Ice Cold (An MMA Stepbrother Romance) (30 page)

“Really?” Kiegan answered. “I have to think about myself because I’m the only one who will. After mom died it was all about the family, and keeping the family name, and making sure the family is in good repute. No one ever had time for me, as an individual. You couldn’t give less of a shit about me if it wasn’t for the fact that my last name was the same as yours. So don’t give me that shit about what’s good for the family, because I don’t care. I’m making my own way in the world. As far as I’m concerned, the  glory and prestige of the family name can die with you.”

I had to admit, I was pretty proud of Kiegan for what he’d said just then. His father, on the other hand, looked like his face was going to explode. I had never seen it go so red, a purple vein was pulsing on the side of his head.

“Fine, you don’t want to be a Hunt anymore? That’s up to you. Maybe my next child will be a little bit more grateful for the opportunities given to her.”

“Wait, your next child?” I asked suddenly. “Her?”

My mom smiled.

“Yes, your desire to stay away from this family for all its worth means you’ll never get to know your new sister. She’s due in four months.” My mother cradled her belly, and I suddenly realized why she was wearing a loose-fitting maxi dress. I assumed it was the climate, but it was to   hide the growing bump underneath her.

My face drained of blood. Surely not. Surely my mother wasn’t going to do this.

“You are kidding me. I can’t believe… I cannot believe you would… get out.”

Kiegan opened the door and stared down his father. Finally, Elton nodded.

“It’s pointless trying to talk some sense into them, Sam. Let’s go.”

Kiegan closed the door on them, and the sudden silence in the house after all the arguing gave the whole place a bit of an eerie feel.

I grabbed the banister, the memory of my mom telling me she was pregnant with a daughter still running through my mind. This couldn’t be happening. It just couldn’t.

“Tina? Are you ok?” Kiegan called up. I just shook my head and ran back out to the balcony. I didn’t know what to do. I felt crushed, I felt small, I felt like there was something I had to do, but I just didn’t know what.

What can you do when you know something terrible is going to happen, but you just can’t prevent it?

Without having anything else to do, I sat down on the edge of the balcony and began to cry. I wrapped my arms against my knees, which I pulled up to my chest, and just sobbed my way through all the emotions coursing through me.

I was going to have a sister. For the first time, a sibling. A little sister, and I wouldn’t be able to protect her. I wouldn’t be able to protect her at all.

I didn’t hear Kiegan come out and find me. But I felt him sit down next to me, and I felt his strong arm wrap around me. I leaned my head against the tattoo on his bicep and let him hold me.

He didn’t ask what was the matter. He didn’t ask what I was so emotional about. And it was perfect. He just held me, leaning his head against mine, and let me cry out the demons that were eating me up inside.

As for me, I just let the tears flow. I don’t know how long we sat there. All I know is that by the time my eyes would no longer allow for any more tears to fall, I was completely and totally exhausted. My body was spent in every sense of the word. I sat there, motionless, no longer crying, but not doing anything else either except stare into space.

Finally, Kiegan realized and got up.

“Come on, Tina. You’re going to go have a nap, and I’m going to order in some food for after.”

I nodded mutely, barely registering the words Kiegan said as he helped me up from the ground. He tucked me in to bed, and I lay on the matress, staring at the wall, thinking about my new sister, and how her life would be ruined by being a part of that family.

I don’t know how long it took for me to fall asleep, but by the time I woke up it was mid-afternoon.

Kiegan was in the living room, sitting on the couch with an open bowl of Udon noodles, some chicken Tempura and a six pack box of donuts with two missing, a tiny bit of icing in the corner of Kiegan’s mouth telling me exactly where they went.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” he told me softly, inviting me over to the couch. “I just got back with the food about twenty minutes ago, your noodles should still be hot,” he told me, nodding at the closed container with chopsticks sitting nicely on top.

“Thanks,” I muttered groggily. I didn’t really feel that hungry, but as soon as I thought that, my stomach grumbled in disagreement. I unwrapped the chopsticks and dug into the noodles. I could feel Kiegan’s gaze on me, and I knew he had questions, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to answer them.

“It’s going to be ok, you know,” he told me eventually. “We made a choice, but we can always change it. If it’s going to be too hard, we can always deny our relationship.”

I shook my head. “It’s not that.”

“Ok. I thought there was something at the end. When your mom said she was pregnant, your face just went completely white. But it’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it. Eat up,” he told me, and turned on the TV. Of course the news was back to being about us. Not too much happened on boxing day, it seemed. Kiegan quickly changed the channel to a Grey’s Anatomy repeat.

I ate the noodles, barely tasting them, my insides feeling like they were going to explode. I had to tell someone. Every cell in my body was desperate to ask Kiegan for his opinion, to have him tell me what to do. He was so good at this sort of stuff.

But at the same time, I was scared. The last time I’d told someone I’d been called a liar, ostracized, and it had led to me leaving my family completely.

What if the same thing happened again?

What if Kiegan decided he wanted nothing to do with me if I told him?

I could feel the tears welling up inside of me again. There was a certain irony to it; after all this time, after I’d spent years of my life hating my brother, I was now debating as to whether or not telling him my greatest secret would drive him away from me completely.

If he can’t handle your worst secret, then what do you expect to ever get out of this relationship?
My brain asked the most sensible question of all, and I debated it. What was I expecting to get out of this relationship? Great sex? National scandal? This was serious. If Kiegan and I were both willing public embarrassment by coming out, then it had to mean we were both pretty serious about this, right?

And that meant I almost owed it to us, to the relationship, to tell him. No matter what the consequences.

Finally, I spoke.

“What would you do, if you knew someone would be in trouble, but there was nothing you could do about it?”

Kiegan looked at me. “I don’t know. I guess I would maybe try and tell someone who could do something about it?”

“What if they don’t care?”

“I guess it would depend on the situation, and how much I cared about the person. If it was someone I really cared about, I would probably do whatever it took to make sure I could do something about it.”

I nodded and thought about what he said.

“You always wanted to know why I left the family and ran to Seattle, right?”

“Yeah. But seriously, if you’re uncomfortable, you don’t need to tell me.”

“No. I do need to tell you. You need to know.”

I stared down at the coffee table as Kiegan subtly turned off the TV. Tried to gather my thoughts. How do you tell someone something like this, how do you admit it? Finally, I just came out and said it.

“Your Uncle Edward molested me.”

There. I’d said it. Straight up. No bullshit, no sugarcoating, that was the truth. That was what had happened.

“Fuuuuuck,” Kiegan muttered in reply, but before he could say anything else, I had to keep going. I knew I had to tell him everything.

“It was just before I’d graduated from high school. I was seventeen. He was staying with us for the night, and after everyone had gone to bed he came into my room. He put his hand on my breast, then fingered me, and whispered in my ear not to bother telling anyone, because they wouldn’t believe me anyway.”

I took another deep breath to compose myself. I could feel my voice trembling when I spoke, and I didn’t want to cry. Memories came flooding back as I said it, but I forced them away. I didn’t want to think about how it felt. I wanted to talk about it, but without remembering it. I knew if I started thinking about it too much I’d start to cry, and then I’d never tell the whole story.

“The stupid thing was, I was pretty addicted to CSI and those types of shows back then. And you know how they always tell people ‘oh you should have told someone’ whenever that sort of thing happened? Well, I thought to myself that I had to tell my mom. I had to tell her, so that someone knew what kind of person Uncle Edward was. I wasn’t going to hide. I wasn’t going to be the person scolded for keeping it quiet.”

I took another deep breath before continuing. This was almost harder than admitting it had happened at all.

“My mom didn’t believe me. At all. She literally accused me of lying. She told me that Edward Hunt was an important man, one of the most  famous people in the country, and that someone from such a good family would never do something like that. She told me to never tell anyone. She told me that no one would believe me anyway. The exact same thing that fucker told me.”

“Holy shit,” Kiegan whispered softly.

“I left two days later. I’ve never regretted it. Not when I didn’t have the money to pay my rent, not when I lived off ramen noodles for weeks on end. Because at least I wasn’t near those people. I thought you knew. Your dad knows. I overheard my mom telling him that night. He told her that of course I was lying, there was no way his brother would do something like that.”

I leaned back against the couch and closed my eyes. It felt good to get that off my chest. I hadn’t told anyone since I told my mom. I was nervous about Kiegan’s reaction, but it still felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Silence reigned between us for a moment while Kiegan collected his thoughts.

“So that’s why you freaked out when you found out your mom’s having a daughter.”

I nodded. “I know what kind of animal she’ll be raised around. My only hope is that Elton will care more because she’s his actual daughter.”

Kiegan shook his head. “He won’t. He only cares about the family name, and his brother is running for President. Hell, he’s probably going to win.”

“Great. A pervert in the White House. President Pervert.”

“No. You know what? We have to do something.”

“But what? I have absolutely no proof. It’s my word against his. No one is going to believe some random kid over the man running to be President from like the most loved family in America.”

Kiegan pursed his lips.

“You’re right.” He took my hands. “What happened to you was unforgivable. I don’t know what, but I promise you Tina, I will do what I can to make it right.”

I looked into his eyes, which bore into mine with an intensity and a sadness I knew were genuine.

“I may not have been the best brother to you, but I swear I had no idea. I will help make this right. I agree, there is no way I want my new sister to be anywhere near that freak either.”

I smiled at Kiegan. It was such a relief that he believed me, that finally
someone
believed me, that I just immediately burst into tears.

“Wait, what’s wrong?” Kiegan asked, suddenly concerned.

“Nothing… it’s just… you’re the first person to believe me. Thank you,” I replied. And I meant it. It was crazy, but I trusted Kiegan. I realized that just then. I really, truly trusted him.