If I Say Yes (27 page)

No emails from my stalker. I slowly let a breath of relief out, which is quickly replaced by fear. The silence has gone on long enough. I don’t
know if this means whoever it is has given up or if it means they are
waiting for something. What that is, I don’t have any idea. Ignoring the
wave of uneasiness, I scan through the emails I do have, randomly
choose one, and open it. The author sounds promising; her story sounds
like it will be amazing. I read the three required chapters that are in the
email and quickly respond with a request for the rest of her manuscript.

I’m
finding
it easier to filter through the hoard of emails
bombardin
g
my inbox. By noon, I have requested full manuscripts from four more
authors. I decide to take a break and eat some lunch. I bring the laptop
downstairs to the kitchen with me and set it on the breakfast bar while
Panic Station
by Muse blares
through
the tiny speakers. I dance t
hroughou
t
the kitchen as I search for the ingredients I need to make the meanest
grilled cheese sandwich mankind has ever known. With all the ingredients
in hand, I start cooking. The music switches over to Justin Timberlake’s
Sexy Back
. I laugh softly to myself at Reid’s eclectic taste in music, which
is very much like my own. Halfway through the song, it cuts off, and I assume it’s because the battery has died and keep singing the lyrics out loud, still dancing.

I hear a laugh behind me, one I know intimately, and I freeze. The
heat rushes to my face, and I slowly turn around and come face to face
with Reid. “If you promise to be doing that every day at lunch time…
I promise to be home every day at lunch time.” He smiles and pulls
me against him.

“Ha ha, very funny. I’ll have you know that I am not going to be one of those women who stays at home with bare feet and a million children running around.” I snuggle against his chest.

“I didn’t think you were. But the idea is appealing.” I push away from him and see the humor dancing in his eyes.

“Lunch?” I ask. I wasn’t expecting him home for lunch, but I am glad he came. Reid nods his head, and I turn back to make him a sandwich. He laughs softly to himself, and I pause to look at him. “What’s so funny?”

“N-n-nothing.” His face flushes red at being caught. He sits down
on one of the bar stools and watches me. “Don’t let me keep you
distracted.”

With that, I finish making our lunch. I set his plate down in front of him and take a seat next to him. Reid tells me about his uneventful
morning at work and how it isn’t the same knowing he can’t come
bother me at my office. I remind him that it’s work, not a playground,
and that we can’t be horsing around. Of course, he doesn’t see it that
way. He doesn’t stay for very long, because he has to get back in time
for a meeting, but doesn’t leave without pulling me into the most
sensational kiss I’ve ever experienced.

I watch as Reid pulls out of the driveway and sag against the door
frame, missing him already. He’s going to be late again at the office. Once his car is no longer in sight, I close the door and head back into
the kitchen. I stop at the computer and see that it hasn’t died, but rather
he paused the song. I push play and begin to dance around as the song
begins to fill the room again. I look through the pantry and refrigerator
in search of what to prepare for dinner tonight. I settle on making some
lemon pepper salmon with a nice fresh salad and a glass of wine. With
dinner
decided
and
Reid
on his way back to work, I am left with nothing
to do but get back on the computer and do some more work.

My luck has run out from this morning. None of the emails I read
sound appealing, none are eye catching, and none give me the sense that I have to request more from the author or I will regret it. After a
couple more hours, I decide to take a break, prep what I need to for
dinner, and grab a plate full of cookies and a glass of milk before getting
back on the computer. After about an hour of reading absolute nonsense,
like an author who wrote a book about a girl who can’t decide between
three men she claims to love and which one to marry.

Sure, the book might sell, readers love these kind of things. They love a woman torn between X amount of men. I just don’t want my
name tied to a story like this. To something I don’t believe in. No way.
Call me critical, call me whatever you please, but I stand by my beliefs
and my decisions. I check the box next to the email and send it to the
trash. Just as I do so, my inbox beeps with a new message. My heart drops when I see that it’s from an unknown user. I hesitate before
finally clicking it open.

From: Unknown Sender

To: [email protected]

It seems as though the two love birds have finally come back to reality. I do hope, darling, that you make a move soon and tell lover boy the truth before I do. Or before something happens to him. Let’s
not forget your dear, sweet friend Elias. Rumor has it that you guys
had quite the showdown at a quaint little restaurant downtown.
However, it seems as though you have made your choice. Watch your
back and that lovesick puppy of yours. You never know when I’m coming for either one of you.

I delete the email, more determined than ever to get to the bottom
of this. First things first, I have a trip to make, the one I have put off
all day, and then I’ll tell Reid everything— including this anonymous
stalker of mine. Then, I will track whoever it is threatening me and the
ones I love deeply and put an end to all this bull, and to them. With a
new found strength, I close the laptop and head upstairs. I pull on the
first pair of jeans, T-shirt, and flats I find. I pull my slightly wet hair back
in a ponytail. I make my way through the house and exit through the front door, slamming it behind me.

This all ends today.

I am no longer going to hide. I am no longer going to be ashamed
of who my parents are, what my mother did, or what my father did. Their actions are no longer going to define me. I am my own person,
and today is the first time I start to own up to that. Today I am taking
a stand. Today I begin to live life the way I want to and not the way
my fears want me to. My fears will no longer control my actions. With
determination, I leave the driveway and head up the street towards the house I have always feared.

THE SKY IS BURSTING
with shades of pink as the sun sets. The temperature is quickly dropping, and I wrap my arms tightly around myself. As I reach the end of the driveway, I see the house coming into view. The grand, crisp white structure towers over me as I reach the end of the circular driveway. It’s a picturesque sight, a home that
people can only dream of, a place where they dream of raising a family
in, a place where memories are made. The house is a house of dreams,
but to me it’s a house of horror.

Nothing good has ever come from this place. This house is the
very place that haunts me deep in the night. A constant reminder of
what little I had that was stripped away from me. My mind is telling my body to move, to step away from the beautiful marble fountain that sits in front of the house. To take one step at a time until I reach
the elegant double doors, but my body refuses to listen. I am frozen in
place, trapped in the memories of what this house means to me. I can barely breathe, my heart is pounding in my chest, and my knees are
shaking. For a split second, I wish Eli was here with me, but I quickly
dismiss the thought. Immediately, my mind goes to Reid, but I still haven’t told him about this part of my past— yet. Maybe it’s better
this way. Maybe it’s better to face my demons alone.

With a deep breath, I slowly move to the front door. I pull out the
key, insert it into the lock, and turn it without a struggle. I step through
the door, and it’s like I’ve been transported back into time. My vision tunnels, my heart races, and all I can see is blood. Tears stream down
my face as I try to regain some control of my emotions, but it’s no use.
No matter how many times I blink my eyes, shake my head, or how
many breaths I take, all I can see is red. I close my eyes, slowly inhaling
through my nose and exhaling out of my mouth.

“Fear doesn’t control you. Own your fears. Take control. Face your
demons.” I repeat the words that my therapist has told me on more
than one occasion. I say them over and over again until I can feel the
power behind them begin to strengthen, and I finally open my eyes
and see the blood is gone.

Everything seems to be just as it had all my life. Everything has been restored to all its former glory. The blood has been cleaned up,
and the broken furniture has been replaced with exact replicas, just as
I had ordered. The marble floor glistens under the sun filtering through
the windows in the vaulted ceilings above, the sun’s rays bouncing off the
chandelier and dancing along the walls, and the stairs have been
restored to the way they looked before the murder. Time has a way of
changing things. However, it‘s as if time hasn’t touched this room at all.

The scent of fresh roses pulls me back into the vicious cycle of
nightmares
as I begin to climb up the stairs. The memory of the
bloodshed
begins to taunt me, and I can see it again. Finding my mother battered
and dead hits me full force, as well as my father making a move to attack
me next. My hand subconsciously moves to the jagged scar along my
abdomen, and I gently rub it. As I reach the top of the landing, I swear
I can hear the soft sounds of a piano playing from the third floor. I
pause, glancing down the hallway where my parents’ room resides, but
I don’t dare linger towards it. Being in their room is more than I can handle today. Maybe one day I can step foot into their room, but that day isn’t today. So instead, I begin to climb the next set of stairs and make my way to the music room.

The climb is excruciating, and I don’t remember there being as
many stairs when I was younger. As I reach the top of the stairs, the
music becomes louder, dancing towards me, and calling for me to come
and play. I get lost in the moment, my focus on nothing but the sound
of the beautiful music coming my way. I yearn to play again. The hole
in my heart is missing the very core of its being. Beethoven’s
Moonlight
Sonata
calls for me, taking me back to the time I spent weeks trying to perfect it until I could play it without sheet music— when I was only
eight years old.

I walk towards the room apprehensively, and doubt begins to fill
my mind, questioning if I am ready to face the music, literally. I press
the door open slowly, and a low gasp escapes my lips. My mind must
really be playing tricks on me. It’s bad enough that I am hearing
music playing in my head, but now I am actually seeing someone
sitting at the piano playing. I can see a familiar shade of strawberry
blonde hair cascading down the person’s back. I don’t have to see her
face to know who it is.

“Heidi?” Her name comes out a whisper. When the piano stops
playing, she turns her head towards me and confirms that it is indeed
her. Her blue eyes stare daggers into me. If looks could kill, I would
probably be dead right now. “What are you doing here?”
How do you know about this place?

“I was wondering when you would finally make your way home,
Elizabeth.
” My name slides off her tongue like acid.
How does she know my name?
Heidi laughs, a laugh that sounds like it belongs to an evil villain in a movie, and it sends chills down my spine. She crosses the distance between us, and I smell something familiar and try to wrap
my head around the scent. It’s my perfume, the one I use to wear as a
teenager. The scent sends me spiraling back into my past, and flashes
of memories dance in front of me like a movie. The recitals my mother
never came to… my carefree days with Jacob, Millie, Eli, and the rest of my friends… finally settling on the night of my mother’s death.

“Hello…” Heidi interrupts the montage. “I am here to make you suffer the way I have had to suffer for the last twenty-four years of my life.”

I stare at the woman who is supposed to be my assistant, my eyes
wide, and feeling utterly confused. “What are you talking about?”

“As if you didn’t know.”

“Heidi… whatever it is, I honestly have no idea what you are
talking about.” She brings her hand up and slaps me across the face. The hit stings, causing tears to form in the corner of my eyes, and all I can do is stand there frozen in place.