If I Break THE COMPLETE SERIES Bundle (165 page)

I squeal.

“You must really be bored,” he says, sounding flattered.

“I am.”

Lunch is unfortunately something I look forward to. A little too much maybe. I pull out a bowl of the potato and bacon soup I whipped up yesterday. One of the best things about a job is having money to buy CDs and whatever food I like and try whatever recipes I want. I put the soup in the microwave, then I feel two hands grab my sides. My nerves shoot through my body, and I almost jump out of my skin. When I turn around and see Will laughing, I’m not surprised. I punch him playfully anyway.

“Why do you always do that?” I say, feigning anger, but unfortunately, I enjoy any reason we have to touch.

“I can’t believe I still get you with that.” He chuckles, leaning on the counter and looking at me with a lazy, sexy smile.

I quickly look away and concentrate on the microwave heating up our food. “Potato and bacon soup. I think it turned out okay.” Not to pat myself on the back, but it was delicious last night and smells even better today.

“I’m sure it’s okay,” he says with half smile.

“Okay?” I ask.

He sighs. “Okay, everything you make is finger-licking good.”

He winks, and I turn back toward the microwave, hoping my cheeks haven’t changed colors.

“You seem happy today. Is the job getting better?” he asks, and I shake my head.

“No,” I say with a smile.

He looks at me curiously. “Then what?”

I grab the container of soup and two bowls, and we sit at the little table in the employee lounge. It’s funny how I went from high school student to an employee at a school in a matter of weeks.

“Nothing,” I say secretively.

I see from his expression he’s getting more curious as I pour the soup into our bowls. He’s brooding, eyeing me, and it gives me tingles.

“Come on, what’s up?” he asks, giving me a mischievous grin.

I look up as if I’m contemplating whether or not to tell him, but he knows it’s a ruse. I tell him practically everything—except for what’s most important.

“Zach might be coming to visit,” I say, unable to contain my wide smile.

As soon as I say it, his smile disappears, and he sort of frowns.

I look at him questioningly. “What’s that look for?”

“I don’t see why you still even talk to that guy,” he says, not even trying to mask his disdain.

“He’s my friend,” I say as if it’s obvious.

“A friend who likes to feel you up whenever he feels like it.” He pops a spoonful of soup in his mouth.

“It’s not whenever he feels like it. It’s whenever I feel like it,” I say defensively.

Of course Will and I have talked about this before, and he’s always expressed his disapproval of my relationship with Zach, but he doesn’t understand it. And really, it shouldn’t matter if he understands it or not. The difference today though is that instead of just stating what he thinks, he has an attitude. Like he’s sort of pissed. I know when he’s pissed because he gets that way a lot when he has to do administrative paperwork or when he talks about Gia still not accepting their engagement.

“What’s your problem?” I ask, a little annoyed.

“I don’t have a problem,” he counters, so obviously annoyed.

“It doesn’t seem like it,” I say, taking a spoonful of my own soup.

Then his face softens as if he knows he’s being ridiculous. His blue eyes focus on mine, and my annoyance instantly dissapears. “I just think you deserve better than that. A guy who wants you to be his… and not in some twisted friendship.”

His tone is almost intimate, and I grip my spoon tightly. Why does he have to be like that, so… so heart-wrenchingly sweet?

“Maybe one day I’ll find a guy like you, Will. Cross your fingers for me,” I say quietly.

The rest of our lunch is quiet and awkward. I don’t understand why he cares so much about what I do with Zach. I don’t insert myself into his and Gia’s business. I don’t tell him that I think he’s stupid for waiting around for her to decide when he’s good enough for her to marry, that so many girls would say yes to him in a heartbeat if he gave them the chance. I want to tell him that one of those girls is right in front of him.

No, that’s
crazy
. I don’t want to marry Will. That’s going too far. I have feelings for him, I care about him, and I love being around him, but marry… what type of a person wants to marry her sister’s almost-fiancé? I guess that’s as bad as wanting to kiss your sister’s almost-fiancé. I swear, there are times, though brief, when I think just for a moment that he has feelings for me too, but thinking like that doesn’t help things.

The awkwardness passes, and we’re back to us—whatever
us
is. I’d rather have us than nothing even if it’s not exactly everything that I want.

Tonight I’m making pork chops with garlic scalloped potatoes and asparagus. Evening is one of my favorite times here. It’s the one time I don’t mind that I’m alone in the house most of the time. In the evening, when I get to cook and turn on the radio and the sun sets, it’s like the house is mine. I’m surprised when I hear the door open and Gia walks in. It’s a Tuesday, and so far Tuesdays are usually her late nights.

“Something smells good,” she sings.

I smile. “It’s going to be. What are you doing home so early?” I check on my roast.

“Class let out early today, believe it or not,” she says as she peeks into the pot I have going.

I shoo her away. She knows I hate when people look in on my dishes.

“And you didn’t stay at the library to study?” I ask, surprised.

“No, I’m going to be there all weekend, studying for this exam next week.” She takes a seat at the table, and I sit across from her. “How’s work going?”

I like how she says work as if my job at the library is a career.

“Another day, another dollar.” I laugh.

“How’s Will?” she asks.

I look at her a little awkwardly. I’m surprised by her question, but I try to play it cool. “Good, I guess. Why would you ask me?”

“He’s just been acting kind of…” She grabs a pop out of the fridge.

“Kind of what?” Now my curiosity is piqued.

“I don’t know… distant,” she says with a sigh before she sits back down.

“Do you think it’s because you still haven’t said yes to marrying him?” I ask as if it’s obvious.

She shakes her head. “No, I mean, I don’t think so. Will understands my feelings about that.”

Really.

“I think it’s because we haven’t been able to spend that much time together. My schedule is just so crazy right now. It sucks. I wish I had more time for him, but things are just super hectic.” She twists the cap back on her bottle of soda. “The thing is though, I’d think since we haven’t been spending much time together, he’d kind of soak up the opportunity too, right?”

Right then I see a flicker of what might be worry behind her confident façade.

“I think that you should make time for someone you care about before they stop caring,” I say. I defeat the urge to tell her that nothing’s wrong and she’s exaggerating, I won’t be that person. I’m already the person whose feelings I loathe.

“You wouldn’t understand, Gwen. When you’re an adult and you have plans you’ve made, it’s important to stay on track with them. Will should understand that. At least he would if he was a little more driven, a little more of an adult. Sometimes he acts like a kid.”

At that moment, I realize Gia wants Will to be William and she won’t be happy unless he’s exactly that.

“Has he said anything to you?” she says flippantly.

“No.”

“Have you noticed him not being himself lately? Right now you see him more than I do,” she says with a sigh, and I shake my head. She lets out a deep sigh then giggles to herself. “You know, you’re absolutely right Gwen. I have to make more time for him. Do you mind if I pack up some of this and take it over to him? I think I’ll spend the night there.”

I try to force a smile, but I feel as though I’m going to vomit.
What is wrong with me?!

“Sure,” I say quietly, and she beams at me.

She kisses my cheek and heads to her bedroom. “I’m going to go shower first. How long will it take for it to be done?”

I swallow hard. “About an hour.” But I feel as though my voice is about to crumble.

I feel as if my puppy just died. I want Gia to be happy, but why does it feel like her happiness is crushing my own? I try to clear the swelling in my throat, and the doorbell rings. I gather myself and go open the door, and my heart nearly jumps out of my chest.

“Hey, brat,” Zach says, standing there looking as sexy and annoying as ever.

I jump into his arms, and he spins me around. “You knew you were coming when you talked to me today!”

“Yeah, I already had my stuff packed. I was waiting for you to call so I could leave,” he says after he puts me down.

“Gwen, who is that?”

“This is my best friend, Zach,” I tell her excitedly as she approaches us.

She gives him a once-over and smirks. “Oh, wow!”

Zach’s look can do that to a girl. He gives her one of his sexy, breath-stopping smiles.

“I remember you. You’re still beautiful as ever,” he says as I pull him into the house and shut the door.

Gia’s face reddens. He’s wearing a black knitted cap over his long black curls and a grey sweater with skulls all over it. I wouldn’t say he’s even remotely close to Gia’s type, but Zach’s looks and disarming attitude would definitely qualify him for a roll in the hay. Not that I could see Gia ever doing that type of thing.

“Thank you, come have a seat.” She gestures toward the living room.

He follows us and sits on her couch, setting his backpack between his legs. I sit next to him, and when he pulls my leg over his and massages it, Gia’s eyes widen. Zach doesn’t notice.

“How long are you staying?” I ask, squeezing his hand.

“I only got two nights off, so I’ll be headed back after that,” he says in his slow, dragging tone.

“Where are you staying?” I ask. I know he doesn’t know anyone here but me.

“Maybe a motel or something.” He shrugs.

“No, that wouldn’t make sense. You can stay here!”

Gia clears her throat, and Zach’s and my eyes fall on her.

“Umm, can you excuse us one minute, Zach?” She gestures for me to follow her to her bedroom.

I kiss his cheek before following her. She’s all smiles until we’re in her bedroom with the door closed.

“He can’t stay here, Gwen,” she says indignantly, and I frown at her.

“Why not?”

“Because he’s a guy, I don’t know him, and you two can’t keep your hands off each other,” she says as if it’s obvious.

“That’s so unfair! He’s my friend. Our relationship is a little unique, but if you’re worried about us getting it on, that’s not happening. But even if it was, I’m an adult. I’m not a little girl, and isn’t this my house too?” I ask indignantly.

She sighs and runs her hand over her face. “Mom wouldn’t like it.”

“Who the hell cares what Mom thinks? Gia, I live with you. I’m not a houseguest. I moved here so that I could have freedom, not be treated like a little kid.”