in front of people. Tears never solved anything and I was embarrassed that Ben had seen me in a state of such raw vulnerability. He didn't say anything as he led me by the hand over to the tree. He handed me his discarded shirt. "I'm sorry I don't have anything else to clean up with."

I dabbed my watery eyes, but stopped short of cleaning the snot from my face. It was a sweet gesture on his part, but yuck.

He rummaged in a back pack I hadn't noticed and pulled out a hoodie that he slipped on. He braced his back against the tree and tugged me until I was cuddled next to him. It was an intimate gesture, but I didn't attempt to pull away. The reassurance of leaning against his solid chest made me feel grounded and safe and back in control of myself.

We had been sitting quietly for a few minutes when Ben finally spoke up. "So you really had no idea you were a witch?"

I jerked out of his arms so that I could study his face for any sign of deception. "Are you messing with me, right now? Because I'll be honest, I'm not really in a good place to laugh at this."

"I'll take that as a no. Thistle, I have no idea how they managed to hide your powers from you for however many years, but it's true. If you are the granddaughter of Ramona Madison, then you are a witch. Every single woman in this town has some sort of power and every single man carries the genetic code for magic, but they lack whatever it is that makes it possible to actually perform a Talent."

"This is insane. Surely you understand that."

"It's reassuring that we're so well hidden from the world." His smile was inexplicably bitter. "Now that I know that you didn't realize you were a witch it explains a lot. I was confused by how persistent you were about being seen talking to me publicly."

I wrapped my arms around my knees. "Ok, so say that I buy that you're a witch and I'm a witch and the entire town is nothing but a bunch of witches. That's asking a lot, but say that I do. Why would that have anything to do with whether we talked in public or not?"

He rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Didn't they tell you
anything
about the way things work here?"

"Umm... something about a Coven and Matriarchs, I guess."

"Then you must have picked up on the fact that some Families are stronger than others, right?"

"Yeah, thirteen Families have a representative in the Coven so they are the strongest."

He nodded. "Well, I'm not from one of those Families. Evan Spencer who squires you around school is from a Coven Family. So are James Middleton and the rest of the kids you sit with at lunch. I'm not even from Desire."

"Then how did you end up here?"

Ben looked away from me and examined the tree line across the field. "There is a Family, the Hunters, with the ability to seek out magic. The women in that Family spend their lives traveling the world looking for men to lure back to Desire. They can sense potential untapped magic in people. They don't bother with women because we've got plenty of our own here, but the men can be married off to some of the weaker women. Sometimes when the Hunters are out, they find orphaned or abandoned children with strong magical potential and they bring them back to be fostered by some kind soul."

I reached for his warm hand and gripped it hard. "I assume you're too young to be one of the men they brought back. You were one of the orphans?"

"I don't remember anything from before I lived here. My adopted mother doesn't know anything either. She doesn't even know which Hunter left me at her house. Those cartoons you see where a mother leaves her baby in a basket on a porch? That really happens here."

"That's terrible." As cold as my mother was at least I knew who she was.

"It's all I've ever known. Maybe my life would have been worse in some orphanage somewhere. The thing is, I can't help but feel cheated because at least I would have been on equal footing out there. Here, I'm a second class citizen. There aren't arranged marriages exactly, but unless I happen to fall in love with a certain kind of girl, I'll be alone."

"And everyone here thinks that way? It's like feudal Europe or something."

"Except instead of land and wealth, people make treaties and marriages based on the potential magical abilities of their daughters."