If I Break THE COMPLETE SERIES Bundle (98 page)

“Lauren Brooks,” I hear a somewhat familiar voice say. I look up and see a tall blonde man in an expensive looking blue suit. I don’t recognize him but he looks like he’s someone important, maybe head of hotel security. Oh gosh, what did I do now?

“I’m sorry. Have we met before?” I ask hesitantly. He’s pretty cute and when he smiles at me I feel myself start to blush.

“Oh don’t break my heart. Was I that forgettable?” he asks flirtatiously taking the seat next to mine. Who is this guy?

“Bartender, rum and coke for me and a Long Island for the lady,” he says turning his body towards me. I survey his face closely and it hits me.

“Jason Daniels!” I say, the realization dawning on me. “Wow, you look great,” I say nudging him. He always was attractive but he’s definitely grown into his looks.

“Thank you. You’re still as stunning as the day I first met you,” he says before taking a sip of his drink.

“You remembered my drink,” I say, surprised before I take a sip.

“Of course I did,” he says with a laugh.

“How are you? What are you doing in Detroit?” I ask.

He tells me that he’s in a more prominent position and in town for a story. That he’s now an investigative reporter, a long way from his entertainment fluff section. He talks about the cases he’s worked on and the places he’s traveled. I remember Jason always did like to talk about himself and I’m not sure if it’s just the vodka or the Long Island iced tea, but he seems a hell of a lot more interesting tonight than he was before.

“What about you? Are you still in Chicago?” he asks and I nod.

“Isn’t that a coincidence? So am I,” he says leaning into my space.

“I’d love to take you out sometime when we’re back in town,” he says and I giggle. Yup, I just giggled.

“Uhmmm, that wouldn’t be such a good idea,” I sigh and he gives me a playful frown.

“Oh? Why not? Let me guess, you’re married now?” he asks. I run my hand through my hair. I am but not exactly.

“Engaged?” he asks as if he’s trying to help me along.

“Separated,” I say.

Separated sounds perfect and surprisingly accurate.

“Then that means it would be okay for me to take you to dinner as a friend,” he says as a smile spreading across his face. It’s been such a long time since a man has been so overtly interested in me. It feels good to feel attractive after being alone for two years and the one man I’m attracted to looks at me as if I’m his sister-in-law most of the time.

“My life is very complicated… things are really complicated,” I confess.

“With your separtee?” he jokes and I can’t help but laugh.

“Lauren, you are one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. You’re sweet, funny and intelligent. A man would have to be out of his mind to need space from you or for him to make you feel like you need it.” It’s funny that he’d use those words and I’m surprised when I start to feel butterflies in my stomach. Jason’s attractive but I never had this reaction with anyone other than Cal…well, Chris. Maybe it’s the liquor.

“It’s time to go, Lauren,” a firm hand grips my arm and lifts me from my seat. I look back and see Chris helping me up. To my surprise he looks…pissed, maybe even jealous. I hear Jason sigh as he looks from me to Chris.

“Cal Scott,” Jason says flatly. My eyebrow lifts. God, if he says he’s not Cal… I get my balance and stand beside Chris, whose deadpan stare looks a little familiar.

“I’d love for you to make a comment on Crestfield Corp’s recent acquisition of Maratech,” Jason says.

“Get in line,” he says coldly as he ushers me out of the room. I look back at Jason who gives me a flirtatious smile.

“You don’t think that was a little rude?” I ask covering the hiccup escaping from my mouth as we make our way to the elevator.

“You shouldn’t drink like that by yourself in a strange hotel. What if that guy had slipped you something?” he says accusingly.

“The bartender made the drink right in front of me. He didn’t just walk over and hand it to me. And, I know him,” I say defensively. The ride up the elevator is short and not so sweet. Lucky for Chris, our rooms are only on the fifth floor. He waits for me to exit first. I walk quickly until I feel a little off balance and have to slow down. I pull out my room key and look back at Chris who is shaking his head disapprovingly.

“Other side,” he says pointing to the door to the left of where I am now. I knew that. I hear Chris sigh behind me. He closes the door once we’re inside and sits in a lounge chair across from the TV. I roll my eyes. Why is he in here? Why won’t he just leave me alone? I don’t want to be his fucking friend.

If anyone should be sighing, it should be me. I slam my butt on the bed so he can see how mad I am. I can’t believe his audacity. He didn’t come down there to rescue me from the boogey man. He was jealous that I had an attractive man actually interested in me. He doesn’t have the right to be jealous. If I’m not allowed to show my jealousy, that I’m dying inside whenever Jenna’s near him, that when I hear him talk to her my insides feel like they’re crumbling, then he doesn’t get to be jealous. How dare he not get it? I don’t want any other man. I only want him, and god damn it, this stupid alcohol is making me cry.

L
auren is definitely a sight to behold when she’s drinking. She acts like a bratty ten year old. She rolls her eyes, she stomps and pouts. I had to frown to keep from letting her see me laugh. Well, the frown when I walked into the restaurant and saw that guy about to practically pounce on her was real. It took everything in me not to knock him right out of his seat. She didn’t put up a fight when I took her out of there, which was good. I didn’t want to cause a scene but she was coming with me whether she liked it or not. She was funny after the drinks she had, it was cute... until she started crying and now she’s been in the bathroom for the past ten minutes. Seeing her cry makes me feel like the lowest thing on the earth because I know it has something to do with me, or him, but this time I think it was me. I let out a deep breath and finally knock on the door.

“Lauren,” I say quietly. She doesn’t say anything. So I knock again.

“Just leave me alone, Chris.”

“Can you please come out?” I ask.

“You don’t want me to come out. Trust me. I’m an emotional mess and
you
are not prepared to deal with this version of me.”

“I’d love whatever version of you is in there to come out,” I feel a smile spread across my face. I think of the way she smiles, how she bites her lip, how she steals glances at me when she thinks I don’t see. The way she takes care of Caylen, how even when she’s mad and pouting she has the most angelic eyes and kissable lips, lips
I’ve
never taken the opportunity to kiss.

“You’re going to make me sing to you from out here if you don’t come out,” I threaten. I think back to the way she looked at me when I played after Caylen went to sleep... it felt like she were seeing me—Chris, not Cal—for the first time. She looked at me the same way my mom looks at my dad.

I didn’t want to admit it then but Jenna’s never looked at me like that.

“That’s not a good threat. You’re an amazing singer, Chris,” I hear a little laugh.

“You’re extremely generous when you’ve been drinking,” I say laughing as I sit down on the floor next to the door.

“Trust me, I won’t sound as good without the guitar,” I say. I can tell she’s not crying anymore and that was my ultimate goal.

“Can you come out please?” I ask again. She’s quiet. I hope she’s considering it.

“I’ll tell you a secret if you come out,” I promise her.

“A good one or a boring one?” she asks and I laugh.

“Well if it’s boring
I’ll
go in the bathroom the rest of the night.” I hear water running and a few seconds later she opens the door and comes out. After a little contemplation she sits down on the floor beside me.

“Okay, what’s your secret?” Her voice sounds light and airy. I sigh and look over at her, those eyes of hers, full of curiosity. She’s so close she ought to be able to see into my soul. I feel like I’m ready to erase that line between us but I still feel reluctant. I know once it’s gone, there will be no going back.

“I’ve remembered things,” I say and her eyes widen. My heart skips a beat.

“You’ve had more memories?” she asks excitedly and I feel terrible that I’m only just now sharing them with her.

I nod.

“What have you remembered?” she asks. I let out a deep breath.

“I remember the first time Cal told you he loved you,” I say and I hear her breath catch in her throat.

“I remember when you were moving and you said you didn’t see him as the villain,” I continue, swallowing the lump in my throat, and I see her eyes fill with tears.

“I remember him telling Dexter that he needed you,” I say and take a deep breath.

“I-I remember how much he loves you,” I say finally and I look over at her, She lets out a breath like she’s been holding it for years. She lets her head fall back against the wall and while the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen spreads across her face, an array of emotions, hope, joy, and relief cross her face.

“And I did my homework. The three things I like about Cal are: he met you, he made Caylen and he brought you both into my life,” I say feeling my heart starting to beat faster. I hear her breathing start to quicken. She stands up and begins to pace the room and shakes her head.

“Chris, you can’t say things like that to me and think that I can do this with you,” she says like it’s painful. I look at her confused. I stand up and walk over to her, the inches between us disappearing as our chests touch.

“Do what?” I ask. As she looks in my eyes I think she must be trying to read my thoughts.

“Pretend I can be your friend. That I’m not in love with you,” she breaths out desperately.

“Do you love me Lauren?

“What do you mean?” she asks quietly.

“I need to know that you love
me,”
I ask her honestly. She looks at me intently, the time passing between us seems like an eternity.

“You’re right here. I’m in love with you, Chris,” she says standing on her tiptoes and bringing her lips to mine. She kisses me softly but with such pent up passion that it takes my breath away. I pick her up and pull her as close to me as possible. Before I know it, we’re on the bed. I’m kneeling over her and she looks so beautiful.

“I want
you,
Chris,” she says pleadingly, before pulling me down on top of her.

T
wo years since I’ve felt a man’s touch. Two years that I’ve been missing
his
touch. I imagined it so many nights but nothing compared to the reality of feeling him. His caresses release the hopeless longing and constrained emotion, all pouring off me in waves of ecstasy. Each kiss and touch different, but so familiar. His fingers intertwine with mine before raising my hands over my head. He looks at me as if I’m his everything, taking in every inch of me. He slowly raises my shirt over my stomach. His fingers against my skin make me feel alive. I can’t breathe. I’m scared to breathe. If I move too fast I might wake up... if this is a dream, I want to stay in it forever. He lifts me up to him as he pulls my shirt over my head and I do the same with his.