If Ever I Fall: Book 3 of The Six Series (22 page)

I
JINGLED THE KEYS TO
the new apartment in my hand, watching Josh’s expression as he looked around the empty space for the first time. “So… what do you think?”

“I think you should have waited and talked to me about this first,” he answered, sighing as he leaned against the wall.

That took me by surprise. I thought he’d be happy to get out of the one-bedroom shit hole he’d been living in.

Plus, with me sharing the rent, he’d be able to maybe pick up a class or two and go back to college. “I don’t understand. I thought you’d at least be a little excited.”

He hitched his shoulder. “I was gonna wait until my lease was up and head home.”

Josh wasn’t a quitter. If anything, he was the only one of the Six that had his shit together before we all left home. Seeing him so defeated and unsure of himself hit me like a freight train. “And do what? Find some minimum-wage job and just get by? You’re better than that, Josh. You had plans. What happened to them?”

He pushed off the wall, shoving his hand through his hair as the air crackled with the anger coming off him in waves. “Do you know how hard it’s been since I left home? Since we all parted ways? I can’t even function right. What does that say about me?”

Watching him poke his finger against his chest as he asked his last question pissed me off. “You’re not the only one who had a hard time with leaving home, Josh. All of us had to make some pretty damn big adjustments when we set out on our own, but we did it. Why aren’t you in school and what the hell have you been doing these last few months?”

He tipped his head back and laughed. It wasn’t a funny kind of laugh either. It was a laugh that said I was about to hear a whole bunch of shit I didn’t want to hear.

Instead of lashing out like I thought he’d do, he turned his back on me and walked over to the large picture window in the living room.

“I was held up at gunpoint my second day here. On my way to the bank of all things.” He sighed, kicking the toe of his shoe against the wall. “Lucky for me, I’d held back a little bit of money, or I would have really been screwed.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” I asked.

Had he called one of us, we would have chipped together and sent him enough money to help him get by.

“Seriously? Everyone was off doing their own thing. The last thing I wanted to do was call everyone up and be all like ‘hey, how’s everything going? Can you send me some money?’” He shook his head. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he continued. “I had it handled. Well, I thought I had it handled. I filed a report and got with a sketch artist, but even if they caught the guy, I’d still be broke.”

“How much?” I asked, wondering if he’d be honest with me.

His shoulders turned in as he grumbled. “Eight grand. Almost every penny I had.”

“What? You were walking around with eight grand in your damn pocket?” He couldn’t have been that damn dumb.

He spun around, pegging me with a challenging stare. “I was headed to the bank! How the hell was I supposed to know I’d get jumped on my way there? People don’t do that shit where we come from. But here? This place is nothing like home. I walk around on high fucking alert everywhere I go.”

“So you’re letting one punk-ass person control your entire life? You’re stronger than that, Josh!” I yelled back at him.

He recoiled as if I’d slapped him. “I know what I am, Aiden. I don’t need you, or anyone else, reminding me of that. And it wasn’t just being mugged that gave me a bad taste for this place.”

I eyed him, waiting for him to expand on that. When he didn’t, I changed my tactics. “Do you have a job?”

He snorted. “Oh, I have a job all right.”

That was at least something. He’d for sure be able to cover his half of stuff. “Where are you working?”

His anger notched up again. “I have a job. Leave it at that.”

“Okay,” I said, backing off.

He gave me a surprised look. “What, you’re not going to grill me about it?”

I tilted my head as if thinking about it, but really, I knew pushing him too hard would result in another argument.

I didn’t want to argue with him anymore. I wanted him to tell me things because he wanted me to know them. Not because I was pushing him to do it.

Being friends meant that sometimes you just had to pull back until the other person was ready to talk. It damn sure didn’t give me license to harass him. Even if that was exactly what I wanted to do. “Nope. I figure you’ll tell me when you’re ready. Besides, so long as you have a job, we can cover the rent and stuff with no problem.”

He rubbed his palm along his jaw. “What makes you think I’ll move in here? I still have a lease at the other place.”

I’d known that, and I didn’t care. All he had to do was agree to share the apartment we stood in. I’d take care of the rest.

“It wouldn’t cost much to break the lease. Besides, this place puts you a hell of a lot closer to the campus. You can take on some classes and still work.”

Rocking back on his heels, he eyed me. “And what about you? How can you afford it?”

Time to lie again,
I thought. “I work for a private investigator. Money comes when I’m given jobs, and the pay is good.”

He rolled his eyes at me. “Figures. Fine, I’ll move into your stupid, big apartment and try to go back to school. Happy?”

I rushed him, hauling him up from the floor in a bear hug. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to say no!”

“Put me down. You’re gonna break my freakin’ ribs, asshole,” Josh said, gasping as I heaved him up and down.

I set him back on the floor, and he took a half-hearted swing at me.

Dodging it, I said, “Come on. Let’s go get your stuff packed. We still have to go get furniture and shit today, ‘cause I’m not sleeping on the floor again tonight.”

Walking back to Josh’s apartment, I had a little extra bounce in my step. That was until Josh hit me with a question I hadn’t seen coming.

“Before you got here, where were you? I know you weren’t home because Mom would have said something,” he said.

My steps faltered slightly, but not enough to give away the fact that Josh had blindsided me. Scotland. Airen. Damn it. Would I ever not hurt thinking about her?

“Here and there,” I said, blowing off his question with a shrug.

Josh stayed quiet for a minute, but then he said, “You really aren’t gonna tell me? After nosing your way in my business? That’s cold, bro.”

“Scotland.” It popped out of me before I could stop it.

Josh came to a halt, tugging my arm. “No shit?”

Squinting against the sunlight, I could see the questions building up in his eyes. The city bustled around us. Cars rolled past as drivers honked at other drivers.

Somewhere in the distance, an ambulance siren wailed, and I found myself rubbing my chest over my heart.

Josh had no idea how much hurt I had inside of me. He had no idea what that one question made me feel.

“You know I have like a million things I’m gonna ask you right? Man, Scotland. I’d love to go to Scotland,” he rambled on as he let go of my arm and we continued walking side by side. “Do they wear kilts all the time? And are there really fairy hills, or whatever they call them?”

Pulling my thoughts from Airen, I gave Josh a weird look. “Fairy hills?”

“Yeah, bro! Don’t tell me you don’t know about the old stories they tell,” he said, huffing that I wasn’t as excited as he was about magical creatures based off myths.

“They don’t wear kilts all the time, Josh. And no, I didn’t get a chance to check out the countryside while I was there,” I answered as we came to a stop outside his apartment.

“What about the pubs? Did you go to one? How’s their beer?” he asked, firing off more questions I couldn’t answer.

The coffee shop came to mind instead. “I didn’t really have time to do all that.”

“No time?” he questioned with a voice straining an octave above normal.

I pushed him in the direction of the stairs to his apartment, “Hurry up and unlock the damn door before we’re both mugged.”

Josh’s eyes darted around. I felt bad for saying it, but it had at least halted his questions for the moment.

Once inside, Josh made his way back to his room as I made my way over to the small window that looked out to the street below.

What I wouldn’t have given to see Airen again and hold her one last time. To tell her… what exactly? That I was sorry and even though I wanted her more than I wanted my next breath, I couldn’t have her.

Closing my eyes, I leaned my head against the cold glass and sighed deeply.

“What about the way they talk? I’d love to go over there and learn how to talk like them.” Josh carried on our conversation from earlier, practically yelling it from his room so I’d hear him.

Pushing myself away from the window, I caught a glimpse of someone walking down the street. She looked a little lost with her hands shoved in her pockets. There was something familiar about her. Squeezing my eyes shut, I forced myself to step away from the window. Seeing Airen in other girls was the last straw. Even if the girl in question had the exact same color hair as her. I’d never move on if I kept doing that to myself.

The sounds coming from Josh’s room drew me down the hall to investigate. When I stuck my head inside, I saw his suitcases open on his bed. He was stuffing everything in them without even folding anything.

“Almost done,” he said, grabbing a handful of hangers from his closet and tossing them on top of his other clothes.

Two pair of shoes later, he had everything packed. All that would need to be moved was the bed.

“We can take a couple of trips and get that,” I said, nodding at the bed, “over to the new apartment.”

He waved off my plan, saying, “Not mine. It was here when I moved in.”

Unzipping a suitcase, Josh put it on the floor and stripped his bed down, tossing sheets, pillow, and the thin comforter he’d brought from home inside of it. “All set,” he said, fighting to push everything down so that he could close it.

TWO HOURS LATER, WE LEFT the furniture store, having given the delivery truck instructions to be at the new apartment in an hour. I’d paid a hefty chunk of money to ensure we’d have our furniture delivered before nightfall.

Not up for walking all the way back to the apartment, I asked the store manager to call us a cab.

“Probably would have been faster walking,” Josh mumbled beside me as the cab rolled slowly through the streets.

It seemed like every damn car in the city was out for a drive.

My fingers tapped a frustrated beat against my leg. We were only three blocks from the apartment and waiting made me fidgety. It wasn’t being in a car that bothered me. Being in a car that hadn’t moved for the last three minutes did.

Pulling out my wallet, I tossed a twenty over the seat and gestured for Josh to get out.

We made it one block before he started up again. “Say something in Scottish.”

“What the hell does that even mean? They speak English just like we do,” I said, elbowing him.

He rubbed his arm. “You know what I mean.”

I quirked my eyebrow at him. “What makes you think I can talk like them?”