I'd Rather Not Be Dead (23 page)

“You sure, honey?” the bartender
asks. She bends over a little, showing the top of a lacy bra. “If
you want something stronger... I won't tell if you won't.”

Her eyes makes sure he knows the
offer isn't limited to beverages.

“No, thanks,” Finn answers
easily, ignoring the blatant innuendo in her expression. “Coke's
fine. And some wings?”

“Sure thing, sweetie.” With a
lingering smile and a retreat that's just a bit too slow, she goes
back to the bar to put the order into the computer there.

“She better watch out,” I
mutter. “Or she's just going to think she had ghost problems
before.”

Finn turns his head to look at
me. And, slowly, he starts to grin. “Really?”

“Really,” I confirm with a solid
nod.

Slumping down until he's no
longer visible from anywhere but right next to our table, he puts
an arm around my shoulders and pulls me tight against his side. My
arms wrap around his waist and my head leans on his shoulder.
There's a perfection in the contact I never would have thought I'd
have with anyone, let alone with Cooper Finnegan. I was such an
idiot when I was alive.

I mimic Big-Hair's voice. “You
sure you don't want anything else, sweetie?” I snort and grumble,
“Sweetie.”

Finn's breath is warm against my
hair as he laughs. “Are you really that jealous she hit on me
instead of you?”

“Of course,” I respond. “And
don't say it's because I'm dead because she never did it while I
was alive either. And, worse, she never offered me booze.”

“Sorry. Guess she has no
taste.”

I grunt in concordance. “But we
knew that from her hair.”

Finn rests his cheek on the top
of my head. “Thought we knew that from her coming on to me.”

“That too.” I turn my face
upward so he can see my smile. “She'd have to be tasteless, not to
mention insane, to want you, wouldn't she?”

Bending gracefully, he melts me
with a slow, languid kiss. His eyes are brilliant flares of green
as he pulls away. “Everyone always said you were crazy,” he
whispers. “Guess I should have believed them.”

The bartender's footsteps get
close and Finn shifts to look more natural to someone who has no
idea I'm here. With a huge smile, Big-Hair puts down a tray,
bending too far over to move the stuff on it to the table in front
of Finn.

“That slut undid an extra
button,” I gasp. Seriously. She did! “That stupid bargain store bra
is about to pop out her shirt!”

Making choking sounds, Finn
tries to cover up a laugh.

“You okay?” Big-Hair asks, her
eyes wide with concern.

“Fine,” he gets out, grabbing
the drink and taking a huge gulp of it.

“Alright. Let me know if you
need anything, sugar.”

She saunters off while I glare
after her. It's sugar now, is it? She's living dangerously.

He waits until she's out of
earshot before slumping downward and giving me an astonished look.
“She went to school with my mom!”

“Ew!” I squeak.

We stare at each other for a few
seconds before we start laughing.

“Good God,” Finn mutters,
leaning back with his drink and taking a wing in hand. “I can never
come back here again.”

“Nope,” I agree, watching with
envy as he tears the meat off of its bone. Wings aren't on my list
of favorite foods but I'd give a lot to be able to have one now I
can't.

Finn tosses the bone back into
the chicken basket and takes a cluster of fries from the other
without acknowledging that he never asked her for fries. Dipping
them in the ranch dressing, he looks around the booth. “Any signs
of your friend?”

“No.” My head shakes while Finn
swallows the fries without seeming to bother with chewing them
first. “And you'd see him just as clearly as I would. It's not like
I have some special Fray-sense or anything.”

He flashes me a smile.
“Good.”

My foot kicks against his shin,
but I fail at being upset with him. “I don't think we need to be
making our lives, or lack thereof, more difficult just because you
have insecurity issues.”

His eyes narrow on my while he
sips his drink. Lowering the glass, he states, “Call me insecure
all you want, but I'm pretty sure he has a better chance with you
than our waitress stands with me.”

“Hey!” My eyes fling open.
“Maybe she figures out you like me better and she shoves me off the
cliff in a heated rage!”

Finn eats another chicken wing
without comment.

I sigh. “Of course, by that
logic, it could be any of the female population of this
hicksburg.”

He continues to ignore me in
favor of lunch.

“I was supposed to say Fray
doesn't have a shot either, wasn't I?” I catch on.

“Would've been nice.”

“Since when was I ever nice to
you?”

“True.” He offers a quick grin
before shoving some more fries into his mouth.

With a start, I realize he's
eaten most of his food already. How in the world is that possible?
He finishes quickly, waits until someone else has the bartender's
attention, and tosses some money on the bar without waiting for
change.

“Where to now?” I ask him,
darting out the door at his side.

“Don't know,” he admits. But he
doesn't slow down on his rush away from the club.

Did Big-Hair spook him that
much? That would kind of imply he's never noticed women acting that
way everywhere he goes. Or maybe he's always this spooked. Maybe
that's why he spends enough time at home for his mom not to realize
he could be anywhere he wants to be. My hand grasps for his. Our
fingers entwine. Mine squeeze tightly as I make a silent promise to
protect him from the Big-Hairs of the world. As much as a ghost
can.

We're on the edge of town before
I figure out where he's taking us. He stops almost as soon as the
realization hits me. Frowning, he looks ahead, then down at me in
question. He didn't mean to come here, isn't sure he wants to go
out where we're heading. I'm not sure I do either but maybe there
will be clues there. I haven't been there since I woke up that
morning... How long ago was that? How long have I been dead? The
days blend together, making it feel both like it just happened and
like it was an eternity ago.

With a deep breath, I nod and we
start to walk again. It takes a while to get out to the overlook I
died at because the tourists are out in droves, forcing Finn to
trudge through the overgrowth next to the Parkway.

“This way,” I say, trying to
keep my voice from trembling as I lead Finn to the edge of the
parking lot and the opening of the short path I woke up down.

Finn tightens his fingers around
my hand and nearly manages to look brave.

Together, we make our way down a
narrow tree-lined trail littered with fallen leaves. The path runs
by a deep spring gurgling up at the end of the walk into a pool
lined with flat brown stones and mud. One side of the pool passes
into the mountain while the other flows into a small waterfall in
the middle of an artificial wall.

The site's not at the bottom of
a cliff, but the drop on the other side of the rock wall is more
than enough feet to kill someone. When I woke up, I was sleeping
against it a little way from the water. “Guess this is where I'm
pushed from, huh?”

Finn pulls me against him as I
shiver. “That would be my guess.”

We look around but don't see any
signs of what's going to happen here, not even when Finn gets down
and pushes at the wall, trying and failing to loosen any of the
rocks. The wall isn't going anywhere, so if I do fall from here I'm
going to have to go over it.

Finn gets up and hurls a
baseball-sized stone out into space. With the energy he puts into
the throw I almost expect it to keep going until it hits a
neighboring mountain, but it plummets downward well before getting
a fraction that far. Plummets... Just like I will.

Finn's clenched jaw and tense
shoulders damn the universe louder than any curse could.

Wrapping my arms around his
waist, I lean into his back. “It'll be okay.”

“Obviously not if you're the
optimistic one.”

I laugh and tighten my hold.

We turn and leave when a van
pulls into the parking lot and a gaggle of tourists pour out of it.
Falling into step by Finn, I slide my hand into his pocket and our
fingers entwine. “I don't know why Rain's friend is giving her
clues,” he says. “What does he expect us to do?”

“He or she could just be bored,”
I theorize. “Maybe she thinks it's funny to watch us run around
trying to stop something that has to happen.”

“Is the afterlife really that
boring?” he asks.

I give him a smile. “Not for
me.”

He grunts softly.

We walk for several minutes
before he tells me, “I'm supposed to go to work today.”

“Okay.” I jump up on a log
that's in my way and jot down in my still compiling list of Shadow
rules that logs seem to count as trees. They're here, even though
I've walked through some fairly hefty fallen branches on this trip.
“Maybe we can talk to your granddad.”

“Challenge is usually getting
him to shut up,” Finn says fondly. “Though getting him to say
something useful's a different story.”

His phone rings three times on
the walk back to town, after which he turns the thing off without
having taken any of the calls. He can't make himself invisible
though and almost as soon as we hit civilization he's spotted by a
group of his teammates and a couple of their girlfriends.

“Yo, Finn,” one of them
oh-so-eloquently greets. “What happened to you, man?”

He gives them a bored shrug.
“Took a personal day.”

“With who?” one of the girls
asks, giving him a catty grin.

“Whom,” the other girl
corrects.

“What are you talking about?”
the guy who originally called out wants to know.

The girls roll their eyes. “He
was all pissed off at the world last time we saw him, and now look
at him. He's skipping along like the world's all lightness and
butterflies and kittens. It's got to be a girl.”

“I have no idea what you're
talking about,” Finn lies. He looks at the guy again. “Your
girlfriend's crazy, dude.”

“You're telling me,” he agrees,
earning himself a playful swat from the girl in question.

“I'd have to be to date a loser
like you.”

“You coming tonight?” another of
the guys asks.

Finn's look of confusion causes
the girls trade a knowing look, one of them mouthing, “It's a
girl...” and the other one mouthing back, “Yeah, but who?”

They'll never guess.

“Asheville, bro,” the first guy
tells Finn. “Checking out the mall?”

The mall? I manage to not to
gag, but it's hard.

“Sorry, guys,” Finn replies
swiftly. “Promised my uncle I'd close for him tonight and tomorrow
I have to be up at like five. Gotta do some stuff at work before
heading out for Promo.”

“Bummer,” the taller girl
pretends to pout for a second, then gives her friend a smirk, like
she's certain he's just trying to keep whoever he skipped school
for secret and doesn't want to leave her alone on a Friday
night.

“You're bailing on us?” one of
the guys asks, giving Finn a slightly disgusted look. He's probably
thinking the same thing as the girls but isn't amused by it like
they are.

Finn spreads his hands out, like
he's helpless. “My uncle really needs this. I promised a week
ago.”

They mumble and groan some more,
but eventually let us pass on our way to the hardware store to
relieve Finn's uncle.

Customers keep Finn from calling
out to his grandfather, but I have no problems with yelling for Al.
Not that it does me any good. If he's here, he's hiding.

I jump up on the counter, my
legs swinging as I watch Finn interact with the people who pass
through. With them, he's the same Cooper Finnegan I've known for
years.

Maybe part of my problem with
him in the past, the part that wasn't based on the simple fact
people like him and don't like me, was that on some level I always
sensed there was another Finn in there, that this facade is...
Well, a facade. The mask isn't malicious. It isn't manipulative. I
don't even think it's conscious. It's not a lie so much as
camouflage.

The sun sets outside and the
flow of traffic slows to a trickle as the clock creeps closer to
closing time. We're still thirty minutes shy of being officially
able to shut down when a man rushes in looking frantically for a
toilet flapper.

Finn's led the guy a few feet
from the register when Fray suddenly appears next to me. Finn
falters for a fraction of a second but then continues to lead the
customer away.

Leaning against the counter,
Fray puts his elbows next to where I sit. He's dressed today in a
plain gray tee over a gray thermal shirt. The colors strike me as
unusually... Ghostly.

“Where have you been?” I open
with.

He gives me a crooked smile.
“It's the day after Halloween, luv. You didn't expect me to be up
early, did you?”

Breathing out in a amused puff,
I pull my feet up and hug my knees. “What were you up late
doing?”

He laughs, the sound rolling
easily off of him. “Nothing half as interesting as what I wanted to
be doing.” He pauses for a heartbeat. “How was your night?”

Nice evasion of a simple
question. “Crap,” I state with complete honesty. “But the morning
was better.”

His eyebrows go up. “Oh?”

Something in the twinkle of his
eyes says he's seeing things in my mind. Things involving Finn, I'd
bet. “Mind your own business.” I concentrate on closing that
imaginary book in my head.

Fray beams and I sigh. “You knew
about Finn and me all along, didn't you?”

He continues to smile at me.

“Did you know what Rain told
me?” I ask.